Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Beverly
I realize I could be in Heartsboro right this very second, holding Joey and enjoying my sister and her husband, George.
Instead, I’m stuck on the West Coast in a cruel twist of fate I didn’t see coming.
There’s something about holding baby Roman in my arms that brings on a sudden surge of homesickness.
No one really warns you about this part of adulthood.
The part when you start to feel wistful, not for a house or where you grew up, but for a moment in time.
A version of life you want so badly you can taste it.
But I know I can’t have this. Not now, and certainly not with Ridge. Roman is his son, not mine. The famous man not only has a son, but a territorial co-parent who hands off her child to the nanny so she can drink bourbon in the afternoon. I am not about to dive headfirst into this mess.
“I’ll take him now,” Whitney announces in a flourish of multi-colored fabric and clanking jewelry.
I’m startled when she leans low and snatches Roman out of my arms, the half-drunk bottle of formula slipping from his mouth and falling to the terrace floor.
I stop it from rolling over the edge with my foot.
Her abrupt actions cause Roman to flail, and he immediately cries as she takes him inside. I can hear Ridge say, “You didn’t have to interrupt his feeding.”
I stand and creep to the doorway, eavesdropping on their conversation.
“Well, I don’t think it’s wise for her to be around him. He doesn’t need strangers in and out of his life at this vulnerable age. It will only confuse him.”
“Whitney, you’re being ridiculous.” Roman’s cries grow stronger.
“Am I? Well, you’re the one who decided you didn’t want to be a father for the first three months of his life. Talk about ridiculous.”
“That’s not fair.”
Mira appears and tries to diffuse the situation. “Would you like me to take over and finish feeding him?”
“No.” Her one-word reply is curt. “I’m his mother. I’ll take care of him just like I always do.” She disappears into the bedroom and slams the door.
I tiptoe back inside, all three of us standing there not knowing what to say. I clear my throat. “Maybe I should call a ride service and head back to your house?”
“No,” he says abruptly. “Just… just let me have another minute with Whitney, and then we’ll go. I’ll let the driver know we’re coming down to leave.”
I nod, and realize I’m still holding the bottle. “Oh, uh, here you go. She’s gonna need this.” I pass it off to him.
“Thanks,” he says.
When it’s just me and Mira in the room, the moment feels awkward as she offers me a tentative smile. “For what it’s worth, Miss Smith was really excited about Mr. Wilson meeting Roman today.”
I breathe in a deep breath through my nose and nod. “I’ll bet. And for the record, he was excited too.”
Roman’s cries have stopped, and I can hear Ridge and Whitney talking calmly from behind the closed door. I’ve never been this uncomfortable in my entire life.
I stand tall and nod at Mira with a forced, polite smile. “Well, it was nice meeting you today.”
“Likewise.”
I cross to the door. “Could you please let Ridge know I’ll be down in the lobby waiting for him? I don’t want to cause any more trouble.”
“Believe me, you haven’t caused any trouble. You’ve actually witnessed a pretty normal day-in-the-life.” A nervous sigh escapes her lips.
I open the door and look over my shoulder at the woman one last time. I actually feel sorry for her. “Please tell Whitney it was a pleasure meeting her and Roman. She’s a very blessed woman.”
Mira smiles as if she understands. “I will.”
I close the door and walk briskly through the hotel hallway toward the bank of public elevators.
I’m relieved when one of them immediately opens after I press the button, and the interior is empty.
Once I’m on board, I watch the doors close and keep my eyes fixated on the floor numbers above, willing myself to keep it together.
When I finally feel the elevator descend toward the lobby, I can’t hold back any longer and allow my pent-up hot tears to fall.
Once I’m at the lobby level, I duck out of the confined space while not making eye contact with an elderly couple waiting to board.
I’m thankful there’s a ladies’ room nearby, close to the hotel bar, and dart inside to assess the damage my tears may have caused.
This trip of a lifetime has taken a drastic turn, and I know it’s time for me to end this chapter, even though Ridge claimed it’s one of his favorites.
But things have changed. I saw it with my own eyes.
The man has an incredible life ahead of him with a little boy who needs him—all of him.
He doesn’t need to worry about me. And how could I ask him to traipse back and forth to and from Atlanta when he has responsibilities here?
Still… this is hard. We have chemistry. We have fun together. I really thought we had something going between us. I grab a tissue from the marble vanity and dab at my face. I pause to stare at my reflection. Rosy cheeks. Wide eyes. Trembling lips.
Realization hits me over the head like a hammer. I know what I have to do.
When I round the corner to the lobby, Ridge’s face lights up at the sight of me. “There you are,” he says, extending his arm.
My smile is tentative as I grasp his hand and hold on for dear life.
Hal is already parked out front and holds the door open for me. I offer him a genuine smile. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Ridge slides in beside me, the two of us sequestered in the back seat with the privacy partition already in place. The one-way glass allows us to see Hal, but he can’t see or hear us.
“Whew!” Ridge exhales. He leans his head back and closes his eyes. “I can’t even believe that just happened.”
“Well, it did happen. I was there as your witness. How do you feel?”
He sits up and shakes his head. “I feel… weird.” He chuckles.
“Did you calm Whitney down?”
“Yes. She’s fine. I told her I know how hard this has been, but that I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere. I want to be a part of Roman’s life.”
That’s all I need to hear.
I clear my throat, ready to get this difficult conversation over with. “Ridge? I know today has been a whirlwind of emotions, and I’m so sorry I’m about to say something you probably don’t want to hear.”
He scowls and gives me his full attention. “What is it?”
I lick my lips and dig deep, keeping my impending tears at bay. “I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything. You name it.”
My mouth trembles into a half-hearted smile. “I need you to let me go.”
“You want to go home?”
I sigh. “Yes. I need to get my flight changed as soon as possible. And you need to move on in your new life with your son… without me.”
Ridge is silent for a few seconds as he mulls over my words. “You don’t think we can make this work?”
I shrug. “In another life, maybe?” A lone tear makes a path down my cheek as I stare at him.
He lifts his hand and gently wipes it away with his thumb. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable bringing you here today. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I’m not hurt. You’ve been nothing but generous, and I’m honored to have met your precious son.”
“Then why can’t you stay? Why can’t you be a part of my life? Or Roman’s life?”
I sigh. “You know why.”
Ridge groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s obvious Whitney can be difficult. But I think if you just got to know her—”
“Ridge,” I interrupt. “I’m not cut out for all of this.”
“All of what?” He seems confused.
“This… this path to stardom. I’m not equipped to be around someone famous like Whitney, or even you, for that matter.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you and your glamorous lifestyle. And what about the impending public scrutiny once the entire world finds out you have a son? I don’t think I can handle it. I’ll get eaten alive. I mean, come on, I’m not strong and in your face like Whitney.”
“I don’t expect you to be,” he barks.
I shrink back, and he immediately realizes his mistake.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice.”
“It’s okay. Today was a lot.”
“Yes, it was.”
We’re quiet for several minutes before he clears his throat, his voice coming out in a rumble of uncertainty.
“Can you at least stay for one more night? It will be easier to rearrange your travel for tomorrow. And I was looking forward to making you a nice dinner and taking you on a sunset boat ride.”
“Ridge…”
“Please?”
The way he’s looking at me causes me to waver.
His dark, need-you eyes. His pale-blue shirt stretched over his thick shoulders and muscular arms. I look at him and then back at the road lined with palm trees.
I want to remember him this way. Beams of sunlight flickering through the windows.
A lock of hair falling across his brow. Eyes pleading but glowing with hope. Full lips begging to be kissed.
“I need one more night to say goodbye to you.”
I blink back more tears. I’m torn. I want to stay, but I know I’ll only be setting myself up for even more heartache.
I need to get back to my sister and figure out what I’m doing and why everything feels uncomfortable and messy.
I keep waiting for this feeling to subside, but it doesn’t. It’s only getting worse.
“One more night. That’s all I’m asking,” he pleads.
He’s bold and pulls me into his warm embrace. I bury my head into the crook of his neck, feeling the pressure behind my eyes building. But I don’t give in to another cryfest just yet. I pull back from him and notice his eyes shining with tears, yet he’s still smiling at me.
Ridge has slowly and carefully filled the empty places in my heart with his gorgeous smile and chivalrous manners. He makes me believe in myself and that I matter. And I’ve made him a believer in happily ever afters. Unfortunately, I have a sinking feeling it won’t be us in the end.
I don’t want to leave him. But I know it’s the best decision—for all of us. Still, maybe I can give him this. I can give him what he needs.
“Okay. One more night,” I mumble. I want to kick myself for falling under his spell.
He nods but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he loops his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for a deep, romantic kiss, rendering me breathless.