Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Across the room, near the bar where a local winery was pouring samples, Raven nursed a glass of sparkling water and watched the dancers and table of young women talking animatedly.
Wren and her friends. She was glad Wren had agreed to go out tonight.
She was beginning to look more like her old self.
But as Wren gravitated away from her again, she felt more and more lonely. On the outside looking in.
“So you made it after all,” said a voice near her elbow.
She turned to see Betty in her chair, wearing a long, royal-purple gown, her hair done up in soft curls.
“I didn’t know you were coming,” said Raven. She glanced around the room, wondering if Lance had come too, but she didn’t see him, which left her disappointed.
“I’m on the organizing committee,” said Betty, maneuvering her wheelchair close to the bar. “A glass of white wine, please,” she said to a volunteer pouring drinks. She turned back to Raven. “Are you here alone?”
“Yes and no,” said Raven. “I drove Wren and Daisy down and checked in with Roz about a cat I took to her earlier this week. I thought I would look in here for a bit. You?”
“I came by care transit, and I’m sitting with the committee members.” She nodded toward a table. “I saw Lance earlier. He asked about you.”
“Did he?” Raven asked, determined not to show how much this piece of information moved her.
“Don’t play coy with me. I’m too old for games.” Betty accepted her wine and fixed Raven with a sharp look. “Are you two going to sort yourselves out, or am I going to have to intervene?”
“There’s nothing to sort out. We’re just backing off. Slowing things down.”
“Mm-hm. And how’s that working for you?”
Raven thought about the past few weeks. She missed his quick laugh, his calm demeanor, his steadfastness—so much that she still reached for her telephone to share daily observations before remembering that Wren was her priority right now and she was the one who had insisted she needed space.
“It’s fine.”
“Liar.”
“Hey!” Raven protested, before she saw the softening of Betty’s gaze.
“You know, Raven, I’ve watched my nephew fall in love before, watched him get hurt before. I could tell his relationship with his ex-wife was a disaster waiting to happen.”
“Love?” She shook her head as though to dislodge the idea. “We’ve only been dating a few weeks.”
Betty sipped her wine. “He’s been different since you came along. Happier. More himself. I don’t know what spooked you, but I hope you’re not going to throw away what you two have just because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared. I’m being practical. Wren needs me, and I can’t be there for her and for Lance at the same time. She needs my full attention.”
“Does she? Are you sure that’s true?”
Raven opened her mouth to respond, then closed it, her gaze returning to where her daughter was sitting with friends, laughing, enjoying herself.
Was it true that Wren needed Raven’s full, undivided attention?
It had been true for many years, but Wren was no longer a child.
She had lived on her own, held down a job, paid rent.
And it wasn’t like Lance had ever given her an ultimatum or made her choose. All he’d asked was to get closer, to get to know her better. And what had she given him in return?
Distance. Rejection. She wouldn’t blame him if he rejected her in return.
“He’s here,” Betty said, nodding toward the far side of the room. “In case you were wondering.”
Raven scanned the room and found him quickly. He wore a casual jacket and his signature blue jeans—these ones a little dressier than normal. He was standing near a group of people, listening to the conversation, but a moment later he turned in her direction.
Their eyes met, and the space between them seemed to lessen. He smiled and set his glass on a nearby table.
“Go talk to him,” Betty said.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“How about ‘I’m sorry I pushed you away’ and ‘I’d like to try again’? That seems like a good start.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It’s exactly that simple. You’re the one making it complicated.” Betty patted her arm. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see someone I need to corner about a donation.”
Raven didn’t move, just continued to watch Lance.
“Go,” said Betty. “Life is too short to put things off.” She wheeled away, leaving Raven alone to ponder her next move. She knew the ball was in her court.
She had pushed him away. She would have to be the one to go to him.
On the dance floor, she spotted Sarah and Simon, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her waist. They were moving like they had danced together for years. Oblivious to those around them and looking completely happy.
That could be her and Lance. If she’d let it.
Go. Betty’s words echoed in her ear. Life is too short to put things off.
“Okay, okay,” she muttered. She set down her empty glass and made her way across the room.
Lance saw her coming and excused himself from his conversation, meeting her halfway.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
They stood there, the music and conversation buzzing around them, acting as though they were strangers again.
“You look nice,” he said finally.
“Thank you,” she said. “You look nice too.”
“I saw you speaking to Betty earlier.”
“She told me you were here. And reminded me that life is short.”
“She said the same thing to me yesterday. I got a real earful.”
Raven laughed. “She’s not very subtle, is she?”
“Never has been.” He stepped closer, lowering his voice. “Raven, I’ve been thinking…”
“Me too.” She took a breath. “I’m sorry. For pushing you away. For making you feel like you weren’t a priority.”
“It did hurt,” he said quietly. “Not because of Wren. Because you shut me out. I can handle complications, Raven. I can’t handle not being let in. “
“Wren did need me, but I’ve been using her as an excuse.” She looked up into his eyes.
“I’m still here. Excuse for what?”
“I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Afraid of you.”
He frowned. “I would never hurt you, you know.”
“I should rephrase that. I’m not afraid of you. But… I’m afraid of depending on a man again. Any man. It’s never really worked out for me before.”
“Well, I guess we’re even.” He said. “My ex-wife leaving me was hurtful, and it’s going to take me a while to completely trust another woman.
” He reached out and took her hand, and she squeezed his in return.
“But I’d like to try with you. I think we can figure this out together.
To not give up before we see where this can go. What do you say?”
“I don’t want to give up either. I miss you. But I need you to know that for now, and probably for the rest of my life, Wren will be a priority. She’s my daughter.”
“I know. I have daughters too, remember? I understand.”
“And the expansion project. I want us to be able to work together without it being complicated. If this doesn’t work out—”
“Then we’ll be adults about it.” He squeezed her hand again. “But I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Do you?”
“No,” she said. “I don’t.”
“So…?” He nodded toward the dance floor. “Want to try seeing a bit more of each other again? Maybe start with a dance?”
“I’m sorry I pushed you away.”
“I’m just glad to have you back.” He pulled her gently toward the dance floor and she followed, slipping easily into his arms as a slow rhumba began to play.
“I didn’t know you could dance,” she said, as they moved around the dance floor.
“I’m full of surprises,” he said, “and I think I like dancing with you.”
He twirled her around, and she laughed. “Yeah?”
“So far, it’s the only time you’ve let me lead,” he said into her ear, when he brought her close again.
She laughed out loud. “We’ll have to go dancing more often, then, to give you a chance.”
“Did you see Sarah and Simon?” he asked.
“I did,” she said, twisting around to face him again.
“Next year we may need to change the name of the initiative after all, to showcase your matchmaking abilities.”
“Right.” She laughed. “Pages, Paws, and Passion.”
“Does this mean you’re officially giving us another chance?”
She didn’t even have to consider the question. In the short time they had been dancing, her stress had dissipated like she had just returned home after a long trip. Betty was right. Life was too short to always be protecting herself, to always be hiding from relationships.
“Yes,” she said. “I am. But slow, remember. I’ll need you to be patient.”
“I can do that.”
The band shifted into a slower rhythm, and he gathered her into his arms.
“And you should know: I’m probably going to mess up again,” she said. “I’ll probably get scared again. Pull away.”
“Sounds like you’re describing one of your cats.”
“Well, I do spend a lot of time with them.”
“Then I’ll just have to be patient.” He pulled her close and kissed her on her forehead. “You’re worth waiting for. But I won’t chase you,” he added gently. “If you pull away, I’ll give you space. Just don’t mistake that for me not caring.”
She didn’t say anything, only squeezed him a little closer.
Later, they left the dance floor to get a drink and so he could catch her up on the bookstore and the steps he had taken regarding the expansion.
Sarah and Simon walked past them at eleven thirty, holding hands and barely noticing anyone around them.
“Yep, looks like the cat matchmaker definitely struck that couple,” Lance murmured in her ear.
“I had nothing to do with it. The cats did all the work.”
He just chuckled and pulled her closer.
As the night wound down and people drifted toward the exits, Raven walked over to collect Wren and introduce her to Lance.
“Hi,” said Wren, reaching out to shake his hand. Raven was pleased Wren was civil and still distracted by the group conversation.
“I’ll see you at the car?” she asked Wren.
“I’m staying in town tonight,” said Wren. “At Roz’s place.”
Raven nodded, feeling for the second time that evening like a spectator in her daughter’s life. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Jake will give us a ride tomorrow,” said Daisy, tilting her head toward a young man who had his arm around her.
“Good night, then.” She left, and Lance came along to walk her to her car.
“Can I call you tomorrow?” he asked.
“You’d better.”
“Dinner Wednesday,” he said softly. “No backing out. I’ll pick you up at six.”
“I’d like that.”
He bent toward her, and she was grateful Wren had stayed behind. She wouldn’t want her daughter to witness this kiss, because she was sure anyone who saw it would know just how much she felt for Lance.
Then, as he pulled her closer and deepened their kiss, all thoughts of Wren—or anything else—vanished.
When they finally stepped apart, it was with renewed determination. Whatever happened with their growing relationship, whatever complications arose, she was convinced they could work through them together.
They had to. He had come to mean so much.
“Good night, Raven,”
“Good night, Lance.”
She drove home through the quiet streets, past the familiar landmarks, and into the driveway. When she walked in, she patted her waiting tabby on the head.
“Well, Jackie,” she said, “my life might be complicated lately, but it’s full of some pretty great people.”
“Mroww.”
“Yes, and cats.” She laughed and stroked the cat a few more times before kicking off her shoes and going to her room to change.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said to Jackie as she exited the house to check on the center.
She walked past the cats, speaking to them in a low, comforting voice before heading over to feed the kittens.
She settled into a chair with one of the tiny kittens, its eyes now open and peeping up at her as she aimed the syringe of milk into its mouth and scrolled through memories of the evening: Wren enjoying herself, Lance dancing with her.
That sensual, toe-curling kiss.
Yes, life could be messy and complicated, but tonight it had been pretty close to perfect.
She adjusted the tiny kitten in her palm, watching it blink up at her, discovering the world for the first time.
“Easy does it,” she murmured. “One day at a time.”
The kitten opened its mouth, searching for the syringe again, and she chuckled as she gave him more.
In town, her daughter was visiting Roz tonight.
She was grateful for her friend, who had been like a second mother to Wren.
Of course, Raven wished she could be the recipient of Wren’s confidence.
But her daughter wasn’t a child anymore.
She just needed to find her footing again. One step at a time.
She thought about Lance. Was he reading one of his favorite books? Or planning the expansion? Or maybe just lying in bed, thinking about her? She would text him when she was done here.
She had missed texting him, missed having him in her life.
For so long she had thought loving a man meant losing control, but she had loved the wrong man.
It was different when the man was kind, patient, and steady.
She’d also learned that adding a man to her life didn’t mean she had to subtract someone else.
When she welcomed Lance, Wren, and others into her life, like Roz and Betty, her life expanded, lessening the pressure she had been feeling for years.
The kitten finished feeding and curled up in her palm.
“Yes,” she whispered, rising from her chair to get the next one. “One thing at a time.”
And, for the first time in a long time, Raven was not so afraid of what would come next.