21. WRECKAGE
WRECKAGE
KARSON
When I arrived home from seeing Ivy, I collapsed in a heap. My heart crushed.
I didn’t bother to shower. I lived in sweatpants and a hoodie, stuck in the same cycle.
Every breath was a struggle.
Gus asked me what was going on, so I told him I was coming down with something.
I just wanted to be alone.
Nothing anyone said could fix what had happened or fix me. My parents had cast me aside as soon as I was old enough to be shipped off. And now, the only woman I’d ever loved had—
My phone buzzed on the table beside me.
IVY: I’m so sorry, Karson. Can we talk? It was just a kiss. I love you and only you. Please. Call me.
I wanted to call her. To answer her.
But the thought of them kissing—and who knew what else—made me sick with jealousy.
Was most of it in my head?
I didn’t know how much real and how much was I was my imagination. They’d looked so intimate.
My jealousy rattled me. But I couldn’t deny it was there. It was something I needed to untangle, if I ever wanted a relationship built on trust and honesty.
I snatched my phone and tapped Reply, typing the first letter of her name before backspacing, then tossing the phone aside.
I lay there, staring at the ceiling. I wanted to fix things. But how could I? Surely her love for me wasn’t as strong as mine, not if she could kiss someone else.
Her name glowed on the screen. I’d lost count of how many times it had lit up. Each time, my thumb hovered over Call before I turned the phone facedown.
One day after another drifted by in a haze until my mother breezed into town. I’d slept even less the night she’d arrived, I was adrift, like a boat with no one at the helm. Closing my eyes, I slumped into the pillow, trying to calm the snarl of thoughts tangled in my head.
I basically had no family.
The thought dragged me back to the day before, when my mother had arrived on the doorstep…
she’d flown into Sydney, for some extravagant event with her usual flock of private-jet-traveling, lavishly dressed friends.
Apparently, her harborside residence was undergoing another renovation. So I had the pleasure of her company.
Instinct had warned me not to confide in her—she’d never loved me, not the way a parent usually does—but I needed her to know what my father had been doing.
And maybe it was pure desperation, because I was hurting, but I’d tried to talk to her when she’d arrived. Mother to son…
“There’s much to do before tonight.” She tossed her purse onto the gleaming marble bench. “Ross, fetch the luggage. I’ve been on the plane for hours. I need to get ready.”
Ross, her personal assistant, quickened his step at her command.
Searching for a hint of interest, I caught her eye. “Mom, I need to talk to you.”
“Can’t it wait?” She shook her head impatiently. “You have terrible timing. My designer is arriving soon, and I need to go over the details of my wardrobe with him urgently.”
My shoulders dropped. “Not really.”
“Well?” She sighed. “What is it?”
Clasping my hands together, I suppressed the desire to flee. “There are things you need to know. But first, I wanted to tell you I met someone amazing,” I said, shifting from one foot to the other.
Her face lit up. “Yes, that girl, Bella? That’s wonderful. How’s it going?” She beamed. “I should invite her to the event tonight.”
“No, Mom. Not Bella.”
“What do you mean, ‘not Bella’?”
“Mom, I met someone on the Gold Coast. She was special. I’ve never felt like that before, but Karlos found out and he threatened to hurt her… and her dad.”
Every muscle in her body went still as her laser-like eyes fixed on mine.
“There’s more,” I said, hopeful she might be sympathetic. “I found out some terrible things are going on at SolStar. Karlos is behind them, Mom.”
An icy glaze settled over her eyes. “Your father needs to play rough sometimes to make the kind of money we have, Karson. To protect us from losing all this,” she said, sweeping her hand in an arc. “And to protect us from people who could never understand us, or how we live.”
“But he’s—”
Ross, carrying a mountain of sleek luggage, appeared in the doorway.
“Karson, don’t be so dramatic. Your father knows what’s best. Now, I simply must see to my wardrobe.”
As she stalked away, barking out orders to Ross, a knife twisted in my back.
Falling to pieces, I retreated to my bedroom and sank lifelessly into the chair, staring out through the window. The waves pushed upward, peaking in a triumphant crest before collapsing and repeating the cycle again and again.
Sunlight faded into darkness, and silence closed in around me until, at last, I fell into a restless sleep.
When I opened my eyes again, morning light crept across the room, and the pit in my stomach reminded me that, even after my mother's dismissal, I had to face her again. On autopilot, I went downstairs to find her. To piece together some kind of truce.
But she’d gone. She was truly lost to me. Just like Ivy. It left a hole inside me, one I couldn’t fill. I’d loved Ivy with all I had. All that was left was a hollow ache.
With coffee in hand, I stumbled back to my room. As I lay on the bed, I glared bitterly at my phone before drifting into another uneasy sleep.
But even in my dreams… she was there.
***
My phone vibrated on the bedside dresser again. For almost two weeks, Ivy’s name had been lighting up my screen—calls and messages I couldn’t make myself answer.
The lump in my throat tightened as her name flashed again.
I could just pick up the phone. Talk to her… maybe this would all go away.
I made a grab for it, but the image of them kissing cut through my mind like shards of broken glass. I yanked my hand away as if it had touched a flame.
Thinking about Ivy was like poking a raw wound.
IVY: Karson, I love you. The kiss was an accident. Please talk to me. Can we fix this?
I stared at the message as my heart lodged in my throat, my finger hovering over the Call button.
But the memory of seeing her almost naked with Miki stampeded through my head like a herd of wild horses.
Snatching my hand away, I reached for the soda instead, chugging it down and grabbing another slice of pizza.
I stared lifelessly, chewing slowly, until Gus walked in, pulling me from my trance.
Concern flickered across his face. He’d worn that expression since Karlos had warned him to keep me on a shorter leash.
If he didn’t do his job better, it’d be another strike against him. Karlos had threatened to fire him, then stripped him of his authority to approve my purchases. Everything had to go through Lexi or Karlos himself.
Karlos was suspicious. I needed to move faster and put my mind where it should be. And even though I had a pile of cash hidden in my room, I’d been asking for permission to order Uber Eats and make small purchases, just to avoid drawing attention.
This time, I didn’t bother pretending I was sick. Gus’s eyes grew wider, his mouth hanging open as I told him everything that was going on at SolStar and that Ivy and I had fallen out.
“Karson, I know you’re down, but son, it’s time to get back up. You haven’t been to class for two weeks.” His eyes darkened. “I can’t keep telling your father you’re sick, or you’ll raise his hackles—and we’ll both pay the price.”
Straightening in the chair, I shut my eyes for a few seconds. Gus was right. I needed to pull it together. The weight of what needed to be done was always in the back of my mind. Karlos was expecting me at the annual dinner tonight, and I had to follow through.
It was time to deal with my father. “You leave my father to me, Gus,” I said fiercely. “You won’t be working for Karlos much longer.”
His eyes bulged in alarm. “Karson, I hope this all goes well. I have bills—”
“I’ve got your back, Gus. You know you’re my family.
You’ve always been there for me over the years.
That means everything.” My head pulsed, and I pressed my palms against my eyes.
“Gus, here’s what’s going to happen. I know you’d like to retire one day.
You won’t have to worry about money. When you’re ready, this house will be yours. ”
He fiddled with his shirt button, opening his mouth to speak before slumping into the chair. “Karson,” he said, tugging at his ear. “I can’t accept that.”
“It’s already organized. You see? It wasn’t a complete waste of time bed-rotting in here,” I said, glad the plan was already in motion.
“I’m pretty sure you only stayed in this job so that when I was home for the holidays, you could be a buffer between my father and me. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without you. Now it’s my turn to do something for you.”
“Someone had to look out for you,” he said, a smile spreading across his face. “You don’t know what this means to me, my boy. Even if I worked for your father until I was a hundred years old, I’d never make ends meet with what he pays me.”
He rose to his feet. “Thank you.”
“You don’t need to worry anymore, Gus. You’re family. And whatever you need, you only need to ask.”
A smile covered his face as he pulled me in for a bear hug. “And you’re my family too. Never forget that.”
A glimmer of warmth stirred inside me. I wasn’t completely alone. “Let me go, Gus,” I said with a light chuckle. “I can’t breathe.”
He pounded me on the back and set me free. “There is one thing you could help me with.”
“Anything.”
“Tonight’s the night I’ve been waiting for, Gus. The SolStar Annual Black-Tie Dinner, where I’m giving a speech. Anyone who’s anyone will be there. Mostly, it’s an opportunity for them to wine and dine and network,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Can you help me get ready?”
“Of course I can. At two thousand dollars a ticket, it must be one hell of a feast!” Gus chuckled. “And when you’re done, I’ll be right outside waiting to leave.”
“I’ll have a captive audience, and that’s what I need to pull this off. And you might be right about it being a feast… but I don’t plan on sticking around to find out.”
“Let’s get you ready. I’ve just had your suits dry-cleaned.”
“Gus, what would I do without you?” I held out my fist, and he bumped his against mine.
He walked into the wardrobe and reached for my suit.