Abby
My second dinner at the Santori house is progressing much more smoothly than the first. Without the awkward introductions, and without the scary older brother present, it’s been light-hearted and fun.
Well, I shouldn’t say without any introductions.
Ellie brought her fiancé, so I was finally able to meet the notorious Teddy.
He looks every bit of his hockey nickname, Cuddles, and I can see the general teddy-bear vibe.
Tall, broad, and hairy, he has a warm and welcoming aura that’s no doubt enhanced by Ellie’s presence.
He looks at her like she hung the moon. And holy attractive Batman.
More like Superman, actually. He totally gives off Clark Kent vibes, complete with the forehead curl and glasses.
With Gabri’s absence, everyone has shifted so that I’m seated next to Nikki again.
It’s obvious the Santori ladies are playing matchmaker, and I’m not stopping them.
This is my mission after all. Get in with the Santori family and wait for further instructions.
With a “date” already on the books for tonight, I think I’m doing just fine.
Another bike ride. Hopefully, I can keep from having a full-blown panic attack like I almost did last night.
This is different, though. No matter how attractive and charming Nikki is, the undeniable, visceral attraction just isn’t there.
Anything that happens between us tonight is transactional.
A job. What happened, or almost happened, last night was… real.
Nonna winks at her granddaughter before wrapping half the tray of treats up and passing them off to Nikki. “You two take these. You might need a sweet treat later, or some extra energy for the ride back.”
My date for the night rolls his eyes but takes the desserts before standing and helping me up. “Shall we?”
Smiling up at him, I take his hand. “Only because you’re being such a gentleman.”
I can remember a time when Conor was a gentleman as well.
During the early days of our relationship, he opened my doors, pushed in my seat, and brought me flowers and gifts.
He treated me like a princess. Only since I moved to Thunder Bay have I allowed myself to think back to those days, examining the memories closely for any sign of inauthenticity.
I was young and naive, I know. Still, I haven’t recalled a moment when his act faltered.
He was perfect at every turn, fooling not only me but also my mom.
Dad always hated him, but Mom and I chalked that up to the typical “nobody is good enough for my baby girl” feelings every father has.
I never got the chance to ask him what it was he hated so much about Conor.
God, I miss my dad. I should have trusted him.
I wonder what he would think of Misha.
“Here you go.” Nikki hands me a leather jacket and a pink helmet. “These are Ellie’s.”
I blink out of my reverie, putting my mask back in place with a smirk. “Sure they are. I bet you tell all the girls that.”
Nikki laughs as he helps fasten my helmet strap. “Ask her yourself. Believe it or not, I haven’t taken a woman out on my bike in years.”
He looks down at me with a lazy smile, but I’ve been lost in my own head enough to see that a painful memory exists behind his gaze. What’s someone done to you, Nikki? Maybe he’s just as messed up as I am.
Patting the top of my helmet, he holds out a hand. “Ladies first.”
This is only my second time getting on a motorcycle, so even though I had a little practice yesterday, I’m still awkward enough not to destroy the illusion that I’ve never ridden before.
I do have to stop myself from wrapping my hands around his waist like Misha taught me and instead wait patiently for his instruction before doing so.
Fuck me, what is with all these men and all this muscle?
Nikki’s build is similar to Misha’s, although he’s not as tall.
His abs are just as muscular, his clothes are just as soft, but somehow he feels different.
His body heat isn’t permeating through to my skin like Misha’s did, lighting me on fire all the way to my core.
His warmth is borne out of camaraderie, the same that I feel around his sister.
It’s still unusual to be so close to a man and feel nothing but comfort.
Where Misha’s heat is like I’m one degree away from irreversible immolation, Nikki is as if I’m wrapped up in a cozy blanket with a good book.
We ride in silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable.
I’m not dying to know every little thing about him like I was with Misha.
Sure, it’s partly because I already know a ton about him from the docket of information I was given, but also, the quiet between us feels like a mutually necessary reprieve.
A moment of peace for two individuals who barely know each other to be free from the weight of their reality.
When Nikki finally pulls over, the sun has set, but we’re far enough from the city so that the moon and stars illuminate the night sky.
Ten years ago, if I was driven out to the middle of nowhere by a known killer, I would be shaking with fear.
But now, hell, what’s the worst he can do?
If I’ve learned anything in the past decade, it’s that death is not the worst thing that can happen at the hands of a man.
I’ve also trained my intuition to decipher a good man from a bad one, I hope, and Nikki is undoubtedly the former. When he offers me his hand, I take it without hesitation. And as he guides me along a gravel path through dense, low trees, I relish the tranquility I’ve been gifted in Thunder Bay.
He leads me to a long-forgotten pier overlooking the mouth of a lake and helps me sit before plopping down, just far enough away so that we aren’t touching.
“Are you a big lake guy?” I ask, breaking the silence for the first time since we started our ride.
Nikki fiddles with a pebble and tosses it, sending it skipping several times across the water before it disappears. “No, not exactly. An old friend of mine was, though. We found this by accident, and it kinda became our place to hide away when life got tough.”
“Oh, do you still come here together or—”
“Nah.” He skips another rock. “Sh—they stopped coming years ago. I still come out here from time to time. It’s been my secret little hideaway.”
“I’m sorry. Is life rough for you right now?”
“Always, darling.” He takes my hand, enveloping it between his. “But I didn’t bring you here for me. I brought you here because I can see behind that pretty little perfectly crafted facade of yours.”
My breath hitches, but his reassuring squeeze of my hand is calming. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you tell me what’s bothering you. I can just tell that there’s something. And well, from one tortured soul to another, I thought you might like it here.”
Phew, that was close. “Oh, well thank you. That was very kin—”
“But…”
Dammit. “Yes?”
“You do have to tell me something about yourself. It’s the rule after all.” He lifts his hands in surrender. “And look, I don’t make the rules.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for your own lake rules.” I laugh, crossing my arms.
“I was afraid you would say that. There is another alternative.” Nikki sighs as he stands, slowly pulling me up with him before grabbing me around the waist with lightning speed. “It’s either something about you or you go in the lake.”
“Okay, okay! I’ll tell you something!” I breathe between laughs as he playfully holds me at the edge of the pier. “Just put me down!”
Luckily, he obliges, waiting patiently for my answer as we return to our previous positions.
“Hmm. Okay, well I grew up in Canada and—”
“I know the basic shit. You gave us all the rundown last week, remember? Plus, I had a guy look into your story. I gotta be careful about who my baby sis hangs out with.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is it. He’s found out the truth, and he brought me to this hidden lake to kill me. Nobody will ever find my body here, I’m sure of it. Oh well, I guess better here than in Canada.
I scoff. “You don’t trust me?”
“It’s not you. I don’t trust anyone. Your check came back clean, though.
” He pauses, staring into my eyes for what feels like an eternity.
“I’ve been around the block enough to know when someone has a secret.
You aren’t who you appear to be. But I also know when someone has a pure heart, and yours, cara amica, is as pure as they come. ”
“How can you tell?” My voice is barely a whisper as I sit deadly still, shivering from the sudden change in temperature around us.
“It’s my superpower.” Nikki smiles for the first time in minutes, rubbing my arms to warm me up. “If I thought for a split second that you were dangerous, you wouldn’t be here today. I would never risk the well-being of my family, especially my sister.”
“But why…how…If you suspect I’m…and I—”
“I can tell you need a friend, Abby. Remember? One tortured soul”—he covers his heart with his hand, then places it gently on my shoulder—“to another. But that brings me back to the game. Tell me something real, Abby Reid.”
Smiling, I place my hand on his and think. There are no sparks, no tingles. Just warmth as he smiles back at me.
Something real.
“I don’t believe in love. I mean…I used to. When I was a little girl, I obviously thought my Prince Charming would come find me and that we would live happily ever after and all that bullshit. But I learned my lesson the hard way.”
Nikki frowns and pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Don’t give up on love just yet.
It’s cliché as shit, but it’s true. Life without love isn’t a life worth living.
No matter how many times you get burned, you keep loving.
You’ll find someone one day whose fire doesn’t burn you but adds to your own flame.
It’s always worth it to take a chance on love, even if it destroys you or doesn’t last forever. ”
Ha…destroys isn’t a strong enough word. If only heartbreak were my only consequence for falling in love.
“What about you?”
“Huh?”
“Tell me something about you. Something real. Your rules, not mine.”
Nikki chuckles at me before staring out at the water and skips two rocks. “I’ve lost one brother already, and I’m afraid I’m losing another. I just don’t know if I’ll have it in me to stop him before he destroys everything else I hold dear.”
“You’ll do the right thing, I know it.” I place my hand beside his on the pier and he rubs his pinky against mine.
“So who was your favorite princess? Let me guess, Ariel?”
“What, just because I have red hair, I have to like The Little Mermaid?”
“Well?”
“It’s Princess Fiona…from Shrek—”
Nikki chokes on nothing at my answer. “That’s the second time in a week someone’s brought up Princess Fiona!”
“Jeez, how many girls have you been asking this question to?”
“Believe it or not, it was a buddy of mine. A male buddy.”
“Sure.” I roll my eyes dramatically, but I couldn’t care either way. In fact, everything inside me hopes this beautiful and kind man finds someone to love him like he deserves.
There’s nothing even slightly romantic between Nikki and I, but as we sit in the dark sharing more lighthearted stories from our youth, I realize there is something. A true friend. Maybe it’s the magic of the lake but the relationship blossoming tonight isn’t borne of false seduction, it’s real.
His truth from earlier runs through my mind.
“...I just don’t know if I’ll have it in me to stop him before he destroys everything else I hold dear.”
Would I do the right thing? Will I do the right thing? The only two people I loved before moving here were my parents, but with every friend I make in Thunder Bay, that number grows. I hold Ellie dear, and now Nikki. And then there’s Misha, who could be in a category of his own.
If there was a way to save my parents from Conor’s wrath, should I betray him? Maybe if I asked the Santoris for help…
Will I have it in me to do the right thing?