Chapter Seventeen #2
Now the memory cuts deeper. Because she had to watch me fall apart. Had to hold me together, all while she was quietly falling apart herself. How many times did she swallow her pain just to help carry mine?
“You broke my heart,” I say, barely above a whisper. It’s not dramatic. Just… true.
Jamie’s eyes meet mine, and this time he doesn’t look away. “And you’ll never forgive that,” he says, like he’s already decided.
I don’t answer.
It’s not that I won’t forgive Jamie. It’s that I don’t think he’ll forgive himself. And maybe that’s worse.
Because we can never get back what we had. It was carefree, consuming. It was easy and right. But now it’ll always be overshadowed by what went wrong.
We don’t drag it out, this stretch of pain between us. I let it float away, like the tide pulling back into the ocean. Instead, we slip into something easier. Softer. Trying to remember how to be near each other without hurting.
I lean back, and glance at him. “And now?” I ask. “You’re graduated?”
He sniffs a short laugh, the sadness easing off his face. “Online diploma,” he says. “Got kicked out of boarding school.”
I raise my brows, giving him a look that says There’s got to be a story there. He sees it, grins faintly.
“Broke a few rules,” he says, waving it away. “Maybe on purpose, I don’t really know anymore. So now I’m back in Connecticut with my parents. With their rules.” He shrugs, and studies the fire. “But I don’t really have anywhere that I belong. At least, nowhere that wants me back.”
I bump my shoulder into his, trying to lighten the frown pulling at his mouth. “So you belong to the streets,” I say, making him laugh. “It’s not so bad. You can live anywhere.”
He seems to think it over. “That’s a good point,” he says. “My parents see college in my future, but I’m not convinced. At least not anymore. And what about you?” he asks. “You still have your friends, the beach. What are you going to do with your life when summer ends?”
I think about it a moment, and sigh deeply.
“I wanted to travel,” I start. “Explore the ocean and see all the port towns along the way. It was going to be with my mom. Then… after she was gone, I started charting on my own. That was my plan.” I stop, now thinking about it.
“But plans change. Now I’m helping with our business.
Now everything’s to keep the Surf Shack afloat. ”
Jamie furrows his brow, seeming to think this over. He doesn’t offer any advice. Instead, we sit close together, listening to the crackle of the fire, the hum of voices, the occasional splash of waves against the shore.
“By the way,” he says after a while. “Your dad is still pretending like he barely remembers me.”
This time, I laugh and turn to him. My father has a whole thing where he can never remember Jamie’s name.
“That’s how you know he secretly likes you,” I tell him, and Jamie nods.
The lights of an approaching boat cut through the darkness, and several people around the bonfire turn toward it. The tension starts to rise in the air like the pressure before a storm. I narrow my eyes, trying to figure out who it is. Then my stomach sinks.
“Not tonight,” I murmur.
It’s the Collective.
Jamie doesn’t seem to notice at first, but then his gaze follows mine. When he sees them, his posture shifts, like he’s bracing for impact.
“Do me a favor,” I tell him. “Don’t get involved with whatever this is.”
He motions toward the water. “You can already assume that I will be involved.”
The boat glides closer, the motor too loud in the still night. As it bumps against the dock, Creed is the first to jump out of the boat, tying off the rope.
My heart is racing with impending confrontation. I haven’t seen him since he nearly knocked me off Tech’s roof. At that thought, I swing my gaze around to find my friend—worried about what he’s going to do. Last time they met, he was chasing after his Jeep.
I spot Tech and Shawn heading toward the dock and jump up. Jamie stands too, and I see in his expression that he’s ready to fight. I’m not sure if this is about the black eye or everything he’s learned, but I really don’t want him to get hurt any worse.
“Collective or not,” I tell him, putting my hand on his chest and drawing his attention. “They will bury you just the same. There is no loyalty with them.”
He shrugs. “I mean, they can try,” he says.
I curse under my breath at his stubbornness, and then jog over to join Tech and Shawn just as they reach the dock. At the fire, the other locals hang back, ready to jump in if needed.
While Creed helps Hailey climb out of the boat, Jordan is more hesitant.
She at least has the decency to look embarrassed to be here.
Matteo, on the other hand, stands at the wheel of the boat.
He’s scanning the area like he’s looking for someone.
When his gaze stops on me, I realize that I’m the target of this excursion.
My anxiety spikes as Matteo climbs off the boat and starts in my direction. He seems determined, even a little… worried. I have no idea what this could be about.
I look sideways at Tech, anger rolling off him. “You good?” I ask, trying to gauge how this is all going to end up. He doesn’t turn to me, watching the group instead.
“Just keep Creed away from me,” he says in a low voice, “and we won’t end up in jail tonight.”
“Great,” I murmur anxiously.
As they reach the end of the dock, Matteo approaches us while the others hang back. He casts withering looks at both Shawn and Tech, before focusing on me. He notices Jamie then, and his expression hardens. He stops in front of us, shaking his head.
“Well, that didn’t take long,” Matteo says to Jamie, but it seems to be more of a dig toward me. “Nice eye, by the way,” he adds, tapping under his own to indicate Jamie’s black eye.
Jamie smirks. “This?” he asks, pointing to it. “I can’t remember, but I think it’s from my kid sister.”
Shawn laughs, but the air is still tense, as if we all know where this is heading.
Tech takes a step forward. “Can we fucking help you?” he asks.
In response, Creed inches closer to our group. Jamie straightens his back, tall and big compared to Creed’s lanky bones, and Creed rocks on his heels, staying put for now.
Matteo glances at Tech, sneering as if this is none of his business. “I’m here to talk to Noa,” he says.
Okay, although I guessed as much, him saying it out loud sends a jolt of panic through my chest. There is nothing that Matteo should want from me, other than trying to mess with the Surf Shack. I don’t want to talk to him. I’d be happy to never see him again.
“Not a great time,” I point out, trying to wave him off.
“Noa,” he says, stepping toward me, but Jamie moves to stop him. “I need to—”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you,” Jamie tells him. Then he shakes his head. “Did you forget what you did with her board today? I mean, come on.”
Matteo tightens his jaw, seeming furious that Jamie is speaking up for me. “Don’t make me knock you out, James,” he says, his voice low. “This isn’t about you.”
Jamie laughs, ready to come back with some kind of insult, when Creed shifts on the dock—like he couldn’t wait to get involved. As he walks toward us, Jamie furrows his brow.
“What the fuck do you want, mustache?” he asks him.
And suddenly, it’s absolute chaos.
With a growl, Creed lunges for Jamie, throwing a wild punch. Jamie easily dodges him, stepping to the side while Creed stumbles to the deck. Hailey lets out a shriek of surprise, and Jordan covers her mouth, eyes wide.
I curse, and scramble to the side, grabbing on to Shawn’s arm. Tech is next to Jamie, both of them staring at Creed as he gets up from the dock. Matteo shakes his head, and I’m struck again by the strange look in his eyes, as if he didn’t come here to fight—but can’t help it anyway.
As Creed stands, he grabs a steel pipe that had been set aside to secure the dock. When he holds it up as a weapon, several of the Chasers near the fire gasp.
“Put that down!” I shout, my heart racing. Creed is seriously unhinged.
He doesn’t even acknowledge me, as if he has some unspoken rivalry with Jamie. For his part, though, Jamie looks wholly unimpressed by him. Tech, on the other hand…
Just as Creed starts toward Jamie again, Tech moves quickly to knock him aside before wrapping his forearm around Creed’s neck from behind, pulling him backward into a choke hold. The pipe falls to the dock with a clanging sound as Creed’s hands flail in front of him. Tech holds him fast.
“Get off him!” Matteo shouts, rushing forward.
Jamie grabs him by the shirt to push him backward. Instantly, Matteo swings and hits Jamie’s shoulder, but Jamie is quick to throw a return punch, landing it squarely on Matteo’s jaw.
He and Matteo lock up, while Tech is attempting to choke out Creed. Other Chasers are gathering around us as Hailey shouts for everyone to stop. When Matteo grabs Jamie by the bandaged arm, making him cry out in pain, I rush into the fray.
Hailey tries to stop me, but Shawn quickly appears, grabbing her by the collar and pulling her in close. “Don’t even think about it,” Shawn says in her face, before the two begin shouting at each other.
After Jamie pushes Matteo off, bright red begins to bloom across his white bandage. I’m scared he popped his stiches. Just then, Creed breaks free of Tech, and then he’s trying to fight Jamie again. It’s absolute madness.
Halfway across the dock now, I look up to see Matteo pushing his way back over to me in the chaos. The others are still wrapped up in their brawl, but Matteo’s eyes are locked on mine, and I feel the ground shift beneath me.
What does he want with me? Why can’t he just leave me alone?
“Noa,” he says, his voice serious, like he’s actually trying to have a real conversation. I don’t trust him. Not for a second. “I need to talk to you,” he says, and there’s an edge to his voice, something… earnest? “Please,” he adds.
I hate that it makes me hesitate for just a moment, as if there’s a part of me that still wants to listen to what he has to say.
Before I can respond, there is a splash of liquid over Matteo’s head, splattering on my shirt. We both gasp. I look behind him and see Shawn standing there with an empty plastic cup, the beer on Matteo.
“You’ve said enough tonight,” Shawn tells him.
For a split second, Matteo’s expression falters, eyes wide with surprise, but then… then the storm comes.
Hailey throws herself at Shawn, her nails swiping at her face, her body a blur of rage. Hailey doesn’t have a chance, but she has the element of surprise. Suddenly, though, it’s Jordan who comes over to grab Hailey by the shoulders, yanking her backward with unexpected strength.
“Enough!” Jordan orders, her voice steady despite the situation. She exchanges a quick, apologetic look with Shawn, like this is all a terrible mistake, but there’s no going back now.
Shawn is breathing heavily, eyes wild, but she doesn’t fight Jordan. Not this time.
Jordan nods, an apologetic frown on her face as she pulls Hailey back toward the boat. Hailey continues to shout, her red hair in knots from fighting.
Jamie pushes Creed toward the boat. Although he tries to act tough, I can see that Creed is relieved to go, his lip bloodied.
He was completely outmatched. Privilege doesn’t necessarily help your fists win fights.
Matteo, however, stands in the middle of our group, angry and soaked in beer. He’s not used to losing.
And for now, whatever he had to say to me is lost. He’s angry, his ego bruised. “This isn’t over,” he tells Jamie, his eyes narrowed.
“You’re right, it’s not,” Jamie replies easily.
Matteo’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he turns to his friends, motioning for them to get the boat ready. Once the motor roars to life, I watch as they push back from the dock.
Shawn comes over to me, checking the scratches on the back of her arm. Hailey got her pretty good. We watch until their boat disappears.
We didn’t need this tonight. But it just never ends with them. The Collective will always find a reason to come after us, even when we’re in our own spaces.
“What the hell was that all about?” Shawn asks, still out of breath.
“Not a clue,” I say, my brow furrowed. “But whatever it is, I don’t think Matteo is going to let it go.”