18. CHAPTER 18 #2
“Made me philosophical.”
“And that’s a problem?”
“Yes it is.” I steal his glass away and walk towards the filter. “Because you are too smart for my own good.”
Jin kneels up, leans both hands on the coffee table, and smiles. “So you admit it, then?”
He looks so cute when I put the half full glass back in front of him. “It’s never been a secret. Why do you think you piss me off so much?”
With a big, toothy grin, he squeezes his eyes shut, and gloats.
I want to touch his cheeks so badly.
I want to poke his dimples.
“That’s enough.”
Now he’s sulking, and it’s my turn to smile. But I can’t look at him anymore so I fill up the rest of our glasses with soju.
“Woah, Nelly.” I bat his hand away as he reaches for the glass. “Get more of that in you first.”
With a bratty look, he takes his water, gulps some down, then shows me his mouth is empty by sticking out his tongue, and… I’m a filthy, filthy man.
“Happy, mister responsible adult?”
“Very. Now go slow with that one.”
“Make me.”
“Fine,” I say, all smug and happy with myself as I sit back against the couch. “Never have I ever fucked my girlfriend in the lunchroom at work.”
Jin’s jaw goes slack. “Screw you.”
“I don’t wanna break you, remember?”
“I could just lie.”
I take the owed sip of my drink. “But you won’t.”
“Never have I ever been accepted into five different colleges,” he says with sass dripping off every word.
“You put that drink to your lips and you’ll wear the rest of it.”
His face is the epitome of forced innocence. “Is that not how the game works?”
“Not for you, it doesn’t.”
“I don’t like your games.”
“Give me the drink then, and we’ll sit here in silence… That’s what I thought. So you get one for every five of mine.”
“That’s messed up, and you know it.”
“You really are the smart one… Now. Never have I ever been walked in on by Jeon Wootek while I was with a girl.”
I watch as Jin’s eyes move subtly from side to side before raising his glass.
“See, I’m not a monster,” I tell him after swallowing my own. “Never have I ever… had a threesome.”
He glares at me. “Are all yours gonna be true?”
"We’ll see.” I shrug. “Never have I ever had a foursome.”
“I’m only nineteen.”
“It’s not my fault you’re behind… Never have I ever had a foursome with only two girls.”
As I take another sip, Jin’s eyes gape. “Do not tell me you and Tek have… seen each other…”
“Okay. I won’t.”
His face screws up like he was just forced to eat an entire lemon in one go, rind and all.
“It’s not like we set out with the intention to watch each other fuck.”
“But you did… watch each other?”
“I guess, kinda, if you squint hard enough. Was I balls deep while watching another chick bounce on some guy's dick? Fuck yeah, I was. Did that dick happen to belong to your brother? Sure, but I wasn’t looking at him.”
“I’m never gonna get that image out of my mind.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Never have I ever dated a cheerleader while I was in high school.”
“I’d tell you that was a dick move if I wasn’t so impressed,” I let him know as I watch him proudly take a sip.
“Never have I ever fucked someone who taught me in high school.”
“Now you’re just bragging.”
“And you weren’t?”
I can tell he wants to say fuck you again, but catches himself.
“Never have I ever gotten a blow job in the basement of your house.”
“You better not have left jizz on the carpet.”
“I can make so much promise. I’m gonna need a refill soon.”
“Just shut up and keep going.”
“I’m starting to like it when you talk to me like that.”
“You’re so full of shit.”
“Am I?” The conviction of my stare never wavers as Jin tries to dissect it.
“Never have I ever jerked off in the shower...”
Like he thinks I’ve given him an easy win, Jin quickly sucks some of the soju mixture into his mouth.
“Don’t you dare swallow that…”
His head tilts to the side, asking why not?
“I hadn’t finished… Never have I ever jerked off in the shower of this cabin.”
His eyes leave mine, and he turns his head away. The coy smirk that stretches over his lips spills the truth before he swallows.
“Never have I ever…” My mouth feels so dry even though I’ve not stopped drinking. “Jerked off in the shower of this cabin. Today.”
The sip I take does little to quench my thirst, especially seeing as Jin has raised his drink, but instead of drinking, he’s looking at me with a sly little smile.
“So are you drinking or not?”
“I wasn’t in the shower.”
“So you can’t drink then,” I whisper back.
He lowers his glass so it’s sitting on the rug beside him, but he doesn’t let it go. “You’ve got one more.”
It seems like we’re only communicating in breathy, hushed tones at this point.
“Never have I ever…” I take in a shaky breath. I know what I want to say, and I know what I want his answer to be. But once the words have been spoken, there’s no going back. “Never have I ever watched someone… while…”
Jin's eyes rise from the rug. “They jerked off?”
I nod, and let out a shameful huff of air as he takes half the remaining liquid into his mouth—his Adam’s apple catching my eye as he swallows it down.
“My turn.” I can barely hear him, but I also know exactly what he’s saying.
“Never have I ever watched someone jerk off…through a window.” His voice is shaky, his face is tinged pink, and my god I need him to take another fucking drink.
But he doesn’t. He just sits there, frozen.
Like his brain is buffering. Then, when I think I’m going to fucking explode, he moves so he’s kneeling, puts down his drink, and faces me head on.
“Never have I ever watched someone jerk off…” He looks over his shoulder to the front door. “Through that window.”
“Fucking hell, Jin,” I mutter, unable to move or take my eyes off of him.
“Are you mad?”
I straighten out one of my legs and crack my neck.
This is all my fault. I opened this can of worms out of complete narcissism, and now I’m ready to tip them all over the floor.
“Never have I ever wanted you to… look at me… while I was…”
“Jerking off?” First his left hand is on the rug, then his right. Then it's painful how slowly he's crawling towards me. “Did you want me to watch you?”
“I think so.”
“I wanted to watch you.”
He’s close enough for me to reach out and touch. But I’m too much of a coward. Too frightened. Too ashamed. “Did you like it?”
Far braver than I’ll ever be, he puts his hand on my shin.
I look down at it.
It weighs a ton.
It, his presence, everything he’s admitted to, it’s all so heavy it feels like I’m being forced through the floor. And when I look up, his face doesn’t look nearly as innocent as it did ten minutes ago.
“I wanted to watch you again.”
“Did you?”
“I never had the chance… Not until those filthy cheerleaders.”
“Would you rather there was a cheerleader here for you now?”
Jin’s hand slides up over my knee to my thigh as he asks, "Do you wish there was one here for you? ”
He digs his fingers into my leg when I don’t answer. So high on my thigh. So mind numbingly close. And that’s all it takes for me to realize how hard I am.
“Do you wish there was one here for you?” he repeats.
“I asked you first.”
“You already know my answer.”
“Do I?”
“I think you do.”
He’s so close now that I could easily pull him on top of me. I could feel how warm his skin is. I could taste his lips and see if they’re as soft as they look. But he’s just a kid, and I’m— "So say it then."
His breath is so heavy I can hear it, but it’s still not as loud as the blood pumping in my ears.
Pulling his eyes away from mine, Jin looks between us, and—so slowly at first I don't realize he's moving—his fingertips ghost over me. Then it’s his palm, and the whole weight of his hand as he gropes me through my sweats.
I short circuit.
Grab him.
Throw him to the ground.
Cage him there.
“Why the fuck did you do that?”
Jintae’s pale fingers graze over the tanned and tattooed skin of my waist, left bare by how my flannel has fallen forward. “Because you weren’t kissing me.”
“I can’t do that.”
He moves to the first button, pushing it through its hole before doing the same to the second. “Why not?”
“I might like it.”
He separates my flannel, running his hands up over my chest to curve them around my traps at the base of my neck. “And why is that such a bad thing?”
“Because I'm scared I’ll never be able to stop.”
I can feel the heat radiating off of him.
He wraps his legs around my waist, and before either of us know it, my weight is bearing down on him because I want him. His smell. The taste of his breath.
We’re a mess of hands and tongues with no finesse whatsoever, just a desperate need to have everything all at once.
His skin is as soft as I knew it would be. But the muscles of his stomach are hard as I push my hand beneath the cute navy pajamas he always wears.
I grab at his waist, his hair, his ass.
I feel how hard he is against me as I grind between his legs.
This is nothing I should want, but everything I need.
“Eden,” he moans against my lips, and I suck it down. “I… I want…” He cuts himself off by kissing me again.
He’s so small in my arms, but so strong as he clings to me.
There’s no going back from here. Not when we only have each other in this pressure cooker of testosterone.
“No more DVD’s,” Jin says as he unhooks his legs from around me.
I run my nose along the crook of his neck and up to his ear. “I don’t know about that.” I bite on his ear lobe and scoop under his ass. “I wanna see you come while you pay me no attention. You know how I get when I’m ignored.”
Jin’s spine and head arch back.
I nip at his neck.
He moans, "I… I need more.”
“I’ve never fucked a guy before.”
“Neither have I. But—” His lips are back on mine. They’re dirty and aggressive. His tongue is fire; fast, firm, and insistent. He kisses like a demon—like he’s trying to suck the soul right out of my body.
I push my hand further beneath his pajamas until I graze his nipple.
His hands fall limply by his head as his breath hitches between our lips.