Chapter 17 Patience
Chapter Seventeen
PATIENCE
I jackknifed up in bed, my heart about to race right out of my chest.
Ungodly sounds echoed through the room as if someone was being tortured. For a minute, I froze, thinking I was locked in a nightmare as I listened to the cries of pain, shouts of terror, and wails of agony.
Then Jett’s voice drifted to my ears as he called out for someone, his voice laced with so much sorrow that I jumped into action. Searching, I found my phone laying on the floor next to the bed, where it must have dropped when I fell asleep while talking to my husband.
I should be right next to him.
All I knew was that I needed to get to him. I ran toward the kitchen, not disconnecting the call even though the things I heard threatened to take me to my knees. I didn’t want to leave him alone; the call was like a lifeline at that moment.
With shaky hands, I yanked open the small miscellaneous drawer next to the fridge and grabbed a key. Thank heavens Jett had us exchanging keys in case of an emergency.
Because if this wasn’t an emergency, then I didn’t have tits.
Shoot, we all knew when you started sounding like Alley, it meant you were losing your mind. But it also could mean you were one badass woman. Right now, though, I was not sane for sure.
My feet couldn’t move fast enough, and as I flew out the door, not even bothering to lock it, I almost face-planted in the hall, but managed to keep myself upright.
I fought my still trembling hands, trying to get the key in the hole, and my panic rose.
I could still hear his cries for help, for someone to hold on and my soul ached for him.
Finally, I got the door open and shut it behind me. I rushed into the bedroom, and what I saw had my heart splintering into a million tiny pieces.
Jett thrashed back and forth, the sheet and blankets tangled around his legs; sweat lingered on every inch of exposed skin as he howled like a wounded animal.
Having read up on stuff, I knew better than to touch him or get too close. It killed me not to just be able to reach out and pull him into my arms.
“Jett. Can you hear me?” I called out softly. “It’s me, Patience. You’re at the condo, and I’m right here with you. Please wake up,” I pleaded.
His moaning and movements didn’t dull one bit. Sorrow ripped through the dark room as he said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m so fucking sorry.”
It was gut-wrenching, and my world began tumbling down around me as I struggled to find a solution. With my phone in my hand, I almost dialed Gyth for help, but in a last-ditch effort to handle this on my own, I tried soothing my husband again. Just not with words.
I sang.
“From the moment I glanced into your eyes, the spark was alive. Just one look, that’s all it took. You eased my soul and stole my heart, right from the very start.”
Jett’s movements slowed and his cries got quieter, so I kept going.
“You’re in my dreams and on my mind, consuming my thoughts every day, along with every night. How do I tell you that you’re the one, the one that I will love for all time?”
When he stilled, his lids popping open, I stopped. His gaze was trained on me, but the look in his sorrow-filled eyes still seemed far away, like he was looking right through me. He blinked a couple of times, and I could tell he was coming back to the present.
Jett sat up and threw his legs over the edge of the bed but hung his head. “What are you doing here?”
Hurt by his angry tone, I didn’t answer. I knew he wasn’t trying to be mean, but I couldn’t wash away my feelings. He looked up, and our eyes met.
“I’m sorry I spoke to you that way.” He blew out a breath. “I didn’t want you to see this, and I could have hurt you.”
Unable to handle the distance, I took a step forward and watched his eyes widen in panic. “You’re not going to hurt me.”
When he stayed silent, I took a couple more steps until I was standing right in front of him.
He leaned his head back and looked up at me, his expressive blue eyes so filled with pain.
I tossed my phone onto the bed and, needing to touch him, I placed both palms on his head, sliding my fingers through his messy locks.
His eyes closed, and he sucked in a breath. What happened next wounded every inch of my heart but also gave me hope because he was trusting me at that moment.
Jett reached out and softly grabbed my hips, dragging me the last couple of inches toward him, and laid his forehead against my stomach. “I couldn’t save them.”
He sounded so broken as sobs took control of his body and he clung to me. Hot wet tears soaked the thin fabric of my tank top, and that was when I realized what I was wearing.
Which wasn’t much.
I couldn’t think about that right then. Being there for my husband was the only thing that mattered. He may not realize it yet, but this is how it was supposed to work. He’d always been there for me, and I was going to be there for him.
He was my person.
Always had been.
The need to comfort, to make it better consumed me. I softly shifted my hands through his hair and whispered gently. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. What you all went through was unthinkable, but I know you did everything you could.”
I didn’t need to know all the details to know that about the man in front of me. That was just who he was. He’d gone to the end of the earth to care for me and Griffin. He would do it for his family, and I knew he would have done it for his friends.
“I can still hear them dying every night when I fall asleep.”
His sobs continued, a few sentences coming here or there. He had to be tired and needed to sleep. I had to help him. But would he let me? It was two in the morning, and there was still time to rest.
“Let me hold you while you sleep,” I told him softly.
Jett’s head snapped up, and he dropped his hands from my hips, his eyes wild and uncertain. “Patience, I said I could have hurt you. If you were right next to me…” His head frantically shook back and forth. “I would never forgive myself if I harmed you in any way.”
I moved my hands to his cheeks and stared down at him. “I know you won’t harm me. Not being able to help you or be with you is the only thing that hurts me. Please let me do this?”
My eyes implored him to say yes, and when he nodded, a breath of air I didn’t realize I’d been holding rushed out of me. I dropped my hands and crawled into the bed, placing my back against the headboard. Then I patted my legs.
After some hesitation, Jett climbed up next to me and laid his head on my thighs. I began running my hand through his hair, down his back, and then started all over again.
Silence loomed in the room until Jett said, “You sang to me.”
Stiffening, my hand paused in its momentum. I didn’t realize he'd noticed, and it was only a little bit of the song—a song I wrote about him.
“Did you write a song for me?” he asked quietly.
I felt my cheeks flush as they heated. Obviously, I hadn’t thought it through when I’d opened my mouth, making myself vulnerable. But Jett had let himself be too when he’d let some of his feelings out and trusted me with his tears.
“Yeah, it was for you.”
It was hard to admit, and my insecurities rose within me, but this was Jett—the boy, the man, my person who I could have told anything to. Except how in love with him I’d always been. Now the cat was kind of out of the bag if he’d picked up on all the words.
“Would you sing the whole thing for me?” He lightly squeezed my calf. “Please, Roo?”
I could hardly think as his warm breath swooshed across my thighs when he spoke. My body tingled with other feelings, and I had to push them away. It wasn’t the time. My best friend, the man I loved, my husband, was asking for what he needed, and I was going to give it to him.
The words poured from my mouth and bled from my heart.
Jett’s body settled, a sigh rushing from his lips, and as the song came to an end, he slept.
No nightmare to be heard again.
A soft snore fluttered to my ears, and my eyes blinked open.
Looking down at the man whose head still rested on my legs, his strong arm wrapped around them, my heart warmed at the peaceful look on his face. He’d slept for hours. I found myself wondering how often he went without sleep and if he’d let me comfort him every night.
“I can feel you thinking up there.” His deep, gravelly voice made my butt jump against the mattress.
My neck was stiff from sleeping sitting up all night, but it was worth every kink my body would have that day or even for days to come. I’d do it for him as long as he wanted me to.
Jett stirred, releasing his hold on my legs, and moved to get off the bed as he spoke. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
The worry in his tone was similar to last night when he thought he’d hurt me, just not quite as intense. I was going to shut that down really quick.
“You didn’t scare me. I was just startled because I thought you were—” The words died in my throat, and I gulped.
Desire slammed into me, and my body felt like it was on fire as I took in my husband wearing only a pair of tight, black boxer briefs. They were molded to his powerful thighs, his sculpted chest was on full display, every ripple causing my mouth to dry up like the desert, and my heavens…
“The bulge was real.”
Jett stared at me for a second, and then his eyes widened as he looked down at himself, then back up to me.
Oh my God. I said that out loud.
“Shit, sorry,” he muttered.
Cheeks now flaming red with embarrassment, I jumped from the bed on the opposite side and stared at him.
He took a slow trip up and down my body before focusing back on my face. That was all it took. My panties were drenched, and I tingled in my most intimate place. Jett’s blue eyes danced with fire, lust burning bright.
He feels it too.