Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
ELLIOT
T he Spearman Foundation is something I would’ve loved to create after Dad died. He was a good man, the best. Unfortunately, he left us heartbroken and with a lot of debt. The day he was killed, I had to grow up fast and figure out how to help Mom.
I did, but while doing so, I broke one too many rules and the heart of the girl I loved.
When I met Fern Spearman at the coffee shop, searching for an architect or a contractor who could help her with her new project, I thought it was the best opportunity to do something good. Not only for the families who need affordable housing but for my father.
He’s the one who taught me everything I know about construction.
We could’ve used a community like the one Fern is building.
For years, I lived with the fear that we would lose the house.
We didn’t lose it. I made sure of that. However, the things I had to do to keep it broke my spirit in ways I had never imagined possible.
Of course, after Dad’s death, I learned a lot more. Working for a contractor was one of the ways I provided for my family.
Growing up fast taught me not to get attached to anything or anyone—that might be one of the biggest reasons my marriage failed.
I separated myself from everyone but my best friends.
They were struggling emotionally and financially, just like me.
We worked in the same places. Together, we got through the toughest times of our lives.
Twenty-six years later, I’m still detached from almost everything and everyone—even those best friends. So how is it that I keep avoiding feelings, entanglements, and messy relationships, and this time I’m having trouble saying goodbye?
The tension in my gut increases as I approach Fern’s office. Leaving has never been a problem for me—until now.
Somehow, I grew slightly affixed to this place. It might be the fact that building is like a second language to me, the only love I have left. The foundation has plenty of work to last me a lifetime, and it’s not about getting rich but helping others. It’d be easy to stick around.
Of course, it doesn’t help that Fern is an attractive woman whose company I enjoy. My dick and my body don’t understand that she’s off-limits, and it’s getting harder and harder to ignore the attraction.
The longing.
Instead of saying goodbye, I should fire up a text and just leave town.
Now. I’m afraid that one day I’ll lose my mind, my self-control, and the only piece I have left of my shattered soul too.
I’ll just push her against the wall and kiss her.
Devour her like a starving man about to have his last meal before he ceases to exist.
We’ll rip off each other’s clothes, and I’ll fuck her senseless.
We’ll disappear from this world, become one, and when we’re back from the high…
What will happen?
I don’t want to figure that out, and so I need to leave. If not today, as soon as possible.
Swallowing hard, I knock on the door.
“It’s open,” Fern’s sweet voice answers.
“Hi,” I say, pushing the door open.
She’s on her couch, staring at her laptop intently. Almost as if she’s playing chess and she’s ready to make the next move so she can win.
“Am I interrupting you?”
She turns to look at me. Her playful gray-blue eyes are almost smiling, unlike her. She tries to contain her feelings, but her eyes betray her. I don’t think she’s aware of it though. “Hi there. How can I help you?”
Make the ache go away?
I don’t even know which ache I refer to. My soul, my heart, my dick… probably all of them. And why would I want her to do so? I don’t understand my attraction to Fern and what’s going through my head. More now than ever, I should just jet off.
“So, the last houses should be ready in a couple of months. The first stage is almost complete. North Bay will be helping you with the furniture.”
She claps a few times excitedly. “You always bring the best news ever. Thank you so much for helping us during the first phase. I’ve talked to a few of my cousins, and they’re searching for lots in other states.
Maybe we can expand the program. Did North Bay tell you anything about the building?
Do you think they can help other communities?
Are they going to stop after the first stage? ”
“North Bay will work with you for as long as you need them. I don’t know if they can help you outside of the state, but that’s something you can discuss with them later.”
“Or you can always take over the entire project. Come and work for us. I’ll pay you,” she suggests, and I consider it for a hot second.
No, McPhee. You have to go. Leave now before you do something you’ll regret for the rest of your life. This is a perfect wave, a beautiful barreling wave that will pull you down and finish you for good.
After taking a long, deep breath, I say, “The building in Sacramento will take longer.”
“We should’ve just rehabilitated it,” she says, almost pouting.
“It wasn’t safe, trust me. I know demolishing and starting a new one seems like a waste of time and material, but you have to think about the people who’ll live there.”
“I trust you.” She smiles sweetly. “You’re a godsend.”
“No, I’m not. I call it being at the right place at the right time.”
“Well, then what about the?—”
“Hold that thought,” I interrupt her because she’s about to circle back to her job proposition.
I shouldn’t mind accepting it because, of all the places I’ve worked at for the past few years, I like this one the best. Plus, it gave me something. A sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, maybe even belonging—but I don’t want to belong.
“As I told you when we first met, I travel a lot. My schedule is unpredictable, and it’s time for me to leave San Francisco.”
The disappointment in her eyes tightens my chest. “Oh. So, you won’t be staying for the gala either?”
And look at her wearing another classy dress fitting her curves perfectly and making me salivate?
No.
I did that already during her brother’s wedding. Not only that, but I hated how most men looked at her, wanting to drag her to their beds and own her.
I stare at her lips, wishing I could run my tongue along them. It’s hard to fight my need to get close to her. There are a lot of reasons why we can’t and shouldn’t be together. She’s too young, the sister of my friends, and I don’t want to taste what I’ll never have.
“It’s the least you can do before you leave us,” she says with that raspy yet sweet voice of hers that sends trembles to the back of my spine and increases my desire for her. It should be illegal. “Attend the gala. One last hurrah before the party is over.”
One night, what can go wrong? “When is it?”
She smiles, handing me an envelope. “That’s your invitation. It’s this Saturday. I was just looking at the seating chart. By the way, Lysander told me that if you need to borrow a tuxedo, Aslan has plenty.”
When I look at the invitation, there’s a ticket. No price or… “Should I buy a ticket at the door? I thought people bought tables at these events,” I say, ignoring the tuxedo comment. I can get one myself.
Maybe I should tell her who I am. She’s not like the gold diggers I came across years ago who only cared to be with me because of my bank account. There’s never a good time to tell her that I own North Bay or that… will she judge me if she knows about my past?
I should talk to Blake and tell him to buy a table under the name of North Bay. He can make the executives go and force them to donate to the foundation. But will it be weird if I sit with them?
“Do I get to pick where I’m sitting?”
“No.” And that mischievous grin makes my body relaxed but needy, which happens when her eyes shine playfully.
And my brain takes another detour. Her lips almost urge me to pin her down and kiss her long and hard. Against common sense, I want to drink her in and fuck her until we become liquid.
Two bodies merged with heat and lust.
Stop it, McPhee.
I have to head somewhere. The gym, a shower, maybe the ocean. I could head to Santa Cruz to surf. I haven’t had the need to do it in a long time, but I know that’ll calm me the fuck down.
After taking a long breath, I say, “As long as you don’t put me at the children’s table, I’ll be there.”
She laughs. “You’re stuck with my siblings, though. Well, not all of them. The Portland Orcas bought three tables, and that’s where Caspian is sitting.”
“It’s weird that you’re bringing the Orcas to San Francisco. We love the Sharks .”
She quirks an eyebrow. “I thought you said you didn’t have a preference. You seem very supportive when you go to Cas’s games.”
“I am, but what about the rest of the city?”
She waves a hand. “That’s silly. In any case, are you staying for it? Although it’s a way to raise funds for the foundation and some specific projects, it’s also a way to thank our volunteers.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Thank you for everything you did for us. If there’s anything we can do for you, a recommendation for a job, or…” She shrugs. “Anything. We owe you.”
“You don’t owe me anything. You’ve done a lot for me.”
She scoffs. “Me? Other than asking you for favors, I doubt I did anything for you.”
But she did, and I doubt she’d understand. Not that I plan on explaining anything to her. I wink at her. “Believe me, you did. I’ll see you on Saturday.”
You shouldn’t McPhee. You’ve been here for too long. What will happen the next time the two of you are alone?