21. Chapter 21
PRESENT
ONYX
The light pitter patter of raindrops against my window reminds me I’m waking up in Seattle. I reach for the empty side of my bed anyway, maybe just to torture myself since I know Hero isn’t there.
Stepping into my apartment yesterday was even more of a reminder that this isn’t home.
I don’t think it ever really was. I roll onto my back and pry my eyes open.
I think I was happy when I first moved to Seattle, sharing a two-bedroom apartment with a dude who turned out to be pretty chill, but that feels like a lifetime ago.
Now all I can think about is getting this meeting with Van over with and getting back to Fall Crosse as fast as possible.
I ignore my phone on my nightstand as I drag myself out of bed. I don’t need any distractions this morning. I just need to get myself ready, deal with this contract issue, and book a flight home.
Home .
It’s a steady, predictable acoustic melody in my ears, it’s a calming brown, and it smells like lavender and tattoo ink.
I hold that feeling in my chest as motivation for the conversation I need to have with Van, and hurry through showering and getting dressed.
I pull on a vintage band tee and a pair of jeans with holes in the knees.
That’s one upside of this job, at least. No one expects me to put on a fucking suit, even for professional meetings.
I finish the outfit with the same pair of rainbow suspenders, hanging down loosely, that I was wearing the first time I laid eyes on Hero. It feels like a lifetime ago now.
There’s still a drizzle of rain coming down when I step out onto the sidewalk, but I do what most of the city natives do, I duck my head and just ignore the cool droplets that occasionally hit my skin as I walk the few blocks to Van’s office.
His secretary, Gina, looks surprised to see me when I step through the door.
“I have an appointment with Van this morning,” I say, suddenly unsure.
“You do.” She wipes the shock off of her face and smiles. “He’s just been in such a state over not being able to get a hold of you for weeks that I wasn’t sure you’d actually show.”
I try not to let her words pick the scab off of the guilt I’ve been harboring over ignoring his calls.
It’s not my fault the record label got up his ass.
My contract isn’t officially up yet. I have nothing to feel bad for; all I did was take a fucking break.
But maybe I feel a little bad that his income is going to take a hit without the fat paycheck from Black Sheep.
“Can I go in?” I ask.
“Oh, yes, of course. Go right ahead.” She waves me towards Van’s door. “Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? A snack?”
I shake my head and try not to wince. I almost forgot how awkward it is to have people catering to your whims. Even though I sometimes get recognized in Fall Crosse, it’s not the same.
I step into Van’s office. He has a large window with a view of the Space Needle, and the walls are covered in memorabilia from musicians he’s represented over the years.
One of the main reasons I signed with him to begin with was his obvious passion for music.
The first time we met, he spent an hour regaling me with stories about the early days of his career as a roadie in the seventies.
He still keeps his gray hair long, pulled back into a ponytail, and he always wears a band t-shirt under his suit jacket.
He stands up when I enter the office and comes around his desk to greet me with a handshake, clapping my shoulder roughly.
“You scared the hell out of me, kid. Where the fuck have you been for the past month?”
“I just… I needed a break after the last tour.”
“Sure, nothing wrong with that.” He looks me up and down like he’s checking for any injuries, or maybe taking stock of the new tattoos on my arms since he saw me last. “I’m sorry for leaving you so many messages.
The label has been pretty anxious to get a new contract signed.
” He pulls out the chair in front of his desk and waves for me to take a seat, then goes back around to his side.
My heart beats a little faster and I wipe my damp palms on my jeans.
“Yeah, so, here’s the thing…”
Van kicks his feet up onto the desk and gives me a knowing smile.
“You’re done with Black Sheep?” he guesses.
I flick my lip ring with my tongue and nod. To my surprise, his response is a deep, rumbling laugh. He lowers his feet to the floor again and swivels in his chair to grab several folders from the top of the filing cabinet behind him. He drops them on the desk between us.
“What…”
“I don’t know exactly what your thoughts are, if you need some time off or if you’re looking to jump right into a solo career, but I’ve been quietly meeting with labels for the past six months, laying the groundwork for potential deals.
And let me tell you, you are a hot ticket, kid.
I was getting ready for a cage match with the label over your Black Sheep deal, so you’re making my life a hell of a lot easier this way.
I’ve got Viper Records willing to double what DMC was paying you for a three-record deal over ten years.
Gigabyte is coming in with a dollar figure close to DMC’s, but they’ll also include a rider that you get paid additional royalties and keep the rights to any music you write yourself.
” He rattles off a couple of the other options, pointing to each folder containing the opening bids from several different labels.
All I can do is stare. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that other labels want me as a solo artist, but I was gearing up for this to be a much bigger battle.
I clear my throat and lean forward to fold my arms on the desk.
“Okay, here’s what I want.” I hold up fingers as I rattle off each demand. “No more than one month of touring per year, I write all my own music and retain all rights to it, and a co-sponsorship from the label for a free summer music camp for teens.”
Van grins again. “You’re not even going to bicker over the dollar figure, are you?”
“Isn’t that what I have you for?”
He chuckles. “It is. Alright, I’m sure I can get that done. Let me make some phone calls and I should be able to get you a few offers to choose from by the end of next week.”
For the first time in ages, I feel the anxiety knots in my chest completely unravel. I let my shoulders sag with a sigh, and I smile at him.
“You are a godsend, man. You don’t need me to hang around while you negotiate all that, do you?”
“As long as you promise to answer my calls, I don’t need you in the city.”
“You got it.” I hold out my hand to shake on it, and then I stand back up.
I feel lighter as I make my way back to my apartment. I take the stairs two at a time up to my floor, debating whether I should call Hero or just head straight to the airport and get on the next flight back to Wisconsin to tell him the good news in person.
I reach my floor and stop in my tracks. My heart stutters to a pause and then breaks into a gallop, a grin forming on my face.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask gleefully, jogging down the hallway.
Hero barely manages to make it to his feet before I crash into him, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in the crook of his neck. It’s only been a day and a half since I saw him last, but I feel whole again having his sturdy body against mine.
His arms around me set off that same low beat of home in my ears.
“Wait, you didn’t come because you thought I wasn’t coming back, did you?”
A laugh rumbles in his chest and he squeezes me a little harder.
“No, I came because I didn’t want to wait. Can we talk?”
I kiss the tip of his nose. “Yeah, sweetness, we have a lot to talk about. Come inside.”
HERO
I’ve seen pictures and videos of Onyx’s apartment, but the thing that hits me as soon as I step inside is that it’s not him .
Everything is black and white, no color whatsoever, all sharp angles and sleek design without any coziness or hint of his personality.
He said as much a couple of weeks ago, but I really see what he means now.
I can see how he doesn’t fit into this life he’s been living for too long.
He kicks off his shoes then turns to face me, looping his arms around my neck and crashing his lips into mine.
I sigh against his mouth. Part of me was worried we’d still be fighting, or that he’d find it creepy that I came all the way here just to talk to him.
But there’s nothing but eagerness and affection in the sweep of his tongue against mine and the curve of a smile on his lips.
“Kaiden,” I say as soon as he breaks the kiss.
He arches an eyebrow at me. “Did you just call me by someone else’s name or…?”
I sputter a laugh. “No, dumbass, my name is Kaiden.”
“Kaiden,” he echoes, testing the shape of my name on his tongue. The sound of it sends a happy shiver down my spine. I want to hear him whisper it while I swallow his cock. I want him whining my real name as I fuck him right here on the floor. I want it rasping in his throat as he comes.
But first…
“I haven’t touched anyone else since we met either,” I confess.
He laughs, but the look on his face is pure relief. Onyx threads his fingers through mine and leads me over to the couch so we can both sit down.
“Why didn’t you just say that a couple of weeks ago when I told you the same thing?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. You asked why I’ve been pushing you away since you showed up this time, and honestly, it was purely to protect myself.
You’re right, I wasn’t seeing you, not the real you.
I couldn’t stop telling myself that I had nothing to offer a rockstar, that I needed to keep my cards close to my chest so you wouldn’t know how gone I already am over you.
But you’re more than just a rockstar… You’re Onyx.
You love quiet mornings, and you can’t sleep with dirty dishes in the sink.
You bought treats to win my cat over and taught Milo how to play the guitar.
You’ve had your heart on your sleeve this entire time, and I just wasn’t paying attention, because I knew if I believed all the incredible things you kept telling me, I’d fall hopelessly in love with you. ”
His breath catches, and when I meet his gaze, I see tears shining in his eyes. He nods slowly, tugging his lip ring between his teeth.
“I’m glad you’re finally pulling your head out of your ass, sweetness.”
We both chuckle.
“I am.” My throat tightens with emotion, and I inch closer on the couch, pulling his legs over my lap.
“And I was thinking…” I swallow around the lump in my throat and hold his gaze.
“I talked to the guys at Four Bears Construction about adding on a sunroom to the back of the house. That way you’ll have somewhere nice to enjoy your morning coffee and write your music, even in the winter when it’s too cold to sit outside.
Because I want you at my place in the winter too.
I want you there whenever you want to be.
I know you’ll still be gone a lot, but maybe if Fall Crosse was your home base, we could see each other more?
I want to make this work, Onyx. I want you in my life, as my partner. ”
Onyx makes a choked sound and threads his fingers through my hair again, tugging me in for another kiss.
I can taste the salt of tears on his lips, and we both sink into the slow rhythm for a minute.
Instead of speeding up, my pulse slows, like I’m relaxing for the first time in fuck knows how long.
He sniffles when he pulls away and wipes the back of his hand across his cheeks to clear away the tears.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I use my thumb to catch a couple of strays he missed.
“They’re good tears,” he assures me. “I want that. I want everything you just said. Except…”
“What?” My heart sinks. Did I come on too strong after all? I can’t regret anything I said though. It was all true, and it’s about time I actually laid it all out, even if he’s going to tell me that he isn’t ready for all of it.
“I just came from my meeting with Van. I’m not renewing my contract with Black Sheep.
I’m going solo, and I told him I want it in whatever new contract he negotiates for me that I’ll only tour one month a year.
Are you sure you want me at your place eleven months of the year?
Invading your life and making Diva love me the most? ”
I bark out a laugh and launch myself at him, crawling on top of him and kissing his still salty cheeks, his lips, his throat. Onyx squeals with laughter of his own, and we fall into another deep, slow kiss.
“ Our place, rockstar,” I correct him between strokes of my tongue against his.
“Does that mean you want me to pay for half the cost of the sunroom?” he asks, nibbling my bottom lip.
“You bet your cute ass.” I nip his jaw and he squirms underneath me. And suddenly all of this is real. Onyx is coming back to Fall Crosse to stay. We’re going to try this thing, with all of our feelings on the table, no more tattoos or tours to hide behind.
We’re all in.