Chapter 7
SEVEN
Iwish I was wrong, but the year my mom has been with Andrés has been an absolute nightmare. My mom couldn’t fathom how Andrés wasn’t the man she thought he was, so she ignored my concerns. The house wasn’t home to me since he arrived; it was a prison I couldn’t wait to escape from.
At the beginning of their relationship, my mom would be gone for three days at a time, but the length of her trips kept increasing.
Initially, Andrés left me alone because he slept all day while I was at school, and then he was gone for the rest of the night—I assumed he had an overnight job.
When my mom was gone for longer stretches, I started feeling uncomfortable.
His eyes would linger a little longer than necessary, and he would make inappropriate comments about what I was wearing.
I wanted to sink inside my skin and disappear.
For the most part, I was able to ignore him until he began working the day shift and staying in our home in the evenings.
I wondered if he would follow the same plan as the other men my mom had dated.
Once they weaseled enough money from my mom, they’d be gone, and we’d be moving again.
And as much as I didn’t want to move from the friends I made, I desperately wanted to be away from Andrés.
As time went on, being around him made me feel uneasy. I hated the sick feeling in my stomach every time I had to be home alone with him.
The comments about my clothes grew more vulgar, asking who I was dressing all sexy for. I only knew what sexy meant from the romance books I read, but it was used for couples, never from an adult to a kid.
He would get a little too close when I was in the kitchen, which was the only time I came out of my room.
He would find reasons to touch me, saying he was wiping something off my shoulder or lower back.
The more I brushed him off or said, “excuse me,” when trying to get around him, the more he pushed.
When my chest started developing, he was constantly bumping into me and would accidentally reach for my chest. He even tried to catch me changing.
My heart raced, and tears welled in my eyes the first time I heard him try to open my bathroom door when I was in the shower before school. Should I shower in a swimsuit?
I would get to school an hour early to avoid him.
Emma would be there early, too, since she had a complicated home life, too.
We sat outside our classroom talking about boys before Shawn, Jacob, and Zac arrived.
This group of kids had become my best friends, and without them, most of my life would be absolutely insufferable.
I was so thankful for my friends and tried to act normal, playing hackie sack, which I was not built for. I stared off into the distance, distracted by thoughts of going home weighing on my mind, wondering what I'd have to endure the moment I stepped through the door
“Hey, are you okay?” Shawn came over to stand next to me. I wanted to be honest with him, but I was also scared and embarrassed, so I gave him some breadcrumbs.
“My mom’s boyfriend is being really weird. My mom hasn’t been around because she’s out of town for business, so I’m home alone with him a lot.” I shifted from one foot to the next, unable to stand still.
“Weird how?” His tone sounded concerned.
My heart sank to my stomach. He knew what I was trying to say without even saying it.
I was silent for a beat too long because Shawn spoke up again. “Serenity, has he done something to you?” I could see the recognition in his eyes, how they flashed from fear to something darker. His nostrils flared.
“No, nothing like that. Well, at least not yet. But I really do wonder every day if he might.” I picked at my cuticles, looking away from him.
“Have you told your mom?”
I looked back up at him frantically. “No, I don’t think she’d believe me.” Shawn scooted closer to me, and I put my head on his shoulder. “Here with you guys has become my happy place. Even if you make me play hackie sack when you all know I suck at it.”
“Why don’t you start coming over after school? Then, when you’re home, we can talk on the phone until you go to bed so you’re never truly alone. And if anything happens, then I’ll know and can help.”
I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked into his forest-green eyes.
He looked completely serious for the first time since I met him.
He liked to joke around and didn’t take life very seriously, so the fact that he was being so sincere caught me off guard.
I knew I had a crush on him, but the way he looked at me felt like something deeper.
He was my very best friend, and I cherished our friendship wholeheartedly.
He knew me like the back of his hand and knew what to do to make me feel like I could be a normal kid when I constantly felt out of place.
I still longed for so much more with him, though.
“You’d really do that?” I finally asked.
“Duh,” he said, bumping his shoulder against mine.
That was the first day I felt okay at home since Andrés moved in.
Shawn kept his word, and I spent after school at his place, and then we’d talk on the phone all night.
My mom had been home from her work trips for a bit now, which helped my anxiety, but when I tried to talk to her about how I felt, she reacted exactly as expected and thought I was overreacting.
“He’s just trying to get to know you, don’t overreact,” she said at breakfast.
I wish she were right, but as soon as she went on her next trip, his advances became more obvious.
First, his touches became more deliberate.
I couldn’t understand why he was paying such close attention to me.
I woke up a few times in the middle of the night with him lingering over me.
One night, I thought my fan had turned off because I couldn’t feel the breeze on my face, so I opened my eyes, and he was sitting at the foot of the bed, slowly lifting my blanket off me.
I didn’t react at all. I pretended to be sleeping.
I shifted to sleeping on my stomach, and one night his hand grasped my bottom.
I held my breath, focusing on the sound of my thumping heart.
Shawn was a lifesaver with his idea of staying on the phone because Andrés would get the hint to leave me alone. Our conversations were about nothing and everything. I never laughed so much as during those phone calls. That was until Shawn was out of town visiting family.
“Not talking to your little boyfriend tonight,” Andrés said as I was walking to my room after making myself dinner. I ignored him, which was a mistake.
“Looks like you’re free for the night then—why don’t you come eat with me?
” I kept walking, but he shot me a terrifying glare, his eyes almost black.
I turned to sit at the table, nearly dropping my plate as my hands began to shake.
“So, have you had sex with that boyfriend of yours yet? You can tell me, it’s completely normal. ”
His expression drastically changed from the glare he shot me to sit down. His mouth curved up in a small smile, highlighting the dimple on his cheek. He looked nice.
“W-what,” I finally stammered. I took sex ed last year, but why would Shawn and I be doing that? We were kids. “He’s my best friend,” I practically whispered.
“If you want a guy to like you as more than a friend, then you’ll need to give him something he can’t resist.” He looked at me with absolute hunger in his eyes.
I lost my appetite and stood up to leave, but before I knew it, he was standing directly above me.
His mouth inched closer to mine. I held my breath.
His lips touched mine, and I was paralyzed in place.
Why was he trying to kiss me? He’s with my mom. Everything in my body told me he was going to do something bad since the moment I met him, and when it finally happened, my body betrayed me by staying as still as a statue.
I squeezed my lips together tightly as he tried to sneak his tongue between them. He put his hands on my back and rubbed up and down to my bottom, where he squeezed tightly to the brink of pain.
My phone rang, surprising him enough to take a step back and jolting me to my senses. I snatched it off the table and answered without even looking at who it was.
“Hello?” I answered in a panic, glancing back at Andrés, who looked off balance.
“Mija, are you okay?” my mom asked.
“Mom… I need to tell you something.” Andrés’s eyes turned opaque, brow furrowed as he shook his head, silently telling me not to say another word.
I took off running with nothing but my phone all the way to Shawn’s house. His family wasn’t home, but I knew where they hid the key.
I collapsed onto the couch, and sobs overtook my body. I knew my mom would never forgive me, but I told her everything.