Chapter Twenty
We saddled up the same two horses we rode last time, Valhalla and Cheyenne, before starting the trek to the other side of the farm. A little slice of heaven that George had shared, only with me, so many years ago.
“Now, before we get to where we are going, you have to promise not to tell anyone what I’m about to show you. Got it?” I demanded.
“So now we are keeping secrets?” His smart-ass mouth once again resurfaced, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t get me going, just a little.
“I’m serious, Stetson,” I jokingly pleaded. “This has been my safe haven for years. I can’t even believe you’ve sweet-talked yourself here.”
“Me?” He threw his hand to his chest. “If I remember correctly, this was all your idea.”
“I know, I know. But I just thought maybe this might help you, inspire you even. Sometimes we all need a little inspiration, especially when we feel stuck,” I said, letting the reins out a little and picking up the pace. “You better keep up.”
I didn’t look back; I knew he’d be behind me. Instead, I let the wind swirl though my hair, the smallest douse of spring hiding in the midst of the cool air as I rode further from the barn. A sense of satisfaction ran rampant through my body.
We came to the bottom of the hill that butted up to what appeared to be a tiny forest of trees—black oaks, to be exact. They were tightly compacted, and if you weren’t looking hard enough, you’d never see the clearing on the left side, just big enough to fit through with a horse.
“Where are you taking me, Scarlett Carson? Do I need to be worried?” The sarcasm in his voice was thick, like honey stuck in a jar.
“You’re hilarious,” I mocked. “When you write your next album and it’s your all-time bestseller, feel free to thank me in the acknowledgements.”
“Already have you on the list,” he spouted. “But seriously, where in the hell are we going? I never imagined that being taken deep in the woods would spark the inspiration I’m looking for.”
“Hush. Just follow right behind me and stay on the trail.”
Slowly, we made our way deeper into the thick of the trees.
Every which way you looked, all you saw was a sea of black oaks with little cracks of blue sky sneaking through.
Further in and I knew he’d hear it. The gush of the eighty-foot waterfall that was tucked away, hidden from the rest of the world.
“Is that—” His deep voice halted abruptly as the trail widened and the trees cleared. “Holy shit.”
“A waterfall?” I asked, peering in his direction, desperate to see the look on his face.
His eyes glinted as the water’s reflection bounced off them. He flipped his hat backward; I assumed to get a better view of what stood in front of us. He flung his leg over his saddle, sliding off his horse and stepping to the edge of the water.
I followed shortly after him, stepping to his left side. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans, his brown Carhartt jacket breaking up the monochromatic outfit. “Damn. This is better than anything I could’ve imagined. Even the smell of this place is therapeutic.”
He wasn’t wrong. The way the fresh water mixed with the natural soil and mud made the earth smell like it did after a heavy rain.
“And that”—his head dropped back as he gazed up—“is incredible. Imagine the view at night. The stars on full display. Kind of gives you a different perspective, doesn’t it?”
“Why do you think I’ve never brought anyone here?
It’s too perfect to share with the world.
Right now, it’s still untouched, unscathed from all the shit that’s out there,” I said, motioning back to where we came from.
“This place, in a sense, saved me. It provided the quietness I needed when things got too loud. It provided the calmness when things spun out of control, and it provided the hope when everything felt hopeless,” I admitted, once again getting dangerously close to sharing too much.
My mind flashed back to all those years ago, when seventeen-year-old me felt like her entire world was going up in flames. I subtly shook my head, doing my best to keep those memories planted firmly on the shelf.
“I don’t know what you were dealing with back then, but what I do know is that I will cherish this spot.
I hope you know how much it means to me that you shared this with me.
I promise, it’ll be our little secret, because trust me, I don’t want anyone to know about it either.
” The beauty of what stood in front of us was enough to make him smile.
My smile mirrored his. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I asked, glancing back at the base of the waterfall where the water plunged into the pond. The sound was so rhythmic, I didn’t even realize the lack of response coming from Stetson.
Rocks of all shapes and sizes outlined the perimeter of the pond—some were shades of brown while others were covered in a blanket of fuzzy green moss.
Varieties of different greenery and vegetation hung low, making it feel cozy and secluded.
Little spurts of color had begun to pop up in the form of wildflowers, and in just a couple of weeks, this place would be blooming with them.
“It really is,” he said, and his voice sounded closer than it did before, tempting me to shift my eyes to him.
He wasn’t looking at the waterfall anymore; instead, his waterfall-like eyes had grabbed my gaze, making it almost impossible to look away.
He shuffled closer just as the sun went into hiding, leaving the air chillier than before.
The mist off the waterfall could be felt even from where we were standing, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Here. Take this.” He offered his jacket, hanging it over my shoulders as he stood only a few inches from me. It was large enough that it fit right over my jacket, providing just the right amount of warmth.
“Are you sure? Aren’t you going to be cold?” I asked.
“Even if I was, I’d still give it to you,” he said, running his hands up and down my arms, the friction producing even more heat, both on my arms and in the depths of my belly.
“You’re truly unlike anyone I’ve ever met.
Just when I think I have you figured out, you go and surprise me again.
You inspire me, even when you’re not trying to.
And the best part is, you do it just because you want to help.
Not because you want something from me, or because you think it might get you somewhere, but simply because you care.
And that alone is worth its weight in gold.
” His words were filled with so much conviction, I couldn’t help but smile.
He paused, pushing a wild strand of hair behind my ear.
I leaned into his touch, desperate for more.
“I just want to show you that you are capable of doing the hard shit. The shit that scares you. The shit that keeps you awake at night. You’re stronger than even you give yourself credit for. We all are. Sometimes it just takes someone else showing us to make us see it for ourselves.”
His finger brushed against my lower lip, lighting tiny fires all over my body.
This was it. I wanted this. I was ready for it. I was finally going to let him kiss me—and actually let myself enjoy it.
I closed my eyes, anticipating the feel of his soft lips on mine, but instead, the warmth of his breath two-stepped across my lips.
“I want to share something with you.” He inhaled, his chest growing the deeper he went. “The real reason why I’m in Quincey Falls.”
My eyes slowly regained focus, his face still only inches away from mine.
“The real reason?” I questioned.
“Thirteen years ago, I made a promise to Jackson. One I never imagined I’d have to keep, but life has a funny way of proving you wrong, doesn’t it?”
I nodded, because wasn’t that the damn truth.
“Ruby, Jackson’s daughter, was adopted.” He paused, his voice full of sadness as he swayed his focus to the waterfall in front of us.
The word adopted was like a thief, stealing my breath straight from my lungs.
“Jackson and Rebecca desperately wanted children, but unfortunately, due to circumstances out of their control, it wasn’t in their cards, so they knew adoption was always going to be a part of their story.
They adopted her immediately after she was born, waiting for hours at the hospital, ready to call her theirs as soon as they could. ”
My pulse was racing and my throat felt like an elevator door, slowly closing despite my frantic attempt to keep it open. I was grateful the waterfall had caught Stetson’s attention, because had it not, this conversation might have gone differently.
“It was late when they finally got home from the hospital, and I remember waiting for them in their driveway when they pulled in. It might have been dark, but their faces illuminated the night, both of them beaming from ear to ear.” His voice went silent but only for a second, allowing the soundtrack of the waterfall to seep in.
“I can still feel her tiny body in my arms. I was only nineteen, basically still a kid myself, but holding her gave me a sense of purpose. I still can’t explain it, but as she’d lain peacefully in my arms, I promised myself I’d always take care of her.
And Jackson’s face was something I’d burned into my brain, as if he was alive for the first time in his entire life.
” This time his silence brought forth a few deep breaths.
“That night, Jackson made me promise him that if anything ever happened to him or Rebecca, I’d find her birth parents.
I agreed in a heartbeat, without a hint of hesitation.
So, here I am, following through on my promise,” he said, stepping back to face me again.
I’d stayed silent the entire time he was talking, finding it hard to focus on his words. I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t help losing myself in my own story, my own experience. The story felt so close to home that the churning in my stomach had me queasy, but I knew I had to say something.
“So, have you found them? Ruby’s birth parents,” I forced out.
“Not yet, but I will,” he stressed. “The process has proven more difficult than I thought. Their adoption was semi-open, or so that’s what I was told, meaning there could be communication but it had to go through a third party, like a lawyer or an agency.
And as far as I know, the birth parents never tried to communicate with Jackson or Rebecca and vice versa, so any record there is lacking.
I do believe they used an attorney, which means someone out there has the information I need and if I can find said person, their will gives me the permission to obtain it.
” His eyes rose to mine. “And I’ll do whatever it takes. ”
After listening to him talk about her, there was no doubt in my mind that he would do just that. If Stetson was anything, he was determined, and it was abundantly clear that he was just as loyal. Nothing could stop somebody with those kinds of qualities.
“Are you sure they want to be found?” I asked, my body immediately tensing as I realized what I’d said. I wasn’t even sure why I would make such a comment.
“Would you want to be found if it were you?” he asked casually, not understanding the magnitude of the question he’d just posed.
It was like a dagger straight to the heart, piercing my breath as it broke through my chest, forcing me to silently gasp.
I did want to be found. I desperately wanted to be found. It was a thought that kept me up in the middle of the night, a thought that permanently belonged in my brain.
“Of course I would,” I replied. “I can’t imagine not wanting that. But I also know that everyone has their reasons behind the choices they make, and sometimes you don’t know the whole story.” I maneuvered myself in and out of my words, wanting to make sense but not wanting to give myself away.
Eventually I’d tell Stetson about my past, but not today. Not here. Especially not now.
“That’s fair. But I want to at least give them the chance. Ya know?”
My head moved up and down in an automatic response as he stepped closer. This time, the anxiousness crawling up my chest wasn’t the good kind.
Everything felt different now.
Harder.
More complicated.
I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of my ringtone, grateful that my phone wasn’t on silent because I could use a minute to catch my breath.
“Hey, Maggie, what’s up?” I casually asked, as if I weren’t on the verge of a complete spiral, all whilst still trying to be supportive.
“Say you’ll come to the bar with Booker and me tonight.”
“Um.” I paused, sifting through my options.
“Just say you’ll come. Maybe I’ll see if Booker will invite Stetson, would that make your decision easier?”
Stetson raised an eyebrow. He stood close enough to hear Maggie’s plan through the phone. “We’ll come.” Stetson’s voice beat mine to it.
Shit.
Everything swirled. It was as if I were the base of the waterfall, both excitement and anxiety, or maybe it was guilt, blended together.
“Oh?” she questioned.
I played it cool. “Stetson and I are at the recording studio doing some work for the article,” I lied, not wanting to answer any more questions. “What time?”
“Interesting.” Her tone was filled with the obvious desperation to ask more questions. “We’re headed there around eight.”
“Perfect. See you then. I love you.”
“Love you too. And don’t think you’re getting out of this one. We’ll chat tonight.”
“Goodbye, Maggie,” I said, hanging up the phone.
I took a single step back, needing to readjust my brain, my body, my thoughts. All of it.
“So, we’re going to The Wheel tonight?”
“Are you asking me out on a date?” The uncertainty was there; it was just masked by his cockiness.
“Ha,” I huffed. “No, cowboy. Not a date. Just a few drinks with some friends.”
“You can call it whatever you want, but I’m gonna call it a date. And yes, I’d love to go.”
“Great,” I said, peering down at the time illuminated on my screen.
“That means we’ve got a few hours to get some actual work done.
” I stuffed my phone back into my pocket and hightailed it back to Cheyenne, knowing damn well that if I didn’t get my ass on that horse and get out of there, there was no telling what would happen.
“Last one to the barn has to buy the first round,” I shouted.
“You might as well take your time, because either way, I’m a gentleman, and I’ll be buying all the rounds tonight,” he shouted back, but I was already in the saddle and headed for the trail.
I didn’t mind being a little ahead of him; it gave me a chance to think.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to kiss him—because trust me, I did.
But now, between knowing the truth about why he was in Quincey Falls and hiding the history of my life that I’d held hostage for over a decade, things just got a whole lot messier.