Chapter 8
Me: You got any spare vehicles sitting around the ranch?
Reid: I think you mean “Happy birthday, Reid.”
Me: I’m coming to your birthday dinner for fuck’s sake.
Reid: I’m waiting.
Me: …
Me: Happy birthday, Reid.
Reid: Dick. Now, what were you asking?
Me: Are there any vehicles sitting around the ranch that are available?
Reid: Got an old single cab for hauling shit around.
Me: Anything with a backseat?
Reid: I can ask Connor if Delilah’s car’s available. They always take his truck or one of the ranch trucks.
Me: I’ll ask him, thanks brother.
Reid: Harper’s a bit young for driving lessons. Got anything to tell me?
Me: Yea. Shut the fuck up.
Me: Reid said Delilah’s car might be available?
Connor: Hello to you too, Grey.
Me: …
Connor: She never uses it. Why?
Me: My nanny needs a reliable way to transport Harper and her kid.
Connor: Your nanny, huh? I thought Harper needed a nanny.
Connor: She tuck you in at night? Sing you to sleep?
Me: Fuck. Off.
Connor: Do you need the car or not?
Me: Yes.
Connor: What’s the magic word?
Me: I’ll pay to rent the car. Don’t fucking test me or I’ll make your life a living hell.
Connor: You sure have a way with words. Yea, man. Come get it whenever you need it.
Me: Thanks.
“Ican’t accept this.” Mia’s arms are wrapped tightly around her chest, hands tucked into her armpits.
“It’s not a big deal.” I try again to hold out the new smart phone for her to take.
“You’re essentially giving me and Everly free room and board. You’re renting me a car. You installed new car seats in the car. And you bought me a phone? It’s too much.”
I scrub my free hand down my face, dropping the phone to my side.
“You’re Harper’s live-in nanny. These are standard items you need to properly do your job, don’t you think?”
“Of course. Did you buy any of your past nannies phones or cars?”
“Well, no…”
“Did any of your past nannies live here free of charge?”
“No, it was never…”
“Exactly.” Clearly she feels like she’s made her point, because she cocks out her hip with a spark of attitude, giving me a glimpse of who Mia might be beneath the layers of trauma.
“Listen. This is a unique situation. I need someone here for Harper, you need a job, somewhere to stay with the ability to watch Everly. If that means renting you a reliable vehicle to safely transport the girls and yourself and buying a goddamn phone so you can call me if you need help, I’d say it’s completely justified. Just let me do this for you.”
My frustration is mounting. I’ve never claimed to have good people skills, especially not with beautiful women. Why won’t she just accept it as a job perk, or a fucking gift, and move on? Wait until she finds out I’m paying 100 percent of her family healthcare out of pocket. She’ll shit a brick.
That plump lower lip’s quivering, and the apples of her cheeks are reddening.
I take a step back from her, trying to give her space. I’m not a huge guy, but if my instincts are correct, I need to be aware of her sense of safety.
As if the fight flees from her body, she crumples to my couch in a heap of physical and emotional exhaustion.
I’m not uncomfortable with silence; I prefer it most of the time. I set the phone beside her on the couch and take a seat at the other end of the sectional.
“I didn’t grow up with much.” Her voice is so small, I have to lean in.
“The things we had were temporary, or conditional. Before I met him, I’d never had a phone, let alone a car. But he showered me with gifts.” Her delicate voice cracks, my cold heart along with it.
“As soon as we were married, not only did the gifts stop…he took them all back. He made me feel independent and connected to the world, just to pull the rug from under my feet and prove how powerless I was.”
I’m still waiting on some searches to come back, but Mia’s confirmed one of my many suspicions about her past, and I don’t like it one bit.
“I hope you can understand it’s difficult for me to trust that you’re doing these things for me out of the kindness of your heart, with no strings attached.” Her deep blue eyes are pools of sorrow, placid and lightless.
“I don’t do anything out of the kindness of my heart. At least not for anyone other than family. I’m offering you space in my home, reliable transportation and communication, solely for my benefit.” Her brows crinkle, suspicion and confusion rolled into one.
“I can’t run the store without knowing Harper’s safe and cared for.
In order for you to do your job, you need these things.
You don’t know me, you don’t trust me yet, and that’s fine.
But there aren’t any strings for you to get tangled up in.
You could skip town with the phone and the car tomorrow and the only way I’d be affected would be needing to interview for a new nanny. ”
I don’t mean for it to sound like she’s replaceable or invaluable. But I need to impress upon her how serious I am about never holding these gifts, job perks, whatever the fuck she wants to think of them as, over her head.
“Use the car to take care of my daughter, your daughter, and yourself. Use the phone to stay safe and connected to me, and my family. I programmed everyone’s numbers into your contacts; everyone at the ranch, my sister, the store, the school, even Harper’s doctor.”
We sit in silence, nothing left to say, but neither of us willing to bend. I refuse to allow Mia or Everly to be unsafe for a millisecond under my watch. I don’t want to come across like whatever piece of shit hurt her, but I’m not giving her a choice in the matter of her safety.
“Okay.” Her weak acceptance, just a whisper, is enough.
Not wanting to crowd her, I give a tight nod and head back downstairs to the store.
Those reports I’ve been waiting on had better be ready because I’m tired of speculating about what happened to the golden angel upstairs.
“Daddy, have you seen my purple Sparkle Time unicorn?”
“Is it in the toy box?”
“No!”
Apparently, time can stand still until Harper finds this goddamn horse toy.
“Harp, we’ve got to go. We don’t have time for this.”
Her deep brown eyes are backlit with mounting fury. Not only do we not have time to find the toy, but we also don’t have time for a meltdown.
“Where did you see it last?”
“Me and Everly were playing with it while you were at work this morning while Miss Mia got ready,” Harper whines.
I’ve kept the hell away from Mia’s bedroom, for her privacy and my sanity. I know she lets Harper play in there because it’s also Everly’s room, and if going in for a hot second to get the toy will get this show on the road, I’ll have to forego permission and ask for forgiveness.
“Try to use the bathroom and put on your shoes. I’ll go check for the horse.”
“Unicorn, Daddy!”
Yea, yea. What’s the fucking difference? Being a girl dad is a practice in humility; accepting I don’t know a goddamn thing and probably never will.
The doorknob to Mia’s room laughs in my face. This is my fucking house, I have every right to enter that room. With a mental slap to the face, I turn the knob and stride into the room to find this useless purple piece of plastic.
It’s sitting nicely on the windowsill, next to several of its rainbow-colored companions. But it’s not the rescued toy I’m focusing on.
The room is spotless. Unlived in. Like a hotel attendant has been through the room and cleaned it after check-out for the next guests.
Mia and Everly’s backpacks sit on the dresser I bought as soon as I knew the nanny would be living here. They’re unzipped, and the contents are pristinely folded and packed. The bins of Harper’s clothes I brought up from storage sit right where I left them, days ago.
A quick pop of the lid shows me what I already know—she didn’t even open the bins to look. I’m already snooping, so it’s all too easy to open the dresser drawers to find them empty.
She hasn’t unpacked. She has no intention of unpacking. She needs to be able to run at a moment’s notice.
My new nanny’s a fuckin’ flight risk.
I grab the uni-horse and slam the door behind me harder than necessary.
Mia took Everly to the market a while ago, they should’ve been back by now.
My hand unconsciously pats my pocket for my phone, fingers itching to text her. I shouldn’t. She doesn’t technically start work as Harper’s nanny until tomorrow. I wanted her to get her feet planted before piling on responsibilities.
“Alright, woman, let’s get going,” I say, handing the toy to my daughter.
Her giggle lights my soul. She always gets a kick out of it when I call her “woman”.
I have to pick up an order for the store from Steamboat Springs, so I figured I’d take my girl for a daddy-daughter day.
“Can we go to the cowboy store, Daddy?” I lock the door behind me and follow Harper down the stairs to the truck.
“We always do.”
F.M. Light & Sons has been a Steamboat Springs hallmark for over one hundred years. Harper loves trying on the cowboy hats and hell if I don’t end up buying her something most trips.
Her glee puffs my chest that every once in a while, I do this “dad” thing right.
“Everly!” Harper squeals, running to hug her new best friend. The three-year age gap means nothing to them, and I couldn’t be more grateful my girl has someone to hang around with other than my tornado of a sister and the rest of these yahoos.
“Somethin’ smells incredible.” Looking through the open living-dining-kitchen area, I don’t see Mia, but the counter’s lined with dish after dish of what looks like a gourmet meal.
“Everly, where’s your mom?”
“She said she needed to get herself together. She went to our room.” I don’t miss Everly’s parroting of Mia’s words and am immediately wary.
The girls settle in at the dining table, coloring in coloring books I’ve never seen before, with brand new crayons, one at each pristine place setting. I try to cook most nights, but even then, we eat in front of the TV more often than I’d like to admit.
For the second time today, I dare to enter Mia’s room without permission. At least this time, I knock as I swing the door open.
What I find is beyond anything I could’ve prepared for. I quickly shut the door behind me, careful not to alert the girls.
Mia’s sitting on the floor, leaning against the bedframe, hysterically crying. I gingerly step toward her and crouch in front of her, careful not to get too close.
“Hey, hey. What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
She startles so badly she fumbles behind her to get off the floor, pressed as tightly against the bed as she can get. I stand with her and take a step backwards.
“You scared me,” she heaves, wiping tears from her face.
“Sorry. Everly said you were in here.” I scan her face for any sign of injury and find nothing but defeat and tear-stained rosy cheeks. “What’s goin’ on?”
Her eyes frantically take me in, as if gauging my mood.
“You can talk to me. Don’t have to by any means, but you can if you want.” After a few tortuous beats, she sighs and sits on the mattress.
“There were some great steaks on sale at the market. I wanted to thank you for everything: this job, the room, trusting me with your daughter.” I nod for her to continue.
It wasn’t at all necessary for her to spend whatever money she has on steak to feed me, but I don’t want to offend her.
“I should’ve familiarized myself with your kitchen before I started, but I wanted dinner to be ready by the time you got home.”
The way she’s twisting her hands in her lap, I swear she’s going to spiral fracture her delicate fingers. My own hands ball into fists at the sight of her distress, so I shove them in my pockets so as not to scare her.
“Anyway, one mishap led to another and by the time everything was cooked, the steaks were overdone, but the potatoes were underdone, and the salad from the market was a bit wilted, and while I was fussing over plating everything, I bumped into the oven and it made the cake fall, and—”
“Woah, woah. Slow down. First of all, it’s so kind and not at all expected for you to cook us dinner.” Her eyes are wild, waiting for…what, I don’t know.
“Second of all, you’re cooking in a strange kitchen. I’m surprised you found anything at all with where everything’s shoved into the cabinets.” Her shoulders drop a hair from her ears.
“Thirdly, I’m no gourmet chef. You think we’re gonna give a shit about food that ain’t Michelin star? I’ll eat anything happily, and Harper’s a garbage disposal. That kid will eat the gristle off your plate if you let her.” One side of her mouth tilts in a tiny grin, making my chest ache.
“Fourth, fifth, whatever number I’m on, you made a cake? Are you kidding me? You’ll be lucky if we ever let you quit.” Her grin grows to reach both sides of her mouth, plump pink lips stretching into a smile.
“Now, you wanna tell me why the hiccups with making dinner had you cryin’ so hard?” I ask, needing, but not wanting, to know the answer.
She hesitates, chewing the inside of her cheek, but ultimately answer.
“If I’d made these mistakes back home…there would’ve been…consequences.”
The way she says consequences tell me everything I need to know. Any man who dares lay hands on a woman is better off six feet under and I’d be more than happy to do the honors.
“Well, the only consequences you’ll find in this house are me bitchin’ and moanin’ about how tight my jeans are after I clean my plate.” A faint blush flashes across her cheeks, and it isn’t from the crying.
I angle my body toward the door. “Come on. Let’s go eat the delicious meal you cooked and maybe you can explain to me in a way my thick head can retain, what the difference between a horse and a unicorn is.”
Her peal of laughter sends goosebumps racing down my arms.
“And the explanation’s got to be more than ‘it has a horn’, because for as often as I get in trouble over it, there’d better be some good reasons why I’m an idiot dad.”
“You’re not an idiot dad,” Mia says softly, following me out of her bedroom. “Harper might be the luckiest little girl on the planet to have you as her dad.”
“Naw. I’m the lucky one.”
And I am. Despite losing my dad young and the shit that went down with Meredith, I’m really fucking lucky. I’ve got the Andersens and the best found-family a man could ask for. I’d go through what Vanessa put me through a million times over to be Harper’s dad.
Now I’m lucky enough to have this gorgeous young woman and her firecracker little girl living in my house, making my daughter happier than I’ve ever seen her after only a couple short days.
I can’t explain it, but they belong here. I just have to find a way to keep her from running.