Chapter 5
Kathleen
I’m worried now once I’m back home wondering when he’ll come back. Not once in the thirteen years we have been married has Jake ever disappeared on me like this. Yeah, he just found out that I cheated on him. But that was just one time. Okay, it was an entire week, but I have been loyal ever since.
But he did not give me a chance to explain myself.
Yes, it is pretty weak that I used an argument we had as a rational for cheating that first night.
And yes, I let it continue the entire week after.
But once I came home I did everything I could to make up for the infidelity and I did not do it again over these past three years.
I have no idea where Jake went or what he is
doing. I am pretty sure that wherever he is, he is mostly likely there with Freya. I know that it is stupid that I feel jealous about him running off with a younger woman. Especially since I just spent this evening fucking Riley’s brains out. A man younger than Jacob.
But I never in a million years would leave Jake for Riley.
In my heart, I feel that I could easily be replaced by Freya.
Especially since Jake now knows that I fucked her husband and never came clean about it.
I am sure that he is just a mad about my keeping a secret these three years as he is about the affair itself.
I am feeling absolutely lost right now. Is this going to end my marriage after these three years of being faithful. But then again, the fact that I make a
big thing about being faithful says a lot about me as a person. And right now, I am not liking what I am seeing.
Riley
I have no idea what is up with Freya. We have had an open relationship the entire eight years we have been married. Why would that affect her if Jacob’s wife cheated on him?
Yes, I never discussed the fact that my tryst was with a married woman whose husband had no idea that she was having a sexual relationship with me. Yes, Freya was upset when I did tell her that fact a couple of months after Kate went home.
As I think about the last three years, it occurs to me that she has not been seeing other men even though I routinely bed other women.
Funny that I did not think of that until just now.
I wonder how long this has gone on? Has it been the entire time since I told her the truth about Kate?
I just thought that she got bored or something.
She has not even accompanied me on the times I have gone to swinger clubs.
I was hoping that once we moved to Seattle that she would become interested in having other lovers again.
Kathleen
Being hopeful, I send off a text message to Jake’s phone hoping he will see it when he looks at his messages. Afterward, I google whether that text will get through to his phone and I’m disappointed to find that he will not receive that message.
At my wits end, I run out to a convenience store and buy what is called a burner phone. This way I
can call his number and I can send a text before he can block me again. After I wait long enough for the phone to me fully charges, I called his number.
Jake, this is Kathleen. Please listen to this before you delete it. I am so sorry about what happened three years ago. I wanted so many times to tell you about it but I was afraid that you would leave me.
I promise you that it never happened again. I have been faithful to you every minute since that happened. I tried to be a better lover in bed for you. I have felt bad about myself ever since that happened. Please forgive me Jake. Please can you let this go?
As a backup plan, I sent the same message to his phone hoping if he deletes the phone call that he’ll at least see the message. Tears are rolling down my cheeks after I left the messages.