Chapter 5
Five
Growth
We have all been summoned again to Big Wang’s study.
Lord Aengus sits in a new vase on a huali armchair, a less precious blue-and-white vessel that Big Wang was happier to gift to Lord Aengus’s puddle of a body.
The hulijing delegates stand in a row by the door, heads bowed, folded hands held chest high.
Despite their hands being hidden beneath the voluminous cuffs of their water sleeves, the delicate fabric trembles and gives away their fear.
When the door opens, it is not a vision of gentleness and joy which greets us.
My dear, sweet, infanticidal grandmother Niang Niang, matriarch of the hulijing, stands there in all her casually cruel majesty, eyes ablaze with displeasure.
Crimson diaphanous silk cascades from her shoulders, her swollen bosom heaving from their embroidered confines.
A triple loop of jet-black hair studded with jewelled hairpins crowns her head.
Niang Niang wrinkles her nose as if noticing something malodorous, and holds her water sleeve to her face. ‘Big Wang, I don’t know how you can live with such stink.’
She means me, of course. My grandmother is nothing if not predictable.
When I was a toddler her courtiers used to scrub me until I bled. Niang Niang claimed my half-vampire heritage made me stink like a corpse.
‘It’s wonderful to see you, dearest grandmother.’ I sniff my armpits delicately. ‘I’ve been told by quite a few deities that I smell delightful – like calamansi limes with a twist of chilli. Personally, I much prefer fruit to fish. Especially old fish.’ I smile with all my teeth.
Big Wang makes a sound in his throat, half grunt, half cough.
A sneer twists my grandmother’s lips and makes her look monstrous. As monstrous as she is inside. I smirk, enjoying this glimpse of her true self.
Big Wang stands, keen to minimise any risk of a brawl. ‘Thank you for making the time to discuss Lord Aengus’s injuries and the logistics of getting him home.’
Niang Niang side-eyes Big Wang. Ever since she discovered he outmanoeuvred her not only to save me but to keep her from getting her hands on my dragon pearl, she has nothing but enmity for him.
She glides across the floor to stand before Lady Xi.
‘You disappoint me,’ Niang Niang says, her voice calm and reasonable. With unexpected speed, she slaps her, hard. Lady Xi doesn’t even have time to whimper before she slams into the ground.
At Lord Aengus’s sharp inhale I catch his eye and shake my head, urging him not to speak.
While her taunting doesn’t hurt me much anymore, I wouldn’t wish her brand of toxicity on anyone else.
He seems to understand because he presses his lips together, though his blue eyes harden – the first time I’ve seen Lord Aengus show his temper.
The hulijing courtiers visibly shake, tears stream down their cheeks, but they make no noise.
Not even Lady Xi, on the floor, head bowed, shoulders heaving with silent sobs.
The acrid tang of their terror fills the room.
That smell, and the way the courtiers cower, reminds me of how I cowered at her feet as a child, my own stink of fear. Something snaps inside me. She had no right then, and she has no right now.
I step between Niang Niang and the cowering courtiers. Big Wang tilts his head at my movement. A very subtle tell only those in his inner circle would catch. Now that my brain has caught up with my body, I’m as surprised as he is.
But the thrill from giving rein to my impulses makes me reckless. ‘This humble one basks in your glory, venerable Matriarch,’ I say, syrupy sweet. ‘I am glad to see you are well and still enjoy inflicting casual violence on those around you.’
Her nostrils flare delicately. I smile widely because I know she is itching to hurt me, but with Big Wang by my side, she doesn’t dare. I decide then and there my goal is to get her to stamp her foot. Her frustration brings me so much joy.
She crosses her arms and taps her imperial jade nail guard against the thick cream and crimson jade bangle on her wrist. ‘I see you are as impudent as ever. Wang, you ought to educate her better.’
Big Wang grunts.
I hold onto my mahjong face so as not to give Niang Niang any ammunition, but my metaphorical eyebrow goes up.
Way up, past my hairline. With any other minister, Big Wang would make up some piss-fart platitude to apologise for my rudeness, especially as she’s my elder.
But a grunt? I hadn’t appreciated until now just how much Big Wang dislikes my grandmother. My heart swells with fondness.
Niang Niang is not insensible to the insult. ‘A tiger does not birth dogs,’ she says.
‘Meow,’ I say, swiping the air with pretend claws.
Big Wang flashes red pupils my way. Oops, took it a little too far. I mouth Contain my apologies.
‘To the matter at hand,’ he says. ‘Venerable Matriarch, we need to agree on a minister to accompany Lord Aengus back to Inis Fáil and ensure he arrives safely.’
Niang Niang waves a dismissive hand. ‘Send your mongrel.’
There’s a slight pause. Big Wang levels a cold gaze at my grandmother. ‘Venerable Matriarch, Lady Jing is not a Minister of the Hulijing Court.’
Though I’m careful to keep my expression blank, inside I stand a little taller at Big Wang taking my side. The hulijing created this mafan and they should be the ones to fix it.
Ignoring Big Wang, she sneers at Lord Aengus. ‘Are foreigners all that ugly?’
Lord Aengus blinks. Hurt crosses his face before he can hide it. That pang of concern hits me again. I twitch my shoulder, not liking this tender side that seems to grow like unwanted mould.
‘Venerable Matriarch, mind your words,’ Big Wang says, voice low with warning.
‘Lord Aengus is fluent in the language of Tian. What’s more, the Tuatha Dé are Treaty members.
Any insult would require the Hulijing Court to make reparations.
’ Big Wang leans forward. ‘Can you afford that? Your court is still paying reparations to the Jade Emperor and the Ministry of Hell for your most recent breaches of the Treaty of Mount Kunlun.’
‘No need to lecture me, Wang.’ Niang Niang’s lips curl into a vicious smile and she offers Lord Aengus a desultory bow. ‘Contain my outburst, Lord Aengus. I am too direct.’
Lady Min pipes up. ‘Venerable Matriarch, Brother— I mean, Lord Aengus is a favourite of Queen Mother of the West. She came specially to give him a gourdful of her elixir!’
At the mention of Queen Mother of the West, Niang Niang’s demeanour changes; the malicious glint is gone, replaced with an anxious hopefulness. It’s like she’s stepped out of her skin and donned a new face. It’s off-putting.
I know what’s behind her eager-to-please persona.
Old Zao once told me that every Spring Festival, Queen Mother of the West used to gift Niang Niang large jars of royal jelly and propolis made by the bees in her immortality peach grove, and at least once a year invited Niang Niang to her home in Mount Kunlun.
But, not long after I moved to yin Shanghai, the gifts and invitations stopped.
Niang Niang pleaded and cajoled for an explanation, but couldn’t even elicit a response.
After decades of trying, Queen Mother of the West finally began responding to her letters.
But last year, Niang Niang attacked Tony, not knowing Queen Mother of the West had blessed him with her protection, and the communication stopped again.
‘Her elixir? The one with immortality peach resin?’ Niang Niang’s voice has taken on a girly breathlessness. It makes me want to gag.
‘The special one, with immortality peach resin and royal jelly and propolis from her apiary!’ Lady Min says.
Niang Niang pats her hair, straightens her robe. ‘Why didn’t you say sooner! Is she still here? I must find her, pay my respects.’
And try to wheedle a pot of Queen Mother of the West’s special elixir, no doubt. My grandmother is nothing if not shameless.
She stares at Lord Aengus with a calculating intensity. ‘Since Lord Aengus is a favourite of hers, perhaps I should accompany him myself to the Tuatha Dé Pantheon.’
Putting Lord Aengus at the mercy of my sadistic grandmother is a terrible idea. Big Wang catches my eye and gives a look that says Stop talking. I smile sweetly. No rotted way.
‘Make sure you take care, Grandmother,’ I say. ‘Long-distance travel is so tiring. It’s very hard on the skin, and we know how much you hate wrinkles.’
She stiffens, a hand on her cheek before she can stop herself. I almost laugh. But instead of insisting her ministers take her place, she says, ‘I’m sure I’ll have enough sustenance to keep me fresh.’ Her expression takes on a predatory glint. ‘Lord Aengus, is it?’
Lord Aengus holds her gaze, but he seems to shrink into himself. I can scent his fear, but he doesn’t look to us for help. It occurs to me he has no one here he truly trusts, and it ignites a blaze of pity, anger, and self-righteousness.
Big Wang and I speak at the same time. ‘We—’ he starts. But the higher pitch of my voice easily drowns out his low rumble. My words ring through the room: ‘I’ll deliver Lord Aengus.’
‘You will?’ Lord Aengus says.
I stare at him, mentally replaying my words. Big Wang frowns. I stand very still, panicking. Why is it when I’m reminded of my pathetic past self, my mouth runs off without my brain? I really need to remember to count to ten before I speak.
The hulijing courtiers turn wide shimmering eyes my way.
They dare not speak to me within earshot of Niang Niang, but their terror has subsided.
I suppose, at the very least, I should be happy I’ve managed to thwart Niang Niang’s attempts to terrorise others.
I stare at the ceiling. Is it too late for me to take back my words?
Niang Niang smiles shrewdly. ‘Since Minister of Hell Lady Jing herself made the offer, how can I refuse?’
Big Wang makes a soft mmmgh, clearly unhappy. He gives me a look that says, If you plant gourds, you’ll get gourds. If you plant beans, you’ll get beans. If you roll in turds on purpose, it’s not my responsibility to clean you up.
‘Are we agreed then, Brother Wang?’
‘We are agreed.’
At the door, Niang Niang says, ‘I will deal with your failures on your return to Court.’
As soon as the door shuts, the courtiers clamour to speak. It takes a few seconds before I realise they are thanking me.
‘Abundant gratitude noble, kind, generous Lady Jing,’ Lady Xi says. ‘If not for you, we would have likely had to travel with our matriarch. It is not pleasant to be in such close proximity, especially when she is in a bad mood.’
They are so loud my headache is in danger of returning.
‘May sherrr,’ I lie.
The furrow in Big Wang’s brow deepens. He inclines his head to the courtiers. ‘If you will excuse us, I have some matters to discuss with Lady Jing.’