Abby
Waking up alone in a random bed isn’t new to me, but one with two trays full of breakfast is a first. It only took a few moments to remember where I was.
In Misha’s bed. I didn’t start out here, though.
The last thing I remember was watching reality TV on his couch.
He’s gotten me hooked on his guilty pleasure watches, and I must have fallen asleep and been transferred at some point.
A ping of regret that I’m not in his sheets because he fucked me to the point of exhaustion shoots through me, but after how wonderfully he treated me, I’m sure I’ll have that chance again.
That is, if he isn’t completely spooked.
I mean, he’s gone, after all. My disappointment is short-lived when a glance at the clock confirms it’s still barely morning.
That, along with the note I spy, eases any lingering concern.
Lesnaya,
I’m so sorry I won’t be here when you wake up.
I waited until the absolute last minute to leave, but I have some important business to attend to.
I hoped I would get to say goodbye before I left, but you were sleeping so beautifully that I couldn’t bear to wake you.
I’ll be gone for the night but back in time for our skate practice tomorrow.
Please feel free to stay and make yourself at home.
You’ll be living in my head until I can see you again.
Yours,
Misha
P.S. I didn’t know what you’d be in the mood for, so I just made you everything. And don’t say a cup of coffee would be fine. You need more fuel than that in the morning.
P.S.S. I already called the library and let them know you’re not feeling well. Enjoy your day off, beautiful.
Wow, yesterday was…wow.
Not only did Misha hold me and calm me down from my panic attack, but he held me all afternoon while we watched TV.
He never once tried to do anything physical.
His words, his touch, even his gaze never went beyond friendly.
It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.
He gave with no expectation of a return, putting my emotional needs before all else, even at the height of his desire.
No other man I’ve known would ever have done that.
I don’t even know where my panic attack came from.
Yes, I’m drugged more often than not, but even sober, I don’t freak out anymore when Conor or his friends take from me.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been numb to it all, but with Misha, I feel.
I feel everything I shouldn’t: lust, desire, happiness, joy.
I care for him. More than anyone should ever care about someone they’ve only known for a few weeks.
And after yesterday, I feel less foolish for thinking that his feelings might run even deeper than my own.
Grinning, I pull one of the trays of food toward me and immediately go for the beautiful stack of pancakes.
I would normally bypass anything too carby and eat lean protein, but I’m glad I don’t because fuck, these are incredible.
I haven’t had a pancake in years, but I know these are as good as they come. Okay, Misha, I see your game.
If the orgasms he gave me yesterday and the way he treated me tenderly weren’t enough, this breakfast seals the deal.
The last of my reservations resolves as I recount everything he’s done to make me feel comfortable and cherished.
There may be hell to pay for this later, but for now, all my problems are thousands of miles away, and exploring Misha has become my primary mission here in Thunder Bay.
“Holy shit, look at you!” Ellie’s praise is perhaps a little too genuine, with eyes wider than I’ve seen before.
After deciding that Misha was my sole purpose in Thunder Bay, I texted Ellie to see if she wanted to go shopping, and she immediately responded with an all-caps affirmative.
I have a decent wardrobe but nothing spectacular.
It’s all things Conor chose that don’t fit my natural complexion or hair at all.
Not to mention, his style has always been a bit garish.
“Wow, I didn’t realize I looked so bad before,” I say, half joking, as I get my first look in the mirror.
Okay, I might understand her reaction. Damn.
I do look insane in this dress. It’s in my favorite color, emerald green.
Mom always said it was her favorite color because it was the color of my eyes, and of course I copied everything she liked when I was a kid.
Conor never dressed me in green. With the fake blonde hair and fake tan, it wasn’t the most flattering.
He would go for red, black, or blue sometimes, but never green.
“I think you’re absolutely beautiful, and I mean that with all my heart.
But this dress is beyond. Every woman should have a wow dress.
I have one that Nonna picked out for me.
It’s what I wore on my first date with Teddy and well…
” She pauses and places a hand on her baby bump as a blush spreads across her cheeks. “It worked.”
“Wait…You got pregnant on the first date?” Somehow, I thought this happened later in their relationship. “Hey, you go, girl!”
“Oh no! Not that I have any issue with getting some on a first date, but I would be way more careful than that. I have enough common sense to use a condom the first time—” Ellie’s blush spreads to her entire face as her demeanor changes. “I mean, accidents happen…I guess.”
“Mm-hmm, sure you would.” I try to hide my reaction, but I can’t help smirk at my salacious friend.
I’m no better than she is. I’ve replayed yesterday with Misha over and over in my mind, and every time I fantasize about how he would feel stretching me open, he’s not wearing a condom either.
Conor and his friends always wear one, even though I have an IUD.
He really doesn’t want me to get pregnant.
I’ve thanked whatever gods exist for that small grace.
But with Misha, well, we need to have the talk he mentioned because I do want to feel him.
I want to feel every inch of him against me, the cool metal of his piercing, his cum painting my walls…
“Abby?” Ellie’s snapping brings me out of my lustful reverie.
Fuck. “Huh?”
“I asked who the guy was!” she says with a laugh.
“Oh um, I don’t know if I should say…”
“Oop! Say no more.” Her eyes light up as she takes my hand and spins me around. “Oh, I know. How would you like to come to dinner with me tonight? You can wear the dress.”
I’d never turn down a chance to spend time with Ellie, but I’m not sure why I would need to wear this dress. And I doubt she would be trying to set me up with anybody when I’ve just told her I like someone else. ”Um, sure, I guess.”
“Fantastic!” She claps. “Now let’s keep shopping. You’re going to need several more dresses, I assume. And some casual options as well. Honestly, there’s no telling what you might get yourself into—”
“What do you mean by what I’ll get myself into? What do you think—”
“So let’s just cover all the bases. And shoes and of course lingerie!”
“Oh, I don’t need any lingerie—”
“I’ll have to get the reservation pushed back until nine tonight. They won’t love that—”
“They? Who are they?”
“But they’ll just have to get over it.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry…I have everything under control.”
Ellie gave me no choice but to wear the “Nonna dress” as she calls it, complete with the Nonna stamp of approval via video call.
We shopped for hours, then went to a salon she rented out to get our hair and makeup touched up.
I’ve done my makeup like I used to back in Canada, but with my natural skin tone, it feels different.
I haven’t seen this made-up version of myself in so long.
“You look stunning. Truly.” Ellie takes my hand, making eye contact through the restaurant window I’ve been staring into.
“Thanks. You do too, you know.”
And she does. Ellie is the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, and she’s even more beautiful inside than out. Even when she’s obviously up to something.
“Will you please tell me who we’re meeting?” I ask, for the hundredth time.
Ellie waits for the chauffeur to open the door and pulls me into the restaurant. “Just some family. There they are!”
I spot her fiancé right away as he waves frantically toward us with a dopey grin on his face. Next to him is Nikki, looking about as excited to be here as I am. With Teddy’s attention locked on Ellie, I look at her brother, who gives me a half grin and a nod.
Since our night at the lake, Nikki and I have texted back and forth a bit, but our relationship has remained platonic.
He’s as pleasant to be around as his sister but offers a different kind of peace.
Ellie brings immense joy wherever she goes, but her brother and I relate on a level of suffering that I hope with all my heart she’s never experienced before.
A Mafia princess she might be, but the worst evils of this world seem to have been hidden from her.
Misha, on the other hand, offers what both Santoris do, with the addition of a quiet strength that must have been forged in the fire of his childhood.
Nikki greets me with a side hug and a kiss on the cheek while Ellie and Teddy practically make out.
“Jesus Christ,” Nikki grumbles under his breath before shoving his soon-to-be brother-in-law. “Can you two go get a room or some shit?”
Ellie giggles as she greets her brother, then cuts her eyes to me, then back to Teddy.
“Actually…Oh hi, Abby.” Teddy gives me an awkward handshake. “I, uh…think a room is just what we should do. Um…gotta go!”
Teddy pulls Ellie away before either her brother or I can protest, and I’m left awkwardly standing.
But not for long. Nikki, gentleman that he is, wastes no time pulling my chair out.
I can tell this isn’t his first rodeo as he helps me into my seat and pushes me closer to the table with ease before taking his place across from me.
It’s quiet for too long, both of us realizing what’s happened here tonight.
Our dearest Ellie set us up on a date. I know she had pure intentions.
She just wants the best for her brother, and I should and do consider it a compliment that she would deem me worthy of him.
Plus, we did go on a date a few nights ago, and to her knowledge, that’s who this dress was for in the first place.
“Um, hi…” I say, my voice barely a whisper.
Nikk runs his hand across his brow with a sigh, then looks at me. “Abby…I know that the other night was pretty intense, and I really do enjoy your company, but I just want to be completely transparent with you. I’m not interested in anything romantic—”
As if I wasn’t mortified enough, I squeak.
“It’s not you, cara amica.” He takes my hand, and the guilt in his eyes is too much. “I think you’re incredible, really, but I’m…I’m in love with someone else.”
God, he’s being so kind. I try my best not to laugh, but a giggle escapes me. “I really appreciate that, Nikki, and I think you’re incredible too! But I had no hand in this.”
His guilt melts to confusion, then determination as we stare at each other, hands still locked. “But, you’re dressed…and you look…and Ellie…”
“I told your sister that there was a guy I liked, and it seems she assumed it was you. But for the record, I know your heart belongs to someone else…and I think mine is starting to as well.”
At my confession, Nikki’s face lights up. “That’s fantastic! I knew you would find someone. Tell me about him.”
What can I even say about Misha? Words don’t do him justice. “Well, he’s kind, and funny, and holy shit, out of this world attractive. He’s dangerous, and it should scare me away, but deep down I know without a shadow of a doubt that he would never hurt me.”
“Dangerous?” Nikki sizes me up, squinting his eyes. “He’s not going to come after me for having dinner with his lady, is he?”
“No,” I chuckle. “You’re safe. And even if he did, I would vouch for you.”
“Good, because I’d be pissed as hell if I found out my girl was out with another man looking like you do.” He pulls the hand he’s still holding to his lips and kisses it before finally letting it go. “You do look beautiful tonight, by the way.”
“Thank you.” I blush, placing my hand in my lap. “But no, we aren’t even official or exclusive or whatever they call it yet.”
“A title doesn’t mean shit. I’ll let you in on a little secret, dear. If a man views you as his, you’re his.”
I nod, unable to speak as the intensity of his gaze increases. Fire blazes in his eyes, and even though I know it’s not for me, it’s terrifying.
With a deep breath, he relaxes his posture, sinking back in his chair. “As long as you’re safe and happy.”
Closing my eyes, I summon Misha, his image as clear as day. He smiles down at me, and I feel myself grinning back at him. “I’m as safe and happy as I’ve ever been in my life.”
“I believe you. Sometimes—very rarely, but sometimes—it’s the most dangerous men who make the best lovers because they would move heaven and earth to keep their woman safe. But if you ever find yourself in danger, do not hesitate to call me. I’ll be there in the blink of an eye, cara amica.”
“Thanks, Nikki…I believe you too.”
I contemplate his words as I flip through memories of my Misha, and I know they’re true.
When I finally open my eyes, Nikki is smiling back at me.
Another dangerous man who I know would move mountains to help me.
Realization hits me like a train: that between Misha and Nikki, I stand a chance of getting away from Conor once and for all.
It’s my only hope for a future at this point.
Because I know I would never turn my back on either of them.