Chapter 20 #2
“Then why’d you run away? The family emergency excuse was flimsy to begin with, and now you’re not coming back?
Look…I want to go on dates with you. In public.
I want everyone to know how you make me feel but I need time.
I can’t just flip the entire script of my life overnight.
And it’s a little unfair for you to ask me to have all the solutions at once, because this is new for me too and—”
“Tweety, stop. I didn’t run away. I…came back for visiting hours with my dad.”
“Oh. Well…is he okay? Why did you say it was an emergency?”
“Because I didn’t want you to think less of me. Running home because Daddy demanded it. I don’t want you to think of me as a pushover. Charlie, nobody who knows my dad thinks I should have a relationship with him. I find myself hiding my loyalty sometimes, just to avoid a lecture.”
“Oh, Taio. He’s your dad. I can understand that. It’s normal to love your parents fiercely. It’s just hard when you grow up and suddenly you’re the one protecting them. Or at least, you’re protecting the version of them that you treasure the most.”
“Hmm,” I say, nestling deeper into my worn couch. “Are you talking about your mom?”
“Yeah. And I promise you this, Taio—if my mom were alive, the fact that I’m the product of an affair, or that she lied, or that she kept me away from my dad…
would melt away. If she were here, nobody could keep me from her.
I’d talk to her every day. I’d defend her against the world. We’re not really in control of it.”
“Right. Hardwired into our DNA or something?”
“Remember the night in New York, when you told me it was okay to be mad at my mom but I could still love her?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“You may have to take your own advice. It’s okay to be mad at your dad, Taio. It’s also okay to love him.”
I exhale into the phone, feeling a small smile form despite everything. “Listen to you, all wise and centered. When did we switch roles? I’m supposed to be the one with all the emotional clarity.”
“Well, that’s the power of a Mel Robbins audiobook on double speed. I can’t exactly make out what she’s saying at this rate, but the words subconsciously saturate, you know?”
A soft laugh escapes me. The line goes quiet after that, but there’s nothing awkward about it. Just a gentle calm between us. I close my eyes and focus on the sound of her breathing, steady and intimate across the miles, collapsing the distance for just a moment.
“What are you doing right now?” she finally asks.
“Staring at the wall trying to figure out my life.”
“That sounds productive.”
“Extremely. I’ve got the wall memorized now. Every crack, every scuff mark. We’re intimate.”
“Should I be jealous of this wall?”
“Absolutely. It’s a very attractive wall.”
Her laughter ripples through the phone, and the tightness in my chest finally uncoils. It’s like taking the first deep breath after being underwater too long.
“So how come you can’t come back?”
“Just delayed. I’m coming back to you. I promise.”
She hums into the phone. “Say that again.”
“I’m coming back to you. I promise,” I repeat obediently, making each word deliberate and weighted. Each syllable feels like a vow, like something I can anchor myself to in all this uncertainty.
“Good. Then why are you delayed?”
“There’s new evidence that might help my dad’s case. Rina found it and forwarded it to his legal team. Now they want to meet with me tomorrow to discuss next steps.”
“That’s good, right? New evidence?”
“I guess.” I stare at the ceiling, trying to find the words. “The evidence suggests the guy who testified against my dad might have falsified some of his analysis. Which means there could be grounds for appeal. Maybe a new trial.”
“Taio, that’s huge.”
“I know.”
“So why do you sound like someone just told you your dog died?”
Because Rina thinks he deserves to stay in prison. Because part of me agrees with her. Because I don’t know if I want my father free or if I just feel like I should want it.
“I don’t know how to feel about it,” I admit. “I mean, am I his son or his enabler?”
Charlie is quiet for a moment. I hear rustling, like she’s settling deeper into her plush bed.
“Tell me what you’re actually feeling,” she presses. “Not what you think you should feel. What’s actually going on in your head?”
So I spill it all out like water through a broken dam.
How Rina dug up dirt on Wright that could blow the case wide open.
How the appeal might actually happen now.
Then my voice drops lower as I admit the rest—how Rina thinks Dad deserves every minute behind those bars, how sometimes I catch myself wondering if she’s right.
The knot in my stomach when I think about sitting through another trial, watching those families glare at me from across the courtroom.
The way I hate myself for not being the loyal son I should be, for feeling so damn tired of carrying his mistakes on my back.
Charlie listens without interrupting, which is unusual for her. When I finally run out of words, she’s quiet for a long moment.
“Wow,” she says finally. “That’s…a relief.”
“What?”
“I mean I felt like our emotional baggage was pretty mismatched in this relationship. But you just laid a lot of cards on the table. It’s good. Now, I’m not just a taker. See? That’s a lot of heavy stuff, Taio. Now I can be here for you too.”
“This relationship, huh? And how would you define our relationship?”
“Budding,” she says. “Hopefully.”
“Oh, I think we’re definitely budding.” The relief of confession gives way to a different kind of tension. I picture Charlie in my apartment, wrapped in nothing but my stolen shirt, and suddenly the miles between us feel like a physical ache. My fingers twitch with the memory of her skin.
“So, tell me, are you in a Tweety shirt, or in that sexy black lingerie?”
“You know the answer to that, Taio.”
“Tweety shirt. Got it.”
“Actually, Elmer Fudd tonight.”
“For shame, Charlie. Wearing another man while I’m over here missing you? Bad girl.”
“I’ll make it up to you when you come back. I’m not letting you out of my sight for at least a week. Just so you know. You’re going to be so sick of me.”
“Impossible.”
“We’ll see.” She chuckles.
“How about you make it up to me right now?”
The question catches her off guard. “What? How?”
“Are you alone?” My voice drops, taking on a playful edge.
“Yes,” she answers hesitantly.
“Where are you?”
“In the blanket fort,” she admits. “I live here now. I have a forwarding address if you’re interested.”
“Cute,” I say.
“I’m going to be sad when housekeeping rips it down. We head to Tampa tomorrow night.”
“I’ll build you a fort everywhere we go. I promise.”
Silence.
“Charlie, you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here. I’m just swooning.”
I laugh lightly. “Well, take your time, I’ll be here.”
“Taio?”
“Yeah?”
“I really like you.” Her voice has gone soft, almost fragile. “In a way I feel like I’m not in control of. You’ve been in love before. Does it feel overwhelming all the time?”
“Overwhelming?”
“We haven’t known each other long. Why can’t I remember a time when I wasn’t thinking about you?”
“What do you think about?”
She laughs. “Nonsense. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want to tell you.”
“Well, in that case, definitely tell me.”
“You first,” she commands. “Secret for a secret, right? Better make it juicy if you really want to know what I think about when it comes to you.”
I breathe into the phone, nervous about what she’ll inevitably pull out of me. “What secret do you want to know?”
“Have you ever fallen for a client before? Has sex ever turned into feelings for you?”
“Charlie…there’s no good way to answer that question.”
“How about with the truth?” she challenges.
“I’ve only fallen in love once, so no, in that regard, I’ve never fallen for a client. But there’s always feelings when it comes to sex. Sometimes those feelings are friendship, protectiveness, or plain curiosity. But when you have sex…you should feel something. It bothers you, doesn’t it?”
“I’m not jealous of your clients, Taio,” Charlie says. “I’m a little jealous of Alaina.”
“Why?” I ask thickly. As if I don’t know.
“Because I know she was your first love…your first everything. I know she hurt you but she’ll always have that spot in your heart. The way you’ll always have a spot in mine.”
I know we didn’t go all the way, but in Charlie’s mind, we’ve already shared something so sacred and intimate. It was a big deal. I should’ve stayed that night. Instead, I ran home when my dad insisted. Fuck. Things need to change. One scary admission at a time.
“You might not be my first, Charlie, but I have a feeling you’re something much bigger.
” She could be the last woman I ever love.
But that’s not something you say over the phone.
Instead, I let myself sink into the unfamiliar warmth spreading through my chest—this feeling I thought I’d never have again.
For once, the weight of my past feels lighter than the pull of my future.
For once, I have something I’m not willing to lose.
“Now, your turn. What do you think about when it comes to me?”
“I think maybe my mom wasn’t totally full of shit.”
I laugh at her crassness. “What?”
“Love seems…worth waiting for. That’s all. But I’m not saying anything else because I would surely scare you away.”
“Doubt it. Try me…”
But she holds something back, guarding her heart with the careful restraint of someone who’s read one too many articles about scaring men away with too much honesty too soon. “Black Cat sneezed and scared himself so badly he fell off the couch. It was comedic gold and you missed it.”
“I’m devastated.”
“You should be. It was a top-ten cat moment.” A pause. “He misses you too, by the way. He keeps sitting in your spot in the fort and staring at the door like he’s waiting for you.”
“Tell him I’ll be back soon.”