18. Reese
Reese
Talk about a close call. I’d almost lost my mind and kissed Summer in my parents’ kitchen.
And yet, as we sat together eating dinner, I wondered…
What was really holding me back?
I was usually good at reading people, and that look she’d given me—eyes on mine, lips parted—at least hinted at a yes. It might have even meant she’d wanted me to kiss her.
So why not just do it?
Too many reasons to count.
She insisted on cleaning up the kitchen. The trash was full, so while she got started on the dishes, I took it outside. I needed to put some space between us.
I put the bag in the garbage can, and as the lid banged shut, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out to check.
Gunnar.
Finally.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Hey, man. Sorry it took me a few days to get over here. My last client took longer to wrap up than expected.”
“No worries. Did you just get there, or is their stuff packed up already?”
“Just got here, but we have a problem.”
“What?”
“I’m sending you pictures.”
I put him on speaker while the pictures came through.
Summer’s apartment had been trashed. The furniture was slashed and shredded, their belongings dumped on the floor.
It looked like the cupboards had been emptied, her dishes smashed.
And the word “whore” was spray-painted on her bedroom wall.
It wasn’t a stretch to figure out who’d used her apartment as a rage room.
“Fuck,” I said under my breath, and started pacing up and down the gravel path leading to my dad’s shop.
“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t get her stuff out of here sooner.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“At least we know you did the right thing by getting her out of town.”
“True. I wonder if he figured out that she’s gone or just tore it up to fuck with her.”
“Could go either way. Maybe this was his parting gift on his way out of town.” He paused. “What do you want me to do here? Pack what they didn’t trash and get rid of the rest?”
“Yeah, do your best.”
“Got it.”
“I wish I knew if this Axel piece of shit is operating on his own or if the club is willing to back him. But I have a feeling it’s the latter. Her mom called a little while ago, telling her she needs to cooperate and let the ex have his kid.”
“Sounds like a warning.”
I stopped pacing in front of the shop and looked out over the woods at the back of my folks’ property. “Or a threat. I think she knows what they’re planning to do, and she’s trying to get ahead of it. Solve the problem, so to speak.”
“Fuck, man. That’s cold. The club over her own daughter.”
“And her grandson.”
“Brutal. Don’t you wonder how we ever lived like that? What the fuck were we thinking?”
“All the time.”
“My wife was asking me questions the other day. You know, about club life. I didn’t want to tell her the truth. Some of the shit we did. I don’t know, man.”
Gravel crunched behind me, and I froze. Without looking, I knew it was Summer. She’d opened the back door off the kitchen and, somehow, I hadn’t heard her.
But had she heard us talking? And if she had, how much?
“Me neither,” I said. “Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call you back.”
I ended the call and slowly turned to look at her.
She stood with the cast-iron pan in her hands—she’d probably come outside to ask where it went—and her expression said it all. She looked stricken.
“Club life?” she asked.
“It was a long time ago.”
“What club?”
“They’re not around anymore.”
“Tell me.” Her voice was stone cold.
“Savage Ride.”
Her hand tightened around the cast-iron handle. “You were a member? How could you keep that from me?”
“I got out. It’s not who I am anymore.”
“No one gets out.” She shook her head slowly. “They own you for life.”
“Not always.”
“Yes, always. Is that why you’ve been helping us? You guys are a Mayhem rival and anything to stick it to an enemy club?”
“No. Summer, that’s not what’s going on.”
Pain crossed her features. It felt like being stabbed in the chest.
“I really want to believe you,” she said. “But this is a lot, and this pan is heavy. I’m going inside. I need a minute.”
I watched her go, the weight of guilt and failure sitting heavily on my shoulders.
Damn it.
Pocketing my phone, I wandered past the shop and into the woods. She had said she needed a minute, and I could give her that.
The air was cooler in the shade of the pine trees. Squirrels scampered around, darting away before I got close, and birds chirped above me.
I hadn’t gone far when the back of my neck prickled. Someone was coming.
Summer stepped around the side of my dad’s shop, and I walked back to meet her.
“I probably walked off too quickly,” she said. “It just freaked me out to hear you say that.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was always going to, I just wasn’t sure how.”
She nodded slowly. “You’re actually out? They let you go?”
“That’s less complicated when the club no longer exists.”
“What happened?”
“We got into a war with another club. The two presidents had history that went way back. It got ugly. A lot of guys died, including the higher-ups on both sides. Those of us who were left didn’t want anything to do with it anymore.
What were we bleeding for? Territory? Money?
Some old rivalry we hadn’t started? We’d had enough, so we agreed to disband. ”
“What about the other club?”
“They’re still around, but they never really recovered.”
“So that was it?”
“Pretty much. Some of us stuck together. Started the business we have now doing private security. It makes use of our skills. And I guess it’s a way to make up for some of the damage we did before.”
She glanced away. “Mayhem never lets anyone go. It’s the only club I know, so I thought…”
“You thought I’ve been lying to you.”
“I’m—”
“Don’t apologize. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for you to hear.”
She met my eyes. “Is that why you didn’t come home for so long? You didn’t want them to know?”
I wanted to look away—to break the scrutiny of her gaze. But I didn’t. “Yes. I left on bad terms to begin with. And I stayed away because I didn’t want them to know who I’d become.”
“But that’s not who you are now.”
“No, it’s not. And for reasons I can’t fathom, they forgave me.”
She smiled. “They love you. And they’re happy to have you home.”
I nodded. Whether or not I understood it, she was right.
“Is that where you got your scar?” She pointed at the side of my jaw. “The club war?”
I rubbed the spot. “This? No. I got this out here, actually. Climbed too high up a tree and fell. Hit a branch on the way down.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah, not my best day. I probably should have gotten stitches, but I let Josiah put some bandages on it so my mom wouldn’t see how bad it was. That’s why it scarred.”
She laughed. “You poor thing.”
“I lived.” I hesitated. I hated that I had more bad news. “That was my partner, Gunnar, on the phone.”
“Did he get into my apartment?”
“He did. Unfortunately, it looks like Axel got there first.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh, no. What did he do?”
I pulled out my phone and showed her the pictures.
She covered her mouth with her hand. “If we’d been there…”
“You weren’t. We got you out in time.” I slipped my phone back in my pocket. “Gunnar is going to get some guys to pack up everything that isn’t ruined and get rid of the rest, if that’s okay with you.”
“That’s fine. I’m not sure what else he could do. I feel bad leaving all that mess to someone else, though.”
“Don’t worry about that. He’ll take care of it. If you want him to sell your car, he can take care of that, too. You could buy a new one here.”
“That works. I didn’t really like that car anyway.”
“He said he’s sorry he didn’t get your apartment cleaned out sooner. He had to finish up with another client first.”
She waved her hand. “He doesn’t need to be sorry. It’s Axel’s fault. Besides, he might have done that right after we left. Do you think he knows we’re gone?”
“It’s hard to tell. Gunnar will keep an eye out for him in case he’s still in town. But he might have gone back to Mayhem’s headquarters by now.”
“What am I going to tell Nate? He already hates Axel. He’s going to be furious.”
“Let him be angry. He should be. Axel’s a dick.”
“He is, but I know Nate. He doesn’t know how to deal with his anger.”
“Let me guess. He shoves it down until it eventually explodes and he punches a kid at recess?”
“Exactly. It’s not healthy, but I don’t know how to help him. He never wants to talk about it.”
“He doesn’t need to talk. He needs to get it out physically.”
She crossed her arms. “And since when are you the expert?”
“Since I knew a kid who was exactly like him.”
“One of your brothers?”
“Me.”
“What did you have to be angry about?” She tilted her head. “You grew up here.”
“I had a dad who walked out on me and my brothers. And a body that grew too fast. I had brothers who were strong and athletic, and I was the awkward chubby kid.”
“Sorry. I shouldn’t assume that just because your family’s nice, everything was sunshine and roses.”
“It’s fine. I realize I’m not a parent, so I have no idea what I’m doing—even as a fake stepdad. But I do know a little bit about what Nate’s going through.”
“Are you saying you want to tell him about our apartment?”
“Yes. And I’ll see if I can get him to let out some of his aggression. Without hitting anyone.”
“Thank you.”
“What are fake stepdads for?”
She smiled, but there was something else in her eyes. Sadness.
Was it sadness for her son? Or because I wasn’t the man she’d thought I was?
We headed back to the house, and once inside, I showed her where I’d found the cast-iron pan so she could put it away. We chatted a little as we finished cleaning up, and it seemed like we were okay.
But that openness I’d seen, that possibility of a yes… It was gone. I’d shaken her trust. Maybe not a lot. But enough.