Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Sarah kicked off her shoes as she came in the door.
“Go upstairs and grab your gear,” she said. “I want to make sure you have everything you need before we catch the ferry.”
“Okay, but are you sure Dash is going to be okay without me for the weekend?”
“Don’t worry. He’s with Dot and Sally, and he’s going to be fine. Now, bring me your backpack and change your clothes. You have clay all over your shorts.”
“Okay.” Riley trudged up the stairs, and Sarah’s heart clenched knowing she couldn’t protect her from the hurt Graham’s new relationship was causing Riley. Not long ago, her daughter would have been packed and ready to go, urging her to hurry, anxious not to be late.
Sarah followed her up the stairs and changed into comfortable jeans and a blue blouse with flowers scattered over it.
The store clerk, and a customer using the next fitting room beside her, had assured her she looked great in it.
And she wasn’t about to give Graham a reason to think she’d let herself go.
She had her pride.
Next, she perused her bookshelf to find her next read. On the ferry trip to Vancouver, Riley would occupy her time, but a new book would make the trip back more pleasant.
“Are you ready?” she asked, as she got to Riley’s door. “We’re going to be late if we don’t leave soon, and your dad will be waiting for you at the terminal.”
“Yeah, I’m coming.” Riley handed her the backpack.
Sarah opened it and examined the contents. “Good job. You remembered everything this time.”
“Yep, even my toothbrush,” said Riley, taking the pack and heading down the stairs.
“Don’t forget your jacket,” said Sarah.
“It’s so hot.” Riley’s chin jutted out as though she were ready to argue.
Sarah gave the girl the same stare she remembered her mother using whenever she started to disagree. “Take it, please. The weather may change.” She didn’t add that she did not want Graham to have something else to find fault with.
It was bad enough that he continued to have concerns about the cats.
“Oh, Mom.” Riley rolled her eyes, and Sarah raised her left eyebrow in response.
“Okay, okay,” said Riley, taking the jacket from the hook by the front door.
Sarah turned to glance at the empty house before locking the door. It would be lonely this weekend without Riley, and though part of her longed for the reprieve and solitude, another part was dreading it.
“Watch out for a parking spot,” she said half an hour later, as they pulled into the overnight parking lot at the terminal, cursing herself for not leaving earlier. It was harder to find parking in the summer, especially on weekends. She should have remembered that.
“There’s one,” said Riley, pointing to where a car was pulling away.
Sarah tapped her fingers on the steering wheel to keep herself calm. “Come on, come on,” she muttered under her breath, pulling into the spot as soon as it was vacated. “Now let’s go!”
She paid for parking, and they ran to the terminal. “Hurry! They’ll stop selling tickets soon.”
“I’ll go get in line,” said Riley, running ahead.
Sarah nodded, winded now from their quick sprint. “Really need to get back to the gym,” she muttered, before walking through the automatic door and joining Riley in line.
“Sorry, sales are closed,” said the woman, pointing to the clock when they got to the counter.
“Please,” said Sarah. “I’m taking her to see her father.”
“Pleeease,” said Riley, her face drawn in a frown. “I haven’t seen my daddy in weeks.” Sarah looked at Riley a moment and refrained from letting her mouth hang open.
“And I don’t want Mommy to get in trouble.”
Sarah turned toward the older woman behind the counter and away from Riley’s obvious crocodile tears. Riley never called her father Daddy.
The woman’s expression softened. “I’ve taken a few of those ferry rides to my ex myself,” she said. “And if I ever missed a ferry, there was hell to pay.” She turned to the till and rang up two tickets. Sarah tapped her credit card to pay.
“Thank you so much,” she said.
“Now go,” said the woman, “before any of that lot”—she nodded toward several people waiting a few meters away—“see that I just sold one to you and not them.”
“Thank you so much.” Sarah turned and rushed Riley toward the escalator and then onto the gangway.
“Where did you learn to do that?” she asked Riley, when they stepped onto the deck of the ferry.
“I have a friend who does that to get things from the teacher.”
“And ‘Daddy’?”
“Sally calls her dad Daddy. I wanted to see how it sounded.”
“Ah.”
“I don’t think it’s me,” she said. “And Dad would look at me weird if I called him that.”
Sarah smiled to herself, imagining Graham’s face. “Are you hungry?”
“No, and Dad will take me out to dinner when I get there.”
So they settled into seats at the front of the ferry and watched as the boat pulled away from the terminal.
Only then did she relax, realizing that she had been more than a little concerned she would have to phone and let Graham know they would be late.
She would have been blamed for obstructing his access, and a fight would have ensued.
She blew out a breath and turned toward Riley, who was looking out the window. “Do you think we’ll see whales today?”
“There were some sightings earlier this week, so maybe.”
“I’m going to watch,” said Riley, peering out at the passing water.
Sarah’s phone buzzed. It was Graham.
“Hi. We’re on the ferry, so we’ll see you in about an hour.”
“Damn.”
“Damn?” She frowned. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Tanis. She’s in emergency. I was hoping you could bring Riley next week instead.”
“Is she okay?” Sarah asked, though she really didn’t want to know the answer. The less she knew about Graham’s new wife, the better.
“They’re worried about the baby,” he said, his voice strained in a way that was familiar but rare. Graham never worried about much, which had been part of their problem. She was the one who was always left to take care of things, while he would say, “It’ll get done. I don’t know why you worry.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, her gaze straying to Riley, who was still watching out the window, hoping to see whale spouts in the distance. She lowered her voice. “Do you want to talk to your daughter?”
“Umm.”
Her chest tightened. He was planning to let Sarah deliver the bad news as usual, and for a split second she thought it might be easier that way.
Then she shook her head. No, it was his news.
He was her parent too. He needed to take responsibility for not calling them earlier.
Before he could say anything more, she added, “I’ll hand her the phone so you can talk.
” And, before he could say more, she held out her phone to Riley.
“Your Dad’s on the phone.”
Riley turned, smiling, and Sarah’s heart squeezed as she watched her sunny smile of anticipation fall to a frown.
Her eyes filled with tears as she said, “It’s okay, Dad.
I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.” She glanced up at Sarah and said, “Okay,” before handing her the phone. “Dad wants to talk to you.”
Sarah took the phone, “Hello?”
“Did you have to do that?” he said.
“What?”
“You know what.” His voice was short. Staccato.
“Put you in the position of having to take responsibility for your own actions, you mean?” she said, in as calm a voice as she could muster. “Yes, I guess I did.”
“Don’t fight,” said Riley, her eyes pleading. “It’s okay. Dad’s just worried about Tanis and the baby.”
Sarah nodded at Riley and said to Graham, “We’ll be heading back on the next ferry. Let me know when you’re able to come and see her next.”
“That’s not the deal,” he said. “You bring her to me, I pick her up on this side, and then I take her back.”
“Well, given what has just happened, I think it’s best that we do it the other way around next time. Sorry to hear about Tanis. I hope she’s okay.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I’ll be in touch when we know more. Then I’ll arrange another date to see Riley.”
“Make sure you do it soon,” said Sarah. “She’ll be worried.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Sorry I didn’t call in time.”
“As am I,” she said, pulling her daughter into a hug. “Take care.”
She hung up and let Riley cry into her shoulder for a moment, her eyes scanning the horizon for nonexistent whale spouts. Then she pulled her daughter away and looked into her eyes. “Hey, it’s not ideal, but let’s try to enjoy the ride.”
“I hate Tanis,” said Riley. “And I hate the baby.”
“I know you’re angry. It doesn’t feel good that your dad has…” She wanted to say a new family, but instead she said, “… new people in his life. It’s going to take time to adjust.”
“I just wish he would come home,” said Riley.
“He has a new home,” said Sarah. “And you and I are going to have to get used to it.”
“But…”
“It takes time, Riley, but we’ll get through this. We already have Grandma living with us most of the year, and things have been going okay.”
“It’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not fair,” she said, pulling her daughter closer again. “Some things in life just really aren’t fair.”
“Mom, are you going to get married again?”
She felt her daughter tense up, waiting for her response.
“I don’t know. I’m not looking for anyone right now, love,”
“But when I go to university, you’re going to be lonely.”
“You aren’t going for another six or seven years,” said Sarah, smiling at her daughter’s concern. “And by then I’ll be used to it.”
“But Mom…”
“Yeah?”
“Would you like another baby?”
“Another baby?” she considered that idea for a few moments before answering. “I don’t know. I know your dad always wanted just one baby.” Which was why his starting a new family had felt like such a betrayal.
“But now he’s having another one. What about you?”
“Well, I would first need a father for the baby, and… I’m not ready for that. You’re my priority.” She pulled Riley closer again, settling her chin on her head.
“What about Simon?”
“What about Simon?”
“He’s nice. And he likes cats. And he already has a daughter.”
Sarah chuckled. “And you would like a new sister?”
“Yes,” said Riley, nodding.
“Well, first, I don’t know him well enough.
” She searched her brain to come up with a second point.
She couldn’t say she wasn’t attracted to him, because that was a lie, and she didn’t want to ever lie to her daughter.
She also couldn’t say that she didn’t enjoy sharing meals with him.
He could cook. He liked kids and cats. He was creative.
He was employed, with a secure career that he cared about.
She didn’t have a second point, she realized. “And second, you are my priority right now.”
Riley pulled away and met her gaze. “But you like Simon?”
“He’s very nice, yes.”
“And he’s a good dad. Sally says so.”
“Yes, I suppose he is.”
“And—”
“And, now that you aren’t going out with dad for dinner, what do you think we should do? Eat on the ferry, or wait for a sailing and grab some dinner in Vancouver near the terminal? We could even see if we can find you a book at that little bookstore we went to a few months ago.”
“Mom,” said Riley, “I think you do like Simon, and Sally says he likes you.”
“Riley. You talked me into getting kittens, and Simon has been very nice about it all, but please don’t…”
“Don’t…?” Her daughter tilted her head and waited for her to continue.
“Don’t get involved in my relationships. I told you I’m not interested.”
“But Dad is married again.”
“Yes, he is.”
“And he’s not coming back. Sally and I have been talking about it.”
“No, he’s not. Now, tell me, what do you want to do about dinner?”
“So, what if you and Simon, you know… start dating?”
“We aren’t dating, Riley. We are just sharing cats.”
“But what if you start something and then it ends? Do we have to give the cats back? Would I still be able to play with Sally?”
“Riley, if I start dating, I promise I will be careful,” Sarah said quietly. “You and your relationship with Sally are important. I won’t gamble with that. And right now I’m not looking for a boyfriend.”
“But—”
“Riley. I am fine on my own. I have you. I have Grandma. I have my job. Don’t worry about it.”
“And Dash.”
“Yes, and Dash.”
“You aren’t going to make me send Dash back?”
“Not if he’s well taken care of.”
Riley hugged her again. “Thanks, Mom.”
Sarah hugged her back and played their conversation over in her mind. What had just happened?
Sarah had just committed to keeping the cat in exchange for Riley not talking anymore about her dating life. She had again been played. Sarah thought, not for the first time, that her daughter had a good career in negotiations or law if she wanted it.
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“If you ever did want to date—”
“I told you…”
“But if you ever did want to date… I hope you date Simon.”
“Thanks for the input,” laughed Sarah, “but again, I’m not ready to date anyone. So don’t worry. Now, about dinner.”
“Let’s go to Vancouver for dinner,” said Riley. “And can we go to the bookstore too?”
“You aren’t going to go on about Simon anymore?”
Riley took a few moments to answer. “Sally and I were just imagining one day, that’s all. That it might be nice to be sisters. But we weren’t serious.”
“Okay,” said Sarah, not quite believing her daughter. “You and Sally can still be best friends, and in the end, a lot of friends are closer than sisters.”
Riley nodded. “Yep, friends forever.”
The announcement to disembark came over the loudspeaker.
“We’re nearing the terminal,” said Sarah. “Let’s go have a girls’ dinner out.”
Riley stood and picked up her backpack.
“Where’s your coat?”
“I forgot it in the car,” said Riley, taking one last look out the window, presumably to try and see a whale.
“Oh, Riley, what am I going to do with you?” She took her daughter’s backpack and tossed it over her shoulder.
“I guess you’re just going to have to love me anyway,” said her daughter cheekily.
“I guess so,” said Sarah, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go.”