Chapter 31 #2
“Hell naw, this hardheaded nigga that I pushed out my body tellin’ me this ain’t my business?
No, no, it is my business because when both y’all asses couldn’t even face each other, who was the middleman?
Picking up the slack on both ends for that boy because his parents couldn’t get it together!
I gave y’all some grace because I knew it would take some time cause y’all was so young gettin’ together and I told Adair he should’ve waited but he was so in love he couldn’t see straight.
And I ain’t mad at that, ‘cause Lord knows love’ll make you brave and stupid all at the same time.
But I told him…I told him marriage don’t fix immaturity.
Babies don’t fix broken things and when it all came tumblin’ down, who was left tryin’ to patch the pieces for that baby?
” She pointed toward the backyard where Ade’s laughter floated in from the open window.
“I was. I was the one explaining why Daddy wasn’t there yet.
Why Mommy didn’t want to talk on the phone when he gave it to her.
Why y’all couldn’t be in the same damn room without it turning into some cold silence or a fight y’all thought he didn’t hear.
So yeah, I got a right to ask what this is because if y’all just playin’, or just lonely, or just tryin’ to feel somethin’ familiar, I need you to say that.
To me.” Pam’s voice cracked then. Just a little but she didn’t let herself fall apart.
“Because I love y’all. Both of y’all but I adore that little boy and I’ll be damned if I sit quiet and watch him get his hopes up just to watch ‘em drop again.”
The silence that followed was pressing. Like truth had taken up space in the room and neither of them had figured out how to breathe around it yet.
Sabine felt it first in her chest, a familiar tightness, the kind that came when someone said something so real it pierced the armor you didn’t even know you were still wearing.
Her eyes shifted toward the window, to the sound of Ade’s carefree laughter bouncing off the breeze, and a dull ache formed just under her ribs.
Ade really was watching, she thought. Always had been.
Even when they tried to shield him. Even when she told herself he was too little to understand.
Pam’s words peeled back all her reasons, all her rationalizations, and exposed the one thing she didn’t want to face: if she couldn’t be sure of this—of them—she had no business letting her son believe it was whole again.
Across from her, Adair’s jaw was tight, his eyes low, fists gently curled at his sides. Not defensive. Not angry. Just...a man being reminded of every time he fell short and why he couldn’t afford to again. She’s right, he thought. His mother had always been right.
Pam had never sugarcoated anything, not even when he didn’t want to hear it.
Especially then. And now? Now, it wasn’t just a lecture.
It was a mirror and in it, he saw himself—young, headstrong, in love, and foolish enough to think the weight of marriage, kids, and ambition wouldn’t crush the things he failed to nurture.
Adair reached for Sabine’s hand and she didn’t pull away. He breathed a sigh of relief; it was telling him that although their past wasn’t an easy thing to overcome, still, she was here. Willing. Standing beside him.
Sabine was the first to speak, her voice soft.
“You’re not wrong,” she said. “None of what you said was wrong. This wasn’t…
planned. Not like this and I don’t know where it’s going.
I really don’t but I’ve seen him trying.
I’ve felt it and I know what it means to him.
” She glanced at Adair then, her voice trembling a little.
“And it means something to me too but I’m scared because I was broken and being around him again, feeling all this again…
it’s like finding the pieces but not being sure they fit the same way. ”
Adair squeezed her hand, then finally spoke.
“I’m not tryna fit the same way,” he said.
“I’m tryna be better. For her. For me. For our son.
” He looked at his mother now. “I know what I lost and I know I can’t ask anybody to believe in me overnight but I ain’t playin’, Ma.
I’m not lookin’ for nostalgia. I’m lookin’ for the woman I should’ve protected better and loved harder the first time. If she’ll have me again.”
Pam didn’t respond right away. Her eyes moved between them. Then she exhaled slowly and gave one of those long, tired nods that mothers do when they still love you, but they’re watching.
“Then move like it,” she said. “And I don’t mean showin’ up hand-in-hand at family parties or lettin’ Ade catch y’all kissin’. I mean showin’ up. With honesty. With humility. With work.”
Adair nodded, and Pam turned to Sabine again.
Her heart had always belonged to what was right, even when it meant checking her own son.
She’d stood by Sabine when Adair fumbled their marriage, not because she wanted to take sides, but because she couldn’t protect what Adair wasn’t protecting himself.
And while she was proud of the man he was trying to be now, she hadn’t forgotten the brokenness she’d watched him crawl through after losing his wife.
She never wanted to see her baby like that again…
swallowed by regret and spiraling alone.
“And baby, I’m saying this with all the love I’ve got for you in my chest. If this is just comfort, if it’s just a moment you needed, don’t let him start hoping again.
” Her voice wavered there, just slightly because as much as she loved Sabine like her own, Adair was her own.
She’d held him through his mistakes. She’d watched him fall apart—quietly, painfully—the kind of heartbreak only a mother could fully see.
She knew Sabine had every right to protect her peace, but she also knew what it would do to her son to get a taste of healing only to lose it again.
“Y’all been through the mud, I get it but I watched that little boy’s face light up when y’all stepped out the house together.
You know what that means? Y’all can’t be sloppy with this.
” She looked to Adair. “If you ain’t serious, let her go.
” Then to Sabine. “And if you’re only here for momentary comfort, let him go. ”
Pam’s voice hung in the room, rich with truth, layered with warning but wrapped, in love. Then she sighed and shook her head.
“I didn’t pull y’all in here to fuss or make you question your decision because if I had to choose, y’all like this would be what I want too,” she said.
“I pulled y’all in here because I care. I care so deep it makes me tired sometimes.
And I know y’all ain’t the same kids who fell in love too fast and thought forever would hold on just ‘cause you wanted it to.” She looked at Sabine first, her tone softening even more.
“You’re not that same tired mama tryin’ to hold it together in a little apartment while my son stayed too long at work.
You got your strength back. I see it in your eyes.
You’re clearer now.” Then her gaze turned to Adair.
“And you ain’t that boy who thought ambition could outrun grief.
You movin’ different. I been watchin’. You still got some stuff to prove but I see you tryin’. That means something.”
Sabine and Adair said nothing, but something more loosened between them.
A quiet inhale. A shared look. That knowing exchange that came only from walking through hell and coming out magically unscathed.
Pam smiled, just a little, and reached out to cup Sabine’s cheek with one hand, and Adair’s shoulder with the other.
“I want y’all to win,” she said. “God knows I do. I pray for it more than y’all probably know. I just needed to look y’all in the eye and make sure you weren’t setting each other up to fall again.”
Sabine covered Pam’s hand with her own. “Thank you,” she said. “For all of it. Really.”
Adair leaned forward and kissed his mother’s temple. “Love you, Ma.”
Pam nodded, blinking a few times before waving her hand like she was brushing off the moment. “Alright now, that’s enough. Y’all get out my shit before I start cryin’ and cussin’ y’all out at the same time.”
They laughed, and the tension broke for good.
They stepped out into the sunlight again, this time not just as parents, not just as former lovers but as two people walking toward something again.
Something uncertain. Something real. Pam stood back, watching them through the screen, her arms folded, eyes shimmering with a hope.
This time, she whispered it instead. “Let it be real, Lord…and let it last.”