Chapter 22 Laurie
Laurie
“Can’t catch me!” Mia turned and sprinted away with Mahina’s granddaughters in pursuit.
Laurie smiled, watching them. Mia had blossomed so much just in the past few weeks. She was more open, more confident.
Even so, there was a bittersweet feeling in her chest.
Today was another visitation day.
Chris was driving down this time.
He’d asked for their new address, since Mia had told them about their new home on her last visit, but Laurie had refused.
He’d sent a number of texts and two long voicemails about how unreasonable she was being.
One was laced with cursewords; the other was more conciliatory. They only strengthened her resolve.
Mia’s first couple of visits had been uneventful. Getting her back on time and unharmed had soothed Laurie’s fears, but it still wasn’t easy – especially when Mia said that she didn’t want to go.
It went against Laurie’s every instinct to tell her daughter that she didn’t have a choice, but that was the way it was. The specter of parental alienation hung over them like a tangible threat.
If she was to have any hope of a positive outcome – either with a mediator or before a judge – she had to make it very clear that she wasn’t trying to keep Mia from her father.
He’s not a monster, she reminded herself when she started to spiral. He can keep his cool for a few hours at the zoo. Nothing bad is going to happen.
She clung to those words like a mantra, repeating them over and over.
Nothing bad is going to happen.
When Halia pulled up to the Madeira property, Laurie waved Mia over.
It’s time to go, she told her.
“Five more minutes,” Mia shouted.
No, she signed firmly. Sorry.
Mia sighed and said something to her friends. Then she trudged across the lawn, dragging her feet all the way.
Mahina was out front, trying to convince Halia to come through for a bite to eat.
“I can’t today,” Halia said. “Maybe next time.”
Hi Auntie, Mia signed.
“Hello, Mia. Ready to go to the zoo?”
Mia wrinkled her nose and shrugged. “I guess.”
“Thank you for this.” Laurie stepped forward and hugged her sister tightly. “You’re a lifesaver.”
“Whatever you need,” Halia said once she’d released her. “I’ve got your back.”
“Thank you,” she said again. “I appreciate you.”
Halia squeezed her shoulder and then opened the car door for Mia.
“Have fun at the zoo,” Laurie said, giving her a quick hug.
Mia put her arms around her mom’s waist and held tight.
“Go on,” she said after a while. She felt Mia sigh.
Finally she let go and signed, See you later.
“Have fun,” she said again.
Mia crawled into the back seat and pulled the door shut behind her.
I love you, Laurie signed as they drove away.
She stood at the edge of the street, feeling bereft.
Kekoa came to stand next to her.
You hungry? he asked when she glanced his way.
She shook her head and smiled.
What?
“You already know as much ASL as half of my family,” she said and signed.
I don’t think so. What would be a full sentence in English was conveyed differently in ASL; Kekoa paired the sign for think with a doubtful expression and a slight shake of his head.
Laurie laughed. “You’re a natural.”
“And you didn’t answer my question.”
“What question?”
“Are you hungry?” he asked, repeating the signs.
“Right. Sorry. I’m just…” She looked down the road after Halia’s car. “Scattered. I don’t like being away from my kid. And I’m never really hungry anymore.”
Kekoa put his hands on her shoulders and gently steered her back onto the property.
If any other man had done that – with the exception of her late father, or maybe Kekoa’s dad – she would have immediately frozen or stepped away. But she didn’t feel threatened by Kekoa.
As soon as she started walking towards Mahina’s house of her own accord, he let go.
“Family get-together?” she asked. People were coming and going from the house. Some she recognized, some she didn’t.
“Just a normal weekend,” he said. She craned her neck to see what he was saying. “My sister and her family. Our cousin Lani and her family. Some other friends and family. Neighbors coming and going. You know how it goes.”
Laurie veered right and walked around the house instead of into it. Kekoa jogged around in front of her and walked backwards.
“You’re family too,” he said and signed. “Come inside, have something to eat.”
She shook her head and grimaced apologetically. Too many people.
OK, he signed. “I’ll get you a plate.”
Before she could argue, he was striding up the back steps. She hesitated for a moment, half wanting to follow him, half wanting to call out and tell him that she didn’t need any food. In the end, she just turned and continued back to the ‘ohana.
She sat on the little lanai and admired the garden, trying to let the peace of it calm her nerves.
Green-and-gold saffron finches were scattered across the dark brown mulch of the ground. Everywhere she looked, there was a different color of flower.
Kekoa was back a few minutes later with a huge plate of food and two glasses of hibiscus tea. He set everything on the small table next to her and gestured to the other chair.
Can I?
How can I say no when you ask in ASL? she quipped.
I understand! He smiled, looking delighted with himself. It was such an adorably innocent expression that she had to laugh.
“I’ve never seen anyone pick it up so fast,” she said and signed.
“Careful.” He pulled the chair away and turned it towards her. “If you keep telling me that, I’ll get a big head.”
“You already have a big everything.”
Kekoa grinned, and blood rushed to her cheeks.
“I didn’t mean– You don’t– I mean that you’re tall,” she babbled, flustered. He laughed, and she swatted his arm. “Shut up!”
He pantomimed zipping his lips, then pushed the plate of food an inch closer to her. She sighed and picked up a musubi.
“Is Mia with her dad today?” he asked.
“You got every sign right,” she approved.
He waited patiently.
“Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “She’s with her dad. Or she will be in a minute. Halia’s driving her to meet him at the zoo.”
“Do you have a custody agreement yet?”
She shook her head and took a bite of the seared spam on rice. They sat in silence, both looking out at the garden while she ate.
“We have mediation soon,” she said eventually. But I don’t want to put her back in school in Hawi, so if he doesn’t budge on that… I guess it’ll be up to the judge.”
“That’s rough.”
“It’s terrifying. I can’t wrap my head around the thought of handing my daughter’s whole life over to a stranger who’s never even met her. That’s insane. It makes me think of foster care. I never in a million years thought my daughter would be in the same position that I was.”
“It’s not the same,” he said gently. “She has two parents who care about her.”
Laurie swallowed and nodded, forced to concede the point.
“That doesn’t mean it’s not hard.” Like any beginner, his movements were slow and deliberate – but he got every sign right.
“Are you even real?”
Kekoa laughed in surprise. “What?”
With just a few weeks of work – and God only knew how many hours that man was studying every day, to learn this quickly – he was already signing at least as well as Dawn, who had been using ASL for well over three decades.
“My mother never learned to sign,” Laurie said.
“Your birth mother?” he asked.
She nodded.
“Weren’t you always a Kalama? Since you were really little, I mean?”
“Yes and no… The Kalamas fostered me from the time I was five, but my mom never relinquished her rights. Sometimes she would get clean and find a place to live, and the state would send me back to her for a while. Mostly I was with Dawn and Kimo… but she never let them adopt me. They did anyway, once I was eighteen.”
“Are you two still in touch?”
“She passed away a few years ago. I hadn’t seen her in a long time. She never met Mia.” Laurie frowned and scratched the back of her neck. “Sorry. I don’t even know why I started talking about her.”
“She never learned to sign.”
“Right.” Laurie’s stomach did a miserable little sommersault. It shouldn’t still hurt; she should be past it by now. But she wasn’t, and it did.
“I’m sorry.”
She nodded and looked out at the orchard, where Kekoa’s son was climbing trees with his cousins.
“What happened to ‘Iolani’s mom?” Laurie asked.
“She left when he was two.”
She gave him a sharp look, and he shrugged. “‘Io wasn’t… planned. His mother never wanted to be a mom. She tried for a while, but in the end, she just… I don’t know, she didn’t want to. So she left. She moved to Maui.”
“Does she see him at all?”
“She visits once or twice a year. Calls about once a month. She flew him out to visit her for a week last summer. Sometimes I think it’s almost worse than going no contact, but… I don’t know. It’s his mom.”
“So you’ve been raising him by yourself since he was two.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” He gestured towards the main house. “I have my family.”
Laurie nodded, looking at him with new respect.
“What?”
“I don’t know. I guess I still think of you as the mischievous kid I knew growing up. We haven’t seen each other for so long.”
“You expected me to keep on acting like an eight year old?”
She laughed. “Maybe. Some men do.”
“That’s a low bar, but I’ll try to take it as a compliment.”
“I meant it as one. You’re a dedicated dad and a talented carpenter, and you seem to have some kind of crazy photographic memory.”
“Not for everything. I’m not much good with words, music, any of that. But physical stuff? Making chairs, building houses… I’m good at that.”
“And sign language.”
“If you say so.”
“And a friend, too. You’re a really, really good friend.”
He nodded and clinked his glass against hers. “That compliment I’ll take.”