4. Reese
Reese
The sun glared down from the sky as if it were angry, baking the desert in an act of revenge as I walked out of the hardware store. I got in my SUV, turned on the engine, and cranked the AC.
The cold air brought to mind a different landscape. Snowcapped mountains. Evergreen forests. Glacier-fed rivers. I could almost smell the pine trees surrounding my parents’ log home. See the town lights twinkling through the trees.
I pushed the image from my mind.
I’d gone to the diner for breakfast first thing. No sign of the assholes, but Summer had told me they’d been back the day before. It pissed me off that I hadn’t been there.
Of course, what was I supposed to do? Camp out at her workplace to make sure no one bothered her?
Actually, if she’d hired me to provide security, that’s exactly what I would have done.
I hadn’t asked for details, just whether they’d been back. Kinda regretted that. She’d quickly changed the subject, saying they’d probably been passing through town and wouldn’t be in again. I wasn’t so sure about that, and I wondered what they wanted with her.
After leaving the diner, I’d circled through town, looking for them. Checked the motels and bars. No sign of them. But my gut said they were still around. And my gut was usually right.
Despite the fact that Summer had claimed she didn’t know them, my gut also told me she was in some kind of trouble.
I hadn’t really needed anything at the hardware store. I’d grabbed some WD-40 and a pack of light bulbs for my garage, but mostly it had been an excuse to stay in town instead of going home.
Was it simply restlessness getting to me, or my gut feeling about Summer? Probably a bit of both.
Before I could back out of my parking spot, my phone buzzed with a call. It was Gunnar, my main business partner.
“Hey, man,” I answered.
“How’s it going?”
“It’s going. What’s up?”
“A job. I know you just got back in town, but hear me out.”
“I’m listening.”
“Client’s husband bailed on her. Cleared out their bank accounts, left her with six figures in credit card debt, and fled to Brazil. Her parents have money, and they’re happy to use some of it to help their daughter.”
“She wants us to track him down?”
“We already did. If he’s trying to hide, he sucks at it. He was easy to find.”
“Then what’s the end game? Get him back to the States?”
“No. She just wants to go down there and confront him.”
“And she doesn’t want to be alone when she does it.”
“Exactly. Should be straightforward. Get her in, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, get her home again.”
“Are there kids involved?”
“No.”
“What’s the timeline?”
“Soon as possible.”
I hesitated. Yesterday, I’d been ready for the next job. Providing security for a woman while she went to confront her douchebag ex was the sort of thing I did all the time. It would be an easy payday. And more importantly, a chance to get out of town again.
A chance to keep moving.
I flexed my fist. Take the job, Reese. This one is a no-brainer.
“I can’t,” I heard myself say. “I have some things I need to take care of here before I can head out again.”
“All right, fair enough. I bet Decker can take it.”
“Yeah, give him a call. But listen, if he can’t, give me a few days. I might have things wrapped up by then.”
“Sounds good. Talk later.”
I ended the call. What the hell? Had I seriously just turned down a job so I could keep tabs on a woman who was not my client?
Yes. Yes, I had.
I rolled my eyes.
Stupid. So stupid.
At that point, there was no use denying what I was going to do next. I left the hardware store and turned onto the main road through town, heading for the diner.
Maybe I’d just drive by. I could check the parking lot for bikes, then head home. If I didn’t go in, I wouldn’t see her. And if I didn’t see her, I wouldn’t have to grapple with those damn eyes of hers.
Or those curves.
When I got to the diner, the parking lot was only about half full. No bikes.
That was good. But instead of driving by as planned, I pulled into the lot and parked on the far side next to a beat-up white sedan.
Filled with sudden indecision, I glared at the train car turned diner.
What was I worried about? That proximity to a woman I found attractive was going to cause something terrible to happen?
An alarm went off on my phone, and a mild sense of dread swept through me. I didn’t have to look to see what the alarm was for. It was time to call my mother.
I set alerts to check in with her a few times a year. It was May, and I hadn’t talked to her since the previous Thanksgiving. It wasn’t much, but she deserved to know I was okay.
I opened the glove box and grabbed one of the burner phones I kept on hand.
I never used my actual phone to call my mom.
But would it be so bad if she had my number?
I knew she wouldn’t come looking for me or worse, send my brothers after me.
She could have a thousand times over the years, and she never had. Just waited for me to reach out.
It was starting to get to me. I knew what it cost her to leave me alone—to not ask where I was or what I was doing. And I hated myself for doing that to her.
Self-loathing was a heavy burden for a man. And I was buried under a mountain of it.
“Fuck,” I muttered, and called her number.
Her voice was soft and familiar. “Hello?”
“Hi, Mom.”
“Reese. How are you?”
I closed my eyes, my heart clenching in my chest. “I’m fine. Nothing really going on. Just figured I should check in.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“How is everyone?”
“Everyone is great. Let’s see, there’s been a lot going on. Luke and Melanie got married. Do you remember Melanie Andolini?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“It was a beautiful wedding. And we have another one coming. Theo, this time. Her name is Penelope, and she’s just lovely.”
“Wow. Good for him.” I started to ask another question—“How’s Dad?”—but I couldn’t make myself say it.
“It’s wonderful to see my kids so happy,” she said.
“I bet.”
An awkward silence ensued. I wasn’t sure what else to say. I was so used to keeping secrets, I barely knew how to maintain a simple conversation with her. But I didn’t want to hang up yet, either.
Finally, she spoke again. “Reese?”
“Yeah.”
“I know you don’t want me to ask, but have you thought about…”
I waited after she trailed off, but she didn’t continue. She didn’t have to. I knew what she was getting at. She wanted to know if I had thought about coming home.
“You know I can’t.”
“Why?”
“It’s better for everyone if I stay away.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s not a good idea.”
Something changed in her voice, the hesitation gone. “Why, Reese? Why can’t you come home?”
“Mom—”
“Look, hang up on me if that’s what you need to do, but I can’t keep pretending this is okay. You’re like a wild animal. I’m afraid if I make one wrong move, I’ll chase you away and you won’t call again.”
I rubbed my sternum, as if that would ease the ache in my chest. It didn’t.
“You won’t chase me away.”
“Good. Then hear me out. I don’t know what terrible thing you’re afraid will happen if you come home, but it won’t.”
I wished I could believe her. But she was blinded by her maternal affection. She had no idea how bad it would be.
“I can’t.”
She sighed. “I’m not here to shame or guilt you into anything. It’s not about that. And I don’t know why you’ve stayed away so long. But whatever demons you’re fighting, you have more allies than you realize. You don’t have to fight alone.”
I didn’t know how to make her understand. Not without telling her a lot of things I didn’t want her to know. She’d never see me the same way.
“Just think about it,” she said. “You don’t have to decide anything now.”
“Okay. I’ll think about it.”
“Promise me. Promise that you’ll really consider it.”
The knot in my gut twisted. I couldn’t break a promise to my mom. It was why I still called her, even though it tore me up every time. I’d promised her I wouldn’t abandon her. The rest of my family would say that I had done exactly that, but I always made sure she was okay.
“Fine. I promise.”
“Thank you.”
“I gotta go.”
“All right. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I ended the call and tossed the phone back into the glove box.
“Fuck.”
Go home? She didn’t know what she was asking.
She also didn’t know I’d been back. Twice.
The first time was when I’d been living a different life. Mostly to see if I could. I’d spent two days in Tilikum, the small town in the Washington Cascade mountains where I’d grown up. No one had recognized me.
Granted, I’d avoided my family at all costs. But it had been easier than I’d thought. People saw what they wanted to see, and, even then, I’d looked nothing like the guy who’d left.
Later, a job had brought me back. That time, I’d come face-to-face with people who might have known me. But I’d fooled them, too.
Except my brother Zachary. I was pretty sure he’d seen me. I’d been getting in my SUV, and he’d stared while I drove away.
Then again, maybe not. I’d hightailed it out of town, and he hadn’t followed. If he had recognized me, he probably would have started a high-speed chase. Z was wild like that.
Or he had been. I knew from my mom he was a husband and father now. It was hard to imagine.
So much in Tilikum was different. But so was I.
Did that mean Mom was right? That the things I feared if I went back wouldn’t happen?
Movement on the side of the building caught my eye. Someone in a pink T-shirt was walking around from the back.
Summer.
The blazing sun shone on her skin, and the hot wind blew her hair around her face. For a moment, all thoughts of home fled.
I zeroed in on her like she was a target. Shielding her eyes with her hand, she scanned the parking lot. Probably looking for them.
My grip on the steering wheel tightened. She was so vulnerable. So alone. A profound sense of protectiveness welled up inside me.
That, and raw, animal attraction.
She glanced in my direction and stopped. My windows were darkly tinted, but from where she’d paused, she had a view through my windshield. And she looked right at me.