Chapter 3
Chapter Three
PATIENCE
I woke, a strangled cry ripping from my lungs.
“Jettttt!”
The images of him being tortured sent my pulse beating overtime and my skin slick with sweat as I jolted upright in bed.
This wasn’t like the dreams I’d had of him over the years when he’d been gone. No, those had been sweet or filled with heat.
What had awakened me was a nightmare.
I tried to calm my pounding heart with the knowledge that Jett was alive. They’d found him.
He hadn’t died.
But in my night terrors—ones I’d been having since we heard of his capture—things didn’t work out that way. And even still with the knowledge that he was safe, the images when I fell asleep at night were full of horror, sorrow, and heartbreak.
I didn’t know the ins and outs of what happened to Jett, but my mind conjured up a lot of frightening scenarios filled with gruesome details, along with an ending where I never saw the most important person in my life—besides my son—ever again.
“Come back to me,” I whispered to the empty room.
Falling back onto the massive pile of pillows on my bed, I sucked in a deep breath just as the door burst open and my son ran in, jumping onto the mattress next to me.
“Momma, why are you screaming?”
I pushed myself up to a sitting position, my back resting against the headboard.
A figure in the doorway caught my eye, and I glanced over taking in the sight of Ruby, her head tilted as she watched us.
Her tired gaze took me in with a sympathetic look causing guilt to settle in the pit of my stomach.
She didn’t need to be worrying about me when I knew the concern for her brother was eating her up inside.
Her, Gramps, and even Lyric welcomed me with open arms when Jett brought me and my six-month-old son into their fold. They hadn’t blinked at making a home for me at eighteen when my mother and stepfather washed their hands of us.
Jett had been my savior, and his family had mirrored his enormous heart, changing my life in ways I could hardly formulate into words.
Ruby narrowed her eyes. “Don’t give me that look.”
I drew air in through my nose and let it out. She, along with all the ladies in our lives, were as intuitive as the men. No doubt she was reading my mind.
Griffin climbed onto my lap and placed his little hands against the sides of my face, studying me. “What look is she talking about, Mommy?” He squished my cheeks, and tilted his head much like Ruby had been doing seconds before. “Is it the sad one because you miss Daddy?”
Both Ruby and I pulled in a sharp breath simultaneously. Once Griffin had called Jett Daddy for the first time that night we’d received the news of him missing, he’d latched onto it and never let go. Every time me, Ruby, and the others heard him address him that way, it still surprised us a bit.
But not as much as it had for Jett. The first time he’d finally talked to Griffin on the phone after being rescued, my little guy had said, “Daddy, when are you coming home?”
The phone had been on speaker and a deep gasp had echoed through the room. Tears had pooled in my eyes and dribbled down my cheeks, while my heart broke for both boy and man.
Jett’s hesitation made my stomach sink, not because I thought he was upset at hearing Griffin call him that. No, that was pure shock. But because I had a bad feeling he was putting off making plans to come home soon.
Or maybe at all.
Call it a feeling.
A really horrible one at that.
After a few seconds, Jett regained control, but his words still caught in his throat, showing how emotional he was when he answered, “I’m not sure, Champ. I have stuff I have to take care of here.”
He hadn’t lied. Lyric had explained a bit about what Jett had to go through when they had flown him from Germany to Texas. He had to go through a whole reintegration process after being taken as a POW then rescued, as well as many evaluations. It was extensive and took longer than I’d thought.
It had been twelve weeks since Jett was found. Two he had spent in Germany in the hospital, and the other ten in Texas. While Ruby wanted to rush to Texas when he arrived, her brother had talked her out of it. He explained he had a lot to take care of and was not in the right frame of mind.
Ruby wasn’t happy. She hated, as did the rest of us, that he would be alone for Christmas and not here with us. There was also the fact she wanted to lay her eyes on him in the flesh for confirmation he was okay. As did I.
Seeing him over FaceTime for the first time had taken a month. And when we did, I believed he’d held off so we hadn’t seen more of what the evil men did to him. His face may have been healing, but his cuts and bruises were still visible.
After Ruby noticed that, it had been even harder for her to abide by his wishes, and she almost jumped on a plane anyway, but Lyric and Gramps had talked her out of it.
As for me, well, my best friend seemed to struggle even talking to me on the phone, so it was clear he hadn’t wanted to see me. My heart felt as if it were shredded into a million pieces. I had wanted more with Jett, but now I would be happy with just one thing:
Having my best friend back.
I knew it was possible he’d never be the same person. Physically he might be okay, but I’d been reading about PTSD and knew that mentally was a totally different story.
To me, though, he’d always be my person. And I’d never give up on him.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and words finally worked their way through the lump in my throat to answer my son. “Yeah, baby. I miss Jett so much.”
Griffin leaned in and kissed my salty, tear-streaked cheek. “I miss him too, but he’ll be back.”
If only I believed that.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed another figure moving in next to Ruby at the door; I turned my head to find Gramps there, taking in the scene.
“Hey, Champ…” Clearly the nickname Jett gave Griffin had caught on like wildfire since Gramps and everyone else were using it. “What do you say we head down to the kitchen with Lyric, Autumn, and Tristan to help mix up some pancakes?”
My son’s hands dropped from my face, and he jumped to his feet on the bed, bouncing on the mattress as if it were his personal trampoline. “I say yes!”
The innocent elation over pancakes warmed my heart and had the corners of my mouth tipping up in a small smile. Griffin dropped to his butt and bounced to the floor onto his feet, sticking the landing as if he was an Olympic gymnast.
He started to run toward Gramps, but then stopped in his tracks and turned back around, rushing back to the bed. “Are you okay, Mommy?”
Gah. How the hell did I get so damn lucky?
Being pregnant at seventeen was not on my list of life choices.
Having sex with the biggest douche in school—a one-time thing and not enjoyable at all—because I craved acceptance was also not on that list. Having a baby while still in high school? Nope, it wasn't there either.
But I’d do it all over again because it meant I had my son.
And with him, Jett came into my life.
“Yeah, sweetheart, I’ll be okay.”
Taking my word for it, he gave me a radiant smile and made a mad dash for the door. “Let’s go, Gramps. I’m starving.”
As they headed down the hall, I could hear my guy chattering, letting Gramps know they needed to make enough for everyone, but that I really needed some the most because I was sad. My heart flipped over in my chest.
Griffin was a blessing. As were Jett, Gramps, Ruby, Lyric, Autumn, Tristan, and all the others I gained along with them.
Thinking of all the wonderful things that came into my life the day Jett crouched in front of me outside the pizza place, when I thought my world was falling apart, sent more tears trickling down my cheeks.
I brushed at the liquid rapidly falling as the mattress dipped next to me. Ruby leaned in and pulled me into a hug, her warmth surrounding me like a blanket.
“It may not feel like everything is going to be okay right now, but I truly believe it will work out,” she said softly.
Choking on a sob, I was fighting to get out my thoughts. “B-but he’s o-out. He c-can come h-home, and he d-doesn’t want t-to.” My stomach rolled, and I thought I might be sick. “I n-need him.”
That sounded awful, I know. Jett had been through hell and there I was talking about how I needed him. Not for one second would I not be there for him too, but there was something that nobody knew.
Something that scared the crap out of me.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell Jett about it because he had enough going on. So did everyone else. But normally, when something was wrong, he was my person. Jett was the one I talked to. He was the one who helped me through my worries, fears, and troubles.
And I was sure that I was in big trouble.
Ruby pushed back, her hands resting softly on my shoulder, and her eyes studied me for a few seconds like a bug under a microscope.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
Biting the inside of my cheek, I worked to try and come up with something. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to be a burden.
Not then. Not ever.
The woman in front of me—not only a friend, but like a sister—shook her head. “Don’t try to deflect or come up with something that isn’t exactly what is bothering you.”
“W-what?” I sputtered.
Damn these people and their psychic abilities and shit. I was sure it could help them in situations, but it was damn frustrating when you were trying to keep something on the down low. Especially for their own good. Again, it was about not being a burden.
Something my mother always made clear that I was.
“I see the wheels turning in your pretty brown eyes, but I felt you stiffen for a moment and can tell there is something more than just Jett being gone that is bothering you.” Ruby gave me a knowing look. “I’ve sensed a difference in you for a week now.”
Her tone left no room for avoidance, but she wasn’t mad. Ruby was a beautiful soul, and I’d rarely seen her angry. Unless of course you messed with one of her own. That included her family, friends and, lucky for us, Griffin and me.
Could I tell her? I knew I wasn’t going to be able to fight evil alone.
A shiver raced through my body when I thought about the text that I’d received.
In a gentle tone, she said, “You can tell me.”
Taking a deep breath in through my nose, I blew it out from my mouth before saying, “If I tell you, then you have to promise not to tell Jett.”
She looked torn. Keeping something that may be important, and when she knew I’d said I needed him, was not going to be easy for her.
“I can’t add to his worries.”
She searched my gaze and then nodded. “Okay, but can I tell Lyric if I think we need him?”
Shit, I should have known that question was coming. But I nodded. “As long as he promises not to tell Jett either.”
“I’ll tell him to promise,” she said.
I was in over my head. I knew it from the second I opened the message. I wasn’t going to make her hide stuff from her husband, but I was trying to spare Jett.
I’d also maybe kept it to myself, taking it on alone for the last week because I had a feeling if one knew, they all would. And that was confirmed with her next statement.
She did the little head tilt thing again. “You do know you work for No Surrender and are part of this family? You can go to them, and they will have your back in a heartbeat, just like me.”
Again, I nodded, knowing that to be the truth. Also in acceptance that if Lyric felt he needed the guys, they soon would find out what I was about to share.
I swallowed, ready to spill the beans.
“Okay, tell me. I’m here to help.”
Help.
God knew I was going to need that.
Because I couldn’t lose my son.