Chapter 29 Oakley
Oakley
One night after putting Hayden and Harper to bed, Oakley walked out to find Trent waiting for her at the kitchen table.
They had been tiptoeing around each other ever since he returned from the mainland, hardly speaking save for basic communication about logistics and a few words in front of the girls.
Their daughters had hardly noticed – which was a relief on the one hand, but on the other…. Oakley found it unsettling that Hayden and Harper were so used to this gulf between their parents that they were unbothered when it grew even wider.
Grief and relief churned together in her chest as she sat down across from her husband. He so rarely made himself available to her. Lately he had been working late and passing out on the couch; she had hardly seen him at all.
Maybe he was finally ready to work through this.
She reached for his hands, but he pulled away.
“I want a divorce,” he said without preamble.
The words, so quietly spoken, hit Oakley like a bucket of ice water.
“What?” she asked.
“It’s time, Oakley.” His eyes were fixed on his hands, which were folded together on the table in front of him.
“I don’t understand.”
“You can’t be surprised.” Finally, he lifted his eyes to meet hers. There was no grief there. No remorse. Nothing but a faint, simmering anger. “This was a long time coming.”
“I know that we haven’t been… connecting lately. But that doesn’t mean we should just throw in the towel. I want to fight for us, Trent. Don’t you?”
“No.”
She stared at him, speechless.
“It shouldn’t be a fight, Oakley. It shouldn’t have to be a fight. It’s better to just accept things as they are.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Don’t you?” he asked bitterly. “You haven’t paid attention to me in years.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Okay, you throw me a bone now and then. But I’m not your priority. I haven’t been, not in a long time.”
“I mean… we’re parents. The girls are our priority. Both of ours.”
“You took it further than that, Oak. You checked out of our marriage a long time ago.”
“I didn’t check out! I’m right here! You’re the one who hardly spends time with us anymore.”
“Do you even hear yourself?”
“What?”
“Us. Us. Every time you say us, it’s you and the girls. You and your sisters. It’s never you and me. Not anymore.”
“That’s because you pulled away.”
“I had to. You weren’t here for me. Not really.”
“I was raising our daughters!”
“The daughters you wanted.”
She gaped at him, struck dumb.
After a moment, she stood and went down the hall to make sure that both girls were asleep. She gingerly closed their bedroom door and then went back to the kitchen.
Trent was sitting right where she had left him.
“Are you saying that you don’t want our children?” she hissed in a low whisper.
“You’re the one who wanted to be a parent so bad,” he replied.
She just stared at him. It felt as though her whole world had tilted off its access. Then he gave her another one of those looks – those patronizing, don’t-be-stupid looks, and rage began to simmer beneath her shock.
“I love our daughters,” he said. “I just don’t love you anymore.”
Those words caused her physical pain. She grabbed a chair and sat down before she could fall to her knees.
Even in her grief, she hated that she was showing him any weakness. She hated that she cared so much about a man who no longer cared about her at all.
“Are you leaving?” she asked after a while.
His mouth pulled to one side, and he looked away.
“What?” she demanded.
“I thought… since you keep talking about moving down to Pualena anyway… I figured that I could stay in the house.”
“You’re kicking me out?” she asked in disbelief. “Me and the girls?”
Trent rolled his eyes. “Don’t be dramatic. You’ve been begging to leave all summer. I just don’t want to go with you.”
“But the girls…”
“Homeschool them if you want. It’s fine. They can come here on the weekends.”
She stared at him, stunned that he would write his daughters off so easily after insisting all summer that they stay the course and stick to the plan.
Then it dawned on her.
“There’s someone else… isn’t there?”
His expression barely changed. Anyone else might have missed the faint look of guilt that flickered across his face. But Oakley had known this man for a long, long time.
“Who?” she asked.
He stared down at his hands. “Jennifer.”
It took a moment for the name to register. “The influencer behind that cutesy cartoon dieting app? That Jennifer?”
He nodded, still not meeting her eyes.
Oakley snorted. She had always wondered why he spent so much time on such a crummy business idea. Now she knew. It was the doe-eyed girl behind it.
She wasn’t even thirty.
How had Oakley been so blind?
The thought of all of her husband’s trips to the mainland – all those ‘business meetings’ – made her suddenly queasy… and at the same time, she felt lightheaded with an unexpected surge of relief.
Somehow, his infidelity made it all easier to bear.
It wasn’t her fault.
She had done her best. She had done everything that she could possibly do to keep their family together. The dissolution of their marriage came down to a horrible midlife cliche.
He had chosen someone else.
Fine.
She wouldn’t beg.
She didn’t want a man who didn’t want her.
She tried to let it go without another word – but then she felt a sudden anger on behalf of their daughters.
“You should have told me before they started a new school year. You shouldn’t have made them start if you were just going to throw us out.”
“I didn’t plan this,” he growled. “It just happened.”
“She gave you an ultimatum,” Oakley guessed.
Trent flinched. That was all the confirmation she needed.
It was almost a relief to have her worst fears confirmed. Because it meant that she wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t mired in uncertainty.
She had a clear path laid out for her.
And she had four sisters right there on the island who would help her through it.
Telling the girls would be the worst part, but she pushed that thought to one side. She wouldn’t show weakness to this man. She would never show her soft underbelly to him again, not as long as she lived. He had lost that privilege.
“Fine.” Her voice was mercifully steady. “We can file the paperwork this week. Halia knows it all like the back of her hand. It’s not difficult. I assume that you’ll buy me out of the house? Jennifer wants to live here in Waimea, is that it?”
He was staring now, looking at her like she had grown a second head.
Had he expected her to break down? Was she supposed to beg for him to stay? Did he want her to cry?
She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“Should I break the news to the girls, or are we going to tell them together?” she asked.
His mouth worked without sound for a moment. Then he said, “Yeah. I think we should tell them together. It’s not their fault, we still love them, that whole thing.”
“Fine. We’ll tell them after breakfast tomorrow. Is there anything else?”
“I guess that’s it.”
She stood, and Trent shook his head.
“You’re as cold as ice,” he said. “You know that?”
She walked down the hall and into their bedroom, where she closed the door and locked it. She crawled into the king-sized bed and pulled the blanket over her head.
Then, finally, she let herself break down and cry.