Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Christmas break was over, and Jessica was back in Covington.
She’d spent the holidays at home in Oklahoma with her family, and she’d loved every minute of it.
They’d picked out a Christmas tree, made eggnog and hot apple cider, and they’d even sung Christmas carols in her neighbourhood on Christmas Eve.
It’d been a particularly cold Christmas, but with no snow.
Still, Jessica had forgotten all about her problems back in Georgia for a brief time and had revelled in the time she had with her family.
She hadn’t heard from Tyler that whole time, which was a little surprising.
But perhaps she shouldn’t be concerned about it since she had actually broken up with him.
It hadn’t felt much like a breakup, though.
He’d taken it well, and his response was completely different from how Hilton behaved when she first tried to let him down gently.
In fact, now that she thought about it, it was kind of a green flag that Tyler hadn’t called her, tried to FaceTime her, message her, or initiate any other form of communication.
He hadn’t even liked her Instagram posts with photos of her family trip or sent her a Snap.
It was healthy. She’d put up a boundary, and he was respecting it.
She had to admit that she liked that about him, and it made her miss him even more than she did already.
The Uber ride back to her house in Georgia was beginning to feel familiar. Georgia was more like home now, and she actually felt a tinge of happiness when the car turned into her street and she spotted her house.
Teja had kept Moon for her over the holidays.
She couldn’t wait to see the kitten’s cute little face again, her blue eyes and silver-coloured fur, the way she purred so loudly while Jessica stroked her side on the couch.
She smiled as she thanked the Uber driver and hurried into the house.
It was cold, but not so frigid as it had been back in Oklahoma.
The sun was bright, and she could already feel that her overcoat was too much.
After she’d stowed her suitcase in her bedroom, she hurried next door. She waited impatiently for Teja to answer the door, then embraced her friend, who handed her the kitten.
“Oh, thank you so much. I knew Moon would be fine with you, but I definitely missed her.”
“She’s a sweetheart. It was no trouble at all, although I do have a few scratches on my fingers from when she decided to play rough with me.”
“She does that,” Jessica replied with an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’ve got them all bandaged up. How was your Christmas? Come in and tell me all about it.”
Teja fixed them each a cup of hot cocoa while Jessica filled her in on the details of her family Christmas.
“It was a nice holiday. Honestly, I’m glad to be home, though.”
“I’m surprised to hear you say that,” Teja replied with a laugh.
“So am I.” Jessica sipped her cocoa. “And how about you? What did you do while I was gone?”
“We had lunch at my parents, and then Christmas Eve was with Robbie’s family. His brothers have so many kids now, it’s bedlam. But we enjoyed it.”
“That sounds nice. We don’t have any little kids in our family yet. But one of my sisters has a serious boyfriend, so I think they’ll probably get married before too much longer. I’m dying to have nieces and nephews. I’m going to be the cool auntie.”
“I’m sure you will be. And what about Tyler? What did he do for the holidays?”
Jessica hesitated, forcing a smile. “Um… I don’t know, actually.”
Teja’s brow furrowed. “What? What do you mean?”
“We broke up.”
“Oh, no!” Teja reached over to place her hand on top of Jessica’s. “I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard right before the holidays.”
“No, it’s fine. I ended things. I wasn’t ready for something serious, and he seemed to want to take things in that direction. After everything that happened with my ex…”
“I can understand that. It was a lot for you to deal with.”
“Tyler was really understanding, too. He wasn’t upset about it, and he hasn’t bothered me at all since then.”
“No calls? No texts? Nothing?”
“Nope. Not a single thing.”
“Wow.” Teja nodded slowly. “He’s a good guy.”
“I know he is. I really like him. It’s just hard to trust my own judgment right now. I thought Hilton was a good guy too. How do you know? How can you tell who you should trust?”
Teja tipped her head to one side. “Oh, bless your heart. You poor thing. You’re dealing with so much.
But I’m a pretty good judge of character, and I think Tyler seems like a real catch.
He’s a good guy and comes from a nice family.
I’ve known of their family for years — don’t know them personally, but I’ve heard about them from time to time.
And I’ve never heard one bad thing about them.
His mother runs a café in town and is as nice as can be.
Seems like they’re quality people to me. ”
“That’s what I thought too… but this stuff with Hilton has me really questioning everything.”
“You know, Tyler’s never going to be perfect.
I love my husband, but he’s far from perfect.
We fight pretty regularly. There are a lot of things about him that drive me crazy, and I sure drive him crazy too.
But he’s a good man. Obviously you have to avoid men like your ex, but you can’t expect anyone to meet an impossible standard of perfection.
He’s going to have flaws, and if you love him, you’ll just have to accept those. ”
“You’re right. I know you are. I have to figure this thing out. I feel like everything in my life is out of control at the moment. I’m in over my head at work, I’m living away from my loved ones, I can’t trust my judgment about men—I don’t know what to do about any of it.”
“You’re doing fine, Jess. The job is new, and you’re killing it. You’ll get used to being away from home. And Tyler is a good man. If you want my advice, I say you should give him a chance. But then again, if you’re not ready and it makes you uncomfortable, give yourself some time.”
“I don’t feel uncomfortable around him. The opposite, actually. It’s just that he kept kind of a big secret from me.”
Teja’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“He has a kid.”
“Oh wow.” Teja didn’t seem as surprised as Jessica would’ve expected.
“It’s a big deal. Right?”
“Right. I get it, that’s a bit of a shock. But he is close to thirty. It’s not unheard of.”
“I guess. And it’s not so much that his daughter exists. It’s that he didn’t tell me about her.”
“I can see why you’d be torn up over it. But at the same time, I get his reluctance. He might’a been fixin’ to tell you all about her earlier, but didn’t know how. I can imagine telling your new girlfriend about your daughter would be a hard thing to do.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. But I can’t be with someone who isn’t totally honest with me. Not after the stress I’ve been through with Hilton.”
“And you think he’s a dishonest guy? You can’t trust him now?”
Jessica frowned. “No, I don’t feel that way.
I trust him completely. He makes me feel so safe and relaxed…
I guess I worried that I was letting my guard down too much.
And then I found out he was keeping this from me, and then I thought maybe he could be keepin’ other things from me…
and next thing I knew there were puddles of sweat under my arms.”
Teja laughed. “Oh no, girl! You’re caught in some kind of worry loop! Borrowin’ trouble over things that haven’t happened yet and aren’t likely to. Relax a little. Sometimes in life you gotta let things flow naturally and see where they take you.”
Back in her own house, Jessica sat on the couch eating marshmallows dipped in chocolate for dinner.
She didn’t have anything else in the house and wasn’t about to go to Kroger at eight o’clock at night.
She’d stayed far too long at Teja’s. They’d talked for hours, and now she was in front of the TV, watching a detective show with a blanket over her legs and a kitten cozied up beside her.
But she couldn’t focus on the show. She kept thinking about Tyler. After a while, she grabbed up her phone and called him. He answered after two rings.
“Hey,” he said. “Happy New Year.”
“You too. Did you have a nice Christmas?”
“I did. I had brunch here with Mom and Sophie, then the whole extended family came over for a late lunch. We basically just ate food and talked all day long. Oh, and we had snow. Did anyone tell you that?”
“Snow? Wow. No, no one has said a thing. Of course, the only people I’ve seen were the Uber driver and Teja.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t much. Didn’t stick, but it was pretty nice. My cousins’ kids were all excited.”
“My parents were over the moon to have me back. They made sure I gained about five pounds. My mom kept shoving delicious food in my direction. She’s convinced I’m not eating enough, but I told her that the food in Georgia is delicious, and I’m not missing out on anything.”
“I’m glad you had a nice time.” He paused. “It’s good to hear from you…”
“But you’re wondering why I’m calling?”
“Kind of.” She could hear the smile in his words. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“I wanted to know how you are. I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“You know why. Right?”
“Of course, I get it. I broke up with you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.”
He laughed. “Okay, fine. Well, you should probably know my news, then.”
“You have news?”
“I got the job with the sheriff’s office. I’m starting training next week.”
Jessica felt a rush of joy at his news. She was so happy for him. “That’s great! You’ll do so well in that role, I just know it.”
“Thanks, Jess. I wanted to tell you right away, but…”
“But we weren’t talking. It’s fine. Thanks for letting me know now.”
As she hung up the phone, her euphoria faded.
She hated this space between them. And she missed him.
It was crazy because she was the one who’d wanted that space, who’d asked him for it, but now she resented it.
She still wasn’t ready to change things between them, but she didn’t have to like it, did she?
She was a complicated mess of contradictory feelings. What else was new?
With a sigh, she gave Moon another pat, and then snuggled down into the couch to watch her show.