16. Reese #2
Zachary’s truck was outside Lumberjack Park, so I stopped behind him. Josiah and Luke were already there, and Theo drove up a moment after me. The reindeer was tied to a tree, contentedly munching on the grass.
“Merry Christmas,” Z said as he got out of his truck. He set a red duffel bag at my feet. “Epic town prank, phase two.”
“What is this?” I asked.
He grinned. “A Santa costume.”
“Why are you giving it to me?”
“Because you, my friend, are playing Santa.” Before I could protest, he grabbed a white bucket out of the back of his truck. “These candy canes aren’t going to give themselves out.”
“You think I’m going to dress up as Santa and pass out candy canes?”
Luke and Theo snickered behind their hands. I shot them both a glare. Josiah stood with his arms crossed, as if daring me to refuse.
“I don’t think you are,” Z said. “I know you are. Consider it your penance.”
“You’re lucky he didn’t come up with something worse,” Theo said.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t argue,” Luke added. “Or he will come up with something worse.”
With his arms still crossed, Josiah raised his eyebrows. His expression looked a lot like Dad.
Shaking my head, I picked up the duffel bag.
“And don’t phone it in,” Z said. “Kids love Santa. You need to be convincing.”
“He’s kind of the wrong shape.” Luke gestured as if measuring the width of my shoulders.
“He’ll be jacked Santa,” Theo said.
With a sigh of resignation, I brought the duffel bag to my SUV and set it on the driver’s seat.
Sure enough, there was a Santa costume, complete with a hat and white beard.
I put on the pants and coat over my clothes, but they didn’t come close to fitting—too tight around my thighs, too loose around my waist, and my arms threatened to burst right through the seams. It wasn’t going to be comfortable, but I’d make it work, and hopefully not ruin the costume in the process.
I donned the beard and finished the look with the red hat. Turning, I spread my arms, although I couldn’t lift them very far. “What do you think?”
Luke and Theo snickered again, and even Josiah cracked a smile. Zachary tilted his head, rubbing his chin as he scrutinized me.
“Yeah, I think we need the pillow.” Z reached into the cab of his truck and produced a bed pillow. He shoved it at me. “Put this under the coat.”
I was already sweating, and a pillow was not going to help. But it would probably help keep the pants up, so I tucked it beneath the coat and pulled the pants up over it.
Zachary grinned and handed me the bucket of candy canes. “Better. Now go be Santa.”
“For how long?”
“Until the candy canes are gone. And get rid of the scowl. Be jolly.”
“I wasn’t scowling.”
“You’re always scowling. You probably just don’t realize it.”
“You do have RSF,” Luke said.
“What’s RSF?”
“Resting scary face,” Luke answered. “It’s similar to RAF, only scarier.”
“Resting asshole face,” Theo added before I could ask. He nodded toward Josiah. “Like him.”
Josiah rolled his eyes.
“Fine,” I said. “I’m Jolly Old St. Nick until the candy canes run out.”
Zachary got something else out of his truck and handed them out to Luke, Josiah, and Theo. They all put on green and red elf hats.
“Lead the way, boss,” Zachary said.
I pointed at his hat. “I’m afraid to even ask.”
“It wouldn’t be Christmas without carols. Let’s go.”
Carrying the bucket of candy canes, dressed in what had to be the most uncomfortable Santa costume in existence, I headed down the sidewalk toward Main Street. My brothers launched into “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” behind me.
We wandered the streets, and I handed out candy canes while they sang. One song led into another, and Z made sure I didn’t cheat by giving out handfuls of candy canes to everyone we passed.
Some people gaped at us, like they had no idea what to think.
Others laughed and came running to get a treat.
One little girl asked if she could sit on my lap, so we stopped at a bench.
She told me she’d been a good girl so far and she really wanted a baby sister for Christmas.
Her parents looked shocked and hustled her away.
It didn’t take long for me to get into it. I ho-ho-ho’d and wished everyone Merry Christmas in my best Santa voice.
We stopped again outside the Copper Kettle, where a group of people waited for us. A little boy requested “Jingle Bells,” so my brothers and I launched into the song. At the end of the first “one-horse open sleigh,” some of the staff came outside—including Summer.
At first, I wondered if she’d recognize me, but judging from her wide eyes and open mouth, she obviously did. After we finished the song, I handed out candy canes. She waited until everyone else got one before stepping forward.
“Merry Christmas,” I said, using my normal voice.
“Oh my goodness.” She laughed. “This is… I don’t even know.”
“Have you been a good girl?” I held up a candy cane and winked.
Her lips parted. I probably shouldn’t have said that. Suddenly I was aware the costume was tight in more places than the shoulders and thighs.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I guess you’ll have to check your list.”
I gave her the candy cane, resisting the urge to say I wanted her on my naughty list.
She smiled. “Thanks, Santa Claus. Have fun out there.”
“Merry Christmas.”
Zachary slapped my back a few times. “Okay, Santa. Time to keep moving. We still have Christmas cheer to spread.”
Summer bit her lower lip and wiggled her fingers at me in a wave as I walked away.
Man, was I in trouble.