Cassie
“What about this?” I ask the girls, holding up a shiny, silver vest. “I could wear it over a lime green tube top!”
“Ooooh, yes!” Jess says with glee, grabbing the vest from me and holding it up over my chest. “If you button this top one, it’ll push your titties up all nice and pretty.”
I snort as Skyler adds, “We have to put LED lights on your cowboy hat.”
“Duh,” I say with a flip of my hair. “And star earrings. Every space cowboy has star earrings.”
I grab the vest from Jess and toss it in our cart, and then we move along.
“I love thrift shopping,” Erin says, dragging her fingertips along the rack of clothes as we walk. “Especially when it comes to planning for Halloween.”
“What are you going to be again?” I ask.
“We’re going to be a doctor and a nurse,” she says with her cheeks shading red.
“We,” Jess repeats with a cock of her eyebrow. “As in, you and Bear?”
Erin nods.
“God, I’m obsessed with you two,” Jess says with a shake of her head. “I think I ship you more than any celebrity relationship I’ve ever followed.”
“I think Bear just wants to see me in a little nurse uniform,” Erin says.
“Obviously,” I chime in. “But hey, that’s half the fun of Halloween — get all dressed up just to have someone else strip it all off.”
The girls laugh at that, but mine is cut short when I remember I won’t have that part of the night this year.
This will be the first Halloween I haven’t spent with Adam since… well, since coming to college.
Of course, half of those Halloweens, I was with another guy. The first time, Adam was with Skyler and I was with Clay. Then, there was Grayson. Truthfully, we’ve only really had one together.
And this year, we’ll be on opposite sides of the country.
“What about you over there, mopey pants?” Jess asks Ashlei — who has been quiet all day long. She’s just dragged along behind us, eyes dull, hands not even bothering to reach for a single article of clothing.
“A mummy,” she deadpans, making a dramatic gesture to her slung-up arm.
Skyler chuckles, looping her arm through Ashlei’s healthy one. “You know, we could probably make that hot. Just wrap a thin layer of gauze around your titties, a tiny skirt around your waist… show of that lean tummy of yours.”
“It won’t be lean for long with all this sitting around I’m doing.”
The joke falls flat when Ashlei delivers it, because it doesn’t have bite or any semblance of sarcasm. It’s just… sad. Pitiful. The way she has been ever since the accident.
“I’m sorry, Lei,” I say softly, reaching out to squeeze her wrist. “I hate this for you. Do you have any update when you start PT?”
“Not until I’m cleared from wearing this thing,” she says, again gesturing to the sling. “And that won’t be for another six weeks or so.”
“It could be less,” Skyler tries.
“I don’t want to get my hopes up,” Ashlei responds. “I can’t afford to.”
The girls and I share glances, knowing our friend is in a rough patch and there’s not much we can do but just be there for her.
Sometimes, things are so dark and bleary, the last thing you need is someone telling you it’ll be alright or to look on the bright side. Sometimes, you just need someone to lie down in the darkness with you and remind you you’re not alone.
Jess wraps her up in a careful hug. “We’ll make you the hottest mummy yet. And if you want to call off Halloween altogether and watch scary movies on the couch with some junk food and wine? I got you.”
“Me, too,” Skyler says. “Honestly, I don’t have any plans other than make sure our new pledges don’t get into too much trouble.”
“I told Tera I’d take her to Ralph’s, but I can totally cancel,” I say.
“No, you can’t,” Skyler throws at me. “Big-Little Reveal is soon, and you’re not the only one with eyes on Tera.”
“Besides, every KKB sister has to experience Halloween at Ralph’s,” Jess chimes in.
I sigh. “I know, and I’m excited to take her and show her the ropes. Really, I am. It’s just…”
“It’s just that Adam won’t be there,” Ashlei finishes for me, and when our eyes meet, a soft nod is all I can give as a response.
“How has it been going with him gone?” Jess asks.
“Fine, I guess,” I say, stopping at a rack with neon colors. I hold up a pair of hot pink fishnets, and before I can even ask, Skyler grabs them from my hands and throws them in our cart.
“Fine never actually means fine,” Ashlei assesses.
“Well, it was fine. At first. I mean, we had the summer together, and then when he got sent to Boulder, we would text and call and video chat all the time. But lately… I don’t know.
He’s been busier, and I keep seeing him tagged in pictures with all these girls.
I know it’s part of the job — he’s helping the brothers throw events, working with other executive members in the fraternities and sororities, but… ”
“But he has a whole life without you,” Jess finishes, her eyes understanding. “That was the hardest part for me with Jarrett.”
“Yes,” I agree, rubbing a velvet jacket between my fingertips as my gaze loses focus.
“He just feels… distant. He always has to go. He always has something to do. And there’s this girl he keeps mentioning, Chandler.
They met when he helped her with a girl in her sorority who was entirely too drunk, and now they’re kind of like…
I don’t know, mentors for each other? He’s been helping her out and she’s returning the favor. It sounds friendly, but…”
“It’s natural to feel jealous and intimidated and scared,” Jess tells me, squeezing my arm. “But listen to me — Adam is all yours. I mean, you’re wearing his letters. That might as well be an engagement ring around your neck.”
I finger the necklace as she says the words, heart thrumming at the memory of the day he gave it to me.
“Don’t make the mistake I did and make a bigger deal out of something than it is. Trust him. He loves you. Okay?”
I nod. “Thank you.”
“Speaking of that… what’s going on with the boys?” Ashlei asks Jess.
She sighs, throwing her hands up. “God if I know. Taking the summer away from both of them didn’t help anything — I think I was just trying to avoid it. But Kade came over and we’ve been talking so much, and I had such an amazing time with him at the A Sig karaoke event.”
“Oh, we know,” Skyler says with a smirk.
Jess flicks her arm. “But now Jarett wants his turn.”
“Are you going to give it to him?” I ask.
Jess stops at a rack and leans into it, the clothes and hangers groaning with the weight of her.
“I know it sounds fucked up but… I have to. I have to see him. I have to talk to him and ask questions that have been eating me up. I have to see if what we had is still there.” She pauses.
“He was my first real love. He was my first real heartbreak, too. And I… I don’t think I can let him go. ”
“Ever?” I ask.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. All I know right now is that I have plans with him on Halloween, so we’ll see what happens.”
“Well, now I’m definitely not asking for a girls’ night,” Ashlei says.
“I’d bail on him for you,” Jess promises.
Ashlei smiles, kissing her cheek. “I know. But this drama is too good for me to pass up on. It’d be like missing a week of my favorite TV show.”
Jess flicks her off, and with a soft laugh, we all start perusing the clothes racks again.
Skyler avoids the Kip question when it comes up, and Ashlei falls back into her silent, glazed state of being.
The KKB girls aren’t in the best shape right now.
But at least we have each other.