Chapter 27
SABINE
“I’m sorry, Best.”
Sabine looked up from her laptop, startled by the voice at her office door. Narri stood there, hand on the frame, lips already twisted like she was bracing herself.
“A heads up woulda been nice.” Sabine leaned back in her chair, rubbing the space between her brows. Narri dropped into the seat across from her and crossed her legs with a sigh.
“I know, I know but I’ve been talking to Adair, as you probably realize by now and as much as I hate to admit it, his bitch ass is...he’s really sorry, Bine.”
“He finally got you,” Sabine scoffed.
“No!” Narri denied. “No, you know I’m the first one to call him out and never let him forget the way he hurt you.
Betrayed you…I just…I think even if you don’t take him back, which you ain’t obligated to, he still wants your forgiveness.
Like real forgiveness. Not the polite nods at Ade exchanges kind either. That man in a lot of pain.”
“Pain he put himself in.”
“Oh, no doubt,” Narri said quickly, holding her hands up. “He earned every ache in that dumbass chest of his. I’m just sayin’…he’s suffering too. Not that it’s yours to carry or care about, but…he is.”
Sabine finally looked at her best friend, something bitter and fragile sitting right behind her eyes. “He told me Corrine’s on the Aderra deal.”
Narri grimaced. “Yeah…he told me too.”
“And you didn’t say anything?”
“Of course I cursed his ass out, but he wanted to tell you himself and I thought that you should hear it from him too, Bine,” Narri reached across the desk grabbing her hand.
“I know we don’t keep secrets but…” she sighed.
“He was just so pitiful with his ugly self,” she pouted causing Sabine to chuckle.
“I told his ass he had forty-eight hours to tell you before I told you myself.”
Not responding to anything else, Sabine latched to, “he is ugly, isn’t he?”
“Oh, girl please!” Narri snatched away flagging her off. “Your ass didn’t think he was ugly last night.”
Gasping, Sabine’s hand went to her chest. “How did you know?”
“I didn’t, your sneaky slutty ass just told me! You slept with him Bine?!”
“Shhhhhhhh,” she hopped up, going around the desk, racing to the door to close it all the way. “Let the whole office know why don’t you.”
“What? That you slept with your ex-husband last night.”
Looking down at her pump, Sabine avoided eye contact, responding, “and the night I went out with Harlan,” she mumbled.
“WHAT?” Narri hopped up.
“Will you hush!”
“Sorry, sorry, sorry.”
“Come here,” Sabine waved her over to the sitting area of her office and they took a seat on the sofa.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“My emotions and feelings and hormones have been all over the place.”
“Okay, how was it?”
“Narri!” Sabine slapped her thigh.
“What? As if you weren’t comparing then to now.” Narri leaned in. “Did anything change?” she whispered.
Sabine bit her bottom lip not wanting to give in but she couldn’t resist her best friend in the entire world. “God, no,” she nearly groaned and Narri tapped her feet giddily. “It was amazing…it was…it was…it was us, Nar.” Then she broke down. “It was us so fucking much.”
“Awwww, come here,” Narri scooted closer holding her.
Sabine’s shoulders shook, her face buried in Narri’s neck as the tears spilled out hot, sudden, and deep. Narri held her tighter, one hand cradling the back of her head, the other rubbing slow circles into her spine.
“I got you. I got you. Let it out, best.”
Sabine inhaled sharply, pulling away just enough to speak through the sobs. “I hate that it felt like home. I hate that my body still knows his. I hate that I missed him so much that my heart acted like nothing ever happened.”
“But something did,” Narri said gently, brushing a curl from Sabine’s damp cheek. “A lot did.”
“I know,” she sniffled, pulling at the sleeve of her blazer. “But the way he held me last night…like he still knew me. Like his arms haven’t forgot how I fit. I felt safe again, and I hate that because I’m not supposed to.”
“You’re not supposed to feel safe with someone who hurt you,” Narri echoed.
“Exactly.” Sabine’s voice cracked. “But I did and now I feel like a traitor to myself.”
“You’re not.” Narri squeezed her hand. “You’re just human.
A woman who’s been through hell. A woman who lost her baby.
Who carried all that pain alone. Who got betrayed, abandoned, overlooked and still found the strength to build something.
You aren’t betraying yourself by needing softness.
Especially not from the one person who should’ve given it to you from the start. ”
Sabine nodded slowly, her lashes wet. “He asked me not to stop loving him. I told him I couldn’t love him the same anymore. And you know what he said?”
“What?”
“He said I didn’t have to. Just not to stop.”
“Oh damn.”
“It wrecked me, Nar,” Sabine whispered. “Because I don’t think I ever really stopped. I just tucked it under the grief.”
“That’s love, best. Real love don’t die, it just hides when it’s been hurt too much.”
“It’s like every time I get my balance back, some part of him tips the scale again.”
“I get it,” Narri said gently. “But listen, he isn’t the same man who let you go the first time. You know me of all people would not vouch for that asshole…but honey…I think…I think it’s time.”
“Time for what?”
“Time,” Narri emphasized and Sabine’s eyes glossed because she knew exactly what her best friend meant. They’d had one of those nights. One of the sacred ones.
Wine glass after wine glass, turned straight from the bottle; legs tangled on the couch, hair tied up and edges sweated out, eyes glossy from laughter and pain.
Just the two of them. No filters. No pretending.
The kind of night that came after a long cry and a long silence—when both had been holding too much for too long.
She remembered how Narri poured another glass, sat cross-legged in a hoodie two sizes too big, and said:
“Okay. One ugly truth we never tell nobody else. Go.”
Sabine had laughed at first. Brushed it off but the wine was in her blood and the ache was too close to her skin, and before she knew it, the words tumbled out, quiet and broken.
“I think in a few years…I’ll take him back…only if he’s truly sorry.”
Narri hadn’t flinched. Hadn’t judged. She just blinked slowly, nodded once, and said, “Okay…then when it’s time, all I’ll say is I think it’s time…and we don’t even gotta talk about it.”
That was the deal. That was the vault and now, here they were. Different year, different chapter but same kind of ache. Same kind of truth.
Sabine looked at her best friend now, seeing that same patience in her eyes and she knew. This was it. Narri was saying it, without having to say it.
I think it’s time.
And it didn’t mean she was healed. It didn’t mean she forgot. It didn’t mean she owed Adair anything. It just meant…she’d always known her heart might find its way back and Narri had always known how to stand beside her when it did.
Sabine swallowed hard. The room was too quiet. Her body was too full of noise, but she felt that warmth between them again. That quiet agreement forged in the honesty of two broken women who had seen each other through every version of love and loss.
And it scared the shit out of her.
Because maybe it really was time.
“He’s trying, Sabine. Nigga even took me out for lunch the other day so I know it was real. He know my ass like to eat,” she joked then reigned it in quickly. “I saw it. Felt it. He looked like he was carrying Ariyah’s ghost on his back the whole time we talked.”
At that, Sabine’s throat thickened.
“I’m not saying forgive him today,” Narri said. “But if he’s showing up with real regret, not just guilt, maybe…just maybe that means something…it’s only for you to feel though. Only you will know if that man is truly remorseful and deserves you back.”
Sabine stood, walking over to the window. The city buzzed outside, a blur of motion that didn’t stop for heartbreak or healing. She wrapped her arms around herself.
“Knowing…she is going to be in meetings. Knowing I have to walk into conference rooms and they will be on the same side…how do I know that won’t set what I feel now back? How do I even face that?”
“You ain’t gotta face her. You gotta face you.
The you who’s still healing. The you who’s still hurting.
The you who knows how to pick herself up when everybody else moves on.
” Narri stood and walked to Sabine’s side, voice firmer now.
“You don’t owe her shit but fuck that bitch, this isn’t even about her, it never was.
Let’s just see how serious Adair really is when all of us are sitting around that conference table. ”
Narri was right. It was never about Corrine.
That woman had just been the blade but Adair handed her the handle.
Still, even with all the blood, Sabine had never stopped wondering what it would feel like to stop bracing for the next cut.
To stop punishing him for what he couldn’t undo.
To stop punishing herself for still giving a damn.
Because she did.
She still gave a damn.
And that…was the part that scared her most.
“I…I do think he’s trying.” Sabine’s lips trembled.
“Then let him try but don’t let him bypass the parts of you that still don’t feel safe. That’s what you did last time. You held your breath to keep the peace. Don’t do that again, Bine. You deserve air. This time, you stand up for yourself. Defend yourself. Your family.”
Sabine let out a long, jagged exhale. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to look at me like I’m weak.”