Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ridge
I stroke Beverly’s cheek with my thumb. Her dark eyes are giant saucers staring back at me, waiting for my response.
This is a significant moment for us as a couple, and I don’t want to mess it up.
I pull her forward into my embrace, feeling her heart thrumming in her chest like a scared little bird caught in a snare.
The sounds of the old house settle around us.
Floorboards creaking underneath the weight of the piano bench.
A tree branch scratching at the antique glass of the window.
The wind whistling across the chimney opening.
As I hold her in my arms, I realize falling in love with this woman has been easy.
Unhurried and natural, like an autumn breeze across the meadow.
Driving through the quiet sanctuary of the countryside.
Quiet moments of bliss just being near her.
Both of us reaching a point of attraction so intense that it’s impacting our thoughts and potential actions moving forward.
I understand her desire because I’ve been holding back my own lustful impulses to touch her in ways no other man has dared.
To woo her into things she’s not ready for.
It would be so easy in a weak moment to cross that invisible line parked between us.
But I’m better than that. I have to be. I respect her.
Knowing I’m falling in love with her, I need to protect her long-standing convictions of saving herself for marriage.
Her feelings need to take precedence over my own selfish desires.
“Say something,” she whispers hoarsely into my ear.
I inhale the flowery scent of her hair and kiss her gently on the cheek. Taking her by the hand, I lead her into the foyer and motion for her to sit on the staircase. I watch her nervously twist her hands in her lap, unable to look at me.
I sit next to her and clear my throat. “First of all, I’m sorry…”
“—No,” she interrupts. “You’re always apologizing, and there is absolutely nothing to apologize for.”
“Yes, there is. You were very clear when you made your convictions known to me, and I’m sorry I’ve put you into a tempting situation.”
“You haven’t. This is all me. All I can think about is you, Ridge. I want to be with you. My feelings regarding sex have changed because of you. I need you. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
I grip her hand in mine, trying to come up with the right words. “Sweetheart, you are special.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. And you need to know, I’m falling in love with you.”
She lifts her beautiful face and looks right at me. “You are?”
“Yes. And I’m not saying that to give you more of a reason to go back on your convictions.
I’m saying that because what I’m feeling makes me want to be a better man when I’m around you.
In this next chapter of our relationship, I want to honor you.
I’ll deny myself my own selfish desires out of respect for you. ”
“But I told you I want you. And I’m falling for you too.
I… I’ve never been in love before, and it’s new and exciting, and I know this is love because my body craves you like no other.
And if we’re falling in love together, doesn’t that make sex okay?
” She gasps for a breath of air after her run-on sentences in a rush to explain herself.
I run my free hand through my hair, careful with my words.
“I want to give you your heart’s desire.
I want to honor you with my thoughts, my words, and my actions.
Beverly, you have a very special gift, and I’m not about to compromise your belief system.
The last thing I want is for you to feel regret or shame and grieve any actions you’re not ready for.
You need to stay strong until you get married.
And if it’s to me, I’ll be the luckiest guy on the planet. ”
She’s looking at our hands linked together, her silence an indication she’s mulling over my words.
I hope I’ve conveyed my message to her in a way she understands.
Beverly is an amazing woman, and I’m not about to be the one who makes her go back on her convictions, no matter how much I want her all to myself.
And the idea of marriage? That’s a new one for me.
I’m turning forty next year, and never in my life have I felt anything as powerful as wanting to pledge my love to one woman for the rest of my life.
But I know it’s too soon. I’m not ready for marriage just yet. Not with the long distance and logistics we need to figure out between us, the Whitney drama, and my new role as a father. The timing is all wrong, and I need to find a way to make it right.
“You slipped into my heart when I wasn’t looking, Beverly.
Every wall I’ve put up has been demolished.
I care about you without even trying.” I look around the farmhouse foyer, my eyes tracing the high ceilings and the intricate crown molding.
I can see us living here, all three of us.
My heart thrums in my ears. “This love feels less like falling and more like…”
“—Like what?” she interrupts.
My lips tremble into a tender smile. “Our love feels like coming home.”
Her sigh is deep with a hint of relief. She lays her head on my shoulder as I continue to try to explain myself.
“You need to know I’m not proud of the way I handled some of my past relationships, especially with Whitney. We weren’t in any kind of partnership except a consensual one-night stand, and look where that got us.”
“But it got you Roman,” she quietly says.
“Yes. And I’m thankful for my son. But when he’s older, how will I explain to him that my actions were inappropriate?
That I made a terrible decision because I was drunk out of my mind?
A decision made out of brokenness and a need for a quick escape from my lonely life.
That wasn’t fair to Whitney. And it certainly wasn’t fair to Roman. ”
She sits up, and I turn to face her, my emotions unexpectedly coming to the surface. “I want you to trust me, first and foremost. I want to make a promise to you that I’ll always try to give you my very best.”
Her eyes well with tears, her nod slight.
“Don’t cry, Lovely. I’m asking you to be with me.
To officially be my one and only,” I rasp.
“And I swear I’ll do right by you. I know our relationship will be long-distance until we can figure out the logistics, but we can talk every day.
When you have time off, you’re welcome to come and stay with me for a bit.
I’ll make you those scallops you like, and I’ll play the piano for you.
” She chokes out a half-cry, half-giggle.
“And once you buy this place, I’ll come here for an extended stay and we’ll sit on the front porch, and I’ll proudly retell the story as many times as you like of how you changed my heart and made me a believer in happy endings. ”
“Oh, Ridge.”
“You and me, Sweetheart. We’ll figure this next chapter out. I swear.”
I watch her swipe the tears from her face before she boldly holds up her pinky. I follow my instincts and loop my little finger with hers, kissing her knuckles.
“I love you, Beverly.”
“I… I love you too, Ridge.”
Those words coming out of her perfect mouth send a thrill down my spine. “We’re gonna do this right, and we’re gonna have a wonderful life together. You’ll see.”
***
Beverly’s homemade pumpkin pie is so good I’m a glutton and go back for seconds.
When I’m finished, I set my empty plate on the side table and watch George poke the burning logs in the fireplace.
I’m in a food coma and stare at the glowing embers crackling in the peaceful aftermath of the best Thanksgiving I’ve ever had.
Madison starts gathering discarded dessert plates, and Beverly hands off a sleeping baby Joey to me, not George.
“Can you hold him for a minute? I want to help Maddy. I’ll be right back.”
“Sure.”
I shift and get comfortable among the overstuffed cushions, my smile instant as I stare down at the sleeping boy’s angelic face.
Of course, my mind instantly goes to Roman, and I wonder what he’s doing in this exact moment.
Is he sleepy and nodding off in his mother’s arms?
Highly unlikely. Maybe he’s strapped into his bouncy chair and being entertained by Mira or his grandmother?
Earlier, on the phone while we were at the Milton farmhouse, Whitney had told me her mom was ecstatic to be with her only grandson again, the long flight from Kansas worth it.
I only hope Whitney can find joy in the small moments when it’s just her and Roman.
“You’re good with him,” George says from across the room. He’s sitting on the hearth, his black and red flannel shirt blending in with the mahogany wood of the antique mantle.
“Thanks. I don’t know if Beverly told you this or not, but I have a son named Roman, who is the same age as Joey. I feel like they could become best friends if we lived closer.”
George nods with glee. “I’d like for Joey to have a best friend someday.”
“He will,” I reassure.
Beverly filled me in on George being on the spectrum and how he was bullied incessantly by his late-grandfather’s farm foreman for decades. To see this gentle giant thriving in life with a loving wife and his infant son is what dreams are made of. If only I could be so lucky.
“I’ve never seen Bev happier. You did that to her.” George’s blue eyes are intense, his kindness and honesty intriguing.
“I did?”
“Yes. And please don’t take this the wrong way when I say, I hope you’ll protect her heart. Beverly deserves a guy who will make her happy for the rest of her life. She’s a sucker for those happy ending movies.”
I chuckle and drag my nose across Joey’s dark hair, inhaling his baby-soft essence. “I know. She’s made that very clear. And don’t worry. I have nothing but the best of intentions, George.”
We’re both quiet for a couple of minutes.
I listen to the popping and crackling of wood in the hot fire.
The sound of a grandfather clock chiming eight o’clock.
The big dog snoring in the corner. The sweet little squeaks and grunts from Joey dreaming in my arms. Somewhere along the way, I’ve realized that the good life is not made up of star-studded, peak moments but of many small ones—imperfect, momentary, ordinary.
Precious.
I’m ready to slow down and pay attention, my heart bursting with gratitude for this gift of awareness.
“George?”
“Hmmm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“If you were me, how would you go about making Beverly happy for the rest of her life?”
His brow furrows in deep thought for several seconds. “I think I’d buy her the Milton place as a surprise, pack up my stuff in California, and relocate so I could be with her forever.”
My lips quirk into a smile. “But you forgot one very important thing.”
“What’s that?” George asks.
“My son, Roman, lives in California. I can’t leave him behind.”
“Ah, there’s the conundrum,” he says, his head moving up and down like a bobble-head doll.
He pauses, scratching his head. “Look at it this way, if you and Beverly are truly meant to be together, it will all work out in the end. You just have to be patient, that’s all.
I never thought I’d ever get married and have a child.
But look at me now.” He opens his arms wide, the look of pure astonishment reflecting on his handsome face.
I realize, he’s right. I need patience. Fortitude to get through the next few months, navigating my new role as a father and as a man in love with a beautiful woman.
“You’re definitely a blessed man,” I reply. “Got any other life advice for me?”
George rubs his stubbly chin, his eyes lighting up with revelation.
“Let Thanksgiving be Thanksgiving. Let Christmas be Christmas. And let yourself just be, even if you’re uncertain.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You don’t have to solve everything. Find your peace and allow it to strengthen you.
What’s meant for you will come without you having to chase it.
You don’t have to force it, beg for it, or fear losing it.
All you have to do is stay still and trust God’s plan.
He’s already working things out in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. ”
His words penetrate my heart, and I’m touched by his wisdom. “Thank you, George.”
“You’re welcome.”
I lean my head back and hold Joey closer.
Beverly was a total stranger the day she walked into the school library and saw me sitting on the floor, running my lines.
Now, she’s become very important to me. And while I’ve only known her for a few short months, I feel like I’ve loved her for a lifetime.
According to George, all I have to do is stay still and let things play out how they’re supposed to.
If only it were that simple.