Chapter 14 #3
"I don't know, sweetheart. But he'll be here. I promise." My son felt the same way I did about Cristox leaving and knew, as I did, that the two weeks we'd been given were already up. I gestured toward the stove, trying to distract him. "I made spaghetti. Your favorite."
That perked him up a little, though I could still see the disappointment lingering in his eyes.
We ate together at the kitchen table, Teddy chattering about his outing—the flavors of ice cream, the games they'd played, something funny Lingse said, while I tried to focus on his words instead of the knot of anxiety tightening in my chest.
After dinner, I got him ready for bed. Teeth brushed thoroughly, pajamas on, his favorite stuffed bear tucked under his arm. But when I tried to tuck him in, smoothing the blankets around him, he sat up abruptly, his expression stubborn and determined.
"I want to wait for Cristox," he said, his jaw set in a way that reminded me painfully of his father.
"Teddy, it's late—"
"Please, Mama? I just want to say goodnight. I won't stay up long, I promise."
I sighed, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "He might be really late, buddy. You need your sleep."
Teddy's lower lip jutted out in a pout, and he hugged his bear tighter. "But what if he doesn't come back?"
My heart clenched. "He will. I promise."
"You promise promise?"
"I promise promise." I held up my pinky, and he hooked his with mine, sealing the vow.
He seemed to consider this, his brow furrowing thoughtfully, then looked up at me with those big, earnest eyes. "Mama?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you love Cristox?"
The question hit me like a punch to the chest. I opened my mouth, then closed it, my mind scrambling for the right words, the honest words.
"I..." I swallowed hard and responded the only way I could. "Yeah, Teddy. I do."
His face lit up like the sun breaking through clouds, a smile breaking across his features that was pure joy. "I love him too."
My throat tightened with emotion, and I reached out to brush his hair back from his forehead. "I know you do, sweetheart."
Teddy was quiet for a moment, his fingers fidgeting with the bear's ear. Then, in a small, almost hesitant voice, he asked, "Do you think... do you think Cristox would want to stay here and be my dad?"
Oh, God.
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, hot and insistent, and I had to blink them back to keep them from falling. I cupped his cheek, my thumb brushing over his soft skin, marveling at how small he still was.
"No doubt about it," I whispered, my voice coming out thick around the lump in my throat.
Teddy's smile widened until it seemed to take over his whole face, and he threw his arms around my neck, hugging me tight enough to squeeze the air from my lungs.
I held him close, breathing in the familiar scent of his shampoo, feeling the steady beat of his heart against mine, memorizing this moment.
When he finally pulled back, his eyes were drooping with exhaustion, fighting to stay open. "Okay," he murmured sleepily. "I'll go to sleep. But tell Cristox I waited for him, okay?"
"I will," I promised.
I tucked him in again, smoothing the blankets and kissing his forehead, and watched as his eyes fluttered closed. Within minutes, his breathing evened out into the deep, steady rhythm of sleep, his face relaxing into peaceful innocence.
I stood there for a long moment, just watching him, my heart aching with a fierce, protective love that threatened to overwhelm me.
We needed to tell him the truth. About Cristox being his father. About everything.
But first, I needed to know whether Cristox was planning to stay or leave us behind.
An hour later, I sat curled up on the sofa, trying to distract myself with one of the romance novels Mei kept stashed in her basement—historical romances with heaving bosoms and improbable plots.
The heroine was just about to confess her feelings to the brooding Scottish warrior when I heard the front door open, the sound making my heart leap.
I looked up, my pulse quickening.
Cristox stepped inside, looking exhausted but somehow more settled than I'd seen him in days, like something missing had finally clicked into place. The peacekeeper's badge gleamed on his jacket, catching the lamplight.
"Hey," I said softly, setting the book aside. "The badge looks good on you."
He glanced down at it and laughed, a low, rumbling sound that made warmth spread through my chest. "Does it? It feels strange."
"You wear it well." I tried to keep my voice light, casual, even as my heart hammered against my ribs.
He crossed the room with that impossible grace and sank down onto the sofa beside me, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body and smell him—something warm and spicy and uniquely Cristox.
His tail curled loosely near my leg, the tip twitching slightly, and I had to resist the urge to reach out and touch it.
"The Alliance is sending someone," he said after a moment, his voice tired. "Should be here within the week. They'll take over the investigation, handle the peacekeeper duties until they catch whoever's behind all this."
My stomach dropped like a stone.
"Oh," I managed, the word coming out small. I cleared my throat. "That's... that's good. Fast."
"Yeah." He rubbed a hand over his face, his claws catching slightly in the stubble along his jaw. "They're taking it seriously. Priority response."
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to say the words even though they felt like glass in my throat, cutting me as they came out. "So you can leave then. When they arrive."
His head snapped toward me, golden eyes sharp and suddenly alert. "What?"
"I know you stayed longer than you planned," I said, looking down at my hands, unable to meet his gaze. My vision blurred slightly, and I blinked hard, refusing to cry. "You have your life, your work aboard the ship. You don't have to—"
"Ruby."
The way he said my name—firm, almost commanding, but with a raw edge—made me stop mid-sentence and look at him.
His expression was intense, almost fierce, and something in his gaze made my breath catch.
"I don't want to leave," he said quietly, each word deliberate.
My heart flipped in my chest. "You... what?"
"I don't want to leave," he repeated, his voice rougher now, raw with emotion. His tail twitched, the tip curling and uncurling in a way that seemed almost nervous. "I don't want to go back to the Historia. I don't want to leave you and Teddy."
I stared at him, unable to form words, my mind trying to process what he was saying, what it meant.
"Ruby, I need to tell you something." He shifted closer, eliminating the small space between us, and his hand came up to cup my face, his palm warm against my cheek, his thumb brushing gently across my cheekbone.
The touch was so tender it made my chest ache.
"Back on Kwado, when I first saw you, when I first touched you, something happened to me. "
"What do you mean?" My voice was barely a whisper.
His tail moved again, this time sliding closer to my leg, the tip brushing against my calf in a touch that felt intimate, meaningful.
"My tail," he said, his voice dropping lower.
"It tingled. Like electricity running through it, like nothing I'd ever felt before.
I've heard about it my whole life—stories, legends, warnings—but I never thought.
.." He paused, his honey-brown eyes searching mine with an intensity that made me feel exposed, vulnerable. "You're my mate, Ruby."
The world seemed to tilt sideways.
"Your... mate?"
"Yes." His hand was still on my face, his touch grounding me even as everything else spun out of control.
"I knew it then. I've known it the whole time.
And I tried to tell myself it didn't matter.
That you might not want me, that you had your life here, and I had mine on the ship.
But I can't do it anymore. I can't pretend.
Craig's funeral reminded me just how short and precious life is, that we shouldn't waste time. "
Tears streamed down my face now, hot and fast. I couldn't stop them. I didn't even try.
"Cristox—"
"I want to stay," he said, his voice fierce and certain, leaving no room for doubt. "I want to be here with you. With Teddy. I want to be your mate, Ruby. I want to be his father, if you'll let me. If he'll let me."
A sob broke free from my throat, raw and uncontrolled, and suddenly his arms were around me, pulling me against his chest. I buried my face in his shoulder, breathing in his scent while my body shook with the force of my emotions.
His arms tightened around me, and I felt his lips press against the top of my head, tender and loving.
I pulled back just enough to look up at him, and the expression on his face—the raw emotion, the vulnerability, the love shining in his eyes—took my breath away.
"Teddy's going to be so happy," I said, laughing through my tears, the sound watery but undeniably joyful. "He asked me if you could be his dad."
Cristox's eyes widened, his pupils dilating, and then something soft and almost broken crossed his face. "He did?"
"Yeah." I reached up to trace the line of his jaw with my fingertips, feeling the texture of his pelt, the warmth underneath my touch. "He loves you." I paused, my heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. "I love you too."
Something fierce and possessive flashed in his eyes, and then he was kissing me, deep and desperate and full of everything we'd been holding back. His tail wrapped around my leg, holding me close, claiming me, and I melted into him, surrendering completely to the heat building between us.
When we finally broke apart, both of us breathing hard, our foreheads pressed together, his voice came out rough and thick with desire. "I love you, Ruby. Goddess, I love you so much."
"Show me," I whispered, the words barely audible but unmistakable in their meaning.