20 | Simone
“You think this is too much cleavage?” Emaree asked, stepping out of the dressing room in a blush-pink sequin dress that hugged every one of her curves.
“It’s graduation, not prom,” I teased, forcing a smile. “But you look good. Body is tea.”
We spent the next hour going from store to store, laughing, trying on shoes, holding dresses up to the light and enjoyed our quality time together while trying to put together our outfits for graduation.
Having Emaree by my side to navigate our college journey together made it even more special.
I was flipping through a rack of cocktail dresses when I heard Emaree whisper,
“Oh, hell no…”
I didn’t even have time to ask before she was marching over, phone in hand, eyes wide with disbelief.
“Simone…”
“What?” I asked, my heart already inching toward my throat.
She turned her screen to me and everything stopped
“Who is that?” I asked, looking at a picture of some girl and Samaj at what appeared to be a date.
She looked nothing like me. She looked like she could be on someone’s runway.
Tall but curvy, perfect makeup and her hair was laid like she had just left the salon.
She was smiling wide, showing perfectly white teeth.
Samaj is in the background getting ready to swing at a golf ball.
He’s focused on the task in front of him, but he appears relaxed and he’s also sporting a smile.
And her caption?
“When he upgrades, he upgrades for real. To the one who couldn’t keep him… thanks, girl.”
My stomach dropped. “I—” My throat closed. “It doesn’t even matter who she is.” I snapped myself out of it.
“Like hell it doesn’t. She’s over here throwing shots at you. Who does she think she is? I’m calling Kadeem.”
I grabbed her wrist. “E, don’t—”
She was already hitting his name.
“Do not drag that man into this! He’s probably busy.” I said louder than I intended.
“Girl please,” she said, shrugging. “Busy or not one thing about Kadeem? If I call… he’s answering every time.”
The phone rang once. “What’s up, Heartbreaker?”
I rolled my eyes. He always had a new nickname for her. Heartbreaker, Gorgeous, Babygirl and every time she pretended it annoyed her, but I knew my cousin and she loved that mess.
“Yes or no,” Emaree said immediately, “is Samaj dating this girl who posted him on Instagram because if he is, he needs to put her in check before I do.”
I held my breath. Kadeem wasn’t a liar so he would tell the truth even if it wasn’t nice, even if his loyalty was to Samaj because I’m convinced Kadeem didn’t know how to lie.
My stomach twisted, bracing for whatever he was going to reveal.
His voice came steadily. “Whatever Samaj got going on ain’t my business.”
“Wrong answer.” Em shot back. “You covering for him or something?” Silence.
“You must be with Simone.” He surmised.
I exhaled. “Hey, Kadeem. You can ignore Emaree. I honestly don’t care what Samaj has going on.” I almost choked on the lie. Another beat of silence. Then his voice softened just a little.
“Listen, I gotta handle something but don’t believe everything you see on the internet, Simone. And Gorgeous,” he addressed E, “I know you doing your thing right now, but make sure that lame you playin’ with keeps his hands to himself.”
She sucked her teeth. “Boy, I’m grown. Bye!” She hung up, exhaling hard.
We finished our shopping well, she did. I barely remembered trying anything on.
My mind was too focused on that stupid Instagram post; I knew he’d eventually move on, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.
Kadeem said not to believe everything I saw on the internet but how could I deny what was right in front of me?
When we got into the car, I tried to pretend the weight on my chest wasn’t suffocating. But I lasted all of two minutes before opening Instagram.
“What are you doing?” E groaned.
I ignored her and typed in: Prettyyy_v_xoxo
Her page popped up, and I started going down the rabbit hole. She was pretty. Objectively pretty.
I went through her posts slowly. Too slowly. There was one other picture that could have been from the same date although Samaj wasn’t in it, but she looked happy and I had to conclude that the date went well, and he was the reason behind that smile.
My chest tightened.
I clicked the tagged photos.
I searched for likes.
I scrolled harder.
Trying to find any indication that he was co-signing her display of affection even though I knew he was never active on social media.
“Simone!”Emaree snatched the phone so fast I didn’t even see her hand move.
“Stop before you drive yourself crazy.”
“I know,” I whispered, rubbing my forehead. “It’s just… I feel like I need to know if he’s really moving on.”
“He’s being a typical man who doesn’t want to deal with his real issues,” she said, tossing my phone into my lap.
“He’s hurting. You’re hurting. And I bet he’s using this girl as a distraction.”
“But how do you know that? How do you know if he’s really moved on?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I don’t believe what ya’ll had was not just some fly by fling. I don’t think it’s something you could just throw away like that.”
I tried to let that soak in.
“She’s cute,” Emaree admitted. “Real cute. But let’s keep it one hundred. Samaj ain’t over you. Just because he’s giving her a little time and attention doesn’t mean anything.”
I stared out the passenger window, fighting the ache in my chest.
“Kadeem talks in jokes,” she continued, softer now.
“But he doesn’t lie. When he said not to trust everything you see online?
That was his way of telling you that girl is trying to make it look like she stole your spot…
” she looked at me as we pulled up to the red light “…but in reality… she’s just keeping it warm. ”