14. CHAPTER 14 #2
“How can you be so sharp, and so dull at the same time?”
“And you think I go on with cryptic shit?”
“I feel like I’ve been trying really hard.”
“To do what? You literally just pushed me down the stairs like two hours ago.”
“It’s not my fault you can’t take directions.”
“It’s not my fault you can’t give clear instructions!”
“I’m not yelling at you.”
“But that’s not gonna stop me yelling at you!
” Tugging on the neck of my hoodie, I pull it down.
“I’ve still got this a week later!” I scream.
“How would you like to have a daily reminder that someone choked you out? And what about the bruise on my hip from where you shoved me into the dining table when I didn’t get your coffee quick enough yesterday morning?
This isn’t trying, Eden. It’s fucking abuse! ”
I’m preemptively backing up against the wall of snow before I’ve even gauged his reaction.
My head and my gut are both pleading with me to climb over it and bury myself so deep it won’t be worth his trouble to come after me.
But all he does is hang his head and softly say, "Your beer will freeze if you don’t drink it. ”
E den and I haven’t said a word to each other since I sat back on the step, we’ve just remained in a weird suspended motion. Him behind me, the both of us facing the fire and nothing but the crackle of the wood and flames filling the space around us.
I always wondered what it would be like to survive a zombie apocalypse.
And while I know the reality would be much closer to the five days I spent completely alone in the shack, this is what I actually pictured.
People, who, in their past lives, would have never connected, but now must rely on each other to get through every day.
Existing only by the light of a fire, and whatever food they can find.
I hear Eden stack his bottle with the other five he’s emptied.
He picks up the barbecue tongs and plate, and I lean to the side, giving him plenty of space to pass.
With all four bundles collected, I’m surprised when he takes a seat on the top step beside me. He puts the plate on the frozen ground, and I stare wide eyed as he partially unwraps each of the vegetables with his bare hands.
“They’ll be safe to pick up in a few minutes,” he says, and leans his hands back on the porch. His bicep pushes against me, and I hold still, waiting to see if he moves it. When he doesn’t, I relax again with the screen frame against my side. “Do you want another beer?”
“Are you sure?” I answer, my eyes looking forward. “That’s three now. Can you spare the calories?”
Eden almost groans as he reaches behind himself to drag the crate closer. “You had to have been an elf in a past life.”
“Are you sure you’ve only been drinking beer?”
The two bottles clink together as he takes them out.
“They’re little shits, like you.” He pops the cap on the first and gives it to me.
“They get off on tormenting people they think are angry all the time.” Tossing the bottle opener over his shoulder to land god knows where, Eden tilts his beer in my direction.
I tap the neck of mine against his, then watch him down half of it in one go.
“That’s the only story my mom ever told me as a kid.
" Eden makes a noise that lands somewhere between a laugh and a sigh.
Shaking his head, he runs the back of his hand across his mouth, then lets his head fall back. "She was fifteen when she had me."
I take a drink and copy his position.
"She used to call me her prince. Until I wasn't enough anymore."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. She never was. I was replaced with so many boyfriends I lost count.
" Eden takes a long, drawn out breath, then leans forward on his thighs.
"When she married Brian I stopped giving a shit.
I had to. I had to look out for Carey cause god knows they didn't. I don't know why she thought having another baby was a good idea. "
"What's he like?"
"A smart ass, like you."
"He sounds like a great guy."
"Yeah," he smiles and shakes his head. "He is pretty great."
"Why did they leave you?"
Eden turns to look at me for the first time since breaking the silence. "Cause I was never wanted in the first place."
"That can't be true."
"You complain about your parents, but they took me in when mine moved away."
"Eden—"
"You were a toddler when I started spending every holiday at your house. And every weekend. And dinner most nights. So you were too young to remember what they did for me those first few years."
I nod, because I'm not sure what else I can do. Nothing he said about my family is wrong. I have so many memories of him and Tek drinking in the basement or smoking in the backyard when Mom and Dad weren't home. But how many parents have expectations for other people's children?
Eden puts down his beer and walks to the other side of the fire. With his back to me, he links his fingers together behind his neck and rocks from one foot to the other. He looks like a monster in the snow; tall and strong. But also like the smallest thing could bring him to his knees.
"Right," he says suddenly—turning back around. He runs his hands down his face, then shakes them out as he takes his seat beside me. "What were we talking about?"
"Um…" I grin down at my lap so he can't see me. "You were calling me an elf."
"Yeah," he agrees, and picks up his drink like the last few minutes never happened.
"That bitch would tell me about one called Styf—and that's you.
" He points to me with the beer bottle. "He lived in a stable.
You lived in a shed…" I watch the fire light flicker against his neck and face as he smiles up at the sky.
“He went out of his way to make greedy old men pay for being cruel. So I guess, with the beer, and the food, and all the other shit I've done, that I’m the greedy old man.”
“You’re not that old.”
“Thanks.” Eden downs the rest of his beer and grabs another bottle. “But I'm technically old enough to be your father.”
“Yeah, if you were having sex at fifteen.”
Using the edge of the step to open his seventh bottle, he says, "Like I said, I’m old enough to be your father.”
“Fuck,” I exhale softly.
Eden picks up the potato and hands it to me. “Half, then we swap.”
Taking it, I nod. “So, ah… What you said before. Does that mean—”
“Yes.” Eden picks up the sweet potato and starts peeling back the tough, charred skin.
“Tek was getting it too. More than me, if you want the whole story.” This time there’s no mistaking whether it’s a laugh or not when he looks at the expression on my face.
“Why are you so shocked? Start eating before I take it off you.”
Pulling back the skin of the baked potato, steam billows up in front of my face. “I guess I just… I've always known he was popular but I've never seen him date anyone.”
“That’s Tek, since—" He catches himself, though I'm not sure why. "Your brother never had to put in any work to get attention. But yeah. He's not the relationship type.”
“Bu… I’m sorry. This is just a lot to get my head around.”
“Why, though? You might not have started as young, but there’s something in the Jeon blood that ladies want…
Hey, you know what’s really funny?” he asks with a mouth full of sweet potato, then nudges me so hard I almost topple off the side of the step.
“My first was with a girl who was after your brother.
Marina—can't remember her last name. He was meant to go to some dance with her but backed out last minute. So she asked me to fuck her to make him jealous.”
“Lovely.” I roll my eyes.
“You’re doing that judgy thing again.”
“Can you hear yourself talking?”
“I thought you said you weren’t a prude?”
“The question still stands.”
He takes another bite, and smirks. “I regret nothing. I didn’t force her to come knocking at my bedroom window.
I didn’t force her to do anything at all.
” After another bite, Eden snatches the potato out of my hands and replaces it with his half finished one.
“She came onto me. You’d have done the same thing—” He cuts himself off when his eyes meet mine, and just looks at me.
It's not so different from all the other times he glared at me with utter indifference, except this time, it lasts longer.
Several seconds longer. And none of his features twitch with disgust. “Or maybe you wouldn’t have," he laughs. "But you were the one who said I’m a whore for attention.”
“I’d say more whore in general.”
“Oooh.” He covers his mouth with his fist and taps his foot against the side of mine. “Jin with the bangers tonight.”
“You’re an idiot.” I turn my head to hide my smile.
“So who was your first?”
I almost choke on the sweet potato. “Sorry? My what?”
“You’re first fuck.”
“My first, fuck? ” I repeat, emphasising the misogyny of it all.
“What was her name?”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“Maww,” he pouts. “I told you mine.”
“And I didn’t ask.”
“How old were you?”
I peel back more of the foil from around the sweet potato and take a bite instead of answering him.
“I bet it was last year.”
I roll my eyes. “Is that so?”
“Mhm. And you were romantic about it. Took her to dinner. Did it on a weekend when your parents weren’t at home.”
“I guess you’ve got it all figured out then.”
“Was I right?”
“Sure.”
After scooping out the last bit of sweet potato from its skin, I scrunch it up inside the foil and hold it out, silently asking where I should put it.
Taking it from me, Eden unwraps it and takes out the skin.
Holding it to his mouth, he bites at it until every last piece of edible flesh that I hadn't even seen, is gone, then throws it and the foil over his shoulder like he did with the bottle opener.
"Here," he says, offering me the carrot, but I shake my head.
“I’d rather eat that last.”
Eden rests it on his thigh. “I thought you didn’t eat beets.”