Chapter 27
Liv
Three weeks had never seemed so long. I really didn’t know how I’d gone fifteen years when three weeks were akin to having the cords of my heart stretched over the miles that separated me from Hudson.
I’d taken the time to learn about myself.
To dig under the facade I wore and find the person below.
And what I’d found was that I liked her more than the woman who did things others expected her to, who acted like she didn’t care, who remained aloof and vain to keep people from seeing that beneath it all she was lonely and scared of being hurt again.
There were parts of my life here that I still loved.
The shopping, the city lights, the pace.
My morning coffee and afternoon salad, room service, and of course my regular manicures.
But there were others I discovered I had never really liked—the noise, the invisibility, the loneliness.
The coldness. I missed the diner, the shops where the owners knew my name not because they might lose my sale and they wanted my money, but because they cared.
I missed the open land, the mountains, the fresh air, and the horses.
But most of all, I missed the man who made me feel alive.
It was his voice in the back of my head that had me turning Paula, our secretary, down on her offer to order me lunch on my first day back.
That drove me to leave the building and get it myself.
To eat at a restaurant with only my phone and a book.
To embrace the solitude that I’d run from with wine and the noise of the city.
To cook a meal for the first time ever in my suite…
one I burned so badly my place stunk for days, but one I had cooked by myself.
I missed Hudson, but this time it wasn’t the safety I missed, it was everything he encouraged me to be. Me. The free spirit, the artist, the woman who loved to speed across the ranch on horseback and laughed when she won the race.
I had sent him the journal, hoping he understood why I hadn’t reached out yet.
That he would know I was working on myself so I would no longer be afraid to let him love me.
I’d filled another journal with memories from childhood and an entire sketchbook with sketches of the ranch that I’d pulled from my mind but those I kept, waiting until I had things in place to show him.
Because those I wanted to share in person when I arrived at his door in three days with the plans for the renovations to the ranch and the start dates.
Everything was in place. The crew would start the following week, and Gabe and Tori had booked tickets to their first horse auction, an event I was hoping Hudson would attend with me in tow.
“Hey,” Gabe said, knocking on my office door.
“Hey, I was just getting ready to come see you. I have the final pieces all set for the ranch and wanted to review them with you.”
“Don’t worry about it. This is your project. Whatever you and Hudson want to do, I’ve got your back.”
I sat back in my chair, giving him a smile, something I was doing more often and had found I actually liked unless I was staring an arrogant male business owner down who assumed I was a woman and wasn’t lethal.
“So, Tori and I were talking, and we think your idea needs to be tweaked.”
“How so? I figured in enough time to ensure I’m here on a regular basis.”
He took a seat, leaning forward with his hands clasped. “The ranch is an extensive project. One that will need you to be hands-on. Why not establish a base in Montana? You can lead a team there instead of having to travel back and forth like you proposed.”
My forehead furrowed as I contemplated his words. My plan was to live on the ranch and commute once a week to New York, keeping my suite as my base for the days I’d need to be here or any time Hudson wanted to come with me to visit his brother.
I wrung my hands as excitement tingled through me. I was antsy to get back to him. To tell him I was no longer afraid and that we could make this work because it was worth fighting for.
“Gabe, I need to be here.”
“I know, but think about it. We could expand our real estate holdings to the west, maybe even change it up and add more ranches to our portfolio. Buying up the ones that developers are ready to bulldoze for cookie-cutter, quick-build developments.” He rubbed the back of his neck, taking on that serious expression that told me he was three steps ahead of this idea and he’d thought through every possible aspect. “Do some good with our money.”
“We do good with it. Just last night you made me attend that charity ball, or did you forget?”
“You love those things.”
But not this time. It only reminded me how lonely I was and how bland my life had been before Hudson came back into it.
“I’m just saying we donate all the time.”
“Yeah, but we could actually see what our money was doing with this project. And it would allow you to spend more time in Montana, without as much travel.”
“You trying to get rid of me?” I asked.
“No,” he replied with a chuckle. “I’d miss you, so would Tori and Reid.”
I let out a sigh, looking around the office that had been my home since I’d earned my way to the position my father had always dangled in my face. Leaving New York part-time had been a tough decision, but leaving it permanently…could I do that? I thought about Hudson and how happy I was with him.
“Let me think about it. Maybe let me get back to Montana first and see if he’ll even want me back after I left him again.”
“He will. You said you left it open. That it wasn’t really goodbye.” He rose, smoothing out his jacket.
Was that what I’d done? I could only hope that’s how he’d seen it. As a temporary break while I got my shit together.
My phone buzzed, and I peeked down to see that it was Bruce, the front desk guard.
“Take it. I’ve got to make a quick call before Tori and I head out early. You sure you don’t want to go to Connecticut with us?”
“Four days with your in-laws is enough to make my smile disappear, and I just started enjoying it.”
His laugh trailed him out of the office as I answered my phone.
“Miss Icinda, there’s a gentleman here to see you.”
“And?” My tone was sharp. Just because I was working on my demeanor didn’t mean I always needed to be nice.
“What should I tell him?”
“Does he have a name? Should I know who he is, or am I reading minds now?” It was still satisfying to be nasty sometimes. I’d bring him coffee in the morning to make up for it. Geez, who had I turned into?
“He won’t give it to me. Says it’s important though.”
I rubbed my temple, thinking of the handsy guy from the charity event.
The one I’d made the mistake of breaking my rule of not dipping in that pool and hooked up with seven months ago.
He’d shown up in the lobby two days later looking to take me out to dinner.
I’d had him removed that day, and at last night’s event, I informed him he needed to remove his hand from my hip before I sued him for everything he was worth.
He seemed the stalker type, and if he was down there, thinking I’d reconsidered, he would pay.
“Tell him to go away.”
“Yes, Miss Icinda.”
I disconnected and turned to my laptop, going through my plans once more. The number of days I’d have to travel, what kinds of meetings I could run remotely, if the Wi-Fi at Hudson’s was strong enough. Gabe’s offer snuck into my thoughts, derailing me just as the phone rang again.
“Bruce, please tell me you had the balls to remove the guy from the lobby.”
“He’s insistent. Says it’ll be worth your time to see him.”
“I’m not letting some stranger up to my office. Grow a pair and do your job.”
Concentrating now was going to be a problem.
It already was with Hudson occupying my every thought.
There was no way to leave the office early, though.
Not with that man still in the lobby. He’d corner me, and it would get ugly when I pulled the power play and ensured his company didn’t see a profit for the next ten years.
The phone rang again, Bruce’s name flashing, and I lost my calm. I stood and stormed out of the office, ready to fire him and put the stalker in his place. My heels slashed the marble floor with aggravated thumps that continued as I tapped my foot on the elevator ride down.
I stalked to the desk, saying, “I’m not sure why we pay you so much, Bruce, when I have to do your job for you. Where is the creep?”
He pointed behind me, and I turned, my hand flying to the counter to stabilize myself when Hudson’s narrowed eyes met mine.
“I was expecting a reaction, but creep is a little extreme,” he said, sight unwavering.
My throat contracted as I tried to find my breath.
“Hudson, I…” Words scattered because seeing him left my brain a mangled mess.
He looked so different, handsome and sexy, but without the usual ruggedness.
He wore a suit under a long wool coat, the black bringing out the golden hues of his hair. “I thought you were someone else.”
“Another man?” Creases formed around his eyes, hurt slashing them.
“Some creep who hit on me last night and has a habit of showing up uninvited.”
There was a tick in his jaw as his expression went rigid. “Can we talk?”
I nodded.
“After you apologize for treating Bruce so poorly.” He crossed his arms, his muscles pushing against his sleeves.
I squared my jaw, staring back at him. All the plans I’d had, the thought of surprising him at the ranch, of being calm and collected, showing him I was ready to let my walls down, slipped away.
“This is the way I am.” A weak attempt to defend myself, and one he questioned with the raise of his brow.
It had been an excuse that harkened back to before I’d gone to Montana and found there was more to me.
I turned to Bruce. “Thank you for doing such a good job. I appreciate it, and coffee is on me tomorrow.”
He stared at me as if I’d grown another head. This nice thing was going to take time.
“Um, okay. Thank you, Miss Icinda.”