Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
Jayne
My heart thunders against my ribcage once I hit enter to send the message to Broderick.
I’d been thinking about it for a couple of hours but then decided to bite the bullet.
He’s probably going to shoot me down but after the disaster with Bodi, I need to feel good about something.
I don’t know what’s come over me, because I never, ever make the first move.
Today just seemed to break something in me.
I hate that my father doesn’t trust me, doesn’t think I’m enough of an adult to decide for myself who I can and can’t date. I screwed up by getting involved with one of his players in college, but I was nineteen and na?ve. I’m much less na?ve now. Besides, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
If Broderick says no, I’m no worse off than I was before I asked.
If he says yes and turns out to be a creep or something, I’m also no worse off than before.
But if he says yes and is as nice as he is online—which I figure is a pipe dream—maybe I’ll have a new friend. God knows, I can use one.
My father’s comment about the fact that I don’t have any hurt.
Partly because he’s right and partly because I do have friends—just not here in Atlanta.
It’s not my fault we moved around several times growing up.
And then I left Manhattan after I got my bachelor’s degree, so there went my college friends.
Of course, I’ve never had what other people would call a bestie.
Your ride or die girlfriend. Someone who always has your back.
Someone you can talk to about anything, giggle with on the phone…
I don’t know why I never made those kinds of girlfriends.
I had to change schools after Dad met Lourdes.
Then I went away to college. And now I’m here.
I’ve read that you make your best friends for life by college, and if that’s true, I’m screwed.
My phone buzzes with a notification and I glance down nervously.
Broderick answered.
So, this is it.
I say a mental prayer and then open the app.
brODERICK: I thought we wanted to be cautious? Take things slow?
JEANNIE: I’ve had a shitty day and I’m about done with cautious.
If you want to exchange pictures first, we can do that, but I’m really leaning into the surprise aspect of it.
If we’re not physically attracted to each other, so be it.
But what can it hurt to meet? We’re both adults and we can meet somewhere public, so safety won’t be an issue.
I have no idea where this boldness is coming from but I’m determined to get out of the funk I’m suddenly in.
brODERICK: I haven’t had a great day either, so I get where you’re coming from.
If you want to meet up, completely blind, so to speak, I’m game.
But we have to be realistic. There’s a 50/50 chance we may not be physically attracted to each other.
Or one of us is and the other isn’t, which means someone’s feelings are going to get hurt.
JEANNIE: I’m no supermodel, but I’m not ugly. I’m curvy but not overweight. I have light brown hair and hazel eyes. You’re going to have to take my word for it.
brODERICK: Okay, that’s fair. I’m five eleven, with blond hair and blue eyes. Where do you want to meet?
JEANNIE: There’s a farmers’ market in Peachtree Heights. I’ll be there on Sunday. There’s a booth called Smitty’s Chocolates that sells the most magnificent peanut butter fudge I’ve ever tasted. I’ll meet you there.
brODERICK: What time?
JEANNIE: Eleven?
brODERICK: Okay. What will you be wearing? Brown hair and hazel eyes could be anyone…
JEANNIE: Black shorts, gray Nirvana T-shirt. What about you?
brODERICK: I’m going to have to write this down or something because I never plan what I’m going to wear! LOL How about gray shorts and a white Arizona Cardinals T-shirt?
JEANNIE: I’ll see you Sunday.
brODERICK: See you then.
JEANNIE: If you change your mind, please just message me. I don’t want to stand there for an hour like a dumbass.
brODERICK: I would never do that. I’ll be there.
JEANNIE: Looking forward to it.
brODERICK: I’ll message you later, okay? I’m about to drive.
JEANNIE: Okay. Be safe.
brODERICK: Will do.
I don’t know why I said that last part but it slipped out before I could stop it.
And now I’m basically roped into meeting a stranger.
But I won’t be alone. The truth is, Kelly and I were planning to go anyway, and she initially told me to invite Bodi.
When I called her a little while ago to lament about today’s events, she reminded me about Broderick and said it was time to shake things up in my life.
By inviting him to meet in person.
Part of me is terrified, but I’m not unattractive.
I’m just kind of shy and introverted. At least, that’s what I’ve heard my father and Lourdes tell people for the last six or seven years.
I don’t remember being introverted when my mother was alive but that seems like a lifetime ago.
And whenever I’m around Lourdes, it’s just easier to disappear than to try to compete.
It shouldn’t be a competition but somehow it always feels like it.
For once, I’m doing something for me.
Something completely out of character.
If it blows up in my face, at least Kelly will be with me.
A knock on the door surprises me and I call out for whoever it is to come in.
To my astonishment, it’s my father.
I can’t remember the last time he came to my room to talk to me. Usually, he corners me at dinner or sends me a text.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hi.” He looks around like he’s never seen my room before. “What are you doing?”
“I was studying but I’m taking a break now. Do you need something?”
“Do you think you could come back downstairs?”
“Why?” I ask suspiciously.
His face tightens. “Could you go down and calm Lindy? She’s having a meltdown and Lourdes is about to lose her cool. You’re much better with Lindy when she’s like this.”
Of course.
He only wants me around when he needs a babysitter.
“I can go get her,” I say softly, sliding off the bed.
“Thanks,” he says gruffly. “And, uh, sorry about before.”
“Before?” I glance over my shoulder. I know what he’s talking about but I’ll be damned if I make it easy for him.
He scratches his chin. “About what I said… you not having any friends. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I was just stressed. It’s really important that everyone have a good time today.”
“Are they?” I ask.
“I think so, yes.” For a fraction of a second, I see a remnant of the dad I remember. Tired and overworked, but also kind and thoughtful. Then it’s gone so quickly I’m not even sure what I saw.
“Then take the win.”
His eyes meet mine and they narrow, as if realizing who he’s talking to. “Just keep your sister up here, will you please? I don’t want Lourdes to lose her temper in front of everyone.”
Because Lourdes loses her temper all the time. God forbid she does it in front of the other wives and girlfriends. Or the team. His staff. The other coaches.
“You worry about Lourdes, I’ll take care of Lindy.”
That, at least, is easy.
She’s a good kid but so desperate for her mother’s attention she’ll do almost anything to get it.
Sadly, the only time Lourdes really pays attention to her is when they’re shopping for things for pageants, and Lindy hates everything about them.
She’s learned to smile and dance and sing, but her heart isn’t in it.
At some point, it’s going to turn into a showdown.
Based on Lindy’s behavior today, probably sooner rather than later.
I’d bet my life that’s the only reason my father apologized.
I’ll take whatever I can get, though. I rarely see my dad anymore, and when I do, he’s complaining about something. That his office at the new arena isn’t finished yet. That the new Zamboni is already scratched. The date of the first pre-season game. It’s always something.
And Lourdes is even worse.
That’s why I do my best to entertain Lindy when I can. She gets the brunt of everyone’s bad moods, and they’re so caught up in themselves they don’t even notice how unhappy she is.
I’m just grateful I had my mom for fourteen years. If I can take even a little of what she taught me and show some of that love and affection to Lindy, it’s win-win for both of us.