Chapter 9 #2
But she did. She really, really did.
Fight it, Maya. Don’t show him.
“I want you to take a deep breath in and hold it for two. One. Two. That’s it. Listen to me. Now, let it out. One. Two. You’re doing such a good job for me.”
Look at her! She was doing such a good job!
She bounced up and down on her toes before she could stop herself.
“I can see that makes you happy,” he said quietly.
Oh shoot.
What was she doing?
You’re making an idiot of yourself. Again.
Opening her eyes, she tried to move away, but he still had her hand in his.
“Are you feeling better now?” he asked in his soothing voice.
Again.
Fireplace. Blanket. Marshmallows.
Urgh. It was infuriating. She didn’t want to feel this way about anyone. But it was worse when it was a man who she couldn’t even look at!
Irritation filled her. “Yes. You can let go.”
That was good. Irritation was pushing aside her desire and embarrassment.
“Maya, we’re going to have to get used to one another,” he told her. “We’re going to be very close for the foreseeable future. We will know each other well.”
“That’s why it won’t work!” Now her irritation was aimed at herself. But it had the same effect. Her words came out clearly. “I can’t look at you!”
“I know, sweetheart. It’s okay.”
She shook her head. It wasn’t. It was humiliating. What an idiot she was, and he must think that too. She waited for him to make fun of her, to make her feel about a foot tall. It’s what most people would do in her experience.
“If you can’t look at me while talking to me, then so be it. Not a big deal.”
Not a big deal?
Was he an actual person? He couldn’t really think that, right?
She risked a peek up to his chin. Oh no. It was so sexy too. He had a five o’clock shadow and it honestly made her legs turn into wet noodles.
“Maya? You okay?” He grasped hold of her arms as her legs gave way slightly.
“Uh-huh.”
“I don’t know. You’re cold and you nearly lost your footing. When was the last time you ate? Or slept?”
Oh.
Yeah.
Those things.
“Maya?” he prodded.
“Umm.”
“Right,” he said briskly. “I’m going to take that as too long ago. You’re coming with me.” He kept hold of one hand and started walking down the driveway.
And she followed along like an obedient little lamb.
Wait!
What was she doing?
She dug her heels into the driveway. Not that it did much. He barely slowed down.
Words, Maya!
“Stop! Wait!” she cried.
He did stop, but unfortunately, she hadn’t actually expected him to and she banged straight into him.
Ouch.
Also wow.
Yep. She was completely overusing that word.
But he was so hard and firm . . . was he hard and firm all over?
Oh Lord. Stop, Maya. Stop right now.
“Are you all right?”
Darn it. He asked her that a lot. Probably because she was acting like a crazy person.
“Yep,” she said hoarsely. “Urgh, no.”
“Well, which is it?” he asked, sounding amused rather than annoyed.
She wasn’t sure that was better, though.
A sigh escaped her. “Both.”
“Okay, is there anything I can do to make things better?”
There he went again. Why was he so perfect? It was infuriating.
Which she knew was a strange reaction. But in her experience most people weren’t like this. They weren’t kind and caring. Especially to people who they had only just met. And who, let’s be frank, were acting a bit crazy.
Nope. People like him just weren’t real. So was this an act? But why? She could understand if he’d acted like this in front of her father. Because he was the one paying him.
But she was no one. So why would he pretend to care about her now?
“Why are you being nice?” she asked his chest.
“Why am I being nice?” he repeated. He was sounding confused again.
She seemed to have that effect on him. She guessed it was a gift. One she should try to return.
She nodded. “Why?”
“Should I not be nice?” he asked.
Weirdly, he moved his hand to behind her neck. She tensed, waiting for him to grab her harshly, for him to hurt her. But he simply laid it there and it felt so lovely.
Warm and heavy, but in a good way. Like he was grounding her when she’d been trying to float away.
Sounded silly, she knew.
“It’s just . . . people . . . they aren’t always . . . nice.”
“Then those aren’t people you should be around. Because you deserve to have people treat you nicely.”
It was a lovely thing to say. However, she just wasn’t sure that it was the case.
“You don’t . . . know me. I might not be a good person,” she said quietly. Her shoulders hunched up. She wasn’t always a good person. Her protective barrier meant that sometimes she spoke without thought. She didn’t mean to be, though.
And she often beat herself up over it.
Unless she was talking to Vince or Kathryn or one of her horrid sons. Maya had long ago stopped beating herself up over her relationship with them. They didn’t deserve her regret or self-chastisement.
“I don’t have to know someone to know they’re a good person.”
“Really?” she asked skeptically.
“Uh-huh. It’s my superpower.”
It sounded so silly. And yet, if anyone had a superpower she really thought it would be Matthieu.
He seemed almost otherworldly.
“And you are a good person. You deserve to be treated well. So that’s what you’re going to get from me, understand?”
She wanted to believe in what he said. Desperately.
But she’d been let down in the past.
Although sometimes people really were as nice and awesome as they seemed. Look at Livvy.
“Just give me a chance to show you. Don’t push me away or try to put a barrier between us.
We’re going to have to learn to work together and a little trust will go a long way.
I know trust takes time and unfortunately, we might not have that.
So we’re gonna have to get to know each other quick. Okay?”
God.
His words scared her so much. But she found herself nodding because she desperately wanted to believe in him. More than she’d wanted to believe in anything in a long, long time.
“I’ll try.” It was all she could say.
“Good girl. Best thing you can do is try to talk to me. I get that’s hard. But the one thing you shouldn’t do is lie to me. If you’re scared or hurt or you need me. And you also shouldn’t break the rules.”
Rules? What rules?
“Don’t worry about that right now, though. We’ll go through them. Now, why did you want me to stop?”
Why had she wanted him to stop? Why would she ever want him to stop? She couldn’t remember.
Oh wait.
That’s right.
“My car.” She pointed at it.
“Yes?”
“I need to . . .” She managed to get her hands up in the air and mimed using a steering wheel.
Wait. Had she seriously just done that? She slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand.
Idiot.
“Whoa. Hey, stop that. No hitting yourself. That’s a rule. You are not allowed to harm yourself.”
Really? It was just a slap on her forehead. She’d had a lot worse. And she really had deserved it. Who started miming things instead of actually speaking?
Fools. That was who.
“And I happen to think it was cute the way you pretended to use a steering wheel.”
Wow. He was a good liar. She’d actually believed him for a moment. Of course, she couldn’t look him in the eyes so that probably made it easier for him to lie to her.
Hmm. She wished lying was her superpower. Or being able to tell when people were lying. Then she wouldn’t have bought those jeans last week after the sales lady told her that they made her butt look spectacular.
Huge.
They made her butt look huge.
There had to be some trick to that mirror in that store too, because she’d looked at least a whole size smaller.
And now she had a pair of jeans that she couldn’t wear and really couldn’t afford to replace.
“But you’re not driving your car in your condition,” he added.
Her condition?
What was he talking about?
Maybe he thinks you can’t drive because you can’t get your words out properly.
All right. She understood how he’d reached that conclusion. She’d have to convince him otherwise.
“I have a driver’s license.”
“That’s good. You’d be in a lot of trouble if you didn’t have one and you drove here.”
“With my father?” She guessed he wouldn’t be happy. Vince would likely use it as an excuse to arrest her.
“No, with me.”
Um. Okay.
What sort of trouble would she be in? She bit her lip against questioning him. Because she wasn’t sure that she really wanted to know.
And no, she did not just imagine him putting her over his knee. That was just a fantasy she had . . . something she thought about when she was spending some quality time with Richard.
It was not something that she actually wanted.
Right?
“Come on. I need to get out of here before those people start leaving.”
Oh. Good point. She did not need to see Vince again.
“But . . . my car!” She pointed at it as if that would help him understand what she was trying to say.
“Oh, you’re worried about leaving it here?”
She nodded in relief. He got it.
“Don’t be.” He tugged her toward a sleek looking black car. Was that a Dodge Viper?
Holy. Moly.
She’d always wanted to drive in a Viper. But it really didn’t fit into her lifestyle. Or her budget.
Which was why she had a really sensible station wagon. It wasn’t sexy. It wasn’t cute. It was incredibly boring and ugly if she was honest. But it was reliable, and she could fit a lot in it.
Especially if she put the backseat down.
But yeah, it was no Dodge Viper. She ran her hand down the side of it.
“Hot.”
“You like it?” Matthieu asked.
Maya nodded. Like? Like didn’t even come close.
“Come on. Get in.”
She turned to look at her station wagon. It should be safe here overnight. Theoretically.
But she didn’t trust Vince around anything she owned. And that station wagon was the key to her rescues. And her independence.
Plus, how would she get back here to pick it up? She had work tomorrow.
“Get in, Maya,” Matthieu told her, holding open the passenger side door.
Wow. He held doors open? He really was a gentleman. And she really, really wanted a ride in his car. But . . .
“Hey.” He reached out and placed his hand on the back of her neck again.
Maya closed her eyes, drawing in his warmth, his strength, his security.
It was an incredible feeling.
“I know we just met, but I’m here to take care of you.
And maybe all bodyguards aren’t like me, perhaps I’m doing this wrong, but I’m not just protecting your body.
I’m here to take care of you. That means if I see you’re not in a good state to drive because you’re exhausted and hungry and shaky, then I’m going to take care of things. Including you. Including your car.”
“People like you aren’t real.”
“I’m here, Maya. I’m very real.”
Lord help her.
It wouldn’t be a good idea to get used to the way he was treating her. Because if he was as amazing as he appeared to be . . . she might never be able to say goodbye to him.
Okay, you’re getting ahead of yourself.
This is a business arrangement. He is your bodyguard.
Not your boyfriend.
And even if he wasn’t your bodyguard there is no way that he’s in your league.
“So get in the car, Maya,” he told her.
All right. She shouldn’t trust him. But she really wanted to ride in his car.
Plus, everything was kind of looking fuzzy and she knew that was a sign that she shouldn’t be driving.
She slid into the passenger seat. Oh, she felt like she was melting into the leather seats.
Matthieu got into the driver’s side. “Seatbelt, Maya.”
Huh, what?
Oh, yeah.
She grabbed the seatbelt and tried to buckle it in. But for some reason her hand wasn’t working properly. Probably because she was trembling.
Shoot.
Matthieu’s hand went over hers and he buckled her in.
“Um, thanks.”
“When did you last eat?”
She ran her hand over her face. A low-grade headache was starting to develop. “I don’t know. I think I had coffee this morning.”
Surely she’d had coffee. She always had coffee. But she hadn’t been able to eat much lately, plus she also hadn’t gone shopping recently.
He shot her a look. “Right. You need to eat.”
Maya shook her head. “I’m fine.” Although, wait. Did she have to feed him? Because what did she even have at home? Maybe some rice and bread if she was lucky. A couple of potatoes. What the heck was she going to create with that?
Crap.
“How do you eat?” she managed to get out before he started up the car.
Oh. My. Goodness.
That felt amazing. The car practically purred and vibrated. She closed her eyes for a moment to take it all in. She wanted to remember this. She would likely never ride in a car this sexy again.
“You doing okay?” he asked.
She nodded without opening her eyes. How could he even ask that? Couldn’t he feel it too?
“Yep.”
“I eat like everyone else,” he told her as he started to drive.
Huh? Why was he talking gibberish? Why was he talking at all? He should just enjoy the ride.
“You like the car, I’m guessing.”
Urgh. He was talking again.
Relish the moment.
“Right. We’ll talk when we get to your house.”
That sounded good. She settled into the seat and the world around her faded away as she drifted off to sleep.