Chapter 26
Chapter
Twenty-Six
Jayne
I’m still reeling from our conversation when I get to the arena.
I’m running late and don’t have a chance to go down to the glass during the warm-up, so I make my way to my seat.
Billie texted me earlier to tell me she was going to say a quick hello to Bodi as he comes through the tunnel for warm-ups and then she’d meet me in our seats.
Until then, I’m trying to wrap my head around words like “…trust me to take care of us.”
What does that mean?
I’m stubborn sometimes, but I don’t want to look like some gold digger.
Like Lourdes. Or even as someone who latched on to a pro athlete and let him spirit me away from my difficult family dynamic to lead a life of leisure.
At this point, I don’t give a shit what my father thinks, but I care very much what Bodi thinks.
And what he may think a year from now.
Or after we’ve had our first fight.
I’ll never make two million dollars a year like he does but if I have a job, a career, a way of taking care of myself, I’ll feel like I bring something to the table. Maybe that’s my pride talking, but I can’t help it.
The thing is, I have a good idea what happens when you marry a professional athlete.
Some women continue to have careers, but most have to put their dreams aside to be there for his career.
Through trades and injuries and all the other variables.
And when you’re in love, married, starting a family, that makes sense.
But there’s also a reason so many pro athletes wind up divorced.
For Bodi and me, it feels too soon to be making those kinds of plans.
Kelly would say I’m overthinking, and I probably am, but there are so many things to consider. And at the end of the day, I’m the one who’ll potentially be homeless if he decides this relationship isn’t for him.
Despite what I told him, I don’t know how far my trust extends.
In bed? Sure.
With my heart? It’s too late for that so I’m in it now, no matter what happens.
But with my life? My ability to survive?
The truth is, I’m not sure.
That kind of trust is difficult for me.
I used to trust my dad too, and he shattered it into a billion emotional pieces.
I put up with the way I’m treated for two simple reasons: I’ve been isolated for so long I’m not sure how to function outside of our family dynamic, and I worry about Lindy.
I hate the thought of leaving her. I don’t think they’d hurt her physically but Lourdes is already emotionally abusive and my dad will get more verbally abusive as she gets older, just like he did with me. He’s already started snapping at her.
Staying after graduation isn’t an option, no matter how much I love her. I’d take her with me if I could but I can’t prove there’s abuse going on and no judge would grant me custody. Not to mention, I can’t even take care of myself right now, much less a child.
Bodi could take care of both of us.
The thought is fleeting but I nearly groan because his words are already taking root, no matter how hard I try to slow things down.
“Jayne?” A beautiful blonde with eyes just like Bodi’s sinks down next to me.
“Billie! Hi!” I smile, a little mesmerized by how pretty she is—and how much she resembles her brother.
She leans over and gives me a quick hug. “It’s so nice to meet you. Bodi’s told me a lot about you.”
“Same. How are you?”
“I’m so excited to be here.” She settles into her seat. “This is the longest Bodi and I have gone without seeing each other—even when I was in college, I would see him all the time.”
“He was excited to see you too.”
“So.” She turns, studying me carefully, though her expression is sweet. “Bodi has a girlfriend. I’m a little stunned but so happy for him. It’s about time.”
I smile. “It was a surprise to me too. Did he tell you we got stuck in an elevator together at the DDS?”
“He did.” She laughs. “That’s a meet-cute worthy of a romance novel!”
“And apparently we were also unknowingly talking to each other through a dating app.”
“That’s way more than a coincidence,” she says. “That’s kismet right there.”
“That’s what he said too.” I bite my lip. “I just worry about him.”
“Because of your dad.” Her expression grows somber.
“I know. He’s been through so much in his hockey career.
With what happened to our parents. With me.
I mean, a lot of his stress with me was his own doing but still.
He stepped up to raise me when there was no one else.
You won’t find a better man than my brother.
He just needed to smooth some of his rough edges—and between you and his therapist, it seems to be working. ”
“I don’t know how much I’ve done. He’s wonderful but…” I break off because I don’t want to say too much. Or too little. I definitely don’t want to lie. I just don’t have anyone else to talk to, and of all people, his sister would probably understand my reservations.
“But?” she prods gently.
“But what happens if my dad finds out? I know it’s ridiculous from the outside looking in.
I’m twenty-three. I’m almost done with my master’s.
On paper, I should be able to do whatever I want, but the truth is, my dad has control of almost everything.
I don’t have my own money or a job. I’m way behind the eight-ball in adulting. ”
“Okay, wait. There shouldn’t be a timeline on those things. You’ve been in school—that’s very much like a full-time job. And don’t you work at a library?”
“Well, technically, I’m an intern and there’s very little chance they’ll hire me. My boss says she’d love to but there’s no budget for another librarian, so come May, when the internship is over, I’ll need a plan.”
“Bodi told me you dated one of your dad’s players in college and it went sideways, so I understand why your father nixed the idea, but at the same time, you’re an adult. You have to be able to make your own decisions. And your own mistakes.”
“You’d think so. I didn’t realize how much he’s kept me isolated until I met Bodi. It’s a little disconcerting how easily it happened.”
“To what end?”
“He’s always been a bit of a control freak, but it got much worse after Mom died. I’m just trying to not rock the boat until I can move out.”
“That’s smart. And if you get your license, you could potentially start working before you graduate. Even part-time, to put some money aside.”
“Bodi says he’ll take care of me,” I say softly. “But it feels wrong. Like it’s too soon to take money from him.”
“Eh.” She shrugs. “I kind of felt that way with my boyfriend too, but when you love someone, money starts to feel less important. Don’t get me wrong, having your own money is important, but who provides the most money is secondary.”
“It’s been seven weeks since we met,” I say, meeting her gaze. “Is that enough time to be in love?”
“It was with Rome and me. I kind of knew the first night I met him. This guy was hassling me at a bar, so I dug the heel of my stiletto into his foot. But he still wouldn’t go away so Rome stepped in and…
” She shrugs and fans herself dramatically.
“He became my knight in shining armor and the rest is history.”
“How long did it take Bodi to come around?”
She grimaces. “He didn’t come around until I moved out and refused to speak to him.
That’s when he realized he was going to have to choose, so he apologized.
It took a little more time until he finally accepted that Rome and I are together for the long haul, but that’s why I forced the issue of therapy. ”
“I’m ninety-nine-point nine percent sure my dad will never go to therapy.”
“Then it’s his loss. You have to do what’s right for you. Whether it’s moving in with Bodi or finding a roommate and doing your own thing. Either way, you shouldn’t be a prisoner.”
“I know.” I’ve had those same thoughts many times.
“Speaking of your dad…” She frowns. “Bodi said your dad’s new wife is Rome’s ex?”
“Yup.”
“Rome sent me this old photo of the two of them. Is it her?” She opens her phone and shows me a photo.
Sweet Jesus.
It’s a much younger version of Lourdes, but definitely her.
“That’s her.”
“Holy shit.” She stares at the photo. “Based on the timing, Rome is almost positive she cheated on him with your dad.”
I frown. “I don’t get it. If we take love out of the equation—I’m a million percent sure she doesn’t love my dad—why would she trade in a guy in the NHL for the head coach of a college team? Yes, he made decent money, but not the millions I assume Rome was making back then.”
“Because Rome wouldn’t give her a baby.” Billie’s eyes narrow.
“He says she desperately wanted to get pregnant, but he wasn’t ready and for him, the writing was kind of on the wall.
He saw fairly quickly that all she really cared about was money—he recently told me he didn’t think she’d be a good mother. Way too narcissistic.”
“My Dad didn’t want another kid, but she got pregnant anyway, and she definitely isn’t a great mom but it’s not my place to say anything.”
“That’s probably true.”
“Do you want kids?”
She grins. “I do, but not now. And he’s on board for a couple of kids. We just have goals and things we want to accomplish first.”
“That’s smart.”
“Think about your exit plan,” she says after a moment. “Get your license. Find a way to make some money of your own. Don’t allow your father to continue to control your life. At some point, it’s going to blow up in his face.”
“I have to get serious about my license. Bodi promised to teach me. I think that’s the first step.”
“Agreed. Give yourself some grace, but also don’t be too relaxed about it. Make some goals and stick to a timetable. Otherwise, you’ll just keep doing what’s comfortable instead of what you might really need.”
I hadn’t considered that, but now I’m going to.
“Thank you,” I whisper, squeezing her hand.
“Any time.” Her eyes twinkle. “Speaking of Lourdes, here she comes.”
I glance up at my stepmother, who’s coming down the steps holding Lindy’s hand. Lindy breaks away the moment she sees me and rushes over to hug me. I catch a strange look from Lourdes but my focus is on my sister.
“Where did you go?” she demands. “You left after the pageant.”
“I wanted to do some shopping,” I lie, hugging her.
I introduce her and Lourdes to Billie, and I see the two women sizing each other up. There’s no doubt in my mind they know who the other one is in relation to Rome, but they’re both polite. A few of the other wives and girlfriends flew out for this game, so there are a lot of people we know around.
Luckily, the seats Dad got for us are several rows behind the seats Bodi got for Billie and me. I feel a tiny bit guilty about making dad waste money on a seat I’m not using, but Billie framed it as having a friend who had to back out of coming at the last minute.
Now I just have to work up the nerve to tell Lourdes I’m not going home with them tomorrow but driving back to L.A. with Billie for another game.
And quality time with the boyfriend very few people know I have.