Chapter 7
Cristox
I paced the length of Ruby's dining room for what felt like the hundredth time, my tail lashing behind me, betraying the anxiety coiling tight in my chest.
I'd faced down hostile forces on a dozen different planets. I'd survived combat situations that would've killed lesser warriors. I'd spent years as a top gladiator in the pits, staring death in the face more times than I could count.
But nothing—absolutely nothing—had prepared me for this moment.
My son was coming home. My son. A cub I hadn't known existed until an hour ago.
Ruby sat at the table, watching me with those beautiful hazel eyes. She'd shown me a photo, and the world had tilted beneath my feet. The cub—Teddy—had my eyes. My pelt coloring. The distinctive color and pattern of my mane, even at such a young age.
"He's beautiful," I'd whispered, my voice trembling with emotion I couldn't contain.
"He is," Ruby agreed softly, her voice thick with maternal pride. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me."
And now I understood why she'd asked me to keep the secret of Teddy's parentage. Why she'd been so protective, so guarded. She wasn't just protecting herself—she was protecting our son. A son who didn't know his father. A son who'd grown up without me.
The guilt was crushing. Even though I hadn't known, even though the fates had conspired to keep us apart, I felt the weight of four missed years pressing down on my soul.
First words. First steps. Birthdays and scraped knees and bedtime stories—all of it, gone.
Lost to time and circumstance and the cruel twist of fate that had separated us.
I stopped pacing and turned to Ruby, my heart in my throat. "What if he doesn't like me?"
Ruby's expression softened, her eyes full of an understanding that made my chest ache. "Cristox."
"What if he's afraid? I'm a stranger to him. A Stranac stranger." I ran a hand through my mane, the gesture agitated. "What if I say the wrong thing? Do the wrong thing?"
"You won't," Ruby said with quiet certainty that warmed something cold inside me. "Just be yourself. Children are more perceptive than we give them credit for."
I wanted to believe her. Goddess, how I wanted to believe her. To believe that somehow, despite everything, this could work. That I could be the father Teddy deserved.
But the fear remained, sharp and insistent in my chest.
Ruby thought I'd be leaving in a couple of weeks. Back to the Historia. Back to my duties, my crew, and the endless expanse of space.
But I didn't want to leave. Not anymore.
The thought of boarding the shuttle and watching this planet shrink in the viewport made my chest constrict with a pain I'd never experienced before. I wanted to stay here, on Tau Ceti, at their side.
I considered telling Ruby the truth—that she was my mate.
A fact I'd known since that night on planet Kwado, when our bodies had moved together in the darkness, and something fundamental had shifted in my soul.
That I'd thought of her every single day since, remembering her touch, the way she'd looked at me with those warm hazel eyes.
That I wanted to stay with her forever, to build a life together, to wake up beside her every morning for the rest of my days.
But now that I knew about Teddy, everything had changed.
The cub had to come first. My cub—our cub—who didn't know me, who had no reason to trust me, who might very well reject me entirely. I couldn't walk into his life and immediately upend it by declaring myself his mother's mate. I couldn't be selfish, not now. Not when there was so much at stake.
Teddy needed a father, and Ruby was my mate. And I needed to prove myself worthy of both before I could claim either.
A knock at the door startled me from my thoughts. I heard Mei's cheerful voice from the entryway, and then another voice—smaller, higher, filled with the boundless energy of childhood.
My heart nearly stopped.
Teddy.
I heard Mei's footsteps retreating, the door closing. Then Ruby's soft, warm voice spoke to our son. "I have a surprise for you, sweetheart. There's a new friend I want you to meet. A very special friend."
"Why is he special?" Teddy's voice was curious, unguarded in the way only younglings could be.
"Because he's a Stranac," Ruby said gently. "Like your father."
A beat of silence. Then, "Really?" The excitement in that single word made my throat tight with emotion.
"Really. He's in the dining room. Do you want to meet him?"
I heard the sound of small feet running, and then he was there.
The sight of my son nearly brought me to my knees.
He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
He had my eyes, the golden brown that marked our bloodline.
His mane was still short, the way most young Stranacs' were, but it was the same dark blonde as mine, shot through with hints of bronze.
But the rest of him was all Ruby—that upturned nose, that full, expressive mouth, the shape of his face, the way he held himself.
He was perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Teddy's eyes—my eyes—were bright and curious as he stared up at me. Then his face broke into a wide smile that lit up the entire room. "We look alike!" he said, his voice filled with wonder. "You have a mane like me!"
I crouched down to his level, my heart hammering so hard I was certain he could hear it. "That's because I'm a Stranac," I said, keeping my voice steady despite the emotion threatening to overwhelm me. "Like your father."
His smile faltered just a little. "I don't know my father," he said matter-of-factly, the way cubs do when they've accepted something as simply the way things are. "He had to go away before I was born."
The words hit me like a physical blow. My chest constricted, and for a moment I couldn't breathe. He didn't know me. Of course he didn't know me. But hearing him say it, seeing the innocent acceptance in his eyes—my eyes—nearly shattered me.
"Teddy," Ruby said gently, moving to stand beside him. She placed a hand on his shoulder, and I saw her swallow hard, fighting her own emotions. "This is Cristox. He's... he knew your father. They were friends."
Teddy's entire face lit up like she'd just told him the moon was made of candy. "You knew my dad?" He practically bounced on his feet, his tail swishing with excitement. "Really? You really knew him?"
"I did," I managed, my voice rougher than I intended, thick with the weight of everything I couldn't yet say.
The questions came rapid-fire after that, tumbling out of him faster than I could process. "What was he like? Was he tall? Did he have a mane like mine? Like yours? Mama says he was a warrior—was he really? Did you fight together? Did he—"
"Take a breath, Teddy," Ruby said with a soft laugh, though I could hear the tension underneath it, the worry that this might be too much, too soon.
But I held up a hand. "It's okay." I looked at my cub and felt something crack open inside my chest, something raw and vulnerable and achingly tender.
"Your father was... he was a good male. Brave.
Very brave." The words felt strange on my tongue, talking about myself this way, but they were true.
I'd been brave in battle—but never as brave as I needed to be in this moment.
"Mama told me that!" Teddy said proudly, puffing out his chest. "She said he was the bravest warrior she ever met.
She said he saved her." His voice dropped to something almost reverent, and my heart twisted painfully.
"She said he was good and brave and that he would've loved me if he could've stayed. "
I had to look away for a moment, blinking hard against the burning in my eyes. When I looked back, Ruby's eyes were glistening too, tears threatening to spill over.
"She's right," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "He would've loved you more than anything in the universe."
Teddy bounced on his toes, his tail swishing with barely contained energy. "Are you going to live here? On Tau Ceti?"
The question pierced straight through me. I wanted to say yes. Goddess, I wanted to say yes more than I'd wanted anything in my life. But I couldn't make that promise yet. Not when there was still so much unsettled, so much Ruby and I needed to work through.
"I'm... visiting right now," I said carefully, watching his face, memorizing every expression. "But I'll be here for a while. A good long while." I swallowed hard, knowing the next words could change everything. "Would you... would you like to spend some time together? While I'm here?"
His eyes went wide, shining with pure joy, and for a moment I thought he might actually vibrate out of his pelt with excitement. "Really? You mean it?"
"I mean it." The promise settled in my chest, solid and unshakeable.
He whirled toward Ruby, his voice rising with hope. "Mama! Can I? Please?"
Ruby's expression softened as she looked between us, and I saw her throat work as she swallowed. When she spoke, her voice was thick with emotion. "Of course you can, sweetheart."
"Maybe..." I stood slowly, meeting Ruby's gaze, letting her see everything I felt—the longing, the hope, the fierce determination to make this work. "Maybe your mom could join us, too?"
Something flickered in her eyes—surprise, maybe, or hope. Her lips parted slightly, and I could see her pulse fluttering at the base of her throat. "We'd like that," she said quietly, her voice full of promise. "We'd like that very much."