Chapter 7 Josie
JOSIE
It's been a full twenty-four hours since I walked out of the cabin and left Cade standing in the kitchen. It took everything I had to walk away, and somehow I only feel worse as the hours tick by.
I've spent all my energy trying to forget about what was hands down the best night of my life. When that didn’t work, I moved on to convincing myself that I did the right thing. Spoiler alert… another fail.
The whiplash in moving from a real-life Hallmark movie to reality makes me sick, and that is after a single night with him.
Imagine having an entire week of Cade’s adoration.
Even if he stayed for the length of his entire break, it isn’t sustainable.
He’s got a life to go back to, and it isn’t in Deadwood.
My chest literally aches when I think of the way I ended things with Cade. Not metaphorically either. There's an actual physical pain where my heart should be when I think of the shattered look on his face. But what choice did I have?
On top of everything else, walking back into my apartment came with the realization that I wasted all my Christmas cheer out at the cabin. There isn’t a seasonal mug in sight. I came home cheer-free and broken-hearted.
That's why I dragged myself out of bed before dawn and made my way through the icy streets to our Santa's Cruisers headquarters. This year, we’re set up in the center bay at the local firehouse, and there’s plenty of action to keep me distracted. But not even these guys can hold a candle to Cade.
Still, it’s better to stay busy than sit at home feeling sorry for myself. Cade was never mine to lose in the first place. What was a once-in-a-lifetime scenario for me was probably nothing more than an average Tuesday for him.
Besides, I got what I wanted. I had a peaceful getaway at my family’s cabin, riddled with cheer before the holiday chaos.
Except now it's Christmas Eve, and somehow I'm the least jolly I’ve ever been.
There's something particularly cruel about having everything you’ve ever wanted dangled in front of you, only to watch it slip through your fingers.
"Are you okay?" Katie's voice cuts through my brooding.
When I look up, she's studying my face with the laser focus that made her such a good prosecutor before she became a full-time wife and mother. It’s nice to see her getting back to her old self.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Right. You seem totally fine. Okay, we will chat in a moment."
“I don’t—” I start, but Katie’s already moved on.
She shifts my niece Emma to her other hip as she surveys a row of bikes. "We need another red bow over here, please."
Katie points, and two volunteers rush toward her, ribbons in hand. The bikes will undoubtedly look perfect. But right now, I’m just grateful that she’s been distracted. This event isn’t about me, and I don’t plan on monopolizing it with my wallowing.
We’re here to get bikes under trees tomorrow morning, and that’s what I’m going to do.
But even if we weren’t, Katie wouldn't understand.
My sister is the kind of woman who gets chosen.
Not just once in a while. Katie has been picked first by everyone all her life.
She deserves it, too, but we live in completely different worlds.
That’s how I know she can't possibly be expected to wrap her mind around my heartbreak over Cade. She can’t understand what it's like to have someone like him storm into your carefully constructed world and paint everything gold and then leave just as quickly.
I pull up my spreadsheet and methodically organize the bikes by size and family. In this economy, every single cent matters. It warms my heart to see the generosity. Our community has come through in a big way this year; that’s something I love about Deadwood. But right now the need is huge.
There are undoubtedly going to be children who wake up tomorrow with no new bike. But I’ve got a few hours left and I’m ready to call every person in my contacts to close that gap as best I can. I’ve got to stay focused.
A half hour later, I’m hard at work. But even as my hands stay busy grouping bikes and color-coding ribbons, my mind wanders straight back to him.
Did Cade make it out to Creed's place yesterday?
Is he already planning his escape back to his real life?
How long will it take for him to forget me?
What could have happened with just one more night spent in his arms?
I keep telling myself I made the right choice, but the lie is starting to feel flimsy.
Then Katie is back by my side, and she forces me to return to the present. I look behind her to find Emma happily distracted by a volunteer with a pair of dangling jingle bell earrings. I force a smile, but Katie furrows her eyebrow, and I already know what’s coming.
"Okay, little ears are occupied elsewhere." Katie settles beside me on a folding chair. "I'm ready to listen. What the hell happened out at that cabin, and why are you walking around like someone stole your white elephant gift?"
Luckily, I’ve prepared an answer because this isn’t my first rodeo.
But I don't look up from my clipboard when I deliver it because…Katie. "Nothing happened, it was just the cabin. Very merry and bright. I am disappointed we're going to come up short on bikes again. It’s getting to me. I hate the thought of even one kid waking up empty-handed tomorrow. I can cover a few from the money in my savings account. I’m hoping you might be able to as well. Plus I’m going to put in a call to—"
"Wait, Josie, didn't you hear the news? You got here so early, I thought you knew.”
My head snaps up. "No, I’ve been in my own world this morning. What news?"
Katie holds up her fingers in a jazz-hands kind of gesture. "The whole list has been covered. Every single bike."
For a moment, I can't process what she's saying. My heart rate ticks up. "What? Last count I saw, we were still nearly two hundred bikes short."
"Not anymore. An anonymous donor made a massive drop off last night. They were delivered right to the firehouse bay. Someone said they saw Ricky out there with his truck, but we know he isn’t the one behind it.”
“That is fantastic news. I can’t believe it.” I lean forward as the impossible conclusion swirls in the back of my mind. “I wish we knew who did it. That’s a lot of money and effort. I’d like to thank them.”
And I’d like to know for sure whether Cade is the man I hope he is or if I’m giving him too much credit. If he left Creed’s after dinner, would he have had time to make this happen?
“Yeah, you and everyone else. It’s ironic, right? The one time this town can keep a secret. But all we have to go on is a random note. So who knows?”
“There’s a note? Maybe start with that next time. What does the note say?”
Katie waves a too-casual hand in my direction.
“It didn’t give anything away. It said something like they were choosing nice, and the name being the least interesting thing about the donation, they just wanted to show they cared about their hometown.
Sounds like a real Ebenezer Scrooge come-to-Jesus moment if you ask me… ”
She keeps talking, but all I hear is Cade’s heart choosing this town. Could he be choosing me, too? My eyes fill with tears I've been holding back all morning, and I turn away from Katie.
“I’ll be back.”
Katie protests, but I’m already pulling my phone from my pocket to send a text as quickly as my fingers can type.
Me: I know it was you, thank you, Cade
Cade: Meet me outside
My jaw drops. This can’t be real.
I push through the doors and scan the parking lot for Cade’s sleek sports car.
But… nothing. Maybe it’s still stuck in the ditch where he left it.
My gaze sweeps over every shadow until the cold air bites and doubt creeps in.
Maybe the Hallmark movies have gotten to me.
Maybe I imagined it like some kind of sugarplum-fueled Christmas daydream.
I stand there dumbfounded. The only movement comes from a pickup idling under the streetlight. Ricky’s truck. He honks twice and flashes his headlights in my direction. I’m not in the mood. But eventually, I give in and walk over, still glancing past him just in case Cade materializes.
I rap my knuckles against the cold glass, eyes glued to the lot. Then the window hums down, and my heart nearly stops.
Cade is behind the wheel. He’s wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, and there’s a ball cap pulled low over his eyes. But nothing hides the grin stretching across his face. I press a hand to my chest.
I blink, caught in the same stunned haze as the night he appeared on my doorstep. “What are you doing?”
He grins, and I know it’s just for me. “I’m driving a truck.
I’m worrying about things that actually matter.
I’m making sure every kid in this town wakes up to a bike.
And.” His gaze holds mine. “I’m getting my girl back.
Josie, there’s no going back to any other life for me.
You’re it, sweetheart, like it or not. I love you and impossibly fast, but there’s no doubt in my mind.
I’m more myself with you than I ever have been.
I want Christmas morning with you, every Christmas morning. ”
Tears well in my eyes, and I don’t even try to hold them back. A million words swirl in my mind, but in the end, my voice catches, and only a few escape. “I want that too, Cade.”
He cups my chin and tilts my face toward his. “Then get in, sweetheart. We’ve got deliveries to make. It’s me and you from here on out.”