22. EXPOSED #2
“Stop,” he said like a whiny kid, rubbing at his chest.
“What kind of father tries to frame his own son?” I shoved him again, sending him stumbling backward. “The way you’ve treated Ivy is fucking sick. Your power’s gone now, though, isn’t it? How does it feel? You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you. That’d be less than you deserve.”
He gripped his bag across his chest, his knuckles turning white. “I had to set the companies up in your name. There was no choice. It wasn’t meant to come back on you. Using my name attracted too much attention.” His eyes darted around, landing on the growing line at security.
I fought the urge to break him in two. “I can’t believe anything you say.”
“Look, Karson, SolStar looked good on paper, but it’s been hemorrhaging money for years. It was the only way to bring the company into the black. And it worked. The price was the best it had ever been.” He shrugged, as if criminality had been the obvious solution.
“You’re a complete madman. Nothing you say can justify the monstrous things you’ve done.” I gaped in disbelief. “Do you even care that people have died because of the weapons you supplied?”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s business. If it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. I did it for you. And for your mother. If you hadn’t stuck your nose into my business, everything would’ve been fine. Nobody would have even known about it. But you had to ruin it.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s illegal. You’re a criminal. And using me and your investors like that makes it worse. I’m your son. You should have moved heaven and earth to keep my name out of your murky deals.”
“Of course, you wouldn’t understand.” His mouth curled into a snarl. “I had to work for everything I achieved. You grew up wanting for nothing. Because of me.” His voice cracked. “I had to save the company. There was no choice,” he whispered, looking at the ground, suddenly frail.
“That’s where you’re wrong.” I shuffled away from him. “There’s always a choice. You just didn’t make the right ones.”
He shrugged weakly. “I know I haven’t been a good father,” he said, looking back up at me. “But my life was hard as a boy. That’s why I sent you away, to protect you.” He sniffled, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
Whoa. This is uncharted territory. I’ve never even seen him show emotion.
My skin tingled, and I wanted to hide. I wasn’t up for being his confidant, not after all he’d done.
He reached into his pocket. “Here, take this,” he said, pulling out an envelope and pressing it into my hand.
“I was going to send it to you, but you’re here now.
It might help you understand.” His voice was small, his posture sagging.
“Your mother is already in the Caribbean, redecorating our house there. I’d like to join her. ”
I froze in place. My mouth opened… but the words didn’t come.
“You can call the authorities or give me this one thing. Let me go. It’s your choice, son. Either way, you never have to see me again.”
I closed my eyes, my mind racing as a hot, prickly rash crawled over me. I opened my eyes to see him rushing away. With his passport in one hand and his suitcase trailing behind him, he vanished into the mass of travelers.
He was gone. I stood there. Motionless.
“Excuse me, sir.” A woman pushing a small boy in a stroller smiled at me. “Could you tell me where the information desk is?”
I pointed her to the desk.
The boy, reaching for his mother, gurgled happily as she leaned down and scooped him into her arms. He held out his rubber giraffe to me.
I gave a small smile before it slipped from his hand, falling to the floor.
I bent down and picked up the toy, ruffling his hair as I handed it back to him.
After she thanked me, they made their way toward the desk.
The love between them was tangible—everything I’d never had.
A sharp pain shot through my chest. With a heavy heart, I made my way outside.
***
Sliding into the back seat, I held my palm up, warding off Gus’s questions. He studied me knowingly, then sped away from the airport. A chill seeped through my body. Any energy I still had drained out of me, leaving me empty.
I leaned back, imagining what our family could have been. And never would be.
My head throbbed. I bit down on my lip, blinking back the tears.
I stared at the envelope Karlos had shoved into my hand before ripping it open and pulling out the neatly folded letter.
Karson,
I’m on my way to the airport. I won’t be back. After you read this you might understand.
When you were a boy, I sent you away for your own good. Being a good father wasn’t in the cards for me. And your mother… well, her two great loves in life are money and power. She didn’t want to look after a child, and I couldn’t trust myself to give you what you needed.
I winced.
Finally, the truth. Two parents who hadn’t wanted me. But he wasn’t telling me anything I hadn’t known since I was old enough to crawl. Resisting the urge to throw the letter out the window, my gaze returned to the page.
When I was a boy, I had a family. My mother, your grandmother Margaret, was a kind woman. When she took my hand in hers, I felt safe. And no matter how many questions I asked, she was always patient and loving.
Not long after I turned five, I woke up and couldn’t find her. My father wasn’t home that day, so I went next door to my friend Jimmy’s house.
He let me inside. The door to his father’s office was slightly open. Mother was there. Jimmy’s father was kissing her. She told Jimmy’s father that she couldn’t see him anymore and that if my father found out, he’d hurt them both. She was afraid and kept crying.
My stomach clenched. He’d mentioned nothing about my grandparents before. So it seemed my grandmother had fallen in love with the neighbor.
Why’s he telling me this now? I kept reading…
I wanted to make her feel better, so I called out to her. She stopped crying and hurried out of the office, wrapping me in a warm hug. We went home and played together for the rest of the day.
That night, she kissed me and put me to bed. The next morning she was gone. I never saw her again. My father told me she left because she didn’t love me anymore.
He wanted me to hate her, like he did. But I knew how scared she’d been of him. I knew it was him who made her disappear.
“What the hell?” I muttered, shaking my head from side to side.
Gus shot me a look in the mirror.
I’d heard pretty much zero about my grandparents, then I found out that my grandfather might have killed my grandmother.
This family is un-fucking believable.
A sick feeling spread from the center of my stomach as I dragged my attention back to the page.
He didn’t allow me to play with Jimmy or start school that year. He said he’d give me a proper education himself. I didn’t have any friends or go anywhere without him.
His idea of education was teaching me things a little boy should never learn. I became an expert in overcoming my conscience. He taught me how to win. How to lie. How to manipulate.
I tried not to become who he taught me to be. But it was too deep inside to root out. I knew if I were around you, I’d ruin you the way he ruined me. Keeping you as far away as possible meant you could become the person I could never be.
I swallowed back the hard lump forming in my throat and focused on the passing buildings outside the window, trying to clear my head.
It was my grandfather who’d turned my father into a monster. My grandfather was the reason I’d grown up the way I had. But I couldn’t blame him for my mother’s lack of warmth. I could have lived with one parent being cold. But two—that was a bad hand to be dealt.
Poor Margaret. No wonder she’d tried to find some form of happiness with the neighbor. Anger seethed inside of me, I sucked in a calming breath. Forcing myself, I looked back at the letter.
I know what it is to hate your father, Karson. But I don’t regret keeping you away so you could become the man you are.
Even though I paid a hefty price.
Karlos.
“Damn him!” I cried, punching my fist into the seat.
I shoved the letter back into the envelope and pushed it deep into my pocket.
Gus’s eyes rested on me briefly before shifting back to the road.
The first time that crazy prick ever opens up to me about anything… and he’s out of my life. Forever.
At least I knew he wasn’t born a monster… he’d become one. And I knew, better than ever, that I was nothing like him, or my grandfather.
As he’d hinted in that damn letter… distance was his greatest gift to me as a father.