Epilogue
One Year Later
Ruby’s hand found the dial, turning it up until the music consumed the entire car.
“Not only is my uncle the talk of country music, but now so are you.” She beamed. “How freaking cool is that?”
A country-wide smile strung across my mouth.
The air whipping through my Jeep was hot but satisfying as I turned off Route 27, headed straight toward Rolling Meadows.
“Do you ever get used to hearing your songs on the radio?” Ruby asked from the passenger seat.
“Never. It gets better every time.” I smiled.
A couple of words here, a few strands of lyrics there, and suddenly my journal was full of whole-ass songs I’d written. When I showed Stetson, he couldn’t believe it.
“You’ve had these in here this whole time?”
They hadn’t been there the whole time, because for a while that journal had been nothing but a place to catch my thoughts, and then Stetson came to town and inspired my thoughts to morph into something more complete. Into songs.
“That’s pretty cool. I’m one lucky girl to be surrounded by the two of you,” she said, pulling me from my memories. One thing I’d learned about Ruby was that she was wise beyond her fourteen years of life, a characteristic I admired dearly.
“I think we’re the lucky ones.” I grinned back as the warmth covered us both.
Over the last year, Ruby and I had become close.
Lucy had voluntarily signed over parental rights about six months after everything came out.
Jackson and Rebecca had made it bluntly clear in their will that god forbid something ever happened to them, Ruby’s birth parents would always have the opportunity to have parental rights, if interested, as long as they were deemed suitable and fit.
From the moment I told Ruby I was her birth mother, that was all I could’ve dreamed of.
“I love this place,” Ruby said, once again bringing me to the conversation inside of the car. Her hand danced outside of the window as her thick hair got lost in the wind. “It almost feels like heaven.”
“It always has,” I agreed.
“Makes me feel close to Mom and Dad and makes the missin’ them feel a little less hard.”
I angled my body toward Ruby as soon as the Jeep rolled to a stop, in awe of the girl that sat before me. “They’d be proud of you,” I said.
“They’d be proud of you too.”
We shared a silent smile before both hopping out of the car.
“I’ll go see if Uncle Stetson needs help getting the horses ready.”
“Perfect. I’m supposed to be getting a call here in the next couple of minutes, but it shouldn’t take too long.”
“Okay!” she shouted back before I lost sight of her.
My phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Hi, this is Nora with Country Music and Company, is this Scarlett?”
“It is. Yes. Hi, Nora, how are you?”
“I’m great, excited to get to chat with you. Just so you know, I’m going to record our call, if you’re good with that.”
“That’s perfect,” I responded.
“Ms. Carson, or should I say soon-to-be Ms. Walker?” The diamond ring on my hand sparkled in the sunlight.
“Your article Don’t Ever Let Your Fire Go Out has gripped an entire audience.
Everyone’s rootin’ for you and Stetson, but especially you,” she insisted.
“What made you decide to finally share your own story?”
“Please, call me Scarlett.”
“Scarlett,” she repeated.
The rocking chair on George’s front porch creaked as I slowly swayed back and forth, pride exuding from every fiber of my being.
“My whole life, all I’ve ever wanted to do was tell other people’s stories—through poems, lyrics, however I could—and I think deep down that desire stemmed from the hope that one day I would be able to tell the world mine,” I said, smiling.
“I hadn’t told my story because up until recently, the story had a lot of holes, so it didn’t feel like it was ready to be written. ”
“I assume you’re referring to your daughter?” she politely asked.
“Yes. That. Among other things,” I responded.
“In the article you wrote that you’d hoped your story would show others that there is beauty in being lost and being lost is never permanent.
You go on to say that you should do your best to enjoy being lost because it makes the being found that much better.
Does that mean you no longer feel lost yourself?
If so, what would tell your seventeen-year-old self? ”
“I think so,” answering the first part of her question before closing my eyes and finding myself back in the hospital room on August seventh all those years ago.
The world had been dark and heavy, the weight I was carrying enough to feel like it was going to crush me.
I’d rested my hands on my swollen belly that still had a life inside of it and whispered, “You will always be my child, in this life and the next. Maybe one day we’ll find each other, and if I’m so lucky to have that happen, I promise I’ll never let you go again. ”
My eyes blinked open, bringing me back to the present and to the question Nora asked.
A single tear barely budged down my cheek.
“I would tell her that life never goes how it’s supposed to.
Things get messy. They get chaotic. Things happen when they’re not supposed to, and some things never happen at all.
But it’s what’s inside all of the mess and chaos that makes life worth living.
That while things might not go as planned, they go exactly how they’re supposed to.
I’d tell her that even now I don’t have all the answers, but what I know for sure is that everyone deserves a shot at happiness, even you. ”
“You are truly an incredible woman, Scarlett. I appreciate your time and look forward to many more of your stories and songs!” she added.
“Thank you, Nora.”
The call ended, but I didn’t move. I just needed a second to take it all in, to relish in the fact that this was my life—one I was proud of, one I had thought I might never find, one that didn’t look anything like I would’ve thought, but one that looked even better.
“Hey…” Ruby’s voice reached me from the barn as I watched her and Stetson bring the horses around. “Mom?”
The word mom seemed to hang in the air, carrying more than the weight of the world with it. My eyes widened, my heart fluttered, and I flicked my gaze to Stetson, who was grinning from ear to ear.
“Yeah?” I asked. The rocking chair stopped as I stood, moving off the porch and toward the two of them, still trying to find the words to respond.
“Is it okay if I call you that?” she asked, fumbling the reins in between her fingers. “I just… it just came out.”
I gripped her nervous hands.
“Of course you can call me that.” The single tear from earlier was joined by the rest of its friends, all of them congregating at the bottoms of my cheeks. “I’d love nothing more.”
Her embrace threatened to take my breath from my chest, but I didn’t care. I squeezed back with all I had.
“Okay, let’s go. It’s hot and I’m ready for a swim,” she said as though she hadn’t just made me the happiest woman in the world.
“Why don’t you go first and your mom,” Stetson emphasized, “and I will be right behind you.”
Ruby nodded before Stetson gave her a boost onto Winnie’s back. She was a natural around horses, something I could only hope she got from me.
She and Winnie trotted off into the distance, headed for the waterfall—a spot that wasn’t just mine anymore but had now become ours. Stetson’s, Ruby’s, and mine.
Stetson yanked me into a hug, his hands resting on my lower back while mine draped around his neck. “Look at you go, cowgirl. A mom, a fiancée, country music’s newest star songwriter, and mine,” he bragged. “I love you so much.”
“Past the stars?” I grinned.
“Past the stars.”