Chapter Ten
Beverly
I’m well aware I’m sitting in Ridge Wilson’s private dressing room holding his hand. In our cloistered little moment, I realize how huge this is. Little ol’ me holding his hand. He’s a famous actor. His world is big and full of things I can’t even imagine because mine is so small.
Still, it doesn’t take away the fact that I long for him to kiss me. Isn’t hand-holding a gateway to lip-smooching?
I swear, he’s come close. But something seems to keep holding him back.
I mean, why hasn’t he followed through? I have to wonder if maybe it’s me?
Maybe he’s turned off by my prude-ish behavior?
Or perhaps I come across as na?ve? I know I’m not the most experienced female when it comes to flirting and giving signals.
But I definitely know how to kiss a man.
As I mull around the reasons for Ridge’s hesitation, there’s a polite knock on the door, and he immediately lets go of my hand and stands.
I frown, unsure of how his abrupt actions just made me feel.
Does he not want to be seen holding hands with me?
Then why did he ask me to be his date at the wrap party?
Ugh, these negative voices in my head have got to stop.
“Come in,” he calls.
Arthur peeks his head into the room. “There’s been a slight delay. The director’s stuck in terrible downtown traffic. Hopefully, he’ll be here soon.”
Ridge nods. “Hair and makeup haven’t shown up either, so no worries.”
“Really? Hmmm. Maybe they’re stuck in traffic too?”
“Traffic can be pretty brutal in Atlanta,” I chime in.
Arthur nods. “Let me investigate and find the script supervisor. He should know.” He pauses and gives me the once-over from my seated corner on the couch. “Do you need anything, Lovely?”
I offer him a sweet smile. “No. I’m good. Thank you.”
He cocks an eyebrow and hesitates as if sensing my internal struggle for a Hollywood kiss. “Very well, then. I’ll be back momentarily with an update.”
“Thanks, Arthur,” Ridge says.
The door clicks shut, and I watch Ridge mosey over to the makeup chair. He sits and swivels so he’s facing me. “I warned you this is a ‘hurry-up-and-wait’ business. We could be here for a while.”
I don’t say anything and watch him shift uncomfortably in his seat. “I mean, if you’d rather not be here…,”
“I’m glad to be here, Ridge. Thank you for inviting me.”
“Then why do I get the feeling something’s wrong?”
I hesitate. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s something if your mood just took a hard left turn,” he teases.
I chew on my lower lip before I boldly tell him the truth. “Why haven’t you kissed me yet, Ridge?”
He groans and runs a hand through his hair, messing it up.
“What? It’s a legitimate question. I mean, we’ve had more than one occasion where you could have laid one on me.”
“I have my reasons.”
I scowl at him, my eyes going wide. “Reasons? Wow. I don’t like the sound of that…,”
“—I’m waiting for the right moment,” he interrupts.
“That’s fine,” I say, disappointedly.
“Beverly, I don’t think you understand.”
“Then explain it to me, Ridge. Tell me why you have to wait for the right moment? You kiss women all the time on the big screen.”
“But that’s for work. There is a difference.”
“I know.”
I can’t look at him anymore. The way his handsome jaw ticks with unease, his eyes holding me captive.
Strong fingers gripping the arms of his chair when I wish they were gripping a part of me.
I look down at my hands fisted in my lap, aware of him returning to the couch.
He sits so close I can feel heat emitting from his hard body.
“Beverly, I’m waiting for the right moment because when I kiss you, it’s gonna open up that door to even more.”
I snort-laugh. “Isn’t that a famous line from one of your movies?”
“No, it’s not. Look at me, Beverly. Please?”
There’s a particular tone in his voice that has me lifting my gaze to meet his. I’m wide-eyed, unsure if I want to hear what he has to say, mortified that I’ve let my guard down and shown my true colors. My whiney, suburban, single kindergarten teacher, virgin colors.
He takes both of my hands into his and squeezes. “I know myself, and by kissing you, it’s gonna be really hard to hold back from doing other things. Things I’m not so sure you’re ready for, am I right?”
I’m so embarrassed right now, I can hardly respond. “Is it that obvious?” I mumble.
He keeps talking. “And furthermore, once I kiss you, I’m not so sure I’m gonna want to kiss anyone else for a very long time.
I’m waiting for the right moment, because when I kiss you, it’s going to be one of the most important, if not the most important kiss I’ve ever held out for. I want to do right by you, Beverly.”
At first, my mouth drops in awe at what he’s just said to me, my mind trying to make sense of it all.
Ridge Wilson thinks kissing me will be one of the most important kisses of his life?
But then I remember this man is an actor.
He’s paid to trick people into the willing suspension of disbelief, and right now, I don’t believe a word he’s saying.
I whistle, trying to play it cool. “Impressive. No wonder you’ve won so many major awards.”
“Beverly—”
We’re interrupted again by a knock at the door. Ridge doesn’t answer, his focus firmly directed at me. We stare at one another to see who will cave first. His handsome face is too much to bear, and I look away.
“Come in,” I holler. I don’t like this anxious, stomach-dropping-to-my-knees feeling. I’m uncomfortable, and he knows it.
Ridge hangs his head as a team of professionals enters the room. He squeezes my hand one last time before he stands to greet them, as if nothing important just happened between us.
For a few brief seconds, I wallow in his words.
Had he meant what he said? I allow myself to picture what it might be like—me and Hollywood heartthrob, Ridge Wilson, as a legitimate kissing couple.
His lips an all-you-can-kiss buffet anytime I want.
Following him to film locations. A home on the West Coast near the ocean, and a little plot of land on the East Coast near my sister.
Kissing our way across the states without a care in the world.
Just as quickly as my fantasy plays out in my head, reality comes along to shatter it.
I’m the one living in La-La Land. I’m not cut out for this.
Not for Hollywood, or jet-setting across the country.
I am not a puppy about to tag along in hopes of a little treat or a pat on the head when it’s convenient for him.
Nope.
I deserve the fairy tale, and that includes a man who will follow me to the ends of the earth. Even if it’s for one simple kiss.
***
“What do you mean, you left?” Madison asks.
I’m sitting on my couch in my pajamas sipping on chamomile tea, the passion flower and lavender essence calming my rattled nerves.
“I watched his team get him made up for the shoot, then I watched a couple of takes. Don’t get me wrong, I was impressed by seeing all the talented actors, including Ridge, showcasing their creative talents firsthand. I was thrilled to be on the set.”
“Then what happened? Why did you leave?”
I lean my head against the soft cushions of the couch and sigh. “Everything took forever. Ridge warned me the day-in and day-out reality of filming isn’t as magical as the way it looks and feels in the movies.”
“But I thought you enjoyed watching him that first time in the library at your school?”
“I did. I guess being on-location in a comfortable setting I’m used to as opposed to being at a studio is just… different.”
“Hmmm,” Madison hums. “I have a feeling there’s more to this than you’re letting on.”
“Maybe,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “I guess I realized whatever thing Ridge and I have going on between us will never work.”
“Why not?”
“Logistics, for one. He lives on the West Coast, and I’m on the East Coast. He also told me point-blank that he doesn’t believe in fairy tales or happy endings.
He thinks they’re unrealistic and overrated.
Now, why on earth would I want to be with someone like that, huh?
You know I’m a diehard, happily ever after girl. ”
“Wow. This certainly came out of left field…,”
“And he hasn’t even tried to kiss me, Maddy. Not once. Do you know what he said when I asked him point-blank about it?” I can’t help the way my voice turns up a notch, my words laced with aggravation.
“What did he say?”
“He quoted one of his rom-coms about waiting for the right moment, and how it was going to be the most important kiss of his life. Baloney! I’m not falling for that. The man is nothing but a highly overrated celebrity showing off his acting chops.”
By this time, I’m standing and pacing in my family room, the effects of my chamomile tea replaced with fury and amped up emotions. Ridge Wilson has gotten under my skin, and not in a good way.
“Are you sure it was a quote from one of his movies? What if he was being genuine and trying to do right by you?”
I ponder my sister’s words and flop onto the sofa in defeat. “He mentioned that too. That he wants to ‘do right by me.’ What does that mean anyway? Let’s face it. Ridge is just like all the other guys out there, but with fame and money. Somehow, they all know.”
“Know what?”
“They all know I’m inexperienced. I must give off a certain virginal aura or something.” A nervous laugh escapes me. “And I guess that’s a bad thing, just like it was all through high school and college.”
“What do you mean?”
I sulk as I try to explain my feelings. “If you don’t drink or party, they call you a nerd.
If you go to church, they tease you’re in a cult.
If they know you don’t sleep around, they think you’re a prude.
I’ve lived this my entire life, and it’s never gotten easier.
In fact, it’s only become harder.” My eyes prick with forming tears, and I sniffle against my pajama sleeve, the memories of those awkward years as a teenager and college student haunting me.
“Bev, there will always be people who have opinions and beliefs that don’t line up with yours. But you have to stay strong. You have to follow your heart. Just be yourself.”
“Yeah, and look where that’s gotten me. I’m alone and un-kissable.”
Madison laughs. “Beverly, I’m proud of you for standing firm in your beliefs. You, more than anyone, are worthy of the kind of love you read about in your favorite books and see in the movies. Don’t let this derail your dreams of your own happily ever after.”
“I won’t,” I sulk. “But I was really hoping Ridge Wilson would kiss me.”