37. CHAPTER 37 #2
“I won’t lose you,” he says. Insistent. Indignant.
“Then why does it feel like you’re trying to sabotage our chances?”
His hand grips onto my shirt. “I’m not.”
“So what happens if you can’t fix this?”
“Then it won’t be all on me. I don’t regret what I did. I might later, but I struggle to see how when Eden has been hiding my brother this whole time.”
“Goddamn it, Tek. Not everything is about you!” I slam on the breaks. The tires skid, and when the truck has stopped sliding, I unbuckle my seatbelt.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Getting out so I can yell at you properly.”
My eyes never leave Tek’s through the windscreen as I stride around the hood to his door, and open it. “Get out,” I tell him, pointing to the ground beside me. He undoes his seatbelt and swivels around, but he doesn’t get out. “How will you feel if that’s how your father reacts to us?”
“He won’t.”
“You’re a fucking child,” I huff and press my fingernails into my palms.
“Eden knew this would happen. That's why he lied.”
“Pathetic.”
“Why? You said it yourself, your brother and I are friends because we’re both assholes.”
“So is that why you won’t tell him we’re together? You’re scared of him punching you? In case you’ve forgotten, we haven’t done anything wrong. We weren’t hiding anyone.”
“That’s not it… I…”
I let my neck go limp and my head falls back as I sigh. “What is it, Tek? Because I won't accept guilt or betrayal as an excuse anymore. We’re in the same boat as Eden and Jin, except ours isn’t sinking. And I refuse to let you drag my head underwater with any more bullshit.”
“You have no idea what it’s like to be me.”
“You’re right. I don’t know what it’s like to have a mother who calls to check in on me, or a family home I’m always welcomed back into with open arms.”
Tek abruptly stands. “You like my parents so much, you can have them. They already like you better than me anyway.”
“Oh my god. Do you hear yourself?”
Tek smacks his hand against his chest. “My mother didn’t even come to Miri’s funeral. She wasn’t at one day of the trial. I could actually see it in her eyes that she was happy she died.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? It’s true. You’ve only ever seen the perfectly presented version of her, but I don’t get that luxury.”
I throw my hand in Tek's direction. “What you have looks pretty fucking amazing from where I’m standing. Imagine, for one second, what it would feel like to have nowhere to go for the holidays. No one expecting a call. No one expecting anything.”
“I’m stifled by expectation. It’s why Jin ran away, for Christ’s sake.”
“So why the fuck are you so mad at Eden, then?!”
Tek’s jaw instantly sets tight
“If your parents are as bad as you say they are, then surely Eden did the right thing by not telling anyone where Jin was.”
“He could have told me.”
I sigh. “I know. He could have done a lot of things better. But we can’t control Eden.
We can only control ourselves. And you just made it so much more difficult for us to be able to have our happiness as well.
” I look Tek dead in the eye. “You’re my first priority.
Eden will always be my brother, but you’re…
” I falter and turn away, pacing into the tree line before turning back.
“Why is your anger so much more important than how this makes me feel?”
“I don’t understand how you can’t see how big of a fucking issue it is that he lied to us.”
“I can see it!” I scream. “It’s a huge fucking billboard right in front of both our faces. But I’m trying to push it away so I can see you again, and you just keep pulling it back. I won’t do this, Tek. I won’t play second fiddle to your grudges.”
Something in his expression crumbles.
“Are you…” His voice cracks and his eyes quiver. “Are you leaving me?”
“Do you honestly think it’s that easy?”
“You’re not saying no.” His voice rises. “Carey, please. Don’t— I can’t—”
“Do you really think that little of me?”
“Fuck!” he shouts. Then his hands are in his hair, gripping and pulling.
His breathing intensifies like he's hyperventilating.
He kicks the passenger door shut with all his strength, leaving a boot-shaped dent. Then he starts hitting himself, his closed right fist connecting with the side of his head with sickening thuds.
“Stop it!” I yell, but he’s beyond hearing.
He stumbles in the slush.
I grab his wrist, so he raises the other one.
Holding both his arms I force my body against his and pin him to the dented door.
His eyes widen, searching mine with desperate intensity.
“Let me go,” he says, but there’s no force behind it. Both his cheeks are stained with tears. “Just say it,” he whispers.
“What?”
“I can’t live without you, Carey. So if you’re done, just go. Take the truck and leave me here.”
“Why do you run your mouth so much when all you need to do is shut the fuck up?”
I can feel the frantic rhythm of his pulse where my palms are pressed against his wrists.
Tek’s breath catches, and for a moment, we’re suspended in perfect stillness. The only movement is the fog of our breath between us.
“Why would I leave you here?” I say, the words scraping out my throat as I clench onto him even tighter until I’m shaking too. “Stupid old man.”
Tek trembles, his lips forming a new word I don’t want to hear.
I crush my mouth against his, and our teeth clink.
His lips are cold, bloody, and bitter.
The kiss is raw frustration in its purest form. Hard and desperate with all the love and fear that’s been tearing me apart since we left the shop.
His wrists flex in my grip, testing my hold.
I step back from the truck, dragging Tek with me, our lips still devouring each other.
I drop his wrists, breaking the kiss to spin him towards the truck.
“Back seat. Now,” I bark.
He stumbles forward, and I’m right behind him, herding him to the door.
The highway drones in the distance.
Tek opens the door and I shove him inside.
“Carey—” he starts, but I’m already climbing in on top of him.
“Face down,” I growl and push between his shoulder blades until his chest hits the leather of the bench seat.
Sprawled out beneath me, his body yields to my hands as I move him into position—his head turned to the side, his neck bare and vulnerable.
“Don’t move,” I command; low, and deep.
My muscles twitch as I fumble with my jeans, my fingers slipping until the button is through. Then comes the metallic rattle of the zip.
Tek shifts, trying to look back at me, and I press him down again, harder this time. “I said don’t. Fucking. Move.”
He stills, but I can feel the tension coiling through him. It’s not resistance, it’s anticipation, and it vibrates between us.
My free hand finds the waistband of his sweats and I yank them down in one rough motion.
Climbing fully on top of him, I keep him pinned, and bracket his thighs with my knees.
I move to hold the back of his neck, forcing his chin into the leather.
“Is this how you want me to prove I’m not going anywhere?”
Tek nods frantically against my restraint.
I drag my free hand down the curve of his spine, and when I slide off the bottom of his jacket onto the swell of his bare ass, I squeeze.
My thumb slips between his cheeks to rub against his dry hole.
“Should we see if you’re still open enough from this morning?”
Tek shudders at my request, his eyes rolling back in his head as he moans into the seat.
I smirk; “I’ll take that as a yes.”
I push my pants and underwear down just enough to get my dick out, then spit in my hand. After crudely lathering my dick I slap the rest against Tek’s rim.
Gripping just below my cock head, I line myself up and fuck into him in one hard thrust until my balls smack against his ass.
Tek cries out, and his hand flies up to cover it.
He bites down on the heel of his palm.
I reach for his mouth, pushing his hand away to force my fingers inside and press against his tongue.
His rim pinches at me, pulsing around my shaft.
I feel him gasp against my palm as I dig towards his throat.
He gags, giving me what I need.
I pull out and spit again, too. With the new, thick, mixture I coat my dick and slicken Tek’s hole.
When I push in the second time, it’s smoother, but still tight.
Still perfect.
Still the best ass I’ve ever had.
Tek grinds back against me, taking every inch, hands clawing for purchase.
I grab his jaw, crane his head further to the side, and jam my fingers back between his lips.
He bites down hard, but it’s what I wanted.
I want to feel his teeth. His tongue.
I want to feel everything.
With my full weight bearing down on him, I reach my free hand under his arm to grip his shoulder from beneath to give myself the extra leverage I need to fuck into him properly with full force.
“How dare you say such dumb shit," I scold directly into his ear.