Chapter 12 #2
Kissing her had called into question all he thought he knew about himself. Instead of facing the realization that he might actually want a woman to stick around, he doubled down. And hurt Sadie in the process.
Now, he didn’t even know how to start an apology. Especially since he couldn’t honestly say that her lies didn’t matter. He held out his arm. “I’ll escort you back to the manor.”
She shook her head. “No need. I’ll stay out here.”
Nicholas thought of the report about all the accidents happening in the forest lately.
He didn’t truly believe it was haunted, and Sadie had the charm—if she didn’t dig it out and throw it into the spring the moment he left—yet he felt uneasy leaving her alone in the woods.
He knew better than to say it wasn’t safe for her, though.
He lowered his arm. “Mother will kill me if she learns I left you alone in the forest after what happened yesterday.”
“I’m not your responsibility” was her chilly answer.
“No, but you are my guest. Please, Sadie.”
She started walking, but it was in the direction of the house, so he fell in step next to her without comment. Shortly after the path turned away from the spring, she spoke up again. “You need to make up your mind, Nicholas.”
“About what?” he asked, but he knew. It wasn’t fair to Sadie to give her a protection charm and kiss her one moment, and to treat her as an imposition from his mother the next.
She didn’t deign to explain, aware that he understood exactly what she meant. They exited the forest and Sadie walked a little faster, angling herself just enough to look back at him. “Let me know when you’ve decided.”
He didn’t try to catch up as she entered the manor through the door near the brewing room. He continued through the gardens to the back of the manor and the door near his mother’s favorite sitting room. His attempts to make sense of his own jumbled thoughts were cut off before he reached the door.
“There you are.” Abigail’s saccharine voice didn’t fully hide her annoyance. “I was afraid you had forgotten about me.”
“I apologize. Sadie and I walked farther from the house than we should have, and didn’t turn around early enough.”
Abigail slid her arm through his before he even remembered to offer it, pressing close against his side. She looked the direction he had come from. “You went into the forest with her? Was that wise?”
Did she sound gleeful at the thought? Nicholas hid a frown. “I assure you, despite what happened yesterday, the forest is safe.”
Abigail shuddered and clung tighter to his arm. “If you say so. Still, I wouldn’t want to walk there.”
Yes, well, Sadie isn’t you. Thank the spirits. “We’ll stay well away from the trees, then. There is plenty enough space for us to walk.”
“How large is Marstede?”
“It encompasses two-thirds of the Gloaming Forest as well as the land around the manor and the villages of Valway and Lamsdel.” Nicholas allowed a hint of self-deprecation to color his voice. “Nothing compared to Kinseran, your grandfather’s estate, of course.”
Marstede was actually quite large for only being a barony, but the superstitions about the Gloaming Forest had existed for hundreds of years—it had never been considered valuable land.
Abigail preened, as if the size of Kinseran was a direct result of her efforts. “A tie to Kinseran would be beneficial to you and Marstede, wouldn’t it?”
Not really. Marstede’s trade with the various parts of the kingdom were well established.
The only thing the Duke of Kinseran could offer Nicholas would be connections at court.
Connections he neither needed, nor wanted.
And if Abigail were really that well connected to her grandfather, she wouldn’t be at Nicholas’s estate trying to marry a mere baron.
There had to be something more to her decision to accept his mother’s invitation.
Another woman with a secret, but while he was curious what her true reasons for coming to Marstede were, Nicholas didn’t feel the same compulsion to unravel the mystery she represented that he did with Sadie.
Spirits, he just wanted to unravel Sadie.
“Nicholas?” Abigail prompted, squeezing his arm as she said his name.
He wrenched his thoughts back to the present conversation, and realized he hadn’t answered her. “Kinseran holds a lot of influence,” he said, and she accepted it as agreement.
Abigail beamed, but her smile dimmed as she looked around at the overgrown gardens. “I’m surprised Lady Marstede allows this space to be so unkempt.”
“My mother has no interest in gardens.” An understatement.
Madeleine Huxley detested everything related to gardening, though she enjoyed cut flowers in vases.
Nicholas suspected she actually took pleasure in the state of Marstede’s grounds.
She certainly had never scolded him for not hiring a new groundskeeper after the old one retired.
“What? But wasn’t she admired for her garden designs during her debut? It was such a unique talent to showcase.”
It was a talent her father had insisted on alongside the usual art and musical endeavors specifically because the crown prince had been known to be a lover of gardens.
Her family had aims of her becoming a princess and eventual queen, not a mere baroness.
It was probably why she had such sympathy for Jane, another young woman pushed to ignore her own preferences in favor of securing a husband.
But while Nicholas was happy to give Jane access to his brewing room during her stay, he would not be marrying her to secure her freedom to pursue her own hobbies.
“What talent did you debut?” he asked Abigail.
It was a ridiculous custom, in his opinion, underscoring the fact that marriages were more of a transaction between grooms and the brides’ fathers than a union between man and woman.
Also, he truly didn’t understand how being able to sing or paint translated to being a good wife, and so didn’t understand how men could make a decision based on that.
He didn’t care what Abigail’s talent was. But he did trust that the question would allow her to boast about herself for the rest of their walk. He could nod and let his thoughts focus on more important matters. Matters like how he’d apologize to Sadie.
And whether he wanted to kiss her again.
If she’d let him.