4 | Simone #2
It was a thought I’d been mulling over in my mind for the past few weeks.
There was anything in particular that turned me off from my current church, but the desire for more was becoming hard to ignore.
I craved a deeper teaching, stronger discipleship, and more opportunities to connect with people my age.
“Simone, hand me my sweater. I’m a little chilly.”
I’d just handed her the sweater when I heard someone say my name.
“Simone?”
I turned around and smiled in surprise.
“Ryan?”
Ryan Westbrook.
I hadn’t seen him since we were in high school. He attended the church with his family for a while before he went off to college. He’d grown up very nicely. Taller now, with a charming smile and an easy, familiar confidence.
“Wow, look at you,” he said, giving me a half hug that church people give when they are trying to be respectful.
“I almost didn’t believe it was you.”
GiGi eyed him up and down with a knowing smirk but went back to talking to her friends. Just nosey.
He told me he was visiting his family in town for Thanksgiving. We made small talk then before I knew it, he asked, “Would you want to catch up tonight? Maybe go to dinner?”
I hesitated. Not because I didn’t want to, Ryan was smart, easy on the eyes, and had always been kind. I’ve known him for years.
But a part of me was still waiting for a text that wasn’t coming. He must’ve seen the hesitation because he added, “No pressure. If you’re busy it’s cool.”
“I’d love to,” I rushed before I could talk myself out of it.
That night I was dressed comfy but cute in a pair of very flattering black faux leather pants with a black silk shirt that had a crisscross tie detail. I finished off the look with some black sling back heels.
“You look nice,” he complimented me as I stepped out of the car handing the valet my key.
Declining his offer to pick me up was my way of setting a boundary so I wouldn’t get too close too soon like I had done with Samaj.
Dinner was at a nice Italian Restaurant with soft music and good food.
Ryan didn’t make me laugh or make my heart skip a beat.
I didn’t catch myself flirting or imagining our future, but he was nice, respectful in a boy-next-door kind of way.
So, I enjoyed my night with him and for the first time in days, I had finally stopped checking my phone.
But then—it buzzed. I didn’t even have to look to know. My heart reacted before my mind did. And when I finally glanced down, I saw it:
Samaj: I’m sorry for the late response. Things got a little crazy here. Thank you for checking on me. I really appreciate it. I’m back home now and would love to see you.
My breath caught in my throat. Two days. Two days of nothing, and now? Suddenly he remembered me?
Ryan was talking about something, his job maybe but I didn’t hear a word he said. All I could think about was that text. That familiar little pull in my chest. I caught myself wanting to wrap this date up, so I could drive back to his place like some loyal little puppy. But no. Absolutely not.
He went two whole days without responding to me. He’s going to have to wait.
Ryan deserved better and so did I.
So, I slid my phone back into my purse, sat up straight, and gave Ryan my full attention.
We ended the night with a hug, nothing more. He asked if I wanted to hang out again since he’d be in town until the New Years, working remotely, and I told him I’d let him know.
But the moment I got into my car, I finally read the message again, slower this time.
I’m back home now. I would love to see you.
I’m not going to lie, I wanted so badly to respond to him but as soon as I got home having decided I would guard my heart and keep my distance I powered my phone off and got ready for bed.
Walking into class the next day, my stomach twisted so tightly I thought I might pass out. Samaj was already there.
He looked tired, his eyes slightly red, jaw tense, wearing a white T-shirt, a fitted cap, blue jeans, and a fresh pair of Jordans. But when his gaze lifted and locked onto mine across the room. My heart stumbled.
His expression softened subtly, slow, but evident. Almost like he was happy to see me.
I froze in the doorway. Not upset—just unsure. Was his disappearance a red or yellow flag? Should I give him a chance to explain or just end things?
I was stuck in my head, overthinking per usual, until someone behind me brushed past me to get into the classroom.
“She standing there like she invisible or something.” The girl said loudly enough for me to hear. I rolled my eyes. “You could’ve just said excuse me.”
She sucked her teeth but continued walking to her seat.
I let it go. I wasn’t a fighter. But if I told Emaree, she’d be here in two seconds ready to beat the girl up, no questions asked.
Sitting through Dr. Allen’s lecture felt like torture.
Every time I looked up across the room Samaj was staring at me.
I didn’t know what to feel, what he wanted, or what I wanted but I did know one thing: Seeing him again stole the breath right from my lungs.
And for a moment, everything I told myself about keeping my distance… felt impossible.
By the end of class, my brain was exhausted from everything we’d covered.
“So, are ya’ll ready for this exam on Friday?” My classmate and friend Bri asked, falling into step beside me.
“Ready is a strong word,” Felicia said. “I’m more like praying for a miracle.”
“Why don’t we just study together? Share notes, quiz each other—something,” I suggested.
“I’m down. Friday is coming fast.” Bri replied. “We could meet up tonight or tomorrow after class.”
“Perfect. I’ll create a group chat.” Felicia pulled out her phone.
Just then Samaj walked up. Not smoothly. Not gently. Not like the thoughtful and kind Samaj I had the pleasure of getting to know last week. No, this was the closed off and grumpy Samaj that everyone else was accustomed to.
“I need to talk to you real quick.” His tone wasn’t loud but carried enough edge to it to make Bri and Felicia exchange looks.
“Yeah, we were just—”
“It’s Ok Simone, go ahead I’ll see you later in our Crisis Intervention class. We can just talk more then.” Both ladies walked away, leaving Samaj and I alone.
Before I could say anything else he began speaking.
“I texted you last night.” He was clearly irritated. “You didn’t respond.”
“OK…well, you went a couple of days without speaking to me, so what’s one more night?” I huffed.
“So, we playing tit for tat?”
“I don’t have time for this. I need to get to my next class,” I said, stepping around him, but instead of allowing me to walk off he fell in line with me.
“Come on. I’ll walk with you.”
We took a few steps before he continued.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to reach out to you sooner, but a lot was going on, and I didn’t think it was fair to put my problems on you.
” For a split second, something flickered across his face, pain maybe.
Or exhaustion. But he shook it off so fast I wondered if I imagined it.
“It wasn’t fair to leave me on read. I would’ve been there for you like I said, but you didn’t give me the chance.”
He nodded. “You’re right. I’m just used to dealing with things on my own.”
“How’s your mom?” I asked.
“She’s fine,” he said all too quickly.
I frowned slightly. The deflection bothered me, but it was clear this wasn’t a topic he wanted to discuss and because I didn’t want to upset him, I decided not to push the issue.
We hadn’t even made it halfway across the quad when a loud voice cut through the air.
“Aye, let me guess, is this ‘Ms. Got Samaj in a chokehold’ Simone?” I couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out of me.
Samaj shot him a look “Man don’t start,” Samaj said, swatting him away like a fly but that only seemed to encourage him.
“Oh, I’m definitely starting,” he said, laughing. “Because I ain’t never seen you so pressed about a girl. You should’ve seen this man last night.” His friend grinned. I couldn’t help it, I laughed again. Samaj shot me a look, half annoyed, half embarrassed, which made it even funnier.
His friend turned his attention to me, eyes lighting up like we were already cool.
“I’m Kadeem,” he said, sticking his hand out. “Best friend, Emotional Support. Occasional problem starter.” I shook his hand, still smiling.
“Simone. Nice to meet you.” He nodded his head. “Oh, I know who you are. He doesn’t talk much as I’m sure you’re already aware, but he’s mentioned you a few times and—
Samaj cut him off before he could finish.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
I looked between them amused. Kadeem was the opposite of Samaj in every way.
Slightly shorter, stockier build, deeper brown complexion that was glowing in the sun, with a presence that seemed larger than life.
Where Samaj was quiet and reserved, Kadeem was loud, animated, and clearly enjoyed getting a rise out of him.
And the thing was…Samaj let him. Watching them, I realized that for all of Samaj’s guarded nature, this was someone who knew how to pull him out of himself.
Someone who saw him, even when he tried to stay hidden.
The back and forth, the jabs and shade thrown at each other may have seemed harsh on the surface, but I could tell it was all love.
Samaj rolled his eyes, but I caught the hint of a smile he tried to hide, and for some reason that made my heart soften.
“Hold on,” Kadeem said as his attention quickly shifted to a young woman walking towards us.
You’d think she was walking down a runway instead of a college campus.
Not a hair out of place and her makeup was flawless.
I couldn’t blame him for getting distracted.
She was stunning in a Kelly Rowland type of way.
“Girl when you gon stop playing and let me take you out?” Kadeem flashed a smile that had probably got him in and out of trouble a hundred times.
She crossed her arms, unimpressed but clearly entertained. “Do you even remember my name?”
I just knew this wasn’t going to end well. He hesitated for a bit.