Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Finch
I would never forgive that freaking tortoise for taking away my evening hangout time with Frankie. Scooter was on day three of being on my shit list. He seemed determined to ruin what little social life I had left.
By the time I got upstairs, I wondered if Frankie had already gone to bed, but the light in her room was still on . . . as well as the light to the third bedroom—the bedroom where I had a leather chest of sex toys.
As realization dawned on me, I practically sprinted the rest of the way down the hall to find Frankie gaping down at the opened chest.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, shooting backward. "Sorry. Sorry. I was just looking for an extra pillow, and sorry?—”
I let out a sharp laugh. “You found my sex toy treasure chest."
"I can't believe how many . . . uh, things you have,” Frankie commented, clearly trying to keep her tone neutral. “I'm pretty sure I don't know what half of them even do."
"Want me to show you?" I loved how easily I could turn her redder than a scarlet ibis. I thought maybe she'd stopped breathing entirely as I leaned in and added, "That was a joke."
"Oh right." She let out a shaky laugh. "I knew that."
But did she? And did I mean it as a joke? I had no idea. The thought of her splayed out naked on my bed while I used these toys on her had flashed through my mind before . . . especially during my solo fun times in the shower, which had been happening a lot since my involuntary vow of abstinence.
“What are these?” Frankie asked, lifting up a pair of latex panties between pinched fingers as if they were dirty underwear.
“Those are for oral things ,” I taunted. I was normally very cavalier with these sorts of things, but showing them off to Frankie was different. “Gone are the days of dental dams,” I added with another awkward chuckle. “These you don’t have to hold in place and they don’t slip around as much.”
“Oh,” she said, retuning them to the box. “You have like, fifty pairs of them.”
“They’re disposable,” I said.
“Do you always use them?”
“Often.” I shrugged. “If I were with the same partner for a while, I probably wouldn’t, but I think it would be irresponsible of me to be deep sea diving with every girl on the island and not use protection, you know?”
Frankie’s mouth bobbed open and then quickly shut at that comment. “Right.” She looked like her brain was spiraling out. “And the rest of these things?”
I made a half sigh, half grumble sound that caught at the back of my throat. “Well, they've certainly come in handy for solo adventures while I've sworn off casual sex for the summer.”
"Yep," Frankie said, popping her P as she swayed, unable to stand still. “I sympathize with your current predicament.”
“Well then, here," I said, diving into my treasure trove and producing a brand new, still wrapped, purple bullet vibe. "A gift for you."
Her laugh was too loud as she stared at it and then up at me. "I don't know when I'd use it with you right next door but?—”
"I don't care," I offered, sounding overly casual. Frankie knew me too well by now, and judging by her expression, she knew I was lying. Still, I continued, “There’s no point in leaving a brand-new toy just sitting around. You should have it.”
"Really?" she asked incredulously. “That wouldn’t be weird?”
"We're grown adults, Frankie," I scoffed, really laying it on thick. The truth was, it shouldn’t bother me at all, and if we were actually just friends like we said we were, I wouldn’t be flustered by it. "What you do behind your bedroom door is your business. Have fun."
"Fine," she said, squaring off at me, a challenge in her eyes. I had a terrible feeling she was going to try to prove just how “weird” it could be. She started opening the packaging. "Maybe I'll go have some fun right now since you aren’t bothered.”
My eyes widened, and when she flashed her defiant smile in response, I knew I'd just given myself away.
"Fine," I gritted out, trying to sound flippant. "I'm going to do a final check on my patients anyway. Enjoy.”
She smiled at me smugly as she took her new vibrator and disappeared behind her bedroom door. Flustered and, let's be honest, horny, I stormed out to the stairwell and back down to the vet hospital.
There’s no reason I should be thinking about this , I told myself over and over again. Solo fun times are great. Important, even. I’m a sex positive person. This is a public service. This is all cool. I’m definitely not thinking about Frankie fucking herself right now, and I’m definitely not wishing I could be a part of it . . .
With my mind split in two, I fed Cranky, turned off all the lights, checked the doors, and then took one last peek at the corn snake who was spending a night of observation in the hospital. Nothing out of the ordinary. If anything, apart from the baby bird, the hospital was relatively quiet this summer.
Still, I decided to make myself another cup of decaf coffee and update all my charts, check my emails, do some admin I’d been putting off, and give Frankie some space. She'd have to charge the thing first anyway. I was probably fine to go back up there. I’d fall asleep before she could even turn it on, but I couldn't bring myself to get up. Flashes of her fisting her sheets, trying not to moan too loud, burying her face in her pillow as she came undone?—
Fuuuuuuuck.
I wanted to storm up there, spread her legs, and lick her sweet pussy until her thick thighs were trembling around my ears.
Dammit, Finch! This is no way to think about your friends, even the ones you are pretending to be in a relationship with!
This was bad, so torturously bad. Frankie obviously didn't feel about me the way I felt about her. I should've never agreed to enter this ploy with someone so ridiculously beautiful. I should've known I wouldn't be able to keep my strap-on dick in my pants. This was agony, and I was beginning to suspect Frankie knew it, knew how touch-starved I was, knew how much I just wanted another casual fling of spending all night making a hot girl come.
But I couldn't risk sneaking out to the mainland. If my family found out . . . it would be bad. They'd murder me if they thought I was cheating on Frankie. They all loved her, and they'd probably boot me out of the zoo before her. I couldn't do that to them, or to Frankie.
But Frankie had only had really disappointing sex her whole life so she probably didn't even miss it, whereas I knew how great it could be between the two of us. But if I did seduce her into bed, what then? She'd probably want something more and I definitely didn't. That would be the shittiest thing I could do: sleep with her, lead her on, and turn her pretend feelings into real ones. No. We couldn't cross that line. It would just make all of this even messier.
I drank the last of my coffee and left it on my desk to clean up in the morning. Frazzled and frustrated, I walked back up the steps, resolute in my decision. But when I reached the kitchen, I heard the buzzing sound.
That fucking buzzing.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I was so screwed.
I grabbed my hair in both hands, yanking it in frustration.
I wanted to go to her door, press my ear against it, hear her soft, frantic breaths in my ears, hear the sounds she made as she came undone. I wanted to watch as she touched herself, as she came apart and surrendered to her own pleasure. I wanted her to look me in the eyes and finally know what it could actually be like . . .
This was well and truly hell. This was a mythological torture that would put Sisyphus to shame. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to survive it.
But instead of storming to Frankie’s door and throwing it open and fucking her like I wanted to, I turned to the bathroom for an ice-cold shower.