22. Chapter 22 #2
A smile curls Wulfric’s lips. “I felt the same after I mated with Kieran. Everything inside me went quiet. I felt the way a deer must feel, grazing in a meadow without fear of predators.”
Gunnar nods, blinking fast. “I think… I think it’s gone. All the anger, the despair. It’s just… gone.”
Anders swings an arm around his shoulders and tugs, knocking their heads together lightly. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Like you can breathe and think clearly.”
“May I check?” Kendrick asks.
Kieran folds his arms. “Depends. How’re you checking him exactly?”
“A simple spell. He won’t even feel it.”
Gunnar nods, ignoring the wary looks from his pack.
“Don’t try anything, witch,” Helga warns.
Kendrick stops in front of Gunnar and lays a hand on his chest. She closes her eyes. Gunnar tenses and a glow spreads through his body from head to toe. He remains calm and still until the glow fades, then quickly steps out of reach.
Kendrick opens her eyes and smiles. “Well done! The potion really has worked. This is an incredible breakthrough!” She spins around toward Nan. “Can you make more?”
“Only if your people are paying for it. The botanist charges a small fortune for his lunar flowers!” Nan says.
“That won’t be a problem. Give us his contact information.”
While she and Nan talk, I turn back to Gunnar and find him celebrating with his brothers, their mates, and his aunt. I attempt a smile even as my vision blurs. This is good. It is. It’s not what I wanted, but still. I’m happy for him. He deserves to get everything he wants.
I was always going to have to let him go.
I thought I knew that.
Gunnar’s eyes find mine, and the smile falls from his face. “Lo?” He steps away from his family.
I fake a cough and take an interest in my shoes. “I can’t believe it worked.”
“Arlo.”
I’ve got to leave now. Before I start bawling like a child. “I’ll… I’ll be seeing you, Gunnar. This was…” It was everything, and now it’s over, and fuck, I feel like my chest is caving in.
Before I can turn away, Gunnar grabs my arm. A muscle in his jaw bunches. “Come with me.” He motions off to the side toward the trees. Right. He doesn’t want to break my heart in front of his family. Again.
When his back is turned, I thumb away the wetness in my eyes and follow him. Once we’re within the trees, he stops and turns to me. The look on his face cuts me to the quick. He looks as devastated as I feel.
“I’m so sorry, Lo.” His voice cracks and he clears his throat, blinking hard.
All the anger I’ve been clinging to crumbles when I see how close he is to falling apart.
“Don’t be. I’m the bloody idiot who went and fell for you. This was supposed to be fake, and I went and blew everything out of proportion.”
Gunnar shakes his head and closes the distance. He hooks a finger under my chin and makes me look up at him. He presses his trembling lips into a thin line. “You’re not an idiot.”
His touch feels so good, I can’t help leaning forward, resting my forehead against his shoulder. “Would you just stop being sweet and nice and break my heart already?”
“Break your heart?” He sounds bewildered.
“You took the potion.” I choke out the words into his shoulder. “You don’t need a mate, not anymore. You can keep your sanity and your promise to Leif. So what do you need with me anymore?”
He tenses against me, fingers tightening around my biceps. His chest shudders on a deep inhale, touching mine. “And what if I need you anyway?”
Hope surges through me faster than I can tamp it down. I rub my wet eyes against his fur cloak before I look up. “Why would you? Your berserker is calm, so you don’t need a mate.”
Gunnar leans in and touches his forehead to mine, his shaky exhale warm against my skin. “I already have the mate I want, Arlo. It’s you. It’s been you since I first saw you.”
My heart skitters to a stop and restarts, thundering wildly in my chest.
Big, warm hands frame my face. Gunnar’s eyes are wet, but he holds my gaze, not bothering to hide his emotions.
At least I’m not the only one about to be a blubbering mess.
“There’s no competition, Lo. I loved Leif.
I always will. But there’s room in my heart to hold his memory and everything I feel for you. ”
I arch a brow and try for a cocky smile. “Which is? Go on.”
He laughs softly, the sound so sweet it melts my heart into a puddle of goo.
“I’m in love with you, Arlo. I’ve been in love with you since I caught you in my arms that first day we met.
” Gunnar smiles, and I can see the weight that falls from his shoulders, one he’s been carrying for so long.
His eyes light up, and his smile makes him look years younger.
If there ever were a physical manifestation of everything I feel for him, the way Gunnar’s looking at me now would be it.
“Gods, I want you. I want to marry you, and claim you, and wake up next to you every day for the rest of our lives. And I really, really want to kiss you right now.”
A laugh tumbles out of me, and I wipe away a stupid happy tear before it can spill down my cheek. “Are you waiting for an invitation?”
His smile widens, crinkling the corners of his eyes as his lips take mine. Everything that was broken up inside me when he left this morning falls back into place.
“I love you, too,” I whisper against his mouth, and goddess, it feels so good to finally tell him how I truly feel.
Gunnar nuzzles his forehead against mine. “Think I love you more.”
I slap his shoulder. “You do not.” My face hurts from how hard I’m smiling.
Gunnar brushes his mouth against my ear. “How about I stop telling you how much I love you and show you instead, aye?”
Leaning in, I press my lips to his. “I think that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard, stud.”
Gunnar leads me away from the village and up a mountain trail.
Just when the cold is setting in, a cabin comes into view between the trees.
“I didn’t know you had another home outside the village.
” I slip my hand into his as we walk. My stomach keeps doing flips, and my heart is trying to climb out of my throat.
“I built it myself so I would have somewhere to go when the berserker rage crept up on me.”
His admission gives me another perspective on the quaint cabin. I wonder if Gunnar had looked out of the window, yearning for the outside world. How had it felt to be lost in his berserker rage with his family only minutes away? I tighten my grip on his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“But you must have been lonely. Scared.” Does this cabin hold any good memories for him?
Gunnar shrugs. “Sometimes, aye.” He digs into his pocket and retrieves a key. “But I’m not anymore. You’re here, and we’re going to make good memories here.”
He becomes a bit blurry through my watery eyes. This man has many skills, but finding new ways to melt my heart is one of his specialties.
The door opens, welcoming us into a small and cozy space. The walls are decorated with mounted reindeer heads, and what looks like a bear pelt rests before an ashy hearth. There is no sign of any cookware, not even a cauldron or two. I suppose Gunnar did all his eating and hunting in wolf form.
“Are you cold?” Gunnar wraps his arms around me and pulls me back against his chest. His body is big and warm, and I melt into him with a sigh.
“Not right now.”
His beard rasps over my skin, his lips hot and warm where he kisses my neck. Desire pools low in the pit of my stomach.
“What’s all that?” I ask, making him pause in his worship of my neck.
“Hmm?”
There’s a shelf full of seashells mounted over the bed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many. Who’d have thought my mate was such a collector? It’s cute. I untangle myself and approach the shelf. “Wow. These are beautiful.”
They come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes, but each is stunning.
“I didn’t know you liked seashells.” I suppose it makes sense, considering how much he loves the water.
Behind me, Gunnar clears his throat. “I am… neutral toward them. I like the way they smell. I started collecting them after we met.”
I turn to face him and find a dusting of pink on his cheeks. “Why?”
Gunnar rubs the back of his neck. “They smell like the ocean. Like you, Lo. And I suppose, even deep in my denial, I wanted whatever piece of you I could get.”
My chest tightens. I close the distance between us and take his hands. “You’ve had all of me, Gunnar. From the moment we met, I was yours. I wish we hadn’t been so hung up on our own doubts and insecurities.”
Gunnar’s lips tremble. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was so foolish. I hurt you, Lo. I don’t know how you can forgive me.”
I silence him with a kiss. “Enough of that. We’re here now. We found our way to each other. That’s all that matters.”
Goddess, I need him now. I need to claim him, mark him with my magic, bind him to me so no one can ever take him from me. Not the TTA, not the Traveler Council, not his berserker.
This man is mine. He was mine the moment I fell into his arms and felt my soul reach for his. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have him after all this time, after everything we’ve been through.
I claim his lips with mine. A low sound rumbles in his throat, and his calloused fingers cup my jaw. He parts his lips, letting me in. Big hands slide down the back of my thighs, squeezing. I gasp, equal parts surprised and delighted, as he hauls me off my feet and up against his body.
Locking my thighs around his waist, I smile against his mouth as he carries me effortlessly to the bed in the corner of the cabin.
When he sets me down at the edge of the bed, my body aches at the separation between us.
“Come here,” I say breathlessly, scooting back to the head of the bed, motioning for him.
He smiles, eyes dark as he drops his trousers.