Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
KEATON
M om didn’t like to plan. She lived by the moment. Up until she had two strokes and lost her mind.
I don’t think she was living her life fully. She avoided reality and transported herself to a place where she could do anything she wanted without ever worrying about the consequences.
Mom lived in a fantasy world.
Dad got tired of what he called her personality and left us. I understand why he left her, but I didn’t understand why he never took me with him. He never cared to check if I was okay.
It wasn’t until I was thirteen and social services needed a place to drop me off that I saw him again. He had a new family. Afraid that I’d be a bad influence on his new, innocent children, he declined taking me but convinced his mother to open the doors to her house for me.
“It’s only temporary, until her mother gets better,” he said.
Knowing that I was a burden, I tried not to be an inconvenience to her.
I also searched for Mom’s aunt, Alyssa. She helped her when we were in trouble—always.
She didn’t have a problem taking me in when I showed up at her doorstep.
My father never looked for me. He didn’t bother to check if I was dead or alive.
Aunt Alyssa was an angel who took me in and helped me become the person I am today. I was twenty when she died of old age. It’s been twelve years and I still miss her so much. She’s the only person who ever cared about me.
It was during her funeral that I saw my mother again. She had a six-year-old daughter and a husband, Murray. He was a good man and I prayed that he wouldn’t leave Mom, but if he had to, I hoped he’d take my little sister with him.
I made it my mission to stay close to them, in case Murray left and Savannah faced the same fate as I did. Sadly, he died when Savvy was eleven. I was glad I had stayed in San Francisco, even when that meant declining some good job offers in other states.
Spearman LP has been good to me since the beginning.
They’ve allowed me to grow and given me many opportunities, like finishing my master’s degree. When I was twenty-eight, I was able to work for a year in the UK offices. Now, there’s a new job opportunity to start a new life. There are many uncertainties, still I’m excited about the possibilities.
My only worry is Savannah. I don’t know what’s going to happen to her if she doesn’t come with me. She might lose herself the way Mom did.
Caring for others when they don’t want to be cared for is a hard task.
All night I wait for Savannah to come home. She never does. It’s six o’clock in the morning when I decide to get ready for work. I take a cold shower. Luckily, since my sister isn’t home, I have plenty of time to do my hair and makeup.
When I get out of the bathroom, I see her coming upstairs. My shoulders relax, I can breathe again.
“Where did you spend the night?” I’m aware it’s a stupid question, but it sounds a lot better than, ‘Why did you spend the night with him? I forbid you to date a guy like Lex. Does he even have a last name?’
I doubt she understands the difference between a Lex and a non-toxic man.
My knowledge is extensive, since Mom dated men like him after my father left her.
Savannah is lucky to have had a dad like Murray.
Up until he died, she didn’t have to hide, hoping the men her mother dated wouldn’t do anything to her while she was passed out somewhere in the apartment.
I remember those men well. They were scary, and like my mother, they loved to party.
I’m not saying that Savannah is like my mother, but what if she falls in with the wrong crowd?
We should go to a therapist. I can ask for advice on how to talk to my younger sister about her future and our mother without sounding judgmental. She can discuss the loss of her mother and probably her father.
I don’t want to say, ‘If you’re not careful you’ll end up like Carey.’
But how else can I talk to her? If I censor an eighteen-year-old, she might just pack her things and move in with Lex. According to what Aunt Alyssa told me all those years ago, that’s why Mom left her house when she was young.
“I left you a message.” Her whiny tone feels like a drill in my head.
“Some days, I want to cover you up with bubble wrap, stuff you in an unbreakable box, and put you in a place where guys like Lex can’t hurt you.”
She glares at me. “You don’t know him.”
Okay, I should’ve generalized instead of saying his name.
“Sorry, but I know guys like him.”
“Just because you dated losers, doesn’t mean I’ll make the same mistakes.”
How I wish to tell her that she’s wrong, but unfortunately, my track record puts me at a disadvantage.
I dated several losers. However, I didn’t mean the idiots who can’t commit to me.
I was referring to the assholes my mother used to date, starting with my father and ending with whoever she fucked before the first stroke.
He left her in a hotel without medical attention.
“Well, not all of them,” she says, smirking. “The hot guy from yesterday seems like a solid choice.” She claps. “Bravo, Keaton.”
Argh, what am I supposed to say to that? “He’s a solid choice?” I stare at her confused.
She shrugs one shoulder. “Well, he came to solve all our problems. The question is, why didn’t you ask him before?
” She narrows her gaze. “Is he like your sugar daddy or something? Are you pimping yourself? I’m not judging.
Mom did it a few times when things were hard.
Honestly, I just want to know how much it pays. ”
I’m not surprised to hear that Carey behaved like that in front of her.
Why social services allowed her to keep Savannah is beyond me.
Then again, it was hard to tell when she was drunk or high.
If it wasn’t for the guy she was dating at the time, who knows what could’ve happened to me.
He’s the one who realized I had been taking care of my mother since the age of six, when my father left.
Is this what I’m doing? Finding a rich man to solve my problems? No. I didn’t ask for help. He offered it when I was in trouble and I’m going to repay him.
“You’re insulting me.”
She rolls her eyes. “Sheesh, relax. It’s a joke.
Anyone can totally see that you two are in love, and you obviously haven’t had sex, or you’d be less tense.
You should try it. Am I upset because you haven’t introduced him?
Yes, but I’m glad that you’re finally dating again. How serious is this relationship?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Is he married? He just wants to have a good time or…?” The incredulity in her tone suggests there’s something she’s not buying about us.
I sigh while trying to figure out how to explain this to her without lying much. Aunt Alyssa used to say a lie is a lie no matter the size, but is it?
“He’s my boss.”
She grins. “Scandalous. I like it. Is there some rule at work that you can’t date?”
“There’s a non-fraternization policy in place. We have to let human resources know about our…”
“That you’re fucking?”
I wave my hand. “Sure, let’s go with that.”
“He’s hot. You should be riding that.”
“Savannah!”
“What? I’m eighteen. In case you’re wondering, I’m not a virgin.”
Oh, I know, and that’s why I keep shoving condoms inside her purse all the time. The last thing we need is little Lexes populating this planet. I don’t know how to move this conversation forward. Thankfully, she’s the one who breaks the silence. “Can I ask you something?”
“Y-yeah?”
“When you come home late, it’s because you’re with him and not working, isn’t it?”
“We’re working,” I assure her, instead of explaining to her that since we can’t afford cable or wi-fi, I stay late working in my office.
“So, you’re not doing him because he has a bunch of money,” she repeats.
“Not at all. I’m with him because I like him. He’s thoughtful and funny when he has his guard down. He’s smart, creative, and he’s loving. His biggest asset isn’t his money but his heart.”
“Wow.”
“Wow?” Did I sound too cheesy? I should work on my wording.
There has to be some middle ground between sounding lovestruck and just liking the man.
If she didn’t have to go to Hawaii, I would tell her the truth.
I would even ask her to give me some feedback.
She has to believe that we’re together, just like the rest.
I look away, trying to think how to save this when she says, “You’re in love.”
My lips stretch into a big smile. Okay, I’m convincing her. “Which is why I’m with him,” I reassure her. “So, here’s the thing…”
“Is this the part where you tell me that something is fucked up and you’re going to leave me too?” She shrugs. “Leave, it’s not like I need you.”
“No. I would never do that. However, things with Aslan are getting serious, and his family invited us to Hawaii.”
She crosses her arms. “I don’t want to go to Hawaii.”
Startled, I stare at her for a couple of seconds before saying, “I don’t care. We have to go.”
Is she for real? I’m offering to take her on vacation and she’s refusing?
“How so?” Lord, why does she have to be so confrontational? I guess that’s one quality that we share. We’re stubborn.
“His family is pretty close. They’re having a reunion, and they invited us. I can’t just turn it down.”
“That’s not an explanation. If you think I’m going to play happy family with you, you’re way off. I won’t. Try making something up, like I’m sick, I have to work, or I have tests.”
“You don’t have school. I thought you said you were fired, and you’re healthy.”
“Well, I’m not going.”
Why can’t she be easy? “Savvy, it’s Hawaii. Anyone would love to go. You’ll be missing a fun trip.”
“I’ve never been there. I wouldn't know what I’m missing.”
“Me neither, and I don’t want you to regret it when I’m back with an awesome tan and pictures of my trip. Actually, I’ll post them on social media so you can see them.”
She stares at me for a few seconds, then gives me a defiant look. I think I found her Achilles heel. “Fine, but you’ll have to buy me a new swimsuit.”
“Oh, no worries. I’ll have that set up for you.”
She’s going with Dawn Spearman. Good luck with that, little sister.