Chapter 19
Sam
Good-ness. The muscles of his chest were so tight that he physically ached. How was Sam expected to control these feelings? Better yet, how was he supposed to get close enough to Trinity Banks in the next two days to convince her to never leave his side ever again?
There was just no other option.
He had to have her.
Now that he was next to her, the thought of leaving her again felt detestable.
She was the main reason he had gone to Montana, so he expected to be drawn to her when he saw her…
but… it was all too much. She was lovely and smart, and the way she talked about God made him feel like she was a stable person.
He listened to the way she reacted to things in conversation, and he marveled at how sweet and considerate she was.
He had come there missing her already, and every second that he was in the room with her at that wedding made him feel even more convinced. He wanted to be all-in with her starting today, and it was difficult to come out and say that in a tactful way.
He had to rein it in even though it felt impossible.
He had gotten almost no time alone with her, and when he did, they had gotten torturously close to a kiss, or some kind of profession of their feelings.
As it stood, Sam felt like he was on the verge of some kind of precipice.
He had to have closure. He had to have her next to him.
He had tried to leave room on the couch for her, but Henry's cousin, Mark, kept scooting over.
Ty walked in wearing flannel pajamas that were plaid and mostly pink and white with other pastel colors. She glanced his way, and he called her over, but she hesitated because Mark was too close. Sam couldn't relent. He had to be next to her. He waved his hand, telling her that he would make room.
Henry and his sister were celebrating a victory for their team on the Wii, and Ty moved Sam's way.
As she approached, he scooted over, making more room for her, putting himself closer to the spot where Bailey was sitting.
The maneuver produced an extra six or so inches of space, and she smiled as she came over there.
"I'm just going to sit right here," she said, pointing at the floor and trying to seem casual.
"Here, you want a pillow?" Amelia offered, tossing a pillow at her sister.
Judd and Henry's cousin, Oliver, were also sitting on the floor, so it was a normal thing for her to offer.
Ty caught the pillow her sister threw. "Thanks," she said.
Sam's heart dropped. "There's room right here," he said. "Or I'll sit on the floor, and you take this spot.
"Aw, chivalry is not dead," Amelia said as Sam stood up and took the pillow from Ty.
"I'll scoot over if you both want to sit up here, Mark offered, seeing that he had room.
"That's okay," Sam said, since he was almost already on the floor with the pillow.
There were so many people and so much chaos that he easily got by with letting his back and arms touch her legs.
They didn't acknowledge each other in any sort of special way that would get the attention of others, but there were plenty of opportunities to accidentally let his body brush hers.
And she did not pull away. She made herself available to come into contact with him.
It was a delicate balance the two of them had, touching each other when no one noticed.
At least he thought no one did.
"We've got Tommy and Lottie back together, over here," Judd said, pointing at them. He was standing in the middle of the room and had just taken a turn at Wii bowling. He noticed their proximity when he turned and faced them.
Ty adjusted, shifting away casually when he called them out. Sam wanted to confirm it and say that Tommy and Lottie were back together, but he didn't.
They played games with everyone for a couple of hours. There were chips and drinks, and Sam felt like he might never be alone with Ty ever again.
Henry and Amelia were the first to excuse themselves. Henry's cousins and Bailey still wanted to hang out, but Josh and Judd agreed that they needed to be up early and should turn in. Ty left the room with them, saying goodnight to Bailey and her cousins.
Sam couldn’t take it any longer. He had to be frank and make a move.
"Hey, I need to talk to Ty for a few minutes.
I'll meet you in a minute, Judd. Josh, I'll see you in the morning.
" Sam man-hugged Josh. "I’m looking forward to shooting in the morning.
Are you coming to breakfast with us in Missoula after? "
Josh shook his head. "We're busy this time of year. I'll be helping my dad tomorrow. Thanks, though."
Sam and Ty were both staying in the main house with the Sutters, though they were on different ends of the house.
Ty was in a bedroom in the main house, near where they were now, and Sam and Judd were on air mattresses on the back porch area.
It was fully enclosed and heated, but they wouldn't have privacy there, since Judd was in the room.
Sam also knew he wouldn't take her to the upstairs bedroom for propriety's sake.
Although he didn't feel very proper at the moment. He knew he had to be a gentleman.
Sam told her they could talk anywhere, like in the kitchen, since no one was around. Judd and Josh finally walked off, and he was alone with her, thank goodness.
"Where are we going?" she asked.
"I don't know," he said. "There are too many people around. I feel like Bailey and Mark and them are going to come out here any second."
"I know, and it's cold, so we can't go outside," she said. She smiled. "But I know of a spot where no one will bother us. I'll take you there. We have to go outside to get there."
"Okay," he said, nodding and feeling willing to follow her anywhere.
She told him that she was going to get a coat. Sam did the same and went to grab his own coat, assuming they were stepping outside.
None of this was going fast enough.
He finally caught sight of her as she was crossing the living room, heading his way.
She was moving quickly, jogging silently as she swiftly crossed towards him.
She smiled, and he just stood there and let her come to him.
Her hair was cropped in a shorter style above her shoulders.
She looked fresh and put together, even in pajamas.
"Are we going?" he asked in a quiet tone.
She nodded and reached for the door handle, not hesitating, and Sam took the door for her, held it open while she walked out, and then closed it. He followed her down the sidewalk and along the driveway and to the exterior door that led to Mr. Sutter's workshop.
"I came in here earlier," she said, stepping inside. "Mrs. Sutter told me I could use it to make a call when the house was full at dinner."
Ty crossed to a little couch that was on the wall close to the door. The workshop was dark and quiet, and Sam had never in his life seen such a beautiful, inviting couch. He smiled as he sat down in the corner of it, stretching and taking up almost half the room.
She sat down next to him, and when she did, he closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of her and praying for patience and the ability to say the right things.
"Are you okay?" she asked when she saw him.
"Yes," he said, smiling as he opened his eyes.
"You're probably tired."
"I'm the one who changed my plans and stayed here."
"Thank you for doing that, I'm happy we've been able to hang out," she said. She sat down on the other side of the couch, turning to kick her leg onto the seat. "I would have been so sad to see you for two hours, and then that's it—it's just over."
"I know I was saying anything I could to get Judd to stay tonight."
"You did good. He was talking like it was his idea."
Sam laughed. "He's just acting like that."
"What do you mean?"
"I told him I like you and I want to stay the night, but we needed to make it seem normal. So he helped me out."
She laughed and shook her head, and then her face turned serious, as if she had just thought of something. "You like me?" she asked, cutting her eyes at him.
Sam started to say something to confirm that he did, but he just let out a little breath and closed his eyes. How could she not know? How could he tell her? Where should he start?
"Are you hesitating?" she asked. "Because I completely understand why you would. I know I said I didn't feel stable back then. I'm sorry."
"Do you think I'm hesitating?" he asked.
"Well, you hesitated when I asked if you liked me."
He grinned at her. "I hesitated because I don't know where to begin. I like you, Ty. That's an understatement."
"What happens after tomorrow?" she asked, biting at her cheek a little as she waited for him to respond.
"I don't know," he said.
"Because you live in L.A. and I live in San Francisco.
"But you'll be in Monterey for Christmas, and that's closer."
"Do you want to try to see each other for Christmas?" she asked.
She was so sweet and happy that he wanted to pick her up and shove her into his pocket for safekeeping.
"Yes," he said. He didn't add that he wanted to see her every day after that, too.
"Could you come to my parents' maybe, during Christmas?"
"Yes," he said, with no hesitation.
"Oh, really? That would be so much fun. They would love that. I would love it. Are you being serious right now?"
"Yes, I am. If you ask me to drive to Monterey to see you, I'll drive to Monterey. That's what Tommy would do for Lottie, anyway."
She grinned at him. "Our characters got mentioned several times tonight," she said.
"People like us together," he said with a little shrug.
"Sam, do you know that sometimes my body feels like it's dying even though nothing's wrong?"
"What?" he asked.
"I have anxiety," she said, looking straight into his eyes. "Sometimes I panic."
"What about it?" he said.
She gave a little shrug like she didn’t know how to put it.
"It exists," she said.
"Is it happening right now?"
"No."
"What do you need me to do when it happens?" he said.
She stared down thoughtfully. It was dimly lit in that workshop. There was just enough light to see the soft shapes of her beautiful face.
"Just to hug me and tell me I'm going to be okay. I'll probably ask you if I'm going to die, and you just tell me I'm not. Sometimes I mention my heart, or stomach, or arteries, or neck. I'll say a symptom, usually, and tell you I'm scared of it."
"And what do I do?"
"You just tell me it's okay and that I'm not dying from it. And maybe that I'm super cool and strong for getting through it."
He thought about saying that to her, and he nodded. "I think I can manage that," he said.
She was quiet for a minute. They just sat next to each other, their legs touching.
"Sam?" she said.
"Yeah."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything. For being here… for being cool when I tell you that."
"It's no big deal, Ty. I knew you deal with anxiety."
She smiled, and he could tell she was relieved and happy. Sam was over the moon that she seemed to want to keep seeing him. They had made plans. They would see each other at Christmas. She had invited him to her family's, and that was significant.
Ty took off her coat and used it to cover her lap.
She smiled and slowly reached up and put her hand in the air between them.
She just held it there, and he made eye contact.
"Hang on," he said. He took his coat off as well, and then he reached up and touched his hand to hers. He laced his fingers in hers.
Sam had feelings of forever in his heart.
Ty shared things that made it obvious she trusted him, and then she gazed at him in the darkness like she was thankful she could be vulnerable.
She was giving him some sort of promise.
She had broken his heart when she said she couldn't be with him before, and now she was looking at him like she would not break it again.
"Sam, can I come over there with you?" she said in a sweet, hesitant voice as they held hands.
"Yes," he said, his low voice getting caught in his throat a little.
She started to move to come his way, and Sam used the hand that was touching hers to pull her into his embrace. He wanted to kiss her, and he was going to get to that, but there was nothing he could do to stop himself from pulling her close and holding her in his arms for a moment first.
Sam took a deep breath, and relief flooded his body as he held Ty close to himself.
Finally.
He felt like crying. His heart was racing, and for a moment, he locked in and didn't even realize how tightly he was holding onto her. He loosened his grip when he noticed the force he was using.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" she said, her voice comically strained.
His chest shook with laughter, and so did hers. He loosened his grip even more, and she squeezed him, her precious arms gripping around his mid-section and giving him the tightest squeeze she could manage.
"Aww," he said, making a groaning noise in his chest and reacting to her sweetness.
She pulled back and stared up at him, blinking.
Sam was done for. Her mouth. There was just enough light in the room for him to make out the shape of her lips, and he ducked to kiss them. He pulled her to him and let his mouth land on hers, and it was like sweet honey.
She moaned, a precious little sound of relief, and Sam's body was overcome with love and desire for this woman.
He wanted to have every part of her right that instant, and yet he knew he would go take his time and treat her right, be a gentleman.
Slowly and softly, he kissed her, every single contact an act of love, a statement of commitment.
Their mouths met maybe a dozen times, sweet, tender, patient kisses where their lips sweetly met, softened, and then pulled away again.
The touch was light. Sam was not in a hurry.
Now that he had her, he was patient and content.
His only goal was to do things right, to keep her by her side. He dreaded ever not having her again.
He pulled back at the thought of it, and she looked up at him. "I missed you so much, Ty. I was waiting for you for so long."