Chapter 16
Ruby
My hands trembled as I pushed through the front door of the guest house, my basket of unsold goods still hanging from my arm. The news about Clemon Peters had spread through the market like wildfire, and each retelling made my chest tighter, my breathing shallower.
Dead. Clemon was dead.
I set the basket down with a heavy thunk and pressed my palms against the kitchen counter, trying to steady myself.
The cool stone beneath my fingers did nothing to stop the shaking.
The image of Clemon's weathered face kept swimming before my eyes—his gap-toothed grin, the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed at his own jokes.
He'd been ornery and spirited, but so kind to Teddy and me.
And now he was gone, snuffed out like a candle in an unforgiving wind.
"Ruby?" Mei's voice drifted from the doorway, soft as silk and laced with concern.
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. My heart felt like it was shattering into a thousand pieces, each shard cutting deeper than the last. I'd fled the market early, unable to smile and make small talk while darkness closed in around me.
I'd gone straight to the library, desperate to see Teddy, to reassure myself he was safe.
He'd been curled up in the children's corner with a picture book, his adorable giggle floating through the air as he shared a joke with another child.
Afternoon sunlight had streamed through the windows, catching in his mane and making it shine like spun gold.
I'd stood frozen in the doorway, unable to interrupt that innocent happiness, unable to drag him home just to satisfy my overwhelming need to hold him close.
So I'd left him there—safe, happy, blissfully unaware—and come back here to fall apart in private.
I finally looked up at Mei, and the tears I'd been desperately holding back spilled over, hot and bitter on my cheeks. "What's happening, Mei? Why is this all happening?"
The questions tumbled through my mind like stones in a river. Craig, Clemon, and I—how were we connected? Why would anyone want to hurt us?
Mei crossed the room and pulled me into her embrace.
Her arms were warm and solid, anchoring me when I felt like I might drift away on a tide of fear.
"I don't know what's happening," she murmured.
"I wish I did. But I know one thing. I made the right decision appointing Cristox as peacekeeper.
He's going to figure this out, Ruby. He won't let anything happen to you or Teddy. "
I nodded against her shoulder, clinging to that promise like a lifeline.
She pulled back, studying my face with those sharp, knowing eyes. "Are you happy? With Cristox?"
A small smile tugged at my lips. "I love him, Mei. We're together now. Really together."
Her expression softened, happiness flooding her delicate features. "I'm glad. You both deserve that." She hesitated, then asked gently, "Does Teddy know? That Cristox is his father?"
I shook my head, smile fading and my voice catching. "Not yet. We wanted to wait until things settled down." My words cracked like thin ice. "But now I'm scared they never will. What if something else happens before we get the chance to tell him? What if—"
"Don't," Mei said firmly, squeezing my hand. "Don't go there."
I made some tea and Mei and I settled on the sofa, sinking into the worn cushions that had molded to our bodies over countless evenings just like this one.
The warm ceramic mug felt comforting in my hands as steam rose between us.
We talked about everything and nothing—the new menu at the diner on Main Street, the issue with the grass at the park that would do nothing but remain a stubborn shade of puce, the escaped pig that had caused havoc at the sewing circle last week—everything and nothing, trying desperately to keep from talking about the darkness that seemed to have settled over Tau Ceti like a plague.
It hung in the air between us, unspoken but ever-present, like a shadow we were both pretending not to see.
We laughed a little too loudly at jokes that weren't quite funny enough, and filled every silence with more words, more observations, anything to avoid acknowledging what we both knew was there.
The front door slammed open with such force that both Mei and I jumped, my heart leaping into my throat.
Teddy stormed in, his face blotchy and red, tears streaming down his cheeks in silvery rivulets.
His backpack hung forgotten off one shoulder, and his tiny hands were balled into trembling fists.
"Teddy!" I rushed toward him, my maternal instincts overriding everything else. "What happened? Are you hurt?"
"Is it true?" he demanded, his young voice cracking. He swiped angrily at his tears, but more kept coming, faster than he could wipe them away. "Is Cristox my dad?"
The world tilted beneath my feet. I felt Mei's steadying hand on my back, but I couldn't look away from my son's devastated face. His eyes—Cristox's eyes—were filled with such raw hurt and betrayal that it physically pained me.
"Teddy, sweetheart—"
"Some lady at the library said it!" His voice rose, shrill with pain. "She said everyone knows. She called me stupid because I didn't even notice how much we look alike!" A sob broke through, raw and ragged, tearing at my heart. "She laughed at me, Mama! She said I was too dumb to know my own dad!"
My chest constricted painfully. Some lady.
It wasn't difficult to guess who. Charlene, that fucking, spiteful bitch. It didn’t escape my notice how she’d watched us, at Craigs funeral and the market, her gaze hateful.
I felt suddenly grateful Cristox was the peacekeeper and my best friend the mayor because I'd need them to get me out of jail after I kicked her ass.
But right now, Teddy needed me most. I dropped to my knees before him, reaching for his small hands, but he yanked them away as if my touch burned.
"Is it true?" he asked again, his voice smaller now, broken and pleading.
I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. Cristox and I had planned to tell him together. But I couldn’t keep it from Teddy any longer. "Yes," I whispered. "Yes, baby. Cristox is your father."
Teddy's face crumpled like paper crushed in an unforgiving fist. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"We were going to tell you," I said desperately, words tumbling over each other. "We wanted to wait until things calmed down, until—"
"You lied to me!" The accusation struck like a slap, knocking the air from my lungs. "You both lied!"
"No, Teddy, that's not—"
"I hate you!" The words pierced my heart like daggers of ice. "I hate both of you!"
He turned and ran, his footsteps pounding down the hallway like drumbeats of my breaking heart. A moment later, his bedroom door slammed so hard the walls shook.
I stayed frozen on my knees, unable to breathe, unable to move. Unable to do anything but kneel there while my world shattered around me like fragile glass. Mei knelt beside me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders, holding me together.
"Ruby," she said softly. "He doesn't mean it. He's hurt and confused, but he doesn't mean it."
"I should go after him," I managed, though my legs felt like lead. “He must feel so betrayed.”
"Give him a moment," Mei advised, her tone gentle but firm. "Let him process and calm down. Then you can talk to him."
I nodded numbly, letting her guide me to the sofa. She busied herself making another pot of tea, the familiar ritual providing small comfort in the chaos.
But I couldn't sit still. My stomach churned with guilt. I pressed my hand against my mouth, fighting the nausea as I imagined my little boy hurt and upset.
"This is my fault," I whispered, the words like broken glass in my throat. "We should have told him. We should have told him from the beginning."
"Ruby—"
"No." I shook my head, fresh tears streaming down my face. "He found out from a stranger, Mei. Can you imagine? Having someone you don't even know tell you who your father is?" My voice broke. "He must have felt so humiliated. So betrayed."
"You were doing what you thought was best," Mei said gently, setting down the tea kettle.
"My best wasn't good enough." The words tasted bitter as ash.
"He's hurt—"
"Because of me!" I stood abruptly, pacing like a caged animal. "What kind of mother does that make me?"
The truth sat like a stone in my chest. I'd kept silent to protect myself.
If Teddy knew, if he bonded with Cristox, if we became a real family and then Cristox walked away, it wouldn't just break Teddy's heart.
It would shatter mine. I'd wrapped my cowardice in motherly concern and called it sacrifice.
I sank back onto the couch, burying my face in my hands. The weight of it all pressed down on me. Every lie by omission, every time I'd changed the subject when Teddy asked about his father, every careful deflection that had seemed so necessary at the time.
"I saw his face, Mei," I choked out. "He's four years old. He shouldn't have to feel that kind of betrayal. Not from me. Never from me."
Mei moved closer, her hand hovering near my shoulder but not quite touching, as if she knew I didn't deserve comfort right now.
"All this time, I told myself I was protecting him," I continued, my voice raw. "But I was just protecting myself from the possibility of losing Cristox again. And now I've lost Teddy instead." The realization hit me like a physical blow. "God, what have I done?"
My little boy—my sweet, curious, trusting little boy—had looked at me with such pain in his eyes. Eyes that used to light up whenever I walked into a room. And I'd put that pain there. Me. No one else.
"He deserved the truth," I whispered. "He deserved so much better than what I gave him."
I stood, striding toward his bedroom with sudden determination. Mei didn’t attempt to stop me.