Chapter 10
FIFI
“I’m glad you think so,” he murmurs as we fall in bed and I land next to him. I shiver as he nibbles at my earlobe, his favorite part of me to nibble on—or at least I thought so before he devastated me.
His words don’t make sense. “I think so? What do I think?” I don’t care if he knows how brainless I am when he’s kissing me and touching me like this.
“You referred to me as god.” He chuckles and touches my face, brushing back some tendrils that seem to be stuck to my dewy temple.
A blush of heat rises as I remember my mindless ranting in the heat of the moment, and I smile, getting comfortable with my total abandon, embracing the naughty side of me that belongs only to him.
A thought bubbles up that maybe it’s a little dangerous to let him have so much, especially since I’m not at all sure how much of him is mine, or if I have any of him at all besides his lust. I’m not counting his lust for much based on his reputation.
I know exactly how cheaply lust is given by him, and college studs in general who have just enough experience and way too many hormones running around in their systems to be highly motivated and un-shy about making their desires crystal clear.
In fact, I’m pretty sure college boys are sex-barbarians almost without exception.
Watching me, he quirks a brow. “Have you changed your mind?” He doesn’t look worried.
“No, but only because I was clearly mindless when I said those things. You made sure of it.” My grin and the fact that my words come out in a whisper soften whatever kind of blow I meant to strike at his ridiculous ego. Probably because I’m aware that his ego is protecting a soft underbelly.
Not that he isn’t highly confident. But I get the feeling that he’s vulnerable underneath the impenetrable exterior toughness. Though I’m not sure what’s made him so protective unless it’s in his makeup, genetic in some way.
“You’re not disappointed.” He’s not asking.
I sigh. “No. But I wonder maybe a little if I’m just another satisfied customer in a long line—”
He puts a finger over my mouth to stop me, his eyes darkening. “This is nothing like… whatever.”
“Whatever?”
“Whoever?” He grins. “Don’t call me on my grammar at a time like this.”
I sit up because he’s doing it again, purposely leaving his message obscure, avoiding any clear revelation about his feelings or where I stand in his prolific love life.
“Going somewhere?”
“Do you care?” I’m being unfair, provoking him out of frustration when it’s the last thing I want to do. I want him to give whatever he has freely.
His eyes go dark again, and any hint of a smile disappears as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close against his chest on top of him until I’m staring into his heart-wrenching face and those vivid blue eyes.
“I care.” He stops, and I wait for more. Maybe I’m greedy, but I want so much more even though I should concede that these words lift my heart into a tumble and my blood feels like shooting stars flying through my veins.
He cups the back of my head and brings our lips to within a whisper.
“I care… a lot.” The words are so low and raspy I wouldn’t have heard them if I weren’t listening hard for them.
I stop myself from asking him to repeat them on the pretense I didn’t hear.
But I don’t because his mouth covers mine and he swallows my breath and whatever I might say as he kisses me with equal measures of passion and tenderness.
Whatever words he doesn’t say, he manages to tell me with his mouth and the way he holds me, as if he treasures me as much as he wants me to give him pleasure.
Don’t I feel the same way, or is there more in the way I abandon my reserve and make myself vulnerable? I don’t know. And right now, as I feel his cock stiffen against my belly, I don’t even care.
Lowering my hands, I push his sweats down easily, baring his silky erection as I caress him. My hands tremble as he sucks in a breath and growls.
“Don’t tease me unless you mean it.”
“Oh, I mean it, hockey boy. Just you wait.” Keeping one hand wrapped around him, I rise to my knees and press him onto his back. Kneeling before him, I gaze down, taking all of his luscious gorgeousness in with my eyes.
His abs are bared, and his hips surge up under the pulsing of my hand on his dick. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but his eyes darken and shine like they’re salivating with anticipation.
Unable to resist or even think of how to ease my way into having him, all at once, I clamp both hands around his irresistible hot flesh and go down with my mouth open and drooling to take him in as far as I can go.
It’s a stretch, and my eyes water, but the silky feel and salty taste of him sends a shudder of pleasure burning through me until I squirm, pressing my thighs tight together.
He jerks and makes a guttural animal noise that I hope is pleasure as I get caught up in the hot hardness pressing at the back of my throat.
“Jesus Christ… Fi…fi.” He clutches my hair, and I can feel his hands shaking, and that sends me over the edge of reason. Sucking hard, I move up and down and swallow as much of his cock as I can until I gag.
“Fifi…” He turns my name into a raspy plea, sounding like a wounded beast begging for his life. I want to tell him I’ve got this, that he can let go and enjoy the ride, but I keep my mouth clamped on him.
Running my tongue around his tip, I lick his salty precum, and my pussy weeps with pleasure.
Resisting my instinctive urge to move one hand down to touch my dripping pussy, I suck hard and take him all the way.
Then, in unrelenting up-and-down plunges, I lose myself in an accelerating rhythm, moving faster and faster, pouring everything into the motion, into him, and feeling him stiffen like petrified wood.
He twitches and spasms in my mouth until he cries out, his whole body jerking as he clamps his hands on my head, and cum shoots down my throat.
I’m ready, opened up for him like he’s the fountain of life providing my first, last, and only meal, swallowing and choking at the same time. I drink down his endless hot streams, filling up, drowning in unspeakable pleasure, not ready to stop when he finally stills.
He lets up his grip on my hair and holds my face, gently nudging me to release him. I gag as he pops from my mouth, and he yanks me by the shoulders off of him.
“Fifi… Fifi…” My name is broken on his lips as he drags me up to wrap me in his arms, pressed against his chest, raining kisses all over my sticky face.
My eyes water, and I’m not sure if it’s tears of joy or the strain of gagging from swallowing him whole.
I laugh-cry and try to swipe my eyes, but my fingers shake.
Spent and happy, somehow I feel proud too, because I’d never done this before, never lost myself with such abandon that I swallowed everything.
Most of all, I never loved going down on any man so much.
With sudden unerring clarity, I know I’ll never go down on any other man again.
“My Fifi,” Trick murmurs, caressing my hair and my back and shoulders like I’m a fragile doll. “You’re so fucking amazing. And you’re all mine.” I whimper with ecstasy as if he’s opened the gate to paradise and yanked me inside.
“Are you alright?” He stops and lifts my chin to look into his face. “You gagged. I might have gotten carried away. Are you okay?” He examines me with his eyes as if he’s a doctor—a sex-doctor—or maybe just a damn sexy doctor.
I stare back, happy to soak in his caring and that tell-tale look of a man well-satisfied, the hooded eyes, the smooth brow, the relaxed set of his jaw. Except with Trick, there’s an added glow of heart-melting beauty that comes from me, from my eyes—the eyes of the beholder.
He squeezes my shoulders. “Say something.”
“I… loved sucking your cock. I think it’s me who might have gotten out of control.”
The vivid blue of his eyes darkens like pools deepening into infinity, going on forever, unreachable and yet transparent, giving me a glance inside at the same time.
He chuckles, and fine lines spread from the corners of those eyes, spreading my heart in my chest until I’m worried it will explode into a million pieces like a supernova.
He wraps me up in a cocoon-like hug. “I like when you’re out of control.”
I snuggle into him, content to stay like this all night. Then, as my leg twines with his, it hits me that he still has his clothes half on.
“Maybe you should undress. It might be nice to see your entire naked package.” I pull away, running a hand down his back underneath his shirt.
“What’s it worth to you?” He smirks. And there he is, transformed from the caring lover to the cocky Trick I know and—
I stop my thought right there before I even think the L-word, and I must look alarmed because his brows crunch together.
“What is it? I was just kidding—”
“I know. It’s okay. I need to wash up.” I ungracefully jump from the bed, too shaken to worry about what I look like. But I’m naked, and, as a wise fashion designer once said, there’s nothing more beautiful than the naked female body.
He whistles from behind me as I dash to the bathroom, confirming the theory about female nakedness and letting me know he’s no longer worried about my change of mood. How could he be worried about anything after being so thoroughly relaxed by way of a massive orgasm?
I shut the door behind me and take stock of myself in the mirror. It’s not my face I’m worried about, even though I do look flushed and disheveled. I decide it’s not a bad look and kind of sexy. But it’s the inner me I’m questioning.
Am I in love with Trick?
Shit. I don’t know the answer—or more accurately, I don’t want to know the answer. Not now. Not on this beautiful night when we’re so close to heaven.
Fully accepting the fact that I’ve turned into an emotional coward, I wash up and return to Trick in my bed, promising myself that I’ll look fully into the matter of the L-word in the morning.