36. CHAPTER 36 #2
“Is that your way of asking me if I go to gay bars?”
“What? No…” I act coy. “But, maybe.”
“Other than with you and Reeze after the convention in Portland. No, I’ve never been to a gay bar.”
“Cool.” I nod to myself, remembering that night. “Not that I’d care if you did go to them.”
“And I wouldn’t give two fucks if you did care. I love you, Tek, but my sexuality doesn’t have a damn thing to do with you.”
I roll my eyes; if only he knew. “I know, I just…” My voice trails off, racing thoughts taking over and pulling my focus:
Just tell him now.
It’s the perfect time.
Use his happiness to soften the blow.
“I just want you to be happy for me.”
I smile into the receiver. “I am happy for you.” But then Eden’s face flashes into my mind. He’s all rage, all ferocious anger. “I guess I’m just worried about how things might be when you get back.”
“Why would it be different?” he blurts out, almost frantic.
“I hope they aren’t.”
“So why mention it?”
“Well…” Fuck. Should I say it now? Should I just tell him? I’m gonna tell him. “Um… Because Shawn isn’t running the shop anymore, Carey does things differently.”
“O… Kay.”
Here I go. “He doesn’t wanna leave, Eden.”
“Excuse me?”
“Carey. He doesn’t wanna go back to San Diego.”
“So why doesn’t he tell me?”
Because you abandoned him. Because half the time you don’t answer his calls. “I think he’s scared.”
“What the hell for? I mean, he can’t keep living at my place.” I scoff, and slap my hand over my mouth. ”But I support anything that keeps him in Broadrock and away from Mom and Brian.”
I drop my hand. “I think he’d like to hear that.”
“What the fuck is going on, Tek?”
“Nothing.” Everything. Come on, Jeon Wootek. Stop being a pathetic ballsack. “He’s been a real asset.” What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I just say it?
“Look. As long as he doesn’t shit me any more than you and Reeze already do, he can stay at the shop. If that’s what you’re worried about.”
What I’m worried about is how you’re gonna react when Carey pulls me into the break room like you used to do with Shawn when you were horny at work. “I’m not worried about anything.”
“Whatever.” Eden sounds defensive. “If you see Shawn again, tell her to leave me the fuck alone.”
I can’t hold back from laughing. “She won’t listen. I don’t wanna see her either but that doesn’t stop her messaging me. She thinks your…” She thinks I’m… “Going through a phase. That you’ll get—”
“It’s not a fucking phase!”
“Hey! Don’t shoot the messenger.” We’re on the same fucking side.
“This is it for me, Tek. Fuck Shawn, and fuck anyone else who doesn’t believe me. I’ve never been this happy. I love Jin, and—”
“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY!?”
Silence.
Nothing but fucking silence.
There’s no way he’d be that stupid.
There’s no way he’d lie to me for this long.
“Eden!” I scream. “I will fucking kill you if you just said his name!”
I hear something slap in the background.
I can’t feel my hands. My feet.
I’ve never known rage like this.
“I know I’ve been on speaker. Jin! Are you there!?”
I raise my hand, already in a fist, and punch the open locker door. The sound echoes in the small room, and when it bounces back open, I punch it again.
The back room door slides open. “What are you doing back here?”
I stare at Carey with murder in my eyes.
My vision starts to blur, narrowing to a pinpoint of white hot rage.
Jin… Jin…
Fucking Eden!
I can’t speak. Can’t breathe.
Two months. Two fucking months of working myself to death. Two months of worrying, of calling hospitals, morgues and police stations. Two months of Eden’s shit piling up while I kept the business running.
Two months of lies.
My best friend and my brother.
The irony means nothing to me. Carey is in his twenties, he’s been on his own for years.
Jintae is a kid. Nineteen. He’s sheltered and vulnerable, and Eden fucking van der Hart has had him locked up in that tiny cabin doing god knows what to him.
Manipulating him. Touching him. Corrupting him.
I texted them both every day. Called all the time.
Every fucking time I was on the phone to Eden, pleading with him for help, he knew exactly where Jintae was.
That picture… That fucking picture.
Sickness rises in my throat. I heave over the sink, coughing and spluttering, but nothing comes out.
Carey steps towards me with his hands out. “Fuck, Tek. What’s wrong?” But nothing in the entire universe would be able to quash my outrage.
“Your brother, he’s… I’m gonna kill him.”
My fist connects with the locker again. The metal caves in. The skin across my knuckles splits but I don’t feel it.
“Tek, stop!” Carey grabs my arms but I shake him off violently.
“Talk to me. What’s Eden done?”
Ignoring him, I grab onto the locker door and pry it back open. With my truck keys in hand, I barge past him.
“Enough!” He slaps his hand against my chest, pushing me back.
“He’s with Jin!” I yell, and the words taste like poison in my mouth. “Your cunt of a brother has been with Jin this whole fucking time!”
Carey’s face pales. “Jin?”
“You know exactly who the fuck I’m talking about.”
“Is it safe to drive out there yet?”
“I’m about to find out.”
He drops his hand and nods. “I’m coming with you.”
“No you’re not.“
The look on his face shuts me up but doesn’t clear my mind, my rage, or my impulsion.
I’m out of the break room in the next two seconds, then I’m putting my shoes on at the back door while Carey talks to Liv. He gives her a key, tells her something, but this shop means nothing to me anymore. Leave the front door open for all I care.
“Now!” I shout, and Carey is ready in the truck before even I am.
The tires screech as I back out of the lot.
We both jolt in our seats.
“Should I drive?”
My head whips towards Carey. My fingers grip so hard to the steering wheel I’m shocked it doesn’t bend. He holds up his hands then crosses his arms. He looks pissed too, but it doesn’t compare.
“I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna fucking kill him,” I mutter, but Carey remains silent.
Every second that passes I lose more control. The fire closes in around me. The knife is already in my hand.
I’m on the road. I see cars passing. My hands grip the wheel, and my feet shift between the brake, clutch, and accelerator as needed, but they're moving on their own.
My mind is gone.
I'm no longer sane.
I see nothing but the stretch of road in front of me.
All noise is static in my ear.
I'm at the bottom of the hole and I'm ready to drag Eden to hell with me…